Little Lies
by Idratherbeinbritain
Summary: When I need the shelter, I'll be knocking on your door. But when it comes to dying, I'll do it on my own; I've never been too clever, I've always just hung on.
1. LES

_(AN: my OC's name is Zoe; it was kind of unintentional in my naming, but I bring up the association with Zoe's name and Hanji's last name, and make it something of a thing. I'm not good at naming, so it was a swing and a miss, but all I can do is clarify at the start of the story.)_

* * *

_the chips are up and on my shoulder, you heard me?_

* * *

"Attention!" Keith called. "From now on, these three will fight alongside you. You three, introduce yourself to your fellow soldiers."

Quiet stretched, but then Levi curled his lip back from his teeth, and said, "Name's Levi." And that was enough fucking talking for one day, never mind his friend's much more cheery introductions.

A couple days later, some actual cadets were scooped up and left there for a few months while they trained. Flagon snapped his fingers at a girl, and she turned from her food, quick to slam her fist to her chest. Levi's eyebrows twitched slightly, and he stared at her, impassive. He'd picked up on why they were here, this being showing Levi and his friends what trained Cadets, who were almost done with their training, could do.

"She's top ranked in her class," Flagon said, and the girl barely held a smile in, glowing, almost, with the praise. "And you're going to work with her."

Levi's lip curled, and he scoffed, "I don't work well with others."

"Well, you're going to have to get good at it. If you can't work with her by the end of the month, I'm going to tell-"

"Fine." Fucking blondie.

The Squad leader turned on his heel, and walked away, the trainers moving by him, one heading towards the two of them, the others to his friends and other Cadets. Levi assumed this was a big bump up for the Cadets; out of the 15 here, he meant. Most of them weren't for shit, but the pretty girl was, flying through the air with as much precision as Isabel, more even, all of her moves executed perfectly, without enthusiasm. Still, enthusiasm was a distraction, he supposed, and Isabel twirled excessively.

He was faster than her. Of course he fucking was, none of these people knew what it was like down there, knew how to survive like he and his friends did. Yea, he wanted out, but he wanted them out with them, where Isabel didn't muse over cake for hours. And they still had the nerve to call them names, like they were better than them? Fuck, it wasn't as if he was here to take care of anyone but Isabel, Farlan, and himself; that's who. Levi knew he could, confident to an extreme degree, and it was bolstered by every grudging compliment given to him, by Flagon.

By the next week, he'd found a lovely common ground in any outward emotion shown, going with bored/horrified at the almost universal stupidity at every single turn. He was fairly miserable, two fingers at his temple, trying to dispell the slow throb that seemed to spring up after Flagon's lessons, or any one of those shit stains called Cadets who raised their hands as soon as a question was proposed. At least his partner sat and took notes, hand raised when no one else could find the answers.

When he was called on, he only sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a few days of this treatment, Flagon didn't ask him. So maybe he wasn't as depressingly stupid as Levi had first imagined. Any hope was quashed immediately out in the field, by the Squad Leader, and the overeager Cadets.

To summarize, he was miserable, his partner was attractive and nervous, and his friends refused to do his cleaning to his expectations.

Now, lunch, his partner glared at him from her table, thankfully a ways away, a lone apple, small sandwich, and drink on her tray. Farlan cleared his throat as she stood up, his eyes drifting over her body, nodding slow, a soft 'nice', reaching Levi's ears. Levi stamped on his friend's foot, and Farlan choked on water, suitably disabled from staring, spluttering wildly while the pretty girl stopped at their table. The girl made to speak, opening her mouth, still looking at Levi instead of a red Farlan. Isabel glared, making the pretty girl turn and walk away, head tipped down. Farlan leaned around Levi, watching her as she walked away, and Levi watched her out of the corner of his eye, much smoother about it. His friend was distracted by Lei, another pretty girl, as she flounced by, but Farlan pointed towards the one he'd been injured for, due to his stare.

Farlan's sigh was heavy, almost longing, "Fuck, Levi, she's- fucking shit, that's a good-looking woman. It's really awesome up here, I mean; everywhere. And it's clean, so that's a plus for you."

"She's got a nice-" Levi stopped himself, catching Isabel's annoyed look.

"Did you see Lei when she got wet?" Farlan blew out a breath, his fringe flopping up briefly. "Yea. We should talk about that."

Levi ignored his friend, talked to Isabel, "what?"

"You two are such guys."

"Yea, thanks for bringing that up," Farlan snorted, rolling his eyes, food already demolished. "You gonna eat that bread?"

"What has she got that I don't?" Isabel snapped, arms over her chest.

"Why does it matter?" Levi asked, swatting Farlan's hand hard away from his food.

"Because I'm a girl."

Farlan cracked a grin. "What has she got? First, she's got a gorgeous face, and piercings, so, you know what that does for me. And," Farlan elbowed Levi, and Levi had to fight to keep his mouth shut. "great ass. Just in general, she's small, , so, I'm there for it. If she talked more, I'd definitely go for it. There's, like, no conversation, even around the Cadets, and she kind of shrinks herself; some weird shit. Also, she's smart, and smart girls are very good at maneuvering better in relationships; and screwing you over. And, she wants to be a Military Police; takes orders like a dream. I mean, I'd still, you know, but nothing long term."

Levi clenched his teeth, rolling his eyes. "Wasted talent."

"Ah, fuck, most of these people want to be behind Wall Sina." Farlan waved his hand, then set both on the table, and Levi knew he was going to start on Lei, because his friend was into her, and put the pretty girl in second place behind Lei.

Levi nodded his agreement, eyes cutting around the room. Eventually, Levi made the pretty girl second in her class, the rankings only considering the group here, training away from others. She was still no1 to the training communities, but finding herself down a rank on other's charts made her tense up. This snapped any idea of team work, and though she became grating, there was something about her that stopped him from outright hatred.

He found himself watching her in the same way Farlan did; excusing the all around lack of chance his friend had with her. Levi worked with her everyday, was even involved her personal workout routines. It seemed that her involving him in it had been a mistake, the event organized mostly by Erwin, who'd tricked the girl into agreeing to help Levi out, roping their shitty training instructor Farlan into the idea. Of course, Levi wasn't given an option out either, and as he woke up at her insanely early hour of training, he sincerely regretted his decision to join the military.

Levi's attraction to wasn't romantic in the slightest, confined to the sexual variety. He didn't look past skin deep, and the small slivers of personality he picked up, from that less than stony silence she tried to keep around him, managed to only appeal to his addition of details of a possible bedroom scene. In the rare 'calm' variety of dreams, he was entertained by her naked body (to whatever point he'd been imagining it when conscious), tousled curls shading her face, muscle thick thighs wrapped tight around his hips. Levi was always interested in making his dreams a reality.

He caught her lingering looks, returned them as best he could in the moment. She often ducked her head when she'd been found out, and he wanted to tell her he felt it too. Whatever it was, the way she drew him in, wasn't something he was going to ignore. Levi made sure to shift close to her whenever they were alone, gave her tips on her 3DMG form that she thanked him for, albeit in a grumbly form after dinner.

A training run had them closer than ever, and being the gentleman he was, saved her from hitting the ground as a 3DMG manuever couldn't be pulled off. His quick move, an arm around her waist stopped them from getting seriously hurt. They hung there for a second, her arms tight around his waist in turn, pressed too close. She raised her eyes to his, and for a moment, everything kind of slowed down; all very romantic and poetic. The line gave out, and they crashed the rest of the way to the forest floor, his body over hers, caging her under him.

Levi didn't move, blades lying forgotten, hand fisting in the grass beside her hair. He shifted, new knowledge that he was between her legs surfacing, his eyes still on hers. A second later, he leaned in, pressing a bruising kiss to her lips, almost surprised when she responded, but he went along with it. All because he'd thrown caution to the wind, and it wasn't as if she was going to mean anything to him, he was very, very good at not developing feelings. Besides, she wanted to be a Military Police.

His hand slipped behind her head, tilting his head, tongue lashing into her mouth. She kissed like she fought, not backing down, leveling with him on this, at least. Levi moved to find one of her legs, jolting her as he pulled, fitting his hips snug between her thighs, the 3D movement gear making it a bit awkward. He nipped hard at her bottom lip, and she brought a hand up to his hair, and yanked.

He chuckled, amused with her, wondering if he could fuck her right here. A noise reached his ears first, and he pulled away from her, glaring over his shoulder. When he turned back, she was standing up and away, grabbing her still useable blades, stabbing them back into her handles. She jumped, using the device to move her up to a faraway branch. Levi got in a slight smirk, dragging the back of his hand over his lips, before she jumped again, and moved out of sight.

"Get the fuck up," Falgon shouted, glaring as he passed over him.

Levi's mood soured, headache starting up, and he jumped, jetting ahead. At least he didn't have to take off his shirt to really get her attention, he'd almost resorted to teenage shit like that. He maneuvered out of the forest, the cardboard Titan cutouts behind him in no time. As he walked back into camp, he took a beat to memorize her name; Zoe. With the nice ass, as the boy who supplied it added, chuckles going around the male Cadet table. With a barely contained sigh, he walked away, sitting next to his friends.

In the days after the incident he kept to his previous patterns, noticing her confusion at times. When he placed himself close to her, her eyes looked from his lips to his eyes, brow wrinkled, arms crossed tight over her chest. She turned away from him, toe of her combat boots digging into the ground before she walked away. He wanted to let things settle, have her alone someplace quiet, with no gear on, make sure she wanted him.

As the deadline to be able to work together at a novice level neared, he was with her in the set up simulation. For once, they made it through with barely a hiccup, the pride rising slightly in his chest. He crossed paths with her later that night, had her grasping the sleeve of his shirt to get him to turn to her, gazing down at her. Her tongue pressed over her chapped lips, inhaling sharply, guiding his hand to her waist, body pressing close to his, lips presented invitingly.

"You're okay with this?" he asked, recalling the fact that he didn't want to waste time on shit like this, with how much he wanted to get his hands on her in a very literal sense.

"Yes."

Consent allowed him to push her back against the wall, meeting her lips with as much intensity as he could muster, a hand at her cheek, other still where she'd placed it at her waist. She made the slightest noise as he pulled back, tipping her head before she leaned in herself, initiating the next kiss. The hand at her waist dipped to her ass by the third kiss, pulling her body flush to his, splaying his hand over her pants.

Zoe looped her arms around his neck, slipping one of her hands under his shirt, nails digging into his bare skin. Her body was still tense against his, and Levi didn't want that at all, dropping his lips to her neck, pressing an open mouthed kiss to her neck as he raised her knee slowly to his hip, pressing her body harder against the backing wall. He pulled back to kiss her again, savoring her taste, tongue pressing against hers, felt her body shiver against his. She was living up to every fantasy he'd had to her, even if her clothes weren't off.

He made sure to kiss her with a certain urgency, her legs around his waist soon enough, shirt collar in disarray. Her cadet jacket was on the ground, a sleeve in the radius a near by lamp created, the two of them still cloaked in relative darkness. Levi left a mark on her neck that was even visible in the dim night.

Her jacket was tugged up to hide the large hickey, but when she walked by, Farlan and Levi caught sight of it. Levi's smirk crawled over his face, and his friend noticed, glancing to Isabel, still half asleep, drooling onto the table. Farlan slapped his shoulder, turning him.

"Did you-?"

"None of your business."

Still, Farlan's eyes glistened with tears of pride before he whispered, "Please tell me what it was like."

"Maybe."

"I'll do the cleaning to your standards."

Levi's eyebrows lifted, and he looked over. "Really?"

"Yes."

The Regiment took them outside the wall for barely an instant, and that's when her gear malfunctioned. It'd been something of trial run, practice for the Scout Regiment, a glimpse at the terror of the Titans, see if they didn't break down. Not they saw any until they were coming back. Zoe and her squad members had been zipping ahead, trying to gain a good length on one, before tipping back to disable it. At some point, even as she whirled, and sliced the flesh off and killed it, her gear stuck, everyone back inside Wall Maria, squad members using air in their 3D gear. Levi got her back in one solid piece, leagues ahead of everyone else.

A shared rush to get into each other's pants occurred, with Levi savoring her as best he could. Maybe she didn't think she had a lot of time, but he'd wanted more of it here. They'd just managed to get clothes back on before Flagon had rushed in, looking almost surprised to see Zoe, the group apparently held up at the river.

Various hookups spread across the months left, and some semblance of other feelings for her popped up. They worked well, like an oiled machine, and he was better with her at his side, nothing needed to be said, a connection there that he'd never tell Farlan or Isabel. Still, they noticed his absence, her leaving the room, him coming back late at night, the nicks she left prominently displayed when his shirt was off, or in the shower.

Farlan caught them twice, one in probably one of the most compromising position he'd been in, his head between her legs, his uniform pants still on, just as she was coming, her shuddering breath hitching suddenly. Her fingers had been taken abruptly out of his hair. Levi frowned, but then he heard the strangled yelp his friend had given. With a sigh, he set his forehead an inch down from her belly button, thumb still sliding over her hipbone, grateful he hadn't pushed her shirt up over her breasts.

"Didn't you have a run today, or some kind of assessment?" he asked, cutting his eyes to his friend, annoyance laced in his words. Embarrassment was out the window, it was all fucking done.

"I-I c-Didn't need me, set back, I-I'll wait out there," Farlan bumped hard into the door, before he remembered how to open it.

Zoe attempted to get up, but he slapped his arm over her stomach. "Did I say you could get up?"

She smiled slow, relaxing into the sheets again, legs parting for him again. In the end, Farlan was left outside for an hour, and she bit down on a pillow, legs and arms almost giving out as her third orgasm shocked through her. Levi's smirk was far too wide, eyes on her ass as she moved slow, his pants back up to his hips. His hand mark was red on her ass, and he looked up at her as she tugged her shirt back on, careful with her pants, wincing as she slipped them over the hand print.

He stood, catching her elbow as she attempted to complete the distance to the door, kissing her hard before opening the door. Farlan watched her go, moving slow into their room, eyeing the covers, rumpled, the lingering sex smell clearing out via the window he'd opened. Levi let the door shut, and went to arrange his bed, feeling his friend's eyes on him.

The second time he caught them she had his cock in her mouth, in that late phase where she went limp, eyes glassy, looking up at him, letting him do almost whatever he liked to her. Thankfully, Farlan had only got the briefest of looks, and it was night, before snapping the door shut. His appearance had almost killed the mood, not that there was much.

Three days later, Zoe said, "Your friend keeps staring at me."

"Who?"

"You only have two friends, I think you can figure it out."

Levi gave a short shrug, guiding his cloth down his blades, making them gleam. "Probably trying to recall your pretty orgasm look." she attempted to kick him, but he grabbed her ankle, yanking her to him. "Or the way you look with someone's dick in your mouth? All flushed, looking like you just got fucked proper, but it's only because you fucking love the feel of it, huh?"

She dropped her eyes, hardly responding, but a faint blush appeared on her skin. He smirked, hoping she'd make the right decision, come with him in the Scout Regiment. Then when his plan was executed, he'd take her with him, especially if it all worked properly. Levi stationed his long legs to either side of her, arm thrown over his knee, tipping his head up, watching the birds, wondering if Flagon could find them, hoped he couldn't.

Isabel wasn't Zoe's biggest fan, though Levi was sure it mostly stemmed from her taking up his time, how easily she managed to get him emoting, whether it was just a smirk, or a something less than that. Isabel crossed her arms over her chest, surprisingly awake at a late hour, tapping her foot on the floorboards, Zoe at his side, laughing. Levi shook his head.

"It's not funny," he attempted mouth pressed into a firm line, though he knew it was; he had a couple of jokes up his sleeve, even if they were only good because they were laughably bad, and dry.

"Yes it is, and you know it," Zoe pressed a tad closer, wrapping her arms around his arm, and Levi didn't pull it away this time.

They were still far away from Isabel, and Levi hadn't given a hint that he'd seen her till they were about ten steps away from her. With a sigh, he raised his eyes to his friend, pointing at the door, mouthing at her. She shook her head, and he glanced once to the ceiling, wishing she'd save this for later, not wanting to argue with her.

"You weren't here," she said, not waiting for Levi to at least send Zoe away.

"Isabel, give me a second, okay?" Levi's eyebrows were twisted, annoyed with his friend, and really didn't want to fight, but this was ridiculous. He turned to Zoe, surprised when she leaned up.

"I hate sleeping alone," she breathed, and he smirked, hand out to press against the wall. "come with me, maybe?"

And fuck was it tempting, especially when she added 'I'm all yours'. He knew that, at least, her body was his, and he . Levi was making it his mission to know every inch of her, what to touch to make her unravel faster.

A small noise from Isabel told him he'd better not take her up on that offer, and Levi knew if he did, he wouldn't hear the end of it. He breathed deep, closing his eyes briefly, weighing the good and bad here. Eventually, he pulled back, not before nipping hard on a sensitive little area on her neck, his other hand smoothing superstitiously over her ass.

His argument with Isabel spanned over a good amount of time, berating him in the same way an insistent swarm of mosquitoes would. "It's not as if I'm going to fall in love with her, dammit. She's just a warm body, get that?" He finally said, his tone making his friend flinch. Levi apologized in his own, non-vocal way, ruffling his hand through her hair, promising to steal her a muffin.

But Zoe wasn't. Because you didn't spend a good amount of time with someone who was only a warm body. He allowed her such late nights, in the room adjacent to Isabel's , her body snug for the moment against his, focusing on the ceiling from his bed, though he kept some peripheral focus on her.

"Not your type?" she laughed, free hand playing down his chest.

He wondered if she'd ever really develop feelings for him. Levi thought differently, reminding himself that he wasn't particularly loveable, his prickly demeanor staving off most. She was a pretty flower, that flourished in the light, wasn't she? He'd gotten used to the dark, cold, harsh underground, and flowers never turned to the dark for energy, did they? And who wanted flowers when they were dead?

"You're very...kind. Does it seem like I go for sweet girls?"

"Am I?"

"Not always. Like when you don't win."

"I'm competitive. It's not a crime, is it?"

"Zoe, when you actual get pissed, and stop caring about how people might judge you; that's when I like the you the most."

She stopped looking at him, eyes drifting away from his. He didn't get a response to that; didn't press for one. Levi turned onto his side, shoving an extra pillow in between them. Zoe couldn't leave his quarters; it was past curfew, and if they caught her, it would mean a number of punishments on her shoulders. So he let her stay occasionally, making sure to put as much space between them as he could.

Levi didn't want to lead her along, and he didn't want to let her get close in the slightest. He was still awake when he heard her breathing even out, giving a short shiver before her body fully relaxed into sleep. Her heel dug briefly into his thigh as she kicked out, and Levi sighed into his pillow, turning to scowl at her over the barrier. Though it was a mistake to let his eyes linger on her face, wild curls plastered to her cheek, he still pushed her foot away from his side, sliding the pillow between them further down.

He preferred sleeping alone.

Favorite part of his entire shitty day.

* * *

_She the type to seek love and make it everlasting; I'm the type to wake up and say you never happened. I mean I fucked the girl with hella passion, but it's cold how we smashing, left her sleeping on a separate mattress._

_I think her body makes for better practice._

* * *

Farlan nudged him awake in the morning, though Levi didn't know when he'd fallen asleep, shifting slowly. Zoe was still next to him, and Farlan pointed down at her, mouthing 'what am I supposed to do'. Levi waved him away, pointing at the door, alternating between these two motions until Farlan was out of the room, and Levi turned his attention to Zoe.

"Hey," he said, and she shifted awake, taking a bit of time. "Get up."

Zoe smiled, eyes barely open, stretching beside him with small squeaks. His brow furrowed, listening to her, then shook his head, knowing there was a serious assessment today, concerning his team work ability with someone other than his friends. She left to get dressed, and Levi met her out near the largest run, and even from a distance back, he couldn't see the end of the forest.

She stood, talking to the other Cadets, five left from the 10 that already went, waiting for them, to complete the partner drill. Actually, no, she wasn't, Zoe stood, hands awkwardly twisting behind her back, tugging at her fingers, a bit on the edge, same as he. Isabel and Farlan were at his side, talking and laughing. He turned, eyebrow arching, lips twisting down, wishing they'd take this with a bit of gravity.

"Right, so," Flagon eyed Levi and his friends. "We're looking for the fastest time, as well as perfect kills, the team aspect tying in with perfect leg cuts. If both of these spots are not hit, the kill will not count, and 5 minutes will be added to your time."

Isabel stuck up an urgent hand, and Flagon took a good long moment to look about for another question before finally saying, "What?"

"What's the record? How are you gonna stick in all 4 groups? Are we going to be back in time for lunch?"

"The regular time is around 30 minutes; record, 13 minutes with no mistakes. The down time between each run will take about 20/15 minutes, so this should take 4 hours, or less," Flagon listed, sounding tired. "While that's happening, we'll work on your hand to hand combat skills, and since you two have already done that," Flagon looked to Farlan and the Cadet he was partnered with. "You'll be running through the forest first. I'll fire off a green flare, and you'll start. When complete, the men on the other side will fire off a red. A blue one will be shot off when the clear up is done and good, and the next group will go. Lunch after this, a bit of downtime, then we'll work on hand-to-hand assessments. Everyone straight?"

The five Cadets snapped to quick attention, while Levi and his friends remained stationary. Levi leaned back against the tree, head tipped low, barely acknowledging the first sound of a flare gun, Farlan and the Cadet making a bit of noise as they put their 3D devices to use. Flagon snapped at the rest of them, 6 other 3D devices resting away, a couple of trainers just walking down the hill.

They paired off singularly, Levi's hand brushing Zoe's as he walked past her to the unlucky Cadet who'd been paired with him instead. For a moment, he was distracted, watching her tie her curls up before she shifted herself into that odd waiting stance. The trainers hadn't been happy with that, and they glowered over it as much as they did Levi's odd way of holding his blades.

Still, as soon as her opponent moved, she dipped in an instant, a bit of dust flying up as she twisted around, the boy's momentum carrying him farther as she shoved him down to sprawl in the sparse grass. Levi noticed her punches were pulled, and the boy didn't hit the earth too hard. Someone snapped his name, and he turned to face his partner, knowing it was that annoying Cadet who'd gotten a bit too chummy with Zoe from time to time, handsy, even. Not that she talked to a lot of people, always very reserved and polite, so people were more of acquaintances to her.

Lucas rolled his broad shoulders, very muscly, but very stupid. Levi was far stronger than his build gave, and though he was fairly short, he still wasn't shorter than Isabel. It was the only thing people could really poke fun at, but then, Levi couldn't give a fuck about that, assured in his own skill to kill them if he wanted.

The trainers circled, snapping when someone threw a harder punch then necessary, allowing them to scuffle about briefly, till they started applying skills to this. They gave an example, walking through the steps, patting the place where they should be connecting. Levi was almost beyond bored, until the blue flare shot up from within the tree.

He saw the time sheet before that, just making out the numbers as the red flare was fading from the sky. 19 minutes, and some seconds, and Farlan was sure to grumble about his partner later on, but Levi had told him to sort it out, stop complaining, it was his problem. Still, 19 was fucking good, next to the other times the 10 Cadets had made yesterday, almost none of them dropping under 20, and only one was lower than his friend's.

Isabel and her partner went next, and she gave one of her overjoyed hoots as she did. Her time was 19 as well, though Farlan's was a couple seconds less. Another blue flare went up, and the two Cadets went, and this time the red flare took a fairly long time. So he sparred with Zoe, who was damn good at hand-to-hand, almost as good as he was, using his strength against him. She'd beat him many times before this, and he'd pulled a more shady move to win himself.

Levi caught sight of the red flare first. His heart gave a little jolt, and he breathed through the first jolt of adrenaline, standing next to her before they were called over to their gear. Levi scrutinized his, checking every inch of it, tugging at the leather straps, testing it, checking the tank of gas before he deemed it useable. She'd done the same thing, lifting her legs once it was on, jumping for a second, before they were placed in the same location the others were. Flagon still had no idea that they were actually working well together, as he'd been gone for the last week or so.

"Hey," Levi said, catching her attention, recognizing her short breaths, knew she could push herself straight into another panic attack. That he'd held her through one honestly scared him, because he didn't want to feel anything for her. "Let's beat that record, huh?" he lowered his voice, "We've got this."

He saw her close her eyes, breathe deep, then nodded. "Yea."

The green flare shot into the air, and they took two steps in perfect rhythm, his swords out as the silver line attached to a tree, tipped at the odd angle. They alternated between legs and the kill spot, jetting along, hardly using their gas, except for redirecting themselves. There were 20 Titan cut outs, all varying meters, and he was sure she was counting in her head as well.

His gear was an extension of his body, same with her, he knew, because her movements were as graceful as his, as if she'd been using it for the amount of time he had. Still, Levi had raw talent, along with moves that had never been taught to him, so partnering with anyone besides his friends felt a bit off, because he knew how to adjust himself for Isabel and Farlan. And now he knew how to adjust to her style, whirling between the cutouts.

Her style was much more clipped, conservative, like his own, and unlike Farlan's and Isabel. The two sometimes were more flashy than necessary, especially Isabel's, though she could ride a horse much better than he could, and Zoe, especially, who was still trying to master that part. Farlan was a bit skittish towards some things, psyching himself out, messing up when he did. While Zoe was nervous, she did try and take his advice of breathing, which did sort out some of her blunders. In front of another Titan, however, he wasn't sure if she could breathe through that, because she still was nervous to even considering 'Titan Territory'.

She bounced quick between trees, and he noticed the flash of pain on her face as she clipped a branch. Zoe powered through, tipping her head to provide direction, the last wooden construct looming out of his own sight. Her blades hacked through the legs before his gouged the neck, bursting from the trees. Levi caught sight of a wide mouth, everyone who stood out on this side, besides his friends, stared up, keeping eyes on them, the red flare already up in the air.

Zoe and he landed within seconds of each other, her crouched, a blade flat on on the grass, other out to the side, before standing. Levi didn't touch the ground, letting his knees bend just slightly, reducing the landing pain, blades held odd still. He stabbed them back into his holster, another pair lying forgotten back in the forest, dulled after 15 kills, same as hers, the wood putting strain on them. She did the same, standing still while she tied up her hair again, almost nervous.

"Was it bad?" she asked, biting at her bottom lip, voice small. "I know it was bad; I could've done better, I don't think-I just-" She stopped herself from rambling.

Flagon was riding over, hiding his stunned look well, slipping off horseback, comparing his times with the regiment troops on their end. Levi stepped forward, and she trailed after, nervous biting of her bottom lip continuing. The two older people shifted away, man who'd been firing the flares joining the huddle. The squad leader jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, the assistant jumping on horseback, along with another female.

They exited the course 15 minutes later, giving Flagon a nod. The man didn't look happy, but Levi could give a shit, knowing how Zoe could work herself up if she didn't live up to standards set by herself. This increased the pressure on her shoulders, and she disappeared during some meal times to her room, working through a panic attack, he'd discovered.

"How about you let me know my time?" Levi didn't temper his tone, still not happy with Flagon.

The man glared over his shoulder, but turned none the less, looking at the two in front of him. Flagon shoved the board under Levi's nose, lips twisted down. 12 minutes on his board, and 11:58 on the people at the end. Zoe's eyebrows shot up, and she gave a soft noise, hand slapping to his arm, and jerking him about by his jacket. Levi pulled it out of her grasp, knowing he could've done better alone without the partner slicing leg coordination, but still, he'd shown that he could be just as good working with another person.

She was still glowing three days later. Of course, she was now spending more time with the Cadets, and training away from him. He saw Lucas trailing after her, knew the strained smile, and frowned. More time passed, and he suddenly went a week without her, stuck getting himself off in the shower, happy with the late time he'd chosen. Not entirely the no sex route, but he wasn't going to complain, taking the no she gave him, and the distance to heart.

Levi finished the wash, dragging his towel quick over his hair, making sure he was marginally dry before stepping out. The warm air and him being wet didn't make his progress any better, pants low on his hips as he walked back to the barracks. A noise distracted him, and he stopped, looking about for the source, giving a short huff, shaking his head as he reflected on the idea that he should've fucking brought his knife. He was getting lazy.

Still, in the torchlight placed strategically around, he caught sight of Lucas a good ways away. Then he registered Zoe's presence, and frowned deep, wondering if he should go up to her, but thought better about it, giving the two another look. One of the torches gave a sharp flare as he did, literally shedding new light on the situation, the way Lucas was advancing on her, backed into a corner. For an instant, he stood, until he saw Lucas grab her wrists, the sharp yelp she gave.

Levi strode down the corridor, catching words from Lucas, "Oiya, come on, be game."

She squirmed, trying to hit him, but her room was limited, and when Lucas got in close, used his bulk like he was now, the smaller person usually didn't have a chance, "Lucas, I'm serious, you-you're hurting me, I said no." She got in a smack, the sound reaching his ears, and Levi picked up his pace.

"What, so you'll fuck a sewer rat, but not me? Fucking slut-" Lucas bared his teeth, shoving her hard against the wall, "think about that answer," he gave her a shake, just as Levi stepped up.

Levi grasped the man's hair, yanking hard, listening to the yelp, Lucas's eyes shifting fast, trying to take in the situation. He'd let go of Zoe as Levi tugged a bit harder, lips starting to form around 'sewer', but Levi sent his face into the nearest wall, the boy stumbling back, dazed as blood bloomed at his temple. Lucas swung out wildly, and Levi side stepped the half-assed attempt, driving his elbow into Lucas' back, sending him sprawling.

Before he could stand up, Levi pulled Lucas to his feet , only to slam his booted foot down, used to the semi-darkness, as that's what he'd fought in for the most part of his life. He heard the satisfying, almost wet noise as Lucas's kneecap was hit, not broken. Yet. Lucas's mouth hung open, shout of pain stalling in his throat, and he lunged, hand catching Levi's wrist despite his quick movement.

Levi was slammed back against the wall, managing to keep his head from connecting, but the rough stone grated against his bare back. He was actually happy he'd not dried himself completely, yanking his wrist away without much trouble, bringing his leg up as he pushed from the wall, connecting with Lucas's stomach, ducking another wild punch, and throwing his shoulder with his full, though small, weight, against the already off balance boy.

He stepped back, knowing Lucas would get back up, because he'd seen his stamina, how he could ignore pain, along with his brutality, breaking a smaller Cadet's nose. No apology, but the Cadet had laughed it off with him.

Lucas used the wall to stand, lumbering towards him, blood from his forehead leaking down his cheek. Levi managed to bounce away again, but his shoulder grazed hard against the wall, pain thrumming, mixing with the back injuries he'd suffered,

"Fucking," Lucas' voice was a growl, "sewer scum. Think you can beat me? I've had more training, you piece of underground shit, I can fucking crush you."

This time, Levi allowed Lucas to connect with him, hooking his arm around the boy's neck, turning on the ball of his still stationary foot, sending Lucas hard to the ground, his body cushioning the worst of the fall on Levi's side. Lucas' arm almost came out of nowhere, and he managed to move, but Lucas's nails scrabbled at his skin, until Levi lifted his arm, smacking it away with the back of his.

As a result he lost some of the weight he had on the boy, and Lucas surged up, attempting to grab for his neck, but Levi squirreled away, bouncing back. He watched Lucas close as the boy circled, their progress out of the hallway to the courtyard heralded by a lack of torches, moonlight replacing it. By that time, their noises had roused a couple of the Cadets, watching from a window.

Levi's eyes went to Zoe, her eyes wide, that pretty little nightgown she always wore fueling his anger. Lucas probably fucking waited around, for her to go to the bathroom, whatever, he was still a fucking pig. The large Cadet had moved in the split second he averted his eyes, and Levi dodged again, but Lucas tipped himself, just enough to throw Levi off balance, causing him to fall. Levi curled so he wouldn't hit his head, but the impact still hurt, back sliding over the rough stone, further opening the scratches. Lucas' foot connected with his stomach before Levi could rise to his feet.

He was back up, putting the pain to the side, knowing if he'd stayed down, it wasn't going to get any better. Levi breath came a tad harder, feeling blood ooze from his wounds, knowing that Lucas was worn down. Still, he had to finish this before that blond shithead, Erwin, or whatever was alerted to this, or him waking up more Cadets, or the Scout REgiment troops. Lucas and he circled each other, and Levi watched him closely, the way his knee threatened to give, remembering how the boy fisted his hand tighter before swinging a punch.

Lucas' hand clenched, moving quick, but Levi had seen the tell, planting his boot, ducking under the punch, using the immense speed the boy had put into this. Levi gripped his wrist, the weight barely on his shoulders before he shoved off, the boy's legs in the air, falling hard on his back, curling like Levi had, head avoiding the stone. Bastard, that fucking shit eater; Levi wanted to break his fucking neck, touching Zoe like that, hurting her. With clenched teeth, Levi stepped in, spitting down once.

He brought the toe of his boot down, kicking him, recalling Zoe's trembling voice and kicked harder, even as Lucas tried to crawl away. Levi thought he was saying something, but the rush of blood was blotting it out. Lucas was shifting away every time he brought his boot to land, and Levi dipped to grab the boy's collar, driving his fist down, the satisfying crunch of his nose reaching him somehow.

Levi alternated between punching and kicking him, until he was faced with a corner, smiling down at Lucas, the action feral. His hands rested on the wall, using it to prop him up as he kicked mindlessly at the curled Cadet in front of him, taunting him, able to hear himself, but not Lucas. Somebody's voice managed to stop him for an instant, Levi's bloody boot resting on Lucas' chest, whipping around, clenching his bruised hand into a fist, pain flaring through him as he did.

Zoe.

Her hands fluttered, not touching him, eyes wide, lips moving despite the muted sound till he focused on her. "Levi, you're going to kill him, and your back- please, please," she brushed his sweat damp hair away from his face, and he hated that it calmed him, "Focus on something else, take a deep breath."

He focused on her, shoulders sagging after a minute, adrenaline draining away, and he put a bit of weight on her. She looked scared, and he dropped his eyes away, ashamed he was the one making her look like that. Levi didn't show it, turning back to Lucas, impassive as he stared down, almost disappointed when Lucas took a breath. Zoe dipped to check on her assailant, and his lip curled, wondering how she could show any sort of kindness to someone like Lucas.

"We've got to get him to a medic, or something."

"Is he awake?" Levi asked, as a Cadet jogged out.

The boy looked between them, pointed at Lucas, said, "I'm here to help if you want."

"Is the medic awake?" Zoe asked.

"Yea, it's only 10, I'm pretty sure he'll be up."

"Okay, let's get there."

Levi plodded along side them, the walk hardly taking ten minutes. The man's eyes almost bulged when he saw Lucas, speaking hurriedly to the Cadet, briefly spending time on Levi, pressing a towel and alcohol into Zoe's hands, along with water. She sat him down on one of the cots, ignoring his protests, making him roll his eyes, setting his forehead in his hands.

He barely winced as she guided the alcohol first over his wounds, gritting his teeth instead, muscles jerking in response to her cloth passing over. The other was warm, and he relaxed, especially when he felt her skin on his, tipping slightly, seeing that she'd pressed her forehead to the hardly scarred part of his back. Levi almost smiled, but thought better of it, gazing out on the opposite wall.

"Thank you," she murmured.

Levi didn't respond.

With a slight sigh, she continued, "It doesn't look too bad. None of them are too deep. No stitches."

He remained silent, just sore and tired, like he'd always felt underground. Her hand slid slow over his back, a mild temperatured ointment making his wounds smart for a second, then nothing. His breath came slow, wondered if her hands were magic, giving an involuntary shake, telling himself that was silly, but his mind still wandered. Levi didn't have time for this. Hadn't, at least, world fast paced, the underground a place where you had to grow up fast.

So he hadn't had time to fall in love, wondered why this girl was breaking down barriers, stepping into a place he reserved for specific people. Not pretty girls, with soft hands, and a smile that made his scowl clear up. Soft hands, the ones on his back, her thumb working slow over his wounds. Felt the lips that curved up into that smile touch, kind as her hands, to his uninjured shoulder.

Levi stood abruptly, jerked the door open harshly, hands protesting, tipping his head to look over at her. "Tomorrow, 8pm, you'd better be in my room."

"I have to clean-"

"My fucking room, Zoe," he snapped, lip curling in distaste(even in the name of cleaning). "Next time, better be prepared to fight your own fucking battles. I've got better shit to do than get hurt because you're not strong enough."

She looked taken aback, frown twisting down, attempting, "Levi, I never-"

"If you're not there, I'll come and find you, and you don't want that."

Over the month they had left, he found the littlest things to dislike about her, slept around, made sure she knew about it. He didn't want to be talkative with the scout regiment men, but they did know the classiest, ah, termed, brothel, he thought, assuring him that the presiding Mistress made sure her girls were clean, though the same standard was held to the men. Levi didn't understand why they all clustered outside the door, telling him 'he could do it'.

"What-" he attempted, but then one of them touched his shoulder, and he had to shut up, focusing on not moving away and punching him. Did they think he'd never slept with a girl?

"Don't come fast, you'll get a bad rep." In fact they did.

Levi looked at the man for a few seconds, before rolling his eyes, turning on his heel. He snapped the door closed behind him, eyes flicking once over the girl. She didn't have a single trait close to Zoe, and he resisted the flare of annoyance, close enough to the door to hear the chuckles of the men. They speculated there, and Levi sneered at it before turning to the girl. woman. Without the shape that Zoe had, and the woman shifted into a similar position she had once.

She'd been reading in his bed, naked except for a hastily drawn across sheet, legs drawn up, hooking her knee over the other. Like the woman was. The woman reached, as if to guide him. Levi felt he should've gone with the bloke who paid for this, or filled out some preliminary form on the amount of experience he had. He was willing to do just that, despite his general dislike of paperwork.

She was from one of those hunting clans, if her way of speaking was anything to go by. Levi noted she didn't even attempt to mask the accent; maybe apart of her charm, though he couldn't find much of that in the first place. Not that he was looking for just that, his face void of any real comforting emotion, tone of his voice not carrying any real inflection.

He did manage heaving breaths, shame and lust carried there, at least expressing some emotion externally now, losing the poise he preferred in this setting, as always. His hand clenched at the headboard, trying to overwhelm himself in the same respects, to find some solace in the lack of similar traits, but all this woman did was stab the idea that he did care deeper into his body, one of his more painful wounds. The girl didn't shudder like Zoe did, didn't curse, try and muffle herself in the slightest, try to provide some lingering resistance to him. Maybe it was her was of trying to lessen the pride he carried, though he wasn't the one to be humble.

For a brief second, his vision swam, and Levi saw her, hand curling into a fist, driving it into the headboard, pain shocking the image from his mind. His breath slowed, and he collected himself enough to slip off the bed, running a hand through his hair, making sure he looked suitably ruffled enough for the inference to be made that he'd given more effort, involved himself to the point of physical depravity.

"The people I walked in with, they got the tab, right?"

The woman shifted, almost catlike, the small smirk assuring him that his assumption was correct. As well as being satisfied. Which didn't please him as much as he'd thought it would, shaking his head to rid himself of the lingering guilt. Fuck; it wasn't as if he'd cheated, but he-

"Fuck it." Levi opened the door, jolting back from the men there, snapping, "Oi, can you move?"

"She was-she came."

"Well, yes, usually, females are supposed to enjoy sex."

"But she was-"

"Look, I have shit to do, are we going to go back, are are you going to stand there with your mouth open," he'd add something else, but he was tempered by the desire to use them, broadcast this achievement to Zoe that way.

Levi didn't talk on the way back, allowing the congratulations to pour over him. As if they had same sixth sense that allowed them to know his reasons, they proceeded to go into graphic terms right as he passed Zoe. Saw her stiffen when the men repeated the phrase reverently, 'You fucked her brains out', agreements with the phrase going around.

He was a bit too eager the next day, catching her and dragging her into a small room, hands roving over, her back pressed to his chest. Levi ignored her questions, hearing a bit of jealousy there, hands tightening in a response to her tone, a surge of sadistic glee rushing over him. She stopped talking as well, and Levi's success seemed to disappear, as he realized that nobody managed to linger on his mind in the same way. She'd been yelling fuck me, hadn't she? Now, fuck you; a wonderful juxtaposition, even if it lacked that difference on paper. More emotional. And he was decidedly less advanced when it came to emotions, rather than 3D gear.

Levi gave a brief shake of his head, pressing it into the crook of her neck, hands sliding slow under her pants, the pretty little buttoned vest she wore over her shirt open. He felt her tip her hips slightly, hand rounding to the back of his neck, and Levi watched her face, how she bit her lip, chewing there for a good second, then melted into him, jaw dropping, breathing harder. Her pants were dropping from her hips, and she made an attempt to catch them, but he made a sound, and she stopped.

"The door, Levi."

He wanted someone to catch them, his hands sliding further under her pants before he pushed one into her underwear. "So fucking wet, Zoe," he breathed, and she shivered, nodding. "for me, isn't it?"

She nodded again.

"Say it."

"I'm...wet for you, Levi."

Levi's fingers slipped into her, hiding his smile in her shoulder, "Tight too, aren't you baby? " He shifted back, hand slipping from her, turning her and pressing her against the wall. His eyes stayed on her as he dropped to a knee, tugging off her pants after her shoes, underwear moving with them. He hooked her leg over his shoulder, stalling with a couple kisses to her inner thigh, waiting for a little plea as he embellished on his last words, "aren't you?"

He got one, her voice warbling, "Please, Levi."

In the end, no one caught them.

Lucas didn't tell anyone who'd beaten him up, though he certainly didn't get near Zoe again, and even took a number of steps back when Levi passed, widening his distance from her. Levi almost managed a smirk, and Isabel and Farlan laughed out right, slapping high fives behind him, though Levi's hand was still bandaged, and the wounds on his back were healing slower than the bruise. He didn't show he was in any pain, mostly because he wasn't most of the time, and so he didn't come off as weak to his fellows.

Levi saw that Farlan and Isabel were going out to drink, gave his male friend a pointed stare as he stated 2 hours. Farlan repeated it, almost flushing, but didn't give Isabel the chance to ask, even as she whined, the taller boy pushing his friend down the hallway. He went and found Zoe, pouring over a book in her room, her roommates reading in bed, or not reading at all, Lei's face pressed against the pages, wide mouth open and drooling.

He leaned over her chair, eyes flickering over the book, frowning. "What the shit is that?"

"It's a book, Levi."

"On maneuvers? Fucking shit, Zoe," Levi said, reaching and snapping it shut.

She didn't meet his eyes, fist clenching before she said, "You lost my page, asshole. I have to study, Levi. I have tests, you realize. I can't just sit around, and fuck you." She opened the book, cut a glance back to him. "Besides, you can just go back to that brothel, can't you?"

Her voice was cold, something he'd never heard in it. He straightened, taking a step back, the awake roommate's eyes widening before he ducked behind his book. Levi narrowed his eyes, glaring at her, knowing it was his fault, but it was really hers for making him care about her. Shit, that was so backwards, even he realized the false argument.

He did; fuck, he did care about her, he didn't even know how to operate around feelings like this. When he tried drinking, he ended up telling her how he felt. Levi managed to shut them down, finally, as the weeks drawing to her graduation progressed. In all honesty, as he walked to Erwin's side, away from her, he wished she was with him.

But then she chose the Military Police. And he continued on with the Scout Regiment.

* * *

_You weren't perfect, but you made life worth it. Stick around, real feelings might surface._


	2. Flight of the Navigator

_Why don't you come here lil' darling and rest your head, and tell me every little thing that's on your mind? I can be heartless and cold, and sometimes I'm distant, but baby you know I got that other side. And I won't change, You can't change me, don't act confused, Or play stupid; I've told you this a million times (..) And, I've been thinking about the days when I'd come by, Knocking on your door for your company. (...) Them days when I'd tell lies, Playing with your hair through the summer breeze. (..) How clever was my disguise cause you fell for me. Them days when you'd come through, Never really thought that you'd ever run from me; never really thought you'd ever run from me-_

* * *

Promotion came quickly, and Zoe was only half sure the Captain was trying to get into her pants. She evaded him easily enough before he retired, walking through the streets, confined in the walls of Sina, very bored. Occasionally she was stopped by a wayward child, or a wall chauvinist, helping the former, and only the latter when she was in the mood to consider voluntary self harm.

Still, her promotion to Squad Leader came because she was smart, and reacted appropriately. And by appropriate reactions, she meant that she didn't really interrogate someone who was probably doing something illegal if they were apart of the merchant's guild. She visibly remembered being out for a late night patrol, and catching sight of the men in the torchlight, engaged in some shady deal, and she'd given them a little nod,continuing on her way.

So, it wasn't as if she was going to broadcast her current position. There wasn't any honor in it, and she wasn't looking to find any, staying with the flow of corruption, and there was a good amount of it. Central Military Police didn't answer to her Commander (Nile Dok), as she'd discovered, which seemed odd, but... She wasn't going to consider it, talk about it, just like her interaction with the merchants. Don't ask, don't tell. She was already on her way to the top, why stop only for morals?

At some point, they requested her specifically for their late night protection. First promotion there. Soon, she had her own squad, and she suited the command, surprisingly, because she'd never been entirely sure of herself, despite her ranking in the Cadet program. A month after that, she was given the detail to accompany the top brass of the Scout Regiment to the Capital. Apparently Erwin and Levi were on their way to the Capital to discuss the next expedition outside of the wall.

Mostly, it was Erwin, as he'd come up with the newest formation. Zoe set her hands behind her back, staring up at the sky as she plodded slowly over the bridge, watching a number of horses clop through the streets, a few new recruits catching the reigns when the riders dismounted. She didn't have clearance for a 3D maneuver device, so she was grounded for the time being.

She wasn't entirely sure if Levi was there, as she didn't care to be social at the increments that brought food, preferring to stay in her room. Someone usually knocked to bring her her food, and that knock came, five minutes late. Zoe stepped forward, opening the door as she stretched, eyes fluttering closed before she opened them to take in the person standing there.

Levi.

She smiled, asking, "You brought food, didn't you?"

He stepped forward, gripping her in the crook of her elbow, turning her. Levi's breath was hot over her neck, walking her forward, hands digging under her pants. The door snapped shut behind him, and she pushed against his weight, shuffling to turn in his arms, wrapping her arms tight behind his head, sliding a hand up into the black of his hair, bringing him down for a kiss.

A bit of ceremony would be nice, she thought. A hello; I haven't seen you in 4 months, are you still operating?

Something like that.

They remained that way for sometime, his hands roaming over her body, squeezing her tight against him as he did. She was on tiptoe the whole time, to get as close as he could, breath picking up even as she was robbed of it. Zoe hated how much she'd missed him, even as his nails dug into the side of her body, managing to make her feel it despite the presence of her shirt.

She bumped against the back of a table, breaking away to look at where she'd been, breath hitching again as Levi picked her up, setting her on the edge, his body moving between her legs. Zoe attempted to keep her legs together, but he pressed them apart, settling his hips between them. He gave her a brief look that said 'behave' in incredibly simple terms, before moving, his lips touching down over her neck, gentle for once. She just wanted to show some defiance, a hot coil of arousal spreading through her body when he displayed his quiet strength.

Zoe allowed him to pull her shirt off, his lips trailing down, hands almost too tight on her hips. His eyes flicked briefly up to her, watching her mouth tip open, head lolling back. She lost sight of him, hands fisted on the table, feeling his fingers hook in the edge of her loose pants, tugging down. She heard clothes hit the floor that weren't hers, and refocused on him.

He picked her up, making sure her legs were right around his waist, managing to look less slim shirtless, shoulders broad, muscles defined. Levi dropped her to the bed, pressing his body down over hers, lips deviating from hers again, touching little kisses that made her toes curl to her slight frame. Still, he hadn't said a single word to her, hands slipping up her back.

"Oh fuck, Levi," She gasped, trying to arch up under him, his lips touching over her breasts. "Fuck."

He moved lower, hands shifting to press between her legs. Two fingers pressed slowly into her, and Zoe sighed, knowing that she missed him far too much. Levi's tongue flicked over her clit, fingers disappearing, fitting his mouth to her. She jolted slightly, and Levi reached, holding her down.

She reached, winding her fingers through his hair, canting her hips up against his mouth. It took him a minute to get adjusted, remembering precisely where she liked it, her legs shifted over his shoulders. Zoe's mouth dropped, and she let a little sob shudder through her, squeezing her eyes shut. His tongue flicked over her clit, latching there, two fingers working fast in and out of her.

Zoe tried to hold back, a tad embarrassed that he could get an orgasm out of her so quickly. Her body spasmed, hand clenching in his hair hard enough to get a noise of pain, her thighs locking down around his head. She was worried afterwards that she might've actually hurt him, but he leveled his gaze with hers. He was fine; well enough to give her that petulant look he had mastered.

"Are you trying to kill me?" He asked, passing the back of his hand over his wet mouth.

She moved slow, feeling wrung out as she attempted an apology she didn't mean, "I couldn't help it, Levi, I...I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

She shook her head no, and he tipped his head in a quiet response, seeming bemused with that response. He eased back, turning her around, Zoe almost dropping to the bed beneath her, burying her head in the crook of her arm, his hands the only thing to hold her up. Zoe felt him nudge at her entrance, and he kicked her legs apart a bit more, pressing a hand down her back, arching her ass up. He surged home, bottoming out quickly inside of her, and Zoe was pushed up the bed, gasping in pain, walls stretching around him. Levi set a hard pace, and she gripped at the sheets, his name falling in pieces from her lips.

Zoe felt another orgasm tear through her, making sure she didn't cave under him, wanting to make him feel as good as she was. They never made love; maybe once or twice, but mostly, it was fucking, a harsh term that appropriately defined the sex they had. Their mutual desire led to this, Levi moving steady between her legs, making her feel overwhelmingly good.

He bent his body over hers, slowing his hips, rolling them to her, kissing over her shoulder. Zoe raised her eyes, searching for him, candles lighting her room enough to properly shed light over his form. Levi's lips twitched up into something similar to a smile, before falling back into his customary slash. She kept her eyes on his, rocked slowly forward every time he pushed, coaxing her to respond to this new rhythm.

"Yes," she sighed, letting out a slow moan.

He nodded, pressing his damp forehead to her shoulder, losing some of the aggression he'd held since he'd made his way into the door.

"Miss me?" he murmured, voice low, almost silk in the darkness.

She hummed, tilting her head to try to follow that silk, "yea, yea, I missed you."

Zoe used to fight him with apathy, but she couldn't help being drawn to him by some mistake of her own that she knew she was going to regret. So she knew she was going to throw herself back into the mess Levi presented, because she wanted him; from day one, she'd entertained fantasies of him, all false and too pretty, which disappeared after she'd gotten him. She didn't need fantasies when she was with him.

She squeezed her eyes shut again, flying away at the seems, tensing hard under him, feeling him slam once, twice, into her. He stilled, and Zoe relaxed, catching her breath slowly, feeling him soften in her, falling on her side when he drew away. Levi tossed her a nightgown, pulling up underwear, silent as he watched her tug it on, moving back towards her.

Zoe didn't know what he would do, until he dropped onto the bed next to her, resting his back against the headboard. He reached, fingers dipping into the nearby candle, gray eyes flicking to her.

"Come here, yea?"

Zoe was almost too tired to move, but she did, hand reaching out to her bedside table, the rickety thing rocking as she patted around for a hair band, worried about her looks now. Levi let her rest back against his chest, warm fingers ghosting over her cheek once, before stilling. She breathed deep, touching along his arm till she came along a new scar, frowning slightly, turning to look up at him.

His face was shrouded by shadows, and she wasn't sure if she was meeting his eyes. "How did that happen?"

"It's none of your business, Zoe," he said, reply curt.

"Levi," she tried.

"I said it wasn't your business, yea? You shouldn't care about me, or scars that much. It's silly."

She knew his dislike of the Military troops, and maybe that sentiment was transferring to her. Zoe tucked her chin to her chest, shifting off him as best as she could, curling away from him, feeling suitably rebuffed, any lasting warmth leaving her. He made a little 'tsk' noise, and sighed heavily, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders; which it very well might be, but she'd turn him a cold shoulder if he was going to be an asshole.

Zoe's eyes drooped, and the candle light vanished, preluding her own darkness. Levi was warm. And she'd missed him well enough.

"How long are you staying?"

"A week. Erwin has a long time to deliberate."

"Oh."

"What, do you not want me here?" Levi gave an amused huff. "After I ate you out, and you almost choked me?"

She quieted. "You'll be sleeping in my room?"

"Yes, if that's 'kay with you," he said, yawning around okay, finally coming off as something human as fatigue took ahold of him. "It won't happen again; I was lured here, honestly."

"I didn't dangle a broom outside, Levi, what are you talking about, lured?"

"That wouldn't work."

"Yes it would've."

He shifted, and she sat up to let him lay next to her. Levi didn't respond, and she fell asleep, waking up to the sun. He was still next to her, Zoe turning to look over her shoulder, recalling the fact she hadn't seen him sleeping. His face was relaxed, the always present frown on his face gone, stretched out on her bed, snoozing quietly, a hand on her hip limp.

LEvi cracked an eye open slowly, eyes traveling over her. He shifted, standing up from the bed, looking at her as he dressed, tugging his jacket over his slim shoulders.

"come find me in the meeting room after dinner," he said, a hand running through his hair, pushing it from his face.

She nodded, looking away from him in once second, finding him close to her when she raised her gaze. Levi dipped in, kissing her with the normal amount of desire to hurt, and she returned that bite with as much enthusiasm as she could this early in the morning. His hands sifted through her hair, cupping the back of it, nipping lightly at her lip, skin breaking slightly when he pressed. He stepped back, blue-gray eyes on her.

"What?" she asked, wondering why he had to stare at her like that, with those eyes; she couldn't seem to push beyond vagueness when describing how his looks made her feel.

Levi's lips twisted down into a frown, obviously not happy to explain,"Aren't you going to come down with me? It's breakfast, and you're the one who "

"Oh. Oh, I didn't know you wanted that."

She shifted, tugging her sleepwear off her, turning to her uniform, watching his face sour a bit as he focused on the insignia. Zoe ignored him, walking to her door, stepping out. A new recruit halted, fist on his chest, the salute making Levi shake his head, walking close alongside her. Levi stayed close to her, even when he'd got food, directing her with light touches to her back, spotting Erwin, Hanji chattering away, stopping when she saw Levi.

He plopped down, arm over the back of his chair, crossing his leg over the other. In an instant, he seemed completely disinterested in her, scanning the room instead as he chewed his food.

"Levi, you look as angry as usual," Hanji said, adjusting her glasses.

Levi looked at Hanji, blinking before a very sour expression crossed his face, "What was that, four-eyes?"

"Insults this early in the morning? You really should talk to a military doctor; I actually have a temporary license in the area, that may or may not be undergoing investigation."

"Talking to you would only make me worse."

"Okay, how about a lover then?" Hanji asked, easing her glasses further up her nose as she cut her gaze to Zoe. Zoe attempted to focus harder on her food, pushing it around her dish.

Levi's eyebrow twitched before he growled, "Your shitty help won't do shit, shitty four-eyes." She really did appreciate his underground influenced vocabulary, and how awkwardly he tried to keep it in check in this setting. She'd heard far worse; almost stunningly so.

Erwin finished the argument by throwing away his breakfast, nodding towards Levi and Hanji as a signal for them to move out. Levi increased his pace of consumption, and Hanji didn't finish, throwing it in the bin so she could leave before Levi did. Zoe watched him stand up, striding fast down the lanes between tables, hands fisted at his side.

She started her patrolling again, preferring this to playing cards with the higher ups. Zoe wondered what Levi was doing here, why he'd come into her room, her consent apparently not mattering to him. Not that she would've said no, because he absolutely had her around his finger. Except for the fact she hadn't joined his troops, or Erwin's, to be correct.

Zoe saw a brief scuffle around noon, gripping the smaller child, pulling him back. She flicked her eyes to the oncoming merchant, the fine clothes he wore marking that he was definitely supposed to be behind wall Sina, in the almost decorative town. The child tried to scramble away, but she held on tighter, waiting for the paunchy man to thump towards her.

"Thank you," He said, face red, wheezing. "The kid- stole my sodding prize fruit."

Zoe almost rolled her eyes, thinking to let the child go, the man obviously tallying up his crime far higher than necessary. Still, she handed him over, watched him get dragged away by his ear, reminding her how she wasn't proud of her position in the slightest. As the sun started to set, she glanced to the ornate clock, recognizing the fact that she was going to be late to the map room.

She was fairly unsure as to where this had all started. One moment she'd been at the top of the class, the next Erwin had shoved Levi there for about the 6 months they had left. Their relationship had been centered around competition, and the first time they'd slept together had been a quick affair. He'd saved her when a malfunctioning 3D device had stopped her progress in a field test. This had been when the training still included the test that included Titans. Still, they were the first back, and as soon as she'd caught her breath, they'd...well, she hated to sum it up with 'we jumped on each other', but, they'd jumped on each other.

Zoe had allowed him to push her up against the wall, breathing heavily as he attempted breached her clothing, breaking away to kiss her randomly, lacking finesse, teeth clacking together. She'd threaded her hands in his hair, not cut as crisply it was now, still full, and a little overlong. What could she say; he'd saved her from a near death situation, so it was a reality check that erased those 'what if' inhibitions.

She breathed in, breathed out, stretching out her limbs, hearing some of her bones click against each other. Zoe resisted a yawn, shaking her head as she walked underneath an awning, curls bouncing against her cheek. The odd appointment she and Levi had agreed upon did weigh upon her mind, so she picked up a jog, gripping the strap over her chest to hold her rifle more securely to her back. A clarification as to what was going to happen would've been nice, because if her time chart told her anything, it was that there was a meeting going on.

She'd gotten a smirk from Levi when Zoe had probed for a bit more information. Honestly, she was beginning to believe that Levi had some sort of manual he pulled his various smirks out of, and she was going to be left to find that book and start a matching game. She pushed his generally unreadable moods to the side, turning left, then right, catching sight of the Military Office, gold laced insignia glinting in the dying sunlight.

Zoe stopped by the weapons store, her rifle squared away with a simple signature on her time out card, R in 'Roth' looking rather loopy; certainly more than she'd meant it to. The clerk barely glanced at it before he slapped his hand over the card, sliding it back under the metal grate, flicking a latch that sealed over the small face, metal wired screen. She stopped in front of her reflection on her way out, flipping her curls from her collar, attempting to look more presentable, shifting to view her frame, pressing down on imagined fat, recalling that with her exercise she shouldn't be so worried. But she was so critical of herself, and she didn't feel she could shrug it, pondering that issue as she scuffled down the corridor leading to Levi.

"You're late," Levi said as she stepped into the maproom, rows and rows of books and tactical diagrams lining the walls behind him. He tracked her as she attempted to flounce through the room. "Were you crushing a child's dream?"

"Why would I be doing that?" she asked, sighing heavily, stepping up to a shelf, reaching up to run her fingers over the spine of the strategiem books, history books mixed among the thick volumes.

"I just assume that's what Military Police do with their spare time."

"Coming from the person who attempted to create the church of cleanliness."

"I still accept donations, Zoe," he said, something like a smile passing over his lips. "Are you going to come over here now, or what?"

She didn't move from her space by the shelves tugged a slim book from the shelf, easing back onto the low table set into the corner. Her legs swung from the side, toe just managing to remain on the ground below her as she cracked open the book, finger tracking under the first line of text. Zoe did actually want to read this book, and it wasn't as if she consciously made to ignore him and his little huff of annoyance as she stayed where she was. He and his passive aggressive self could stay in front of the set up 3-d map, long slim fingers tapping a steady rhythm out.

"I thought there was a meeting in here," she said, careful not to focus on him now.

He shrugged, "A bit while back, Zoe, so it's fine."

"Why can't you come to me once in awhile?"

"I have already, Zoe."

"You're not now," she said, her little observation put in the sweetest tone she could muster, glancing up from her book to bat her eyelashes at him.

Zoe had to know he wanted her, so this little game they both played was a common one. She didn't look at him again until he was in front of her, her book held away carefully between his fingers, pulling it away from hers. He tossed it to the side, book lying open on the floor, and she made a start of an instinctive effort to rescue it, a knee lifting to rest on his chest, pushing him away even as he pulled her back in.

Levi made one of his quicker moves, forearm above her head now, hand to the side of her, with one of her bent knees awkwardly stationed on his chest, other leg at his hip. His eyebrows creased his forehead, and she attempted to curl up on herself, feeling her face heat up as she brought her hands close together, allowing her fingers to run nervously over the cuffs of her jacket. She didn't know why his presence did this to her routinely, especially when he looked annoyed. Zoe just felt like she was being scolded by some sort of peer, and she didn't handle criticism well.

"you make it so hard on yourself sometimes, Zoe," he murmured, hand raising to play with her curls, distracted next with letting his fingers trail over her jaw line. "with you and your cutsie curls, hmm?"

His thumb played over her slightly chapped lips, neglected by her out of sheer stubbornness to invest in some sort of gloss; but he still kissed her, hand dropping back down the table, forearm still stationed above her head. She squirmed where she sat, regretting her earlier movements, as a knee on his chest did make it very difficult to get precisely where she wanted to be.

"Why don't you just come with me to the Scout's headquarters?" he mumbled, breaking away from her for a brief moment. "Stay there with me. Where you belong, isn't it?"

"I can't; I mean, I'd like to, but…"

"But...what if I got you out of this bullshit, then?"

"How can you pull that off?"

"I have my ways; anything to have you walking around naked in my apartment again."

She groaned, more in annoyance, giving a little sigh, "That's barely an apartment, Levi."

"They bought us townhouses, now, yea? We dropped some of those ambitious fucking outposts, and now we've been upgraded in reference to housing.," he said, eyebrow crooking, holding eye contact for her reaction

"What, you want to test out your new bed?"

"What other shit is there to do? Shit else," he murmured, catching her lips in a hard kiss, arm going tight around her waist, holding her against him.

"...you're such a male."

She rolled her eyes away from him, got a slight chuckle from him, eyes meeting hers for the briefest moment before he leaned back in, lips grazing her neck instead. He shifted enough to allow her to adjust herself, knee slipping from his chest, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as his hands slid under her button down shirt for the briefest moment before he took them away to really deal with the issue of her clothes. Zoe herself was rather focused on his own clothing situation, but he continually drew her attention back to him, a few kisses that made her smile.

"What?" he asked, patting around for her hand, grasping her wrists as she shook her head no in response. "tell me, Zoe," he attempted, setting her wrists over her head, even as she laughed at him, hoping to keep her secrets to herself. "before I tie you up, hmm?"

"It felt good, is all."

"Yea?" he said, letting her wrists go, and she let her arms fall slack around the back of his neck.

His hands were at her belt, unbuckling it before he started working her pants and underwear off, getting them halfway down her thighs before he stopped, hand clapping to the stone work beside her head. Levi seemed to be experiencing some sort of intense pain, jaw clenched. His free hand traced swirls on her upper thigh as he considered something she couldn't readily assume, even as the pain, which she now thought was just sharp annoyance, melted from his face, passing finally as he sighed heavily.

"What?"

"Next time, don't wear any clothes," he said, stepping back slightly to yank her pants off one leg.

Zoe almost followed his harsh tug, slipping halfway off the small table he had her on, clinging to him, making a low noise of annoyance. "don't be stupid."

"Don't call me stupid."

He allowed her to get comfortable very slowly, Zoe set her one unclothed leg on his hip, and he slid his hand from her ankle, to her inner thigh, fingers stalling. She glared at him, bringing her hand up fast, the move usually quick enough to slide past the quick reflexes so she could get in a hard smack. Levi caught her wrist, of course, smug grin really needling her. His fingers finally dipped to her clit, thumb pressing soft against it.

Zoe smiled, eyes closing to focus on the feel, the rough pads of his fingers so familiar. That feature always did it for her, and Zoe held in the tiniest of moans, breath coming a bit faster as his fingers slipped into her. His upper body pressed close to hers as his fingers worked in and out of her, thumb moving steady over her clit. He curled his fingers up, catching against her g-spot, and she rolled her hips to push his fingers a bit deeper.

"I'd love to stand around and watch you cum around my fingers, Zoe, but there is another meeting in here soon."

Her eyes shot open, and she looked around, a little sluggish, managing, "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to ruin the mood."

"I hate you so much."

"I know," he responded, fingers slipping out of her. "But you're still going to fuck me, aren't you?"

"Out of the kindness of my heart."

She might've gotten a laugh out of anyone else, but this was Levi, who was very much a male, focusing on his dick now that their time had been cut short.

"We've got fifteen minutes."

"What?"

"See, this wouldn't have been an issue if you'd not worn any clothes," he said, final word coming out strained as he pushed into her, a breathless chuckle escaping him. "Fuck me, you're too fucking much. You're the only reason I thought I could deal with these capital visits."

She let his words plump up her ego, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist, encouraging him deeper; and Levi always knew how hold her, situating her perfectly on the small table. Still, she hated that he was wrapping this up to quickly, that he'd allowed them so little time. Zoe felt his lips again at her neck, voice too soft to catch, warm in his arms, hands clenching tight at her lower back as he fucked her harder.

The sharp sound of skin against skin filled the library, muffled by the books and still, hot air, slight groans he emitted intensely gratifying. His nails dug into her caramel skin, and she arched away from it, pressing her too warm skin to his, expecting him to be cool as marble as she hooked her ankles together behind his back. LEvi's hips snapped forward once, pushing deep enough to hit her spot, making her shout, body racked with shudders, stars floating in her vision. She heard him chuckle, knew he loved see her fall apart under him; but they didn't have that kind of time, and he picked up his fast pace again.

Zoe needed him to be as close as possible if she was going to orgasm, sweating as she worked her hips down in tandem with his thrusts. "Harder," she requested, tucking her chin to his shoulder. "Make me cum, Levi?" the command turned into something of a question, one of her hands sliding into his soft black hair, knowing she was picking up numerous bad habits again. "Please, please," her words slid to a low moan, a thrill of pleasure making her smile against his skin.

"What, you think I'm going to pass up the chance to feel you clenching around me?" he responded, his shift to a low, smug tone only slightly annoying, "You're so sweet to me, like I'd neglect your pretty little pussy, huh?"

She moaned in response to that, breath coming faster, seizing up to allow him full control, which he took in the next moment. Zoe quivered against him as gracefully as she could, cursing his name as she came around him, heels pressing hard to his lower back, keeping him seated deep inside of her. His head fell back as he came with her, as she imagined that she allowed some of his demons to fade away.

He leaned on her as they came down from their high, biceps trembling under his effort to keep himself up, her breath coming heavily. She let him kiss her, one of her hands slipping over his abdomen, touching over his muscled skin, his breathing expanding the area only slightly. Zoe was more than happy to stay where she was, tugging him back down when he pulled away.

"Five minutes to clean up," he murmured, stepping away from her, turning to pick up his discarded jacket, buttoning up his shirt.

She made a small noise, taking her shirt from him when he offered, collecting it back over her shoulders, pushing the buttons into place slowly, feeling a bit wrung out. Zoe used his shoulder to help her stand, tugging up her pants without really hitching them in place. She'd always hated finishing their sessions quickly, especially when the very real danger of getting caught was imminent. Still; fairly hot.

"So slow," he said, pushing her along by the nape of her ass.

"What are you going to do, throw me to the Titans?" she snapped, swatting his hand away.

Zoe didn't notice him dip, only felt her feet leave the floor, swept up quickly in his arms. She wanted to protest, but she couldn't move her mouth anymore, pressing herself close, letting him navigate as be, finding her bedroom. He let her go, kicking his boots off as she struggled with hers. Zoe slumped back as soon as they were off, stretching across the mattress, flinching from him as he moved. Levi sat close, clasping his hands together, leaning forward to rest his head on them.

Zoe reached, resting her hand on his shoulder, watching his jerking response, eyes cutting to her. She wondered what would've happened if nothing had happened almost 100 years ago. If they would've found each other, if his appearance from the underground would've been the same. Her family hadn't been much, simple farmers, really, as far a she could trace back. At the moment, her brother was running a successful one in between Wall Maria and Rose. And if they...it was wishful thinking.

Levi shifted, eyes on her. "I'm sorry," he said simply.

She pushed up on her elbow. "For what?"

"I'll," he paused, dipping to sit closer to her. "I'll kill them all one day," Zoe didn't need him to assign a name, "I swear."

Zoe didn't respond, just pressed her hand into his cropped hair, pulling him down. He fell asleep with her hands running through his hair, body heavy over hers, tangled slightly with her. His hand had moved to hers a moment or so before he slept, fingers locked with her own. She felt rather safe for once in her military career, not waking once during the night.

* * *

_,I think there's something for us, lying around as the world comes down. If you understand what I'm saying, you won't end up in the lost and found, nope. I don't know why but every time I see you dancing (I see you dancing), I'm tired of running tired of playing late romancing ( I don't want to), If we could be together would that make you happy?_

* * *

**\- weeks later -**

* * *

The Military Police office was surprisingly busy. And apparently, she was saddled with the boring task of signing off on squad permissions. Then with the annoying task of walking arrivals to the Inn, surprised when she saw Levi, sitting in the shadows, being his normal broody self, despite Hanji chattering away. He looked up, saw her, and stood without changing his expression, though Hanji's did, mouth open, obviously left alone to talk to herself.

Her superior attempted to catch her attention, but Levi glared, shoulders rolling back, fairly short next to the 5'11 male. But he was heralded as an incredibly gifted soldier, so the man backed down. Levi looked down to her, and his expression cleared. Zoe thought that he looked odd in his casual clothes, how he almost (almost) seemed relaxed. He only did this around his fellows in the Scout Regiment. For a small part.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, tipping his head a slight bit, jaw defined, collarbone standing out from the loose shirt he wore. No cravat, apparently.

"Merchants Association, and the Central government are organizing a celebration for the 100 years of peace marker. Well, the days leading up to it."

Levi's expression soured. "Who's participating in it? Are they shoving money down the fucking drain as usual?" His voice wasn't hushed, and a man close to them at the bar looked over, eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline, mouth gaping. "What about spending it on the people who can hardly find enough to eat down at Wall Maria?"

"Mostly the rich here in Sina, as well as a couple others from Rose. And they're mostly performers," Zoe said, carefully avoiding the next chunk he'd said.

He eyed her for a good stretch, silent, then shrugged. "Whatever." Levi took another beat.

"Do you want to walk around? Maybe?"

Levi glanced back to Hanji, then her. "I'd rather deal with you than shitty four-eyes."

How nice.

Zoe waited for him as he talked quickly to Hanji, walking out beside him, saw Levi relax, a hand passing from the base behind his neck, ruffling the dark hair in a slow movement. She wished he'd take her hand, but she was being silly, walking through the main street, staying on the side walk. Levi stopped as she did, looking up at the sign while she carried on into the book store.

The head proprietor's son gave her a large smile, halo of blond curls moving with him as he walked out from behind the checkout counter. Levi finally walked in, just as Devon wrapped her in a large hug, making her laugh, always surprised at how similar it was to her brother's. Devon stepped back, catching a glimpse of Levi, and Zoe turned just enough to catch the sneer that crawled over his face.

"So, is my brother's almanac good enough to be sold? Or?"

Devon tipped his head, raising his hand flat and moved it, as if to say so-so. "I mean, I have to check with the Central Government, and, their expert is harsh, you know? They barely let a thing through."

Zoe gave a small hum, considering the floor, then shrugging. "Still, do you have any new arrivals?"

"We've got new biographies. One off the person who invented the 3D movement device. Angel...I'm not too sure of his last name."

"Oh, oh; that sounds interesting," she said, smiling.

"Wanna come down to the cellar with me, just because you know I don't do dark well."

She laughed, catching another annoyed look from Levi, gazing up at the ceiling as if it were going to reveal all of his questions.

"How about I do that?" Levi asked. "I know for a fact she doesn't operate in darkness well either."

"Well, I-"

"It's decided, yea? Let's go." Levi looked at her before he walked away. "Stay here."

She glared, annoyed with this, as she quite liked the cold cellar with the nice book smell; and she'd stuck Devon with her passive aggressive companion. Levi and Devon came up soon, Devon looking much less uncomfortable when he saw her again, and Levi held up a thick volume. He set it on the counter, and Devon's brow furrowed, tugging close despite his expression, eyes drifting to her again.

"You're not staying longer?"

Zoe gave him another smile,"I am, yea, of course." Devon was the closest thing to a friend she'd ever had, maybe, from when she started in the Cadet program at 17, and throughout. Mostly because he'd read as many books as she did, and gave discounts.

Devon stepped back, and rounded the counter, walking among the bookshelves with her. LEvi's eyebrows were twisted up, his lip curled from his teeth, standing next to the counter, visible from every location with the layout. For a minute, Devon disappeared from her side to greet the person who'd came in, and Levi appeared almost out of nowhere, his hand, more like his thumb, tracing down her spine.

"He likes you," Levi murmured.

"Yea, and?"

Levi was silent, then said, "he shouldn't be staring at you. It's unprofessional."

She gave a short hum, pulling her waves away from her face before she reached for a book, tugging it out of the shelf. Zoe flipped slow through the pages, while Levi hovered over her, blocking her light. When she told him this, he scoffed, but made the adjustment, leaning against the space in the wall as best he could, eventually tipping forward again, and standing next to her.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"Just fairytales, really," she murmured, glancing up to him, catching a brief flare of confusion. "Do you know any of them?"

She flipped back to the table of contents, watched his eyes trail over the page, resulting in a shake of his head. His hair tickled her forehead, close enough for her to just tip and kiss him. Zoe's gaze aligned with his, and she wondered if she should kiss him, his hand shifting up, tugging a corkscrew of a curl. He guided it next over her neck, lips twisting down.

"What happened to that necklace you had?"

Zoe was surprised he remembered it. "It's broken, and I need a new chain. And being a Military Police doesn't do much help to money situations. So, it's back in my room at the moment."

He nodded, and she smiled, glancing once around, before leaning up on her toes and kissing him. Zoe shut the book of fables when she pulled away, turning it to see the price, already knowing the biography price. Fair enough, but it'd take a large chunk out of her savings for a silk set of pajamas. But she had some otherwise, so it wouldn't matter, entirely, and books were better than silk in the end.

Levi followed after her, hand lingering on her back. Zoe waved Devon goodbye as she slipped her books into her satchel, hesitating a moment before taking off her jacket, stuffing it there as well.

"Do you mind going back to my room for a second? I'd like to change," she said, halting outside the bookstore.

Levi shrugged. "As long as it's quick."

She was quick, walking out into the warm afternoon, again in a fairly short light blue dress, arms bare. Levi's eyes dropped slowly down her frame, then reached out, and took her now empty satchel, slinging it over to his shoulder. Zoe brought him to the already bustling festival area, vendors, many of whose permit sheets she'd signed were set up in a wide ring around the large air was slightly cooler because of it, and children splashed in it, no one really seeming to have the heart to tell them off.

Zoe caught sight of dogs, and smiled, tugging Levi's attention away from the knives to point at them. "Aren't they cute? We had a lot of dogs on the farm, but none of them were that cute, and I'm pretty sure those are bred, right?"

Levi shrugged, "I'm not a fan of dogs."

She looked at him, face falling in a deadpan similar to his. "Really?"

"All the dogs who've interacted with me have been in some stage of attack."

"Okay, but these are puppies," she said, tugging him by his sleeve.

"Dogs are just overlarge rats," Levi muttered, but allowed himself to be pulled into the throng of children.

Zoe was offered a dog by the vendor, along with a huge smile, very different from the annoyed look he was giving to the children. The dog wiggled in her arms, panting, its pink tongue lolling out, very excited. It licked her face, and its tail began wagging. Levi didn't look amused in the slightest, frowning at the dog, the expression deepening when Zoe tried to get him to touch the dog.

Eventually he reached and patted the dog woodenly. Levi finally gave a sigh, and his pats turned into strokes down the black furred dog's back, the animal's mouth wide in something close to a smile.

"I bet I could train him," Levi said, a short huff expelling from his lips. "Sit, chase something. Kill."

"Levi, it's just a dog. No reason to turn it into a killer."

"And, fuck off, I'd teach him that as well."

A mother glared at him, and Levi looked away from her. Zoe set the dog back in among its littermates, standing, Levi's hand catching hers as soon as she did, pulling her like she had him over to the knife table. He ignored the vendor as the man tried to make recommendations, bring his attention to the flashy, gem studded knives, the metal a bright silver, much more appealing to the eye of the Lords and Ladies who came over.

The vendor was distracted by the rich people, and Levi looked a bit happier. He picked up an astoundingly simple knife, tapping his pinky briefly to the edge, giving a nod as he saw the little bead of blood.

"This," he said, "is good steel. So hard to find these, usually, dunno why. You'd see a Lord shitting before you did."

She rolled her eyes, and Levi set the knife back in place, catching her expression, another short huff displaying his amusement. He allowed her to steer him through, her arms wrapped around one of his, stopped once or twice by a vendor with more feminine products, appealing to her gender as they tried to get her to join the already crowded perfume booth. Then the one with soaps, who called to Levi instead, using the route of, 'buy this for your girlfriend'. Zoe actually did veer off there, as her soap was running low.

Levi opened her bag for her, and she plopped the molded bars there, offering to take it back from him, but he refused. She found an open spot at a close by restaurant, sitting first, as Levi had told her he had to go buy something himself. Zoe waited till he was gone, then went back to the knife booth, and bought the one he'd been scoping out, the price low, due to it's lack of gems and other flashy embellishments. He returned presently, slinging the satchel off his shoulder, dropping it over the chair, settling in the shade.

By the time they left, it was evening, stars out and bright, large moon providing enough light, though the torches were out, the streets a bit clearer now, and more adults were up and about. A tavern, popular among Military Police, was loud enough to hear a street over. Others were as loud as well, and she asked him if he wanted to go in. Levi shook his head no, and she fell silent, walking at his side.

His hand slipped down, fingers sliding slow through hers. He held her there, seeming to be wandering aimlessly, but he stopped suddenly, looking up. Levi pulled her after him as they walked up flights of stairs, the bell tower providing a vantage point, fairly high up, bigger than the ones placed in Maria and Rose. Her hand was suddenly empty, Levi sliding down to the ground, back against the wall, her satchel open.

He passed her a still cold drink, and Zoe sunk down next to him, legs out. Her eyes went to the stars, and she gave a small smile, letting Levi place his head again on her legs. They talked for sometime, Levi catching her up on what he'd been doing, the training as well. Levi tipped his head, reaching, tapping her chin to him, leaning up, hand sliding slow over the back of her neck as he kissed her, the action an answer to her 'are you alright?'.

"Of course. Don't worry."

But he'd changed. He wasn't as cocky anymore, a bit more reserved, even. Humble, if she said so herself.

"Okay, if you say so."

"what?"

"You seem like you've changed."

Levi remained taciturn, raising his hand to point over her shoulder, face blank as he spoke, "Look, it's a snake."

Her whole body shivered, and Zoe froze up, moving slow to look over her shoulder, eyes snapping shut, expecting to see a snake. She opened one eye slowly, cracked only slightly, squeaking in preparation as well, well prepared to hurl herself over the clock tower wall, knowing she'd be able to catch herself. Zoe had faced down her instructor during training one time, and he was far, far more terrifying than a snake, visually, and skill wise. But there was something about snakes that went further than fear of a skin injury, or pain.

but there was no snake, and he was just being Levi. "Moron," she sighed, settling back against the brick wall. "You're the worst."

"You have to stop being afraid of those things. They're not a serious threat, y'know. Our reality is so shitty..." He trailed off, pressing his cheek against her thigh again, and she let the silence remain, comfortable in it.

Levi stood when she yawned, and they walked back to her bedroom. Though he slept next to her, she didn't wake up to him, and her heart gave a jerk, walking to the satchel he'd discarded, close to the desk.

She was surprised to see her locket, restrung with a odd looking chain, Levi's scribbles on a piece of paper reading,_ 'I'm still poor as shit, and quite frankly, you can wait till some holiday, or your birthday for a prettier item. And I don't even think you like gold, and that's all they had there, and all the silver chains were terrible, and I know your skin reacts badly to that, and please don't tell me that this was a run on sentence if you see me. You're a bookworm, Zoe, and I hope that's an insult.'_ It wasn't. Not in the slightest._ 'That leather isn't going to break unless you really fuck up, and it's woven, so, it's girly enough, right? Whatever shit you like, I left the name of the people I bought it from, so if you don't like it, you can at least have money off me. Also, took your story book, and the knife you bought me, because you're not remotely sneaky, just be happy you've got your looks and abilities, because there is no way you could be a successful thief.' _she rolled her eyes, wondering how he could volley that many insults in the paragraph he'd written. His name was sloppily signed, like he'd been rushed. As well as a postscript that he'd return her book.

* * *

_I feel the morning coming over, but if you stay you can leave with me. I'll tell you everything I know...Nowhere left to be. Rain is falling in the corner, above the boys and the moonlit mask. Just be a shoulder for my head; All I ever ask._


	3. No Exit

_Life's the biggest troll, but the joke is on us; yea, the joke is you showed up_.

* * *

A scout expedition had set out from Wall Maria, but she didn't know who was included. It'd been about 100 years before anything happened, and this expedition was a marker. Wasn't it?

With permission to use a 3D device, she brought a squad of military police out of the Sina district for once, making sure it was on the day the Scouts were supposed to come back. It was also to check on the numerous merchants who squawked about not having a secure transport of goods back to Wall Rose from their position in the 'dirty peasant region' of Maria.

Whenever she had to deal with the Merchant guild, she felt...icky, as if some cloying guilt was settling within her, that couldn't be scrubbed away by something as simple as a bath. And to hear some of them talk about their consumers like that made her lose faith in the idea that most of humanity deserved saving, or protection. But as a Squad Leader in the Military Police, she was hardly the one to poke at the 'system' without fear of hurting herself.

Her squad of 15 fanned out behind her, and she sent the majority, leaving 3 with her, ahead to herald a large convoy of merchants, veering off, spurring her horse into a canter. The Trost district had a direct line to another out post along Wall Maria. She stopped, getting herself up to the top of the wall, watching the Scouts plod back. The murmurs of the villagers reached her, and she shook her head, eyes flickering over the indistinct shapes. Zoe looked away, to the Titans moving slowly, banging on the wall to no avail.

She gave a slight shudder, watching them. She honestly didn't understand why she felt this kind of fear when she looked at them, knowing others felt the degree she did as well, but she wanted the cutting gaze Levi leveled at them, even if they didn't understand.

"Ah, man; I don't understand why they don't just cut the Survey Corp's budget more," One of her subordinates whined, crouched next to her, the rest of her troops standing, but the red head usually did things his way.

"Crackpots," Akane said, eyes focused on the redhead, flickering over him as she waited for him to respond. Zoe thought it was something close to desperation.

The redhead(Nathan) did, grass green eyes slipping down the brown haired girl's frame before he shrugged, "Didn't really need that input; I think they're an okay organization, but they piss me off so much with their failures, that's all."

Akane tried to recover, but ended up staring down at her feet, then back down at the Titans. Zoe was sure Nathan knew how the girl felt about him, and chose to rebuff her as such. Zoe didn't really care, and she stepped back off the wall, plummeting before she employed the use of her device, a bit rusty at first, but she got a handle on it after a second.

Zoe dropped back onto her horse, catching her remaining three squad member's eyes, jerking her chin as she moved her horse into a brisk trot. She was at her brother's farm in 30 minutes, swinging off her horse. Her brother (appropriately twins, but they didn't look like it) waved, smile wide, still managing to pick her up, swinging her around with a loud laugh. You'd think the swords at her belt would put him off, but apparently no.

"That guy you picked up with; is he still around?"

Zoe wished her skin tone revealed a blush, and she shook her head. "Um, we...not really established."

"Well, I didn't like him."

They'd only been around her brother once, and it was for a weekend off. Levi had been arguing with Erwin, deciding to go with her instead. It was never fun if Levi was mad at Erwin, his passive aggressive attitude reaching new heights. And it was in front of her brother, leaving a terrible first impression, she was sure.

Unofficially, she was here for some face time with her nephew, letting Mya speak next to her, the pretty woman serenely oblivious to Zoe's lack of participation in the conversation. Still, Zoe had her duties in helping out the merchant who'd requested assistance in loading some of her twin brother's goods on various carts, Nathan's accompanying whistling as annoying as usual.

Vaguely, she heard the sound of cannon fire, glancing towards the direction it came from before she concentrated on her task, able to send off the merchants soon enough, no longer worried about the noise. They often did some sort of testing, or a drunken Garrison troop member would shoot down at a titan for fun. When the ground rumbled under her feet she turned to gaze at the area she assumed it was from, just in time to watch Wall Maria's destruction, stone from the wall flying into the air as an armored titan ripped through it.

Her mouth gaped, Zoe's world abruptly shrouded by black dots, nausea forcing her to bend over, trying to calm herself. She was a squad leader, what could she do, really, at this point? And she was miles away from the breach; but titans could be upon them soon enough, if the exterior wall was broken in. Which she could only assume had happened.

Two of her subordinates reeled, falling as they tried too quickly to get up on their horses. Nathan only sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, gazing up at the sky as he ground his teeth together audibly. Zoe tried to gather herself enough to give orders, recalling reports that'd claimed repeatedly she had no leadership skills, clenching her hands into fists as her brother's panicked questions reached her ears.

Zoe collected her small group of soldiers, barking out her command to the three of them, "Get my brother, his wife, son; get them back inside Wall Rose; Past Sina. Alert the Commander as soon as possible, and try and alert other people you pass."

"Squad leader," Akane tried, "I don't-we don't have room for three other people on these horses, we'd move far too slowly, and-"

"Take my horse, then, I don't care."

"You- on foot-"

She shoved Akane forward, watching her squad scramble to collect themselves, except Nathan who had his shit firmly together, her brother motioning towards her so she'd follow him into the house. Zoe hid her panic as well as she could, jogging up the steps of her childhood home, peaking into the picture perfect little kitchen. Instinctively, she checked the volume of her movements, walking fast on tip-toe.

"You have to hurry, Jaz," she said, peeking into his room, watching him as he stuffed silly mementoes into a bag. "Leave it behind, we have to get going."

Jaz gave a short bark of laughter, hands shaking as he snatched a portrait off the wall. "I know, I know, it's just this-you have to understand, I value the past, I really do, Zoe. Sis, you might live in the present," Jaz fished around in a jewelry box for a moment, taking out an pendant her mother had always worn, "but I don't; and I don't want to lose everything."

Zoe stomped into the room, yanking him back towards the door, even as her brother held stubbornly firm. Still, she was the one with military training, and despite the farm work her brother preformed daily, the workout regime she hated payed off as she finally moved her brother out of his room. Mya ran down the corridor to them, gathering her husband to her side, a box of old silver in Mya's arms. The woman was oddly quiet, concentrated on herding Zoe's twin out the door of their house; Mya had left her child with Akane.

Her squad members got them on horse back, any belongings her brother had salvaged in the saddle bags. When they were gone, Zoe started sprinting towards the fray, weighed down by her gear, the sparse trees not leaving much for maneuvering. Her steadily growing distance from Wall Rose made her head spin, and she watched the boats full of refugees move in the opposite than she was going in.

What was she doing? Fuck, she'd gone fucking crazy, thinking that she could meet up with some of the other military personnel, maybe coordinate the Garrison troops. Or was it instead some kind of attempt to be the hero? It was.

So she turned around, throwing that idea to hell, doing exactly what the Military Police had taught her to; run from her immediate problems.

Titans were beginning to pour from the hole in Wall Maria when she looked back, and she stumbled, falling on her ass, staring at them, terror forcing her heart rate up. People from other pockets in Wall Maria were running, screams attracting titans further into their territory. A variant blazed past her and other small groups of people, hand outstretched, focused on a large group of people, collected in fast moving carts.

She cursed, breaking off from her bee-line to Wall Rose, heading towards the variant, putting some speed behind her. Her anchor shot out, to its shoulders and she flew forward, up, twisting in the air, slicing precisely where she'd been trained to do; and it was a lucky fucking thing too, not exactly skill. The Titan pitched forward, just missing the large group of people.

Her ankle twisted as she landed, a full fall almost, no trees around to slow her descent, and she stuck her hand out to break her fall, wrist bending awkwardly, sending pain up her arm. Citizens continued to run past her helter skelter, and someone's boot connected with her shin, sending her to the ground, dazed. Someone tripped over her, heel knocking against her head, causing her to pass out, waking up presently to numerous titans a mile off, moving slowly, picking off a number of people as they did.

Zoe shifted to her feet, world spinning in an instant, sending her to her ass again. Something grabbed her arm, and she squeezed her eyes shut, resigned to her fate, before a familiar voice cursed, "Are you fucking serious? Shit, you're useless," Levi manhandled her onto the back of his saddle, wheeling his horse in the correct direction. "Hold on."

A titan swiped for them, and Levi ducked, watching it get distracted by a number of Scout Regiment troops, more within view in the infested area, helping who they could. Zoe noticed their proximity to the wall, watched the troops cut down the titan, shifting back to Wall Rose, not making an effort for titans a hop further from it. Levi steered them into Wall Rose, the swarms of refugees splitting in the way of his horse.

Her vision swam, and her grip on his waist grew slack. His hand slapped tight over hers, holding her still as he lead the horse further, making it to the emergency medical area. As soon as the military police saw them, the gate began to open, just enough for Levi to spur his horse on through. He jumped off, catching her as she slid, his angry gaze was swallowed by darkness.

_"That day, humanity remembered what it was like to live in fear, trapped within a cage."_

* * *

_They godless, denied us; but we don't give a damn about the next day, We were never here, never know if the world change. Common sense, the consequences (..). Slaves to the unnamed, never live long. Live and die by the line, never know fear_

_Even I won't survive, is it unfair?_

* * *

Shouting arose from outside her door. Zoe shifted, her wrist still bandaged tight, the injuries to her head and feet apparently the easiest to clear up, despite their pain until a few days back. In those few days the government had been restless, struggling to find out what to do with the huge amount of new people in the smaller radius. Far smaller.

Levi strode in, arguing heatedly with the nurse in charge. Or, the nurse was arguing with him, and Levi sniped back, cutting her argument down as well he could with his weapons. He looked impossibly bored, unmoving except for shifts to better shake his head, roll his eyes. Zoe watched him, finally speaking up, telling the nurse she was fine.

The stout woman gave a short snort, sleep ringed eyes blazing before she turned, stamping out. Levi looked to her, chin tilting up and to the side, surveying her with a slight amount of less distaste that he'd leveled towards the nurse. Zoe smiled at him, and he gave a huff, walking in front of the window, watching the lack of traffic inside Wall Sina.

"Captain now?"

"Well, I have been successfully alive for about 3 years now. And the people who I saved from the one Titan are distant relatives to the King, so." She gave a tired smile. "Are you here to congratulate me?" Maybe ask him how he was in the right place at the right time.

He dipped, fast as he cupped her face, kissing her hard. Zoe was shunted to her feet, his hands shifting to her waist, holding her tight against him. She couldn't catch her breath, hands sliding through his hair, dragging along his scalp. Levi pressed her against a wall, his hands fumbling between them, and she held onto him, breathing harder, managing to get one leg out of her pants. Since the world was ending, though it wasn't a universal thought in all honesty because everything had died down, she supposed this was loving him as quickly possible. In a way. Very distant. And he'd hardly been close before this, but he was kissing her like earth was shaking under their feet. As if everything was falling apart in corporeal terms now.

Zoe let her head rest in the crook of his neck, unbandaged hand working into the back of his hair, whispering in his ear. About how much she missed this. How she loved how he filled her up, made her feel a little less broken; how she fucking hated feeling like that. Because he wasn't supposed to mean anything to her, knew she didn't mean much to him.

When he registered her bandaged hand again, he decided against the wall option, muttering, "you're always injured, it's like you're ridiculously-ridiculous-," he cut himself off, tugging his shirt from his frame, throwing it to the side as she sat back, "Zoe," his voice didn't have a bite to it like usual. "Zoe," he breathed, quiet, almost missed by her, but she went pliant, wondering why he wasn't looking away; not even a smirk, and he did that a ridiculously frequent amount (and it wasn't as annoying as she'd thought it would be). "I-" he started, he was concentrating on _her_, body shifting slow down, hand smoothing up her leg, all very...nice.

She gave a little shiver, not a common occurrence when he was pressed close like that, but he wasn't all tender touches, certainly not with the zeal he'd started with. His hum gave way to comfort, kisses following his hands, leaving goosebumps despite their warmth, a murmur in her ear encouraging this reaction, though she was focused on where his hands were and didn't comprehend it. Her hand flexed slow in his hair, arching under him to allow further access, though it was more to invite him. With him, she did get what she wanted, even if it was her manipulating his ego for the most part.

He took the invite, arm sliding under her, tipping her up for him, hand dipping quick between her legs, dealing with her still present pants, though she made sure to take that off herself. Zoe closed her eyes for a moment, grip slackening on him, felt the sheets were much better to tether herself, use this one hand to the fullest extent. She was always over conscious of herself, didn't matter where, usually, but with him, it did manage to dissolve away, mostly because he'd caught that tic in the beginning, told her she could relax. Which was very, very different from any of the other sexual encounters she'd taken part in; a nice difference. And Levi certainly hadn't curbed his manners in anyway.

"Such a good look," he mumbled, caught her attention again.

She stopped a smile, glanced away, "What?"

"You're flushing here," he let his lips indicate the area, just hovering over her to get a better reaction, she was sure, that smirk back on his lips for a quick instant, breaking the lack of facial expressions, "fuck, I guess you're cold too; or is it just me?"

That ego was going to-

"Oh, I hate you," she rushed out all in one breath, maneuvered herself on top of him, ignoring her wrist for just the instant.

"Do you?" he picked himself up just enough, hands right back on her, the effort to pin them down not counting for anything. "Do you really, Zoe?" He moved to press kisses down with every question, nails digging into the dip of her back, until she made another attempt, pressing her hand to his hard abdomen. Hoped it'd keep him down.

She shifted slow where she was, legs to either side of his hips, wondering if it was really working, but_ fuck him_ if it wasn't. She'd show him. Which was a common thought, really, and never played out properly. Except she had something of an upper hand here.

Zoe made to press him into her, watching him to catch a flicker of emotion, not that there was really much waiting because he reacted quickly to this. Another smirk curled his lips, but she didn't allow any penetration, shivering with the degree of warmth. His eyes flicked to hers, then back between them, allowing her to work her hips, though she wasn't good at pacing in any sense.

Levi's eyebrow ticked up for a beat, tonguing out to wet his lips, though, usually, they were disgustingly inviting. Some decency would be nice; a reminder that he wasn't noble born, above average looks given to the offspring due to their ability to pick a gorgeous wife. He was in the military, oddly youthful looking, except for the always present frown lines, and general coarse response, which might've not matched the external 'look' idea, but still.

He strained against her hand, but she dug her fingers into his skin, got a flicker of pain before he grunted, "Zoe, you're fucking-"

She arched back pushing hair over her ear as she did, rolling her hips down, needing a bit more friction, but this was for her own benefit, in the sense that she wanted to break Levi down. Just a bit. The thought passed easily when he overpowered her, wrist tight in his hand, the other in a safer place. His head pressed close to her collarbone, eyes between them, is slim hips rested between her legs.

"fuckin' unholy," he breathed, hand passing through his hair to press it back from his face, "going to drive me insane; you're so goddamn wet. And, shit, fuck this, come here." His breath exploded over her skin as he grasped her hips, cheeks tinted pink, kept her so close she could only feel him sliding into her, nails digging into his shoulder blades, marble skin nicked here and there. He wasn't a statue, and this was a reminder, that his marked skin couldn't be sanded away.

She shifted with him as he sat up, circling her arms around his neck, pressed close to him. He tucked his head in the crook of her neck, soft little moans she normally couldn't hear reaching her ears. Levi allowed her to set the pace, and he watched her, just managing to keep his eyes on her. His hands moved, strong at the small of her back.

His breath mingled with hers, and she held as tight to him as she could. Zoe lost herself in the feel of him, clutching at his shoulders, all of her kisses sloppy, pale against her light brown. Thoughts swam through her head, as addled as it was; she wanted normal. Normal with him, whatever that was, she just didn't want the Titans, she didn't want the cages dubbed walls, she wanted him, and fuck, she wanted a life. One where being born wasn't a death sentence.

Levi wasn't built to be normal, and he was too hard to read, she didn't know. Zoe held him tighter, shuddering as her orgasm slammed through her, his name shaking out from her lips, and she dug her face into the crook of his neck, desperate to forget everything. For a brief moment she did, toes curling up, her whole body a livewire, world narrowing to just them.

His hands clutched tight, bruising her skin where he gripped, voice cracking around a soft whisper of her name as he came. She didn't think about anyone but him, knowing he might be all she really had left, and she wasn't much, a broken doll. Levi didn't have the kind of patience she did, told her the second time they fucked that they weren't going to be anything but physical.

Her body served to tell him what she couldn't.

_I love you_, she repeated in her head, knowing Levi didn't want to hear it, but she repeated it over and over in her head for herself, no one else. Her hand fisted in the base of his hair, cropped like it was, and they stayed like that, his strong body holding her up, like it always did. She closed her eyes tight, trying to forget again but she couldn't.

Someone banged on the door, and Levi jerked, making a low, frustrated noise in his throat. "What?" he snapped, hand splayed on her back, holding her safe as he shifted slightly.

"Zoe, and I'm guessing Captain Levi, you need to be down in the main council chambers."

Levi made a annoyed noise, and she finally opened her eyes, easing back from him. He let her rise first, watching her move without much emotion. Then his lips tugged into a slight smirk, swatting her ass as he rose. Zoe glared, watching him get dressed as she did, trying to rearrange her hair, definitely able to term it as sex hair, the style influenced by Levi's finger

Her wrist refused to cooperate and she made a frustrated noise, feeling tears at her eyes. She'd been more emotional than usual with the Titans and she-. Levi's hands knocked hers away, standing behind her in the mirror. He fiddled with her hair, looking confused, the band twanging away, his face screwing up in a brief moment of emotion, glaring at her hair.

He walked to the band, collecting it and stomping back over to her. Zoe covered her mouth so he wouldn't see her laugh, happy when he succeeded. She turned, thinking he'd done the same, but he was still there, arms around her now, eyeing her closely. Levi finally leaned in, kissing her till she was breathless, and Zoe rocked up on her toes to get closer.

Her breath was a moan, and he smiled slightly even as his tongue pushed against hers. She grabbed onto his lapels, holding him down against her, satisfied as they stood there, kissing like there wasn't anything pressing happening, and she liked that she didn't have to care. At least, until he pulled away, opening the door, her lips a blaring sign that she'd been close to someone in a certain way that Nile was going to point out.

* * *

_-break-_

* * *

Levi grabbed her, turning her about, holding her wrists in his hands, stepping in. "You can't do anything."

"Yes I can," she tried to yank her hands back, but he resisted. "Don't tell me what I can, and can not do; with all the shit you've put me through, you don't have the right."

Zoe despised how happy he'd made her, thinking she didn't deserve that, that is was selfish. She pulled again, raising her knee to hit him somewhere but he pressed her hard against the wall. Levi murmured to her, obviously trying to calm her down, but she refused, breathing fast, but it didn't seem to stick. Her mind swam, and he grabbed her face instead, even attempted a brief slap, lips moving, but she couldn't hear him, feel him, the panic attack hitting her harder than ever, guilt clogging her throat.

His hand rested in hers, and he pulled her after him, though Zoe really didn't look up, just watched the stone under her shift to grass. When she looked up, she was looking at her brother. Levi crossed his arms over his chest, breathing quiet, resting against the nearby wall. Zoe reached, grasped her brothers hands in hers, recognized the difference in their skin tones, the brown darker than hers, from tending the farm himself.

"I could...get you out of this," she mumbled, hardly able to speak. "If I press, I know I could

"No," he mumbled, grasping her hands tighter, eyes dropping away from hers. "no."

Her mouth trembled, and tears spilled down her cheek, and she rested her head on their hands, legs bouncing wildly. She felt him pull her to him, clasping her in a bear hug she couldn't seem to perfect like him. Zoe buried her face in the wide expanse of his chest, smelling traces of spice on his shirt, knew it was from their farm, wondered why the breach occurred.

"Why not?" she asked, breathing through it now. "Why?"

"Because-you won't be able to, really; it's the government. And fucking hell, Zoe, I'm not of note, you know that. My farm is all I have to my name; our name. I'm expendable now, in a huge way, and it doesn't help that I've got debt and all that shit; I mean, I think the only reason I was kept out of debtors prison is you. And now that we've got our fate presented, we have to go along, or we look bad, and maybe it isn't crazy. Just; you can't do it. Gotta accept that you're not able to do something."

She knew it was true, her outburst at the meeting no doubt ending any chance to save her brother and his wife; his child, yes, but the adults, no. Jaz held her out at arms length, her twin so much taller than her, older looking, despite it all. Fraternal twins, her mother had claimed, griping about their differences, how Zoe got into so much more trouble than Jaz, how she couldn't seem to sit still, while her brother could be mistaken for a scarecrow, at points. It wouldn't do for a lady.

Her brother pushed her hair up into a proper pony tail, the fluffy curls always breaking free. She should get it cut, but she couldn't stomach it, because it was a reminder of home, despite how far removed from it she was. Zoe stepped in again, and hugged him tight, remaining with him throughout the night. Levi moved beside her, and her brother actually started to talk to him.

"I hear you're an up and comer."

Levi's eyebrow lifted slightly, "I suppose."

"humanity's greatest soldier, and all that."

"Hmm."

Zoe elbowed him, and he opened his mouth and said more than 'hmm', hoping he'd provide the conversation as she moved her family into her townhouse. Jaz and Levi carried the bags up, Mya trailing behind them as her nephew began to squirm in his mother's grip, reaching out to stroke the wall. Levi set the bags in her extra bedroom, though it wasn't much of one anymore, her books lining shelves all around the room, two padded chairs in front of a fireplace. Mya sat heavily in one of them, bouncing her child on her knee, an effort that made the boy gurgle in happiness.

"I'm going to get the mattress out of your storage room," Levi said, looking to her briefly for confirmation.

"I was going to give them my room, I can sleep on the rug here," Zoe responded.

Mya shook her head no as she spoke, "this is fine, we won't be here for long, if everything goes well. How did you ever afford this place?"

Zoe bit at her nails. "Merchant's Association."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I worked overnight for them." Meaning she accompanied them in their shady dealings so many times that she could afford a somewhat nice Capital local house outside of Military Police HQ. She'd been trying to rent it out, as she never seemed to get out of MP duties. There was no off season, even if her moral compass was skewed.

One of her superior had milked his position for all it was worth, and in the short space of a month, he was buying a large estate in the inner reaches of Wall Sina woodland. He often bragged about it, enough to make her stomach turn, especially when he suggested that she over tax civilians to get a bigger place; told any mid rank MP to do so. And most of them did, without a second thought.

Levi gave her a quick side-eye, grasping her elbow as he walked out of the study/bedroom, tugging her along with him. "Tell me you're not going to be like the rest, Zoe."

"I'm not, I swear-"

"You do?" he asked, cutting her off, the intensity he conveyed forcing a nervous swallow from Zoe.

"I do. I did a number of high-risk jobs, and this place was marked down anyways. Military Police benefits, I suppose."

"Vaguely corrupt."

"I know."

Levi sighed. "I wish you'd joined...you know what, the past is past."

After they delivered the thin mattress to Mya, they walked to the living room, saw Jaz standing in the middle.

"Swanky, little sis," Jaz said, hands on his hips as he turned under the chandelier. "phew; but you're so short, how can you light it?"

She smacked him, or at least tried to, her twin leaning away as soon as she moved. "I'm five feet, it's not that fucking short, god, you're the worst. And I'm your twin, how am I little in that sense?"

"I'm older by fifteen minutes so you lose."

"I don't lose anything, Jaz, you know that."

Zoe watched her brother essentially box Levi in on the couch, interrogating him. She watched, leaning against her brother, head tipped over on his shoulder, drooling, elbow wedged against his stomach. Jaz had his elbow against her as well, and the pain had probably woken her up. Levi was still awake, and she smiled at him, reaching for him.

He obliged, walking her through the darkness into her room, though she stopped to peer in at the study turned guest room. Her nephew was curled against her brother's wife, Mya, mouth open, making a noise that would one day reach his father's level of snoring. With that, Mya had decided to name after her brother, so Zoe was amused at the lack of originality.

She turned back to Levi, beginning to close the door to her bed room, asking in a hushed tone, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"four-eyes and eyebrows let me go for the night," he said, tugging his shirt off his slim frame, "so you kind of have to take me in. I don't cook for rent, either," he seemed very amused with himself, and his shitty jokes.

"Oh, and where's my book, moron?" She asked, knowing his coined term.

Levi visibly blanched, somehow getting paler, and she didn't get an answer. Seemed like he lost the mythology book.

He stuck by her side for the days she was with her brother and his family. Even if he wasn't wordy with these people like she was, he was here for her; or maybe he was making up for losing that book.

* * *

_'when I'm laughing, I'm satisfied; when I'm dying, I'm still alive, strange position. I'm in a good mood; so good I'mma kill that spider. kinda things that they told me, alone doesn't mean that you're lonely, alone means you finally get it, admit it.'_

* * *

Zoe watched the 250,000 humans walk. Her heart was in her throat, and she began pacing at her post on top of Wall Rose, hand dragging through her curly black hair. She dropped to a crouch, held her head in her hands, guilt thrumming through her, watching the fathers leave their children, the mothers as well, if they had any. Her brother turned, pointing up at her, so fucking cheery, and she couldn't handle it, struggling just to keep breathing. The gate of Trost district slammed shut and she watched them go, a few armed, useless deaths. Numerous Military police looked bored, walking along the top of the wall as soon as their jobs were done, a number of fat merchants shouting them down. Her position as Captain wasn't doing shit for her.

She was headed nowhere. Everything was broken. Her brother, the good son, the proper son, and she; Zoe supposed she'd been a heathen to her mother, a pariah, heretic.

So where the fuck was she going to go after all this bullshit had ended? Who was going to take her in after the Military Police had chewed her up, and shit her back out? She didn't even know if she wanted her nephew to know her, his aunt, afraid of disappointing him, like she'd disappointed everyone.

She got down on the ground as soon as she could, brushing people aside until she found a tiny back alley, tears blurring her vision. Zoe crumpled, palms flat on the ground in front of her, watching her tears hit her skin, crying muffled as tears leaked from her eyes. Tired of crying, she went with anger, cursing as she slapped at the wall, screaming at the brick and mortar in front of her. A silly little temper-tantrum that wasn't making her seem at all like an adult, at 23. That'd been her brother's age; and he'd had a kid, and a person who loved him.

Zoe was wasting her time, wasn't she? Especially with Levi.

She dragged herself up, 3D gear and all, walking slowly back to Wall Sina. People jostled her as she did, the number of people decreased, but movement, and proper placement was still important. A man stopped her, displaying his rank, blustering properly, asking her to walk beside his number of carts. She did, swords out and flashing in the darkness, torches bouncing off the silver, and she fancied they resembled stars.

No exit. No way outside the walls, just death, and she wondered. Wondered if humanity was going to get tired of living in cages, reminded 100 times over when almost none of the 250,000 came back, of the humility cast on all of them.

* * *

She didn't see Levi after that, knew he'd come back, but she couldn't seem to give a shit, set on wallowing in self-pity. Zoe became the same as everyone, sat inside, and played cards, and fucking embraced the corruption. Her superior finally got into her pants, pushing her over the table, and fucking her for about 5 minutes until he came. Thought he'd be better, but hell, it wasn't as if he could move her up on the ladder; he was stagnant, at her rank, and not much better. Honestly, she didn't feel anything anymore, as if she'd murdered her feelings, all of them falling from her like her curls had when she'd gotten her hair cut.

The 5 minute sessions continued, and she didn't care enough to end it, though he did fund her enough to buy the correct potion from the apothecary, this being a preventative measure against children. Nothing. Just learned how to make the man come without sticking his flimsy cock into her. Learned how to make the right noises so he'd come in his pants, and she learned not to laugh at him(. One day the five minute man choked on food, and died. Zoe was moved up a rank, and she didn't have to deal with the odd weekend affair. Another rank was practically handed to her after she quelled a riot in the underground with a very limited squad behind her, which proved her strategic prowess. She felt like the incident had been luck, unsure in her talents.

She was called down to the training yard one day, strolling past the sparring students, one immediately catching her eyes. The young woman didn't emote entirely, and she was quick, movements executed perfectly. Zoe asked the instructor her name, arms crossed over her chest, flicking her eyes up to the man. He responded immediately; Mikasa Ackerman, in the actual district that Wall Maria was broken into.

Zoe's eyebrows jumped briefly, and she turned, surveying the dirt field. She'd hardly held up under the stress of going through that titan incident, so for a person younger than her to pull that off was impressive. A blonde female stood away, lounging bored against a post, and when a male came up, tried to bring her in, she instantly dispatched him, coming alive just for a second. She asked the instructor her name; Annie. Nodding, she looked at the young man, sprawled on the ground, teeth almost bared. His messy brown hair was covered in dirt, and he spluttered to remove the gritty substance from his mouth.

He didn't stay down. Everytime the blonde dispatched him, he popped back up, and Zoe crossed her arms again, watching him. She brought her nail up to her mouth, biting it down to the quick, knowing the nervous tic was bad, certainly not giving to the air she was radiating; had been radiating. Zoe ran a hand through her short cropped hair, catching the eyes of a couple on looking students, knowing she had a reputation at the moment, as her and Nile had been the pioneers of starting the crack down on crime. Excluding the crime in the Underground, as no one messed with the people down there.

She handled the Military Police properly, or as well as she could, high up now, after 4 years. That kind of rise was noticed, and she smirked, sucking her teeth as she turned,taking the list from the instructor. 'Eren Yeager' was hovering around rank 9, and she pointed to the boy as she rested her thumb next to his name. The instructor nodded, and she watched him continue his falling, wooden knife following him.

Other representatives had taken to looking at the boy, laughing at him rather openly, talking to the aides at their sides. Zoe only had an instructor at hers, wishing she'd brought Jay along, desperate enough to even consider Nathan, or Nile.

"Excuse me; you notice everyone laughing at you, right? You're not going to stop?" she finally asked, thinking that it was sad that he continued to lose, with everyone making fun of him, her voice cutting through the noise. She spoke with a certain arrogance, bordering on offensive, brought by a lack of confidence in herself, used the bite in her words to mask her feeling of insecurity. That insecurity being in herself, and in her position.

The boy looked over his shoulder, wincing as he scrambled to his feet, raising a hand to rest on his chest. She waved her hand, cutting off his salute, frowning his way, the top rated female, Ackerman, her name prodding Zoe slightly, halting and gazing at her, a bit of aggression communicated.

"No," Yeager responded, looking a bit confused.

"You've lost. Move on, stay down," Zoe said, stubbing her toe into the dirt, watching the dust rise with interest so she wouldn't feel nervous in front of _teenagers_. "Aren't you a bit disheartened, with all of these people laughing at you?"

Eren looked around before he spoke, "No. And I'm not going to stay down, I know...I can get better, and I can- I'm not going to take it. I'm going to- I'll; I can beat her. If I keep trying, and I'm not going to sit here."

She nodded after a moment, vaguely that the kid had more confidence than she'd ever had in her life. "And do I get no ma'am? Nothing alluding to my rank?" Zoe asked these questions for show, making sure she impressed the rather important donors here.

He blanched, hand landing in a fist on his chest, "Ma'am."

Zoe tapped her finger on her lips, stopping herself just barely from chewing her nails. Her lip twitched, curling over her teeth instead, looking at all of them in distaste to mask her nerves, knowing the ones who strived for top 10 just wanted the security of being in wall Sina. It was a bit hypocritical, but she was quick to point out flaws, even if they resided in her. She shrugged, gave him a nod, and moved on. Keith had brought her in for a bit of judgement, as well as more funding to the Cadet program, and a few other officials milled around, one or two paunchy men there as well.

Her old training instructor stood on the sidelines, a couple of the extreme frown lines on his face clearing up, and she swore she saw a tear of pride. Would've been nice to see that instead of getting shouted at to do the maneuver again, telling her that asking for extra was the stupidest thing ever. It was, but in the long run, he'd selected her to train with the Scout Regiment, though the one time she'd gone outside the wall, her gear had malfunctioned. Which was fun.

Zoe walked out of the swath of students, swinging up onto horse back, hardly acknowledging the salutes, just focused on getting away. Keith was smiling, the huge difference between now and her training making her head spin. If he'd pulled out a number one supporter flag, she wouldn't be surprised; and she was so exhausted because of it, along with the fact that she had the other trainee areas to visit after this.

"And that, is my trainee, second in Command of the Military Police."

_oh god, don't broadcast it,_ she thought, cringing, wishing she didn't have all of that responsibility; and she was in a pool of 9 others who were 'second in command', because Nile hated work. She wished she'd stayed where she was, do what her mother had wanted, maybe had a life the dead woman would've been proud of. Something she could be proud of.

* * *

_844_

* * *

"_Eya, Zoe!" Lei bounced, and Zoe tried to make herself smaller, moving amongst the Cadets in an attempt to lose her. "I heard you got a really good score with that sewer rat. The one that beat the shit out of Lucas?" The pretty girl slithered closer. "Is it really bad working with him? I heard he has a temper. And a mouth." she gave a tiny giggle. "Micah said he made one of the girls in the brothel beg, so I guess he really is good in bed."_

_Zoe lifted her eyes, frowning, "What?"_

"_Basically, he's a damn good fuck," Lei gave a small smile, eyes narrowing briefly. "but you know that."_

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Yes you do. Wanna know why?" Lei almost skipped around her. "Because he's looking at you. And sadly, I can't seem to drop standards enough to sleep with him. You have to teach me your secrets." She held up a finger. "No, no, I understand, you were raised on a farm, so, I suppose you forgot about standards, and went with congenial instead. And we can all see through it, don't act like you're better than us."_

_Zoe looked over her shoulder, caught his gaze, the gauze on his hands making her heart jump. Levi's lip curled up, head dropping down, and she let her eyes do the same, looking back to the huge forest, trees sparser than the run she and LEvi had done, just due to the fact that all 39 Cadets from the southwest training area were present. Her Commander cleared his throat, and Lei gave her a little smile, standing close._

"_All of you will go at a time, numerous trainers are set throughout the woods, a hundred cutouts stationed in various positions. This is the last run through, and I will be taking notes."_

_Zoe wondered why Levi was there. Knew she should focus, and cleared it from her mind, waiting for the flare. It fired, and she lifted herself into the air, her small body easy to move, easy to employ all of the advanced maneuvers Levi had displayed. Ones that, when she tried them, didn't send her to the ground, or overtax her muscles._

_She spun in the air twice, line already detached, cutting a deep gouge in the area directed, shifting herself with a foot against a tree towards a close cut out, maintaining the speed, knowing it'd seem like she was going to hit the tree. Managing another deep cut, she redirected herself in an instant, putting her gas into use, rising briefly above the trees, eyes locking on another directly below her. She tipped herself into another dive, spinning once to reduce the downward motion, gouging neatly._

_A silver line marked her progress from tree to tree, barely stopping, zipping past some of her fellows, swinging herself out of their path as soon as she'd hit her mark. She cut her movements down, blades dropping from her handles, fresh ones appearing with a bare amount of effort. Zoe felt confident, like she had during her run with Levi, and now, she was back on top._

_One of the trainers was standing on a twisted root, protruding up from the ground, watching her, nodding just as she zipped past, whirled, and sliced, cutting deep. It was better than her last, so, at least that was good. For a brief moment, she attempted Levi's method of holding his blades, but she miffed that, and switched instantly. Zoe doubled back, vaulting over a branch, almost hanging, suspended before a silver line attached, and she shot forward, her attack correct this time. She wondered how Levi could do it, but then, he'd never tell her._

_When the comment sheets were posted in the evening, she ran to them, later in the evening, hope that the area would be vacated vanishing. But she recognized that slim build, the cropped hair, his sleeves rolled up and away from his hands, tall to her, really, though most of the men here varied between 5'8 and 6'3. Levi's long legs uncrossed, but not his arms, and he watched her walk towards him, rumpled button down incorrectly buttoned, oddly not in order._

"_Your buttons-" she attempted, as his hand shot out, hitting the wall behind her._

_He leaned in, breathing out slow, and she smelled the alcohol on his breath. "How about I read it to you?"_

"_What-"_

"_Your report," he was caging her in as he spoke, eyes half-lidded, brow clear despite it all. "I can't stop thinking about you," Levi finally closed the distance between them, one of the arms near her head, shifting, forearm on the wall now. "I can't sleep, and I can't fuck without seeming your pretty little face, or thinking about your pretty ass, about how you feel, and I hate it. It's annoying." One of his arms stabbed down, pressed under the band of her skirt, easily maneuvering under her panties, practiced fingers finding her. "I shouldn't be thinking about how you clench, " his forehead rested close to her, "like that, Zoe, around my fingers," he crooked his fingers up, heel of his hand catching against her clit, pressing hard, his breath harsh, "around my cock, and fuck-."_

_His words petered off, and his fingers picked up a pace. Zoe's hands slid round the back of his head, the buzzcut soft despite it all, soft moans barely held in, concerned someone would come around and see him-them. He was whispering something to her, but she couldn't really make it out, digging her face into his neck, his fingers slipping out of her to focus on her clit, working her into a quick orgasm._

_Zoe's nails dug into his skin, pressing her face into his shoulder, holding herself up as best she could. His fingers pressed briefly into her again, drawing her orgasm out, and she opened her mouth, breath shuddering. Levi's hand slipped from her, and Zoe eased back against the cool wall, allowing her mouth to part, his fingers to press in. He watched her intently, his fingers sliding out soon, a smirk twisting his lips, and he pressed his lips hard to hers, mouth parting as hers did._

_His tongue lashed against hers, his hand around the back of her head, thumb at her throat, kiss crossing quickly over rough, to brutal. Levi's thumb pressed down, robbing her of air that he was already taking from her in large amounts, his other arm tight around her waist. The arm dropped, and he dipped briefly to hitch her legs around his waist, hands dropping away once she was secure, sliding instead under her shirt, tugging just hard enough for the buttons to pop off. Which was sad, because she quite liked this shirt._

_He pulled away, his lips caressing soft over her collarbone, his hands roving, slow now. Zoe's attention to the idea that someone might see them was fading fast, Levi's warm hands coaxing it to the back of her mind. She was hoisted up a bit more, catching the way his eyes flickered over her, hungry, almost, and fuck that was working for her._

_His hand dropped from her, going to his crotch, adjusting himself. Levi's eyes were back on hers, noticing her looking, and his smirk was a bit too cocky, her hips in both of his hands as he moved her, skirt rumpled up around her lower stomach, settling himself directly between her legs. Her breath was shaky, trying to collect herself, feeling that she was a bit too pliant, wished for a say in how he was handling her._

_Not that he'd give her one._

_His hands moved faster, and his nails came into play, mouth hard on hers for a long while, kisses backed by the hands that kneaded at her breasts, then slow down to her ass, grinding against her. She felt the way she usually did with Levi, that she was just hanging on to her best ability, able to keep up to only an extent. But he liked that, Zoe thought, liked her semi-innocence, loved fucking her until she couldn't stand, feel her legs, knowing that he was the only one who could do that to her, or was at least one of the people. It was a lie she tried to keep up, just to keep his ego down._

_Levi was used to giving orders, or just having a handle on things in his life. She knew he wasn't going to stay in the Scout Regiment, him having told her his plan one night, her limp body close to his, wondering how he could operate after that. Of course, he liked that as well, when she was fucked out, told her what she looked like when he was fucking her mouth._

_Sometimes, his expression was unchanging, and a tiny little thrill would run through her, because she loved being under him as much as he liked her in that limp state. He'd prop his hand over the back of a chair, if he was in one, a hand on the back of her neck to set her pace, as if she was lucky to have him in her mouth. And she fucking loved that, she swore it was going trouble her one day, but for now; her hands tightened in his hair, mouth open, breath pushed out, the feel of hard length just enough, that if there was time, she could come from it._

_Had once. Zoe recalled the time, remembered the short laugh he'd given, asking her if she'd just came, even though he fucking knew the answer. The fucker just wanted to hear her say it. She had, and the next second she'd been manhandled onto her knees and out of her underwear. She'd put up a hand, a half-hearted attempt to slow him down, but his low voice was in her ear, body curved snug over her, "move that hand before I fucking break it."_

_She turned her head, pressed it into his throat, moaning low at the memory. Zoe would've protested as his hands fumbled with her underwear, managing to rip it, motor capabilities hindered by his fairly tipsy state, but didn't. All she did was just give a little shudder of anticipation, his fingers sliding brief over her, a noise from him as well, one that made her happy, mostly with the idea that he wanted her. Out of everyone._

"_So fucking wet for me," he murmured, "all for __**me**__." he spoke them slow, almost independent of each other. " Aren't you, Zoe?" Levi's thumb moved over her clit, eyes raising to hers, as if he needed to hear something he already knew. _

"_Yes," she nodded, tipping her head back, voice trembling when he pressed into her, "I'm yours."_

_For a time, he was gentle, holding her like he did that one time she'd almost gotten herself severely hurt, as if this would keep her together. Then she asked him to fuck her harder, and he'd chuckled, practically stopping, making sure she felt every inch of him. Her words took a drastic turn after a minute of this, blubbering into his skin, nails dragging against his scalp, dropping to drag as far under his shirt as she could, Levi pressing her hard against the wall._

_He stood there, let her plead with him until her voice broke off, and spoke instead, "You're number one in class rankings. For Cadets."_

_She whimpered, tipping her head, despite her body's trembling, trying to focus on the writing. _

_**1: Zoe Roth: Displays beyond proficient use of 3D movement gear, sword use, as well as physical ability and stamina. Her learning abilities match this, and with practice in the field, her stratagems could see this level. Though, she's not a team player(concerning her other Cadets), and struggles with leadership positions in a **__**large**__** way. Again, it may change, with use, but her trust in other's abilities is obviously lacking greatly, and interferes with her work. Her abilities cover this weakness, though only barely, and she can work with a singular partner, at, or above her level of skill.**_

"_Should I teach you how to be a leader?" he asked, teeth dragging slow over her throat. "Hmm?" he seemed to think otherwise, still not moving, and she fucking needed it. "No, I like you like this. Under me, Zoe, with that look you have. Pretty lips around me, or, fuck, that voice you have, fucking _wrecked,_ you little," he broke off, head tipped down, picking a pace that met her request, and she yanked on his hair, lacing her ankles behind him._

_The soft noises of the evening didn't to much to muffle their own. His hand sealed over her lips, and she shut her eyes, moaning unabashedly into his palm, knowing her back would at least be sore enough to match the bruises he was inflicting with his fingers at her waist, knew haze of pleasure could mask the power he really put behind his thrusts. His breath came sharp, enough for her to hear, and she focused on it, knowing she'd never get enough of them, or him, for that matter, so fucking close, fuck, he was going to kill her._

"_Now, Zoe," he managed, and she did, so impossibly good at following orders, especially from him, and __**especially**__ like this._

_His hips shuddered, that, at least, she noted,wrapping herself tight around him, almost knocking him off balance, but his hands were still on the wall, pinning her. She muffled her normal cry, curses hushed to a degree, sweaty skin sticking his, the buttons on his shirt somehow off. Zoe hadn't noticed, just happy to appreciate how warm he was, coming down slowly. He didn't usually breathe as heavy as he was, strong body suddenly trembling under the weight._

_At some point, the finally cold evening air made her shiver, and he moved, making a vague attempt to rebutton her shirt. She watched him, wishing he hadn't ruined her underwear either. His lips touched slow over her sternum, trading place for his head, and she wondered if that was some sort of payback for ruining her shirt and underwear. She'd prefer the actual items back, if he could manage it._

_I think I might love you, she thought, eyes on his, wondering if he could read her mind. Levi set her down, arranging himself, catching her before her sway turned into a full fall. Then he turned, and walked away, turning around the corner before the darkness swallowed him. ._

_Like he always did, words meaning nothing, apparently._

* * *

\- We should've talked if just to clear the space. But now we stare at each other, buryin' whatever feeling that was.


	4. Keep Your Heart

_baby girl, he's a loner. Late night organ donor, after that he disown ya. After that he's just hopeless, soul mates become soulless_

* * *

**(848)**

* * *

They fanned out, Nathan's red hair flashing with a burst of lightning, green cape with no insignia not doing anything to hide him. He tipped to look over his shoulder, and jerked on his reins, a short whistle alerting the Central Military Police. They turned, looked at them, and shrugged, the little wave making her and Nathan's mood sour, the rain already managing this.

Nathan pointed at her, and she shrugged, saw his snort of amusement because it was a mirror of the people who they were protecting. Despite the fact that, technically, she was ranked above them, and she should be the one making careless hand gestures. Zoe turned, set a leg up on saddle, wiping her eyes before squeezing the trigger.

A silver line shot out, and she jumped, wrist doing that annoying little painful shift, before it disappeared. She twisted, waiting for the 13meter to swipe before she jolted under the hand, line attacking to another tree for a brief enough moment so she was at the nape of it's neck. As the Titan fell, she spotted her horse, waiting patiently, and Zoe sprung again, knees bending as she landed, mud splashed up past her boots, swinging up quickly into her saddle, saddle wet now.

Great.

She came alongside Nathan again, the pattering of rain now interrupted by the hissing of water, as if came in contact with the Titan body. Zoe fucking hated these excursions outside Wall Rose, shrouded in secrecy, as well as generally making her men miserable; they always picked the rain to go out in. Her horse plodded forward, and they stopped, all of the Military Troops turning around.

Nathan's curse was muffled by the rain, and he sniffed, cheeks red, matching his hair. "I had a fucking date tonight," he snarled. "Guaranteed sex, and these," he muffled his large sneeze in his big hands. "Fucking shit, I'm gonna die, and not from the shitting Titans." He caught sight of a troop laughing, and Nathan jerked his horse out of the circular formation, hand smacking the blond boy out of his saddle. His horse reared up, and the blond cowered, hand up over his face.

"Nathan," She called, amused by him, "how about we leave the killing to the Titans?"

Nathan's horse tipped, hooves landing a centimeter away from the boy. He eased himself back in formation, and Zoe watched the younger man scrambled back into saddle, the cold rain hardly the effect to his pale face. They rested there for a good while, a couple men bounding off to relieve themselves, and she had to monitor them, set up times, apparently, because this was essentially day care.

Nathan bundled himself up further, hunkering down, grumbling to himself. With their place up in the mountains, they were able to observe, dangers aptly, and Zoe pointed the partners forward when a Titan got too close. One of them, the blond Nathan had terrified, miffed his attack, and his partner was batted away, thankfully reappearing uninjured, though Zoe was already moving, using a large amount of gas, dispatching the Titan with ease.

Nathan was after her, though her attack was correct, as she'd gotten exceedingly good at taking them down by herself. Variants were the only challenge, due to their...odd behavior, essentially, and she noticed they were a bit faster, usually, reflexes much better than the normal ones. Zoe dropped with the Titan, pointed at the blond, steam wafting from the blade. The young man tried to turn, but bumped of Nathan's chest, falling again on his ass.

"Hi," the red-head said, smile too cheery, and it didn't reach his eyes. He dipped suddenly, grabbed the blond's collar, and rattled him just as Zoe stopped next to him, patting him on the shoulder before she moved back to the circle, making sure the partner who'd gotten hurt was properly looked at.

Nathan returned as the Central Military Police did, the tunnel entrance sealed over again. The blond's face was puffy, an already blackened bruise sealing one of his eyes, and he limped next to Nathan. Her Captain patted the blond roughly on his back, sending him forward, where he slipped in the mud, eyes dull when he rose up on horseback.

"What rank was he?" she asked Nathan the next day, shuffling the cards for them.

"9th in class."

She scoffed, but fell silent, as was her usual state with her soldiers. Nathan won, per usual, and she read, turned away from them, hardly listening, conversation always escaping her. Zoe closed her book, and departed at night, her food brought to her room as usual. Nile popped in briefly, shoving the paperwork he was supposed to do to her already overflowing pile.

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

He held her away from the kitchen, arm over her stomach, grappling with her briefly, and Zoe pouted. But she couldn't cook, didn't matter how cute she got, he wasn't letting her near the area, face flat as he made an effort to find a viable excuse. Levi wasn't sure why he couldn't dredge up the guts to tell her the truth, maybe because she had so much pride in the lingering idea that she could cook.

"Go take a bath," he finally said, unwinding his arm from her, giving her a gentle push towards the bathroom. "yea? I'll call up the houselady, get you heated water, it should be fine."

She nodded, and he watched her go, shaking his head before he got that arranged. A couple of his fellow Scout REgiment men walked up the stairs, the large townhouse shared between the five of them. When they saw him, they turned back to their muddy boots, and took some time to wash them. Levi gave a short scoff of acknowledgement, just as Zoe stepped out of the bathroom, a robe around her, thankfully.

Zoe gave them a short wave, jogging to his side, waving him down to her level, "Where are the soaps?" she whispered, eyebrows screwing up, biting her lip, nervousness apparent with this tic.

"I've got it," he murmured, and she smiled.

Levi turned as she went, steps hurried, ducking her head, though no one was really there to make her feel uncomfortable, smile pulling at his lips before he remembered that they weren't alone. That face was the one he'd thought of through one of the worst expeditions he'd ever experienced, a new scar on his shoulder. She'd picked it out last night, as that's when they usually saw each other, if they were ever….

He shook his head, leaving the pot over the fire, walking to the cabinet, and rifling through the less feminine material, found the cloth he'd wrote her name on. Levi pulled the perfumed soap out, thinking that she'd smelled just like that last night as well, rolling his eyes as he did. Shit, he was trying to keep a hold on this, whatever it was, but really. He wasn't any good, was he?

And as he opened the door, saw her turn, look over her shoulder, he felt an inexplicable rush of fear. That one day he wouldn't get to see her, something, or that he'd fuck this up, because he was fucking good at that. The idea that she'd die made it spike, that fear, and he turned quickly away, unable to make her understand. No, no, not really, he just didn't want to open himself up, hope she'd understand in that little way she managed.

"She's cute," One of them said, as Levi returned from the bathroom.

Levi didn't respond, just continued to cook, but they carried the conversation on without him.

"Haven't we seen her?"

"Oh, oh, Mason," Geo snapped his fingers, pointing at the man. "This has to be the one who wakes us up at night when the bell goes."

Mason chuckled, "And otherwise."

"No, the thing is," Moss held up a finger. "I thought she was homely, or something, and that's why you didn't have her here in the day time."

"I thought he interchanged them, I was tallying this up to him being, like, humanity's greatest...homewrecker," Mason gesture, shrugging.

"Nah, ladies man," Geo said.

Moss waved a spread hand at Geo. "Well said."

"Thank you."

"But," Roy added himself in, choppy way of speaking indicating his heritage. "s'not as if she fucks about elsewhere, know what ah'm sayin'?"

"Are you talking about her only coming at night?" Mason said, and Roy pointed, clapping his hands briefly. "Yes, that is another addition, my uneducated friend."

Moss frowned, and Mason held up his hands, cutting himself off as Moss said, "So, maybe, he is humanity's greatest homewrecker."

Murmurs of agreement went around, and Geo sat forward, "No, no, I don't think so. There's, like, no guilt there, so, let's go for…" Geo pursed his lips.

"Girlfriend, "Roy said.

Mason's eyes almost popped out of his head, "Are you serious?" Everyone's attention was on Levi, and he didn't respond. "Oh my- holy shit, he's even more domestic than we thought."

"I always thought he was, I dunno," Moss waved his hand again, pointing at Geo, "a, ah, mistress; dunno the male version that. A ladies man."

"Well, man, the only advice I can give you," Geo leaned back on his chair, steepling his hands, lording over the group as the one who usually found a girl when they were given down time, "better watch these girls; smart now, especially the cute ones. Keep those feelings locked down."

Respectful nods went around, and Roy went as far as writing it down.

Levi nodded, "I know." Everyone was quiet, the light nature of conversation ending with his words, the sincerity in them.

He set the spoon down, walked into the bathroom. Zoe shifted, pretty brown eyes opening to take him in, and he dipped, let her warm, wet hand trace over his cheek, taking her in, memorizing her face. She always changed in the tiniest ways, a new freckle there, standing out, darker than her skin tone, that little dip in her lip always there, but the acne scars changed, he noted.

Levi went through all that he'd said, the stupid things back in training that had driven a rift between them. He couldn't remember some of the things, but he'd rebuffed her continually. And he couldn't get a handle on her now, because she was changing in a different way, and didn't stay long enough for him to memorize that. Zoe was more reserved, and she didn't laugh as much as she did. A bit more skittish, as well, but…he wasn't going to ask her why. Kept his feelings to himself, because he was good at that, at least.

"What?" she finally asked.

"Do you want to eat?"

She nodded, and he stood, walking out of the door. "Levi, where are you-" the door closed, Levi pointing at the five men, and then the door.

Complaints arose, but he continued this motion, not in the mood to deal with anyone besides Zoe. They eventually went as Roy suggested the neighbors, who were Scout Regiment troops as well, adding in the point about not cleaning, and the bonus of cards. There was a mass exodus, and Levi's sigh was the loudest thing left.

He tugged off his apron as he went, taking a second to fold it, opening the door to her. "They're gone," he said, and she smiled.

She made to rise, and he didn't turn. "Levi," she tried that stern tone which really lacked any effect. "Turn."

Levi leaned against the doorframe, looked to the cracked open window, heard the carts, few and far between now. She stood finally, walked past him, and he kept his eyes on her, catching her waist, though she was trying to walk past him, a robe now on. He ran his thumb over her hair, the buzzcut area dramatically different than the other side, though it barely made it over her ear.

There was a heavy knock, and she twitched, frowning. "Is that-?"

Another heavy knock, along with a shout, "Zoe, it's Sjeh."

"What?" Levi asked, but Zoe had her hands on his abdomen, shoving him back into his bedroom. "What-?"

"She's the top medical in the walls, Levi, and I'm technically not supposed to be here with you."

He caught her arm, "What?"

"No, that last part is a lie, she just does not like you," Zoe said, unable to even stick to that small lie.

Levi considered this, then shrugged, feeling it was fairly valid, he wasn't easy to get along with. He allowed her to close the door in his face, the thin door providing enough audio for him to make out the direction of the conversation. Sjeh bridged the conversation before she decided to talk about him, Zoe reassuring her that she wasn't here for him.

He'd seen the stout woman before, just due to the fact she was the top medical official. She kept the same harsh tone that he'd heard from her, though it tempered soon enough.

"Then why are you here?" Sjeh asked, something clattering. "You know that I only ask because I care for you, and since Mary died…" Sjeh took a long beat. "I can't change your job choice, but your mother," Mary, Levi supposed, frowning at the door, wondering why Zoe had never told him her name. "your mother wouldn't stand for your choice in men." Had Sjeh known her mother? Maybe.

Levi knew how her mother had impressed the 'ladylike' ideal on Zoe. So, she'd been a bit odd in training, her congeniality putting strain on her social tendencies. He'd told her one day to just stop and open up, speak her mind, something, because she did let people walk all over her. She didn't seem confident in her place even now, but she'd gotten a handle on it.

"Sjeh, I'm fine. I've grown up, I'm fine, you know. No need to worry."

"You pick up with the worst people."

"I haven't- really been with anyone besides him."

"That's even worse."

"So, what; even monogamy isn't doing it for you?"

"He's a- Scout Regiment- I heard," Sjeh's voice dropped to a dramatic, audible whisper, "he was a thug in the underground. A notorious one at that."

"Why does that matter?"

"One; he's a criminal, and dangerous. Second, he's a loner, Zoe; he'll drop you as soon as he's bored with you; you do notice how he only associates with you at night? That's not the kind of man you should be with. Especially; Zoe, once again, Scout Regiment. The mortality rate is obscene."

Levi frowned, the false information frustrating him, especially as Sjeh rolled over Zoe's words.

"He's a lost cause, Zoe, you can drop standards so well, I swear, it's nice charity work. But, you're lovely, Zoe, just like your mother, if shorter. You should just join the medics, I mean….He'll move on, and so should you."

Zoe's sigh was loud, "Why are you here? Only to tell me off? I don't know what you want me to do." her voice wavered, and Levi sensed that she was about to bend. "I-" He heard the crack, then the resurgence of her voice, "Sjeh, I know what I'm doing. I'm not 15 anymore. And that; I'm fine."

"Fine, being that you cried for a good hour over him sleeping with someone else."

"What-"

"Cadet training." Sjeh paused for effect. "Ring any bells?"

"I was 20, Sjeh, I know how to keep my feelings in check now, okay? I'm 24, I can handle myself, I really don't-I don't like making you worried," Zoe's voice was soft, the one she used on him when he was in a mood. "I'm fine. We're...I don't know what we are, but it's nothing, okay?"

Levi didn't acknowledge the fact that his heart dropped.

Sjeh scoffed. "Fine. And referring to your earlier sentence, I'm here to make sure you're sleeping correctly."

"I'm fine."

"Saying it over and over doesn't make it true." A slight clunk. "there. I think that should be good enough for a month."

"Thank you."

The door opened, shut, and Levi retreated to look out the window, watching the woman beetle away, cowl shrouding her face. He turned, opened his door before she could, striding past her to the glass container Sjeh had set on the table. Zoe couldn't keep up with him, her attempt to block his retrieval failing miserably, and Levi held the tincture to the light.

"What is this, Zoe?" He asked, looking to her.

Her breath hitched, and she mumbled something. Levi raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to answer, jaw working as the time spanned. He frowned, considered the idea that this aggressive approach wasn't a good idea and relaxed as much as he could, setting down the container. Zoe fidgeted there, hair still damp, and he stepped in, let his fingers run through it, waves present in this form.

"It's something to help with sleeping. I," she took a large breath, looking away from him, "just have a good amount of nightmares. There's been a bit of issue, and the job description has been a bit off, but," Zoe shrugged, false smile making his frown deepen, "I'm fine."

He let his thumb slip over a freckle, "No you're not."

She shook her head, "No, but I'm not entirely sure why I'm not."

He understood that, at least, and allowed the silence to lull, eventually moving to let her sit at the table. His soup was still warm, so he grabbed two bowels, found a bit of expensive wine, Dandelion Wine, actually, he'd kept for himself under threat of death, that threat being applied to Roy, Moss, Mason, and Geo. The air outside was still warm, the summer always a bit...cloying, but still. At least it was a nice temperature, and he sat close to her. Let her talk.

Levi kept his hand close to hers, providing a bit of commentary on her fellows. Especially Nile. Who annoyed him just because he'd hopped over to the Military Police, and, here, he was given more reasons to be dislike Nile. Or Nule, as Levi prefered to term him, mostly due to the relation; mule. Because he was an absolute ass, and he'd rather see her as the commander.

She laughed at that, reached, pushed him, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her onto his seat, empty bowl clattering. "I can't be the Commander, Levi, do I seem like a commanding presence?"

He hummed briefly, "You are short."

"Wow, look who's talking."

"Zoe, you're, what, 5 feet?"

"Um, five feet and a half, so," She tipped forward enough to turn to him, "get your facts straight."

"I can teach you how to be commanding, Zoe."

"What, are you going to write me a book?" she laughed, allowing him to shift her so she straddled him, his hands smoothing slow under her robe. "One page work," she held up her fingers, putting quotes around her next words, "f_rown, be a clean freak, grumble occasionally, and be talented._"

"It would sell," he said, tipped his head back as her hands curled up into his hair, slight body flush against him now.

"Sadly, yes, it would," she gave a little giggle, head tipping away as he pressed his forehead to her neck, hands moving to work at the tie of her rob. "Especially if you put, 'by humanity's greatest soldier'. About the author section would be missing, and I'd bet you'd put 'declined to comment' because you're an asshole." Her words caught as his hands slid over her hips, soft skin against his hands, his lips parting to take deeper breaths, Levi's head tipped down, but he raised it soon enough. The look on her face was a much better thing to focus on.

"I would put declined to comment, because it would miss the point of established brevity if I added the section." He tried for a kiss, but she tilted away, hips moving in his hands, the smell from the soaps she used making his head spin. Wasn't the wine, it was just...

"Oh, big words; I bet you learned that from my book. That you still haven't returned."

He nodded, this time catching her lips, hands on her lower back, making sure her legs were in the proper place before he stood. She gave a squeak, arms tight around the back of his neck, trying to find a bit of say in where he was taking her. Levi stopped in the doorway, put her weight there for an instant, kissed her hard, hoping it was good enough to equal a non-vocal 'I missed you'. Just glad she'd agreed to come over.

"Are we going to get my book?" she asked when he pulled away.

"Sure."

He kicked the door, closing it with a solid finality.

* * *

Lightning cracked open the sky, released another torrent of rain. Zoe tugged her cowl over her head, positioning it over her mouth, horses slogging through the mud. The horse next to her suddenly gave, and Levi swore, his horse bucking as it attempted to find it's footing. His hand lashed out, and she stuck hers out, reaching for him.

His slim fingers couldn't find a grip, eyes wide as his horse finally tipped, and Zoe lunged for him. Felt her fingers tap against his, stretched over, edge of the mountain path giving out. The gaping mouth of a Titan waited below, and she wondered why he didn't have his gear, even as she screamed, rooted to her spot by some invisible force.

_The mouth snapped closed, and he was gone from view, though the Titan reached, hands matching his for some reason-. Light-_

Nathan's face invaded her vision, shaking her without any attempt to be gentle, Nile peering over his broad shoulder, hand touching the red pendant on his neck, concerned. Jay popped into view, buzzcut hair always familiar, Sjeh almost waddling behind him, personifying the storm in her, what she assumed, nightmare. Nathan patted her face, and Jay yanked her hand, poking it with a needle.

She yelped, glaring at him, falling out of her chair, book with her, looking blearily around the card playing room. "What-"

"You were screaming," Nathan said, lips turning down in a slash. "Yea? Screaming your pretty little ass off."

"Well, gee, Nathan, I'm so happy you think it's pretty," she said, shifting slow to her feet, though he'd already picked her up by her under arms, almost a full foot taller than her.

She didn't like it when they talked about her looks, because she still didn't feel like she was treated seriously, especially by Nathan. Though, most of the high-ranking officers did respect her by this point, if only because she'd saved a couple of their asses outside the wall. But, with Nathan, she…. He was a tall, strong man, and she knew she didn't equate to his vision of a Commander. Or, second in Command. Whatever.

Zoe drew back to her room during card time, focusing on her paperwork, rather than conversing with them. And if she fell asleep, no one was going to prick her with a needle to wake her up. She rolled her eyes as she recalled that, setting the writing utensil back in it's holder, rubbing her eyes before she pushed another stack to the side, and pulled one more to her.

* * *

_Panic dreams, so it seems we're meant to die. I had to figure it out; "it's the best," no, that's a lie  
Had to get some stuff off my chest, I vaporized(...) __I just got the motivation, your talent's just a bunch of luck, h__ard work and dedication, but lately it's run amok. __Waking up in these places I don't remember. __(..) doors left open; __I don't know who I am anymore_


	5. Underground King

_Take my crown to the grave, I'm an underground king._

* * *

The mirror reflected her appearance and Zoe didn't recognize herself.

Later, she stood in her large bedroom, looking at herself in the dim light, her prominent cheekbones, pressing at her standing out collarbone, wondering why she looked so frail. Didn't want to, really, she did want a presence that people would take seriously. Zoe turned, looked at the scar on her leg, bending, running her thumb over it, compared it to her still present training injuries. What was that; four, five years ago?

She glanced to the clock, cursed when she realized she had a limited amount of time to get downstairs. Zoe was hopping on one foot by the end, jerking her boot on just as she moved herself out of her room, dashing forward as soon as it was on. On the way, she clipped someone, the male's sharp words correctly applied, though she wasn't able to stay and apologize.

Zoe used a banister railing, swinging herself with more momentum as she turned. She stopped in front of the door, smoothing her uniform, catching her breath before she opened it, and walked in, saluting as the door close behind her. The Commander in Chief sat at his desk, spectacles low on his nose, Nile standing in front of the desk as well. His lip curled when he saw her, though it disappeared when Zacklay looked up.

"Well," The man said, setting his papers to the side. "I suppose you're going to be the new Commander." He gestured at a chair, and she sat, hoping she seemed slightly imposing. "Now, by your files," Zacklay's weathered hand rest on the papers. "You seem to have an issue with command in general. Constant reports of your issues with confidence in handling the men have plagued your earlier years, but now."

She still stammered when she said, "I believe I can suit it, now."

"For the most part, it may be temporary, just due for the 6 months Nile would like to spend with his family."

"Oh," Zoe glanced towards the unhappy male. "So, some point in 850 I'll be let off?" This was the last month in 849, and everyone was finally settling down after the Wall Maria loss. Jay had even invited her over for dinner with his family, some politically powerful people she'd heard of before. Never associated it with him.

"Essentially, yes."

She took a beat, then nodded, thanking whatever celestial power had control over removing responsibility. "That sounds...fine, I suppose. I mean, I'll do what I can, I just-." Zoe breathed slow. "Sir, I believe I'm up for it."

Nile snorted, looking away.

Zacklay's eyebrows raised, "Dok, would you like stay in your position?"

"...I'll take the time off, thank you, Commander."

"There," Zacklay motioned between them. "Settled. Nile, if you'll leave."

Nile started to leave, but Darius cleared his throat, hand settling close to it. Her Commander turned, slapped the pendant down, a brief salute coming before the door slammed after him. Zoe made to leave, the pendant enclosed in her hand, afraid to check, in case this was another dream. Zacklay raised his hand, and she halted, standing still.

"Is it true you trained with Captain Levi?" Zacklay asked, slipping his spectacles off his nose, pinching the bridge.

Zoe blinked, eyebrows furrowing as she answered, "yes, actually."

The Commander in Chief hummed, resting back in his chair, considering her. "Well." He sat up. "If you don't think you can deal with this command, please inform me, I promise, there's no need to be shy about it, I'd rather make the problem better than prolong it."

She flushed, salute hurried, darting out of the room, colliding with someone. Levi. Shit.

He instantly bristled, not falling like she did, though his back was turned until he shifted, eyes narrowed, brow creased, darkening. "Watch where-" he started, practically snarling at her, then his expression cleared. "What are you doing?"

Zoe slapped around, looking for the pendant, a terrified squeak seeping out as she watched it clatter down the stairs to the entrance of this building. Apparently, whatever celestial beings were granting her less responsibility, were also causing the worst run of luck she'd ever witnessed. A teenager appeared, tattered clothes signifying that he was definitely not an occupant of the main capital as well as his sudden appearance from a suspicious grate.

She scrambled to her feet, shouting at him as he picked up the pendant. He saw her coming for him and practically dove back into the grate, taking a second to put the lock back on it, pale face revealed by the sun before even that disappeared. Zoe yanked at the bars, rust staining her fingers, eyes wide, breath coming faster, hands shaking so hard she had to pull them back.

Levi was at her side, looking down at the grate, a tired huff escaping him. "You really have the worst luck."

"Yes, state the obvious, Levi," she snapped, circling the metal covered hole.

Levi shrugged. "You want help?"

"What?" Zoe said, so flustered she could hardly hear him.

"I'm stating the obvious again, but I know my way around down there."

She stopped, looking up at him. "Really?"

Levi lifted his eyebrows, gazed at her. Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, kicked out a rock, missing it, and stubbing her toe. Levi actually laughed, even though it was exceedingly brief, eyebrows twisting up, shaking his head as she shook her foot.

" Next thing you know, you'll accidentally die. How about you stop moving?"

"That's probably a good idea."

* * *

Levi was at the Military Office the next day, not looking too pleased at being told to wait by Military Police, and she waved him through, the large building easy to navigate once you knew it. Her room had once been located on the ground floors, two bunkbeds to a small room. Passing them now, she saw the resident Military police, about 400 here, including one or two of the ranking officers, rise.

"Where are we going?"

"Um, I think we have," she searched for the correct word, then shrugged. "I guess, disguises."

Levi gave a scoff, but he still followed after her, stairs leading underground, the basement containing locked up 3D gear, as well as guns. There were 3 separate keys, one for the immediate door, others for the gear, and guns. He sat down at a lone table, eyes tracking her as she went to and from the table, dumping all sorts of clothing there.

His dress differed from yesterday, the black, formal attire he wore gone, cravat as well. Levi set his chin in his hand, looking fairly amused, plucking at a near by item, rubbing it between his forefinger and thumb. She finally sat the last heap on the table, hands on her hips, observing the small hill. Multicolored, dirt dulled cloth was about the only thing here.

"Are you serious, Zoe?" Levi asked, eyebrows raising.

"Well, I-I don't know what people wear down there, I'm not fucking documenting it, Levi."

"Just put on regular clothes. And bring 3D gear, you can't walk around without a back up plan."

"Oh. Oh, okay."

Levi tugged out two capes, tossed one her way. "Are you good?"

"Yea."

He was in his element down here, hood up over his head, correcting her little mistake of not doing that by himself, shaking his head. Zoe heard the 'you would've gotten killed' phrase, and elbowed him, keeping close to him despite that. Levi stood in the main square, turning in a circle, people skirting by him as he did, eyes narrowed, a couple older men taking a longer time than everyone else to observe him.

Levi finally pointed, grabbed her elbow and tugged her along after him. He held up two fingers next, and she nodded, jumping into the air with him after two more steps. His navigation was much more polished, and she almost clipped a stalagmite, breath robbed from her. Zoe didn't look back, dropping with him, teetering on the edge of an alley, clothes lines roping between the buildings.

She stopped herself from falling with ease, jogging for a second to catch up with him, unable to keep her eyes from wandering. She'd been down here once. And it really lacked the dark, scary place she'd held it to, lips twisting down, handles back in place. Levi was waiting for her at the top of the steps, frowning as he waved her closer, caught her wrist when she was in range.

"Right, stay here."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

Zoe narrowed her eyes, "I'd smack you if you wouldn't block it."

"Fine; because these people don't like…" he searched for a word. "outsiders, Zoe."

"Outsiders- can they tell?"

"Yes they can."

"How?"

"Oh-shit, quiz me later, okay?" He clenched his jaw, turned, walking into the small house. He stopped in the door way, attracted her attention by snapping. "Stay there. Don't move an inch."

If she was younger, she would've stuck out her tongue, but she was left with glaring as her only line of defense. Zoe moved an inch, hoped he knew she'd done something displeasing, though it was hardly anything to slap 'rebel' on. Frankly, she was scared, but not enough to spite him in her own, silly way. A rat scampered past, and she cringed, happy that at least it wasn't a snake, but she wasn't good on any terms.

Zoe bumped against something, thought it was a wall, but her assumption was soon proved wrong, a large hand clapping down to rest on her shoulder. She turned, stepped back, brows creasing, as his palm was almost bigger than her face, the hulking man maybe a foot taller than her. A shorter man stood at the giant's shoulder, leaned back to talk to someone else behind him.

"You sure?" the shorter man said, gruff voice just reaching her ear.

"She's military police, all right," came the person he was consulting.

"What, no-" Zoe attempted, stepping back, and actually hitting a wall this time.

"Too clean to be down here," the short man said.

Levi stepped out just as the giant reached for her, a huge sigh from him halting progress. He moved in that second, caught her arm, a silver line attaching to the alley. Zoe did the same, thinking that her luck today was making up for the shit that'd gone down yesterday, making it through all the clothes, crashing through the window Levi had a second before, skidding forward on the foot that braced her.

"What did I say?" Levi snapped, hands on her as soon as she was stable, checking her over. "What did I say?"

"Don't move. an inch. And I didn't do anything, Levi, don't lose your shit, I'm fine."

He narrowed his eyes, going silent, gaze dark. Eventually, he held up his clenched hand, opened it, pendant dropping, hanging by the tie. She held out her hand, and he pressed it into hers, turning.

Zoe didn't really think about her next words, just blurted them out, "Why do you care, Levi? I'm not really special, am I? I mean, I'm not...really anything impressive, and I'm sorry for worrying you, but I just- I don't seem." She sighed. "Compared to you, I'm nothing of note, really. You're a leader, and I'm a follower, so…" Another sigh, and she stared at his back. "thank you, though. I should give this back. I lost it," her voice cracked, but she cleared her throat, "and I didn't even have it for a minute, so that's got to be a sign."

She didn't have enough bravery to wait for his response, just tried to rush out, mumbling something about finding her own way back. He stopped her, head tipping, looking confused.

"A follower?" He shook his head, eyes wide. "first of all, you're not even social enough to follow the popular idea, and second, with all those books, you...you're a know it all, so, you know. Too smart to be taken advantage of, and even if you're not the best leader: not _even_ the best leader can get everyone out alive, and frankly, Zoe, this entire world has gone to shit, so."

"But if my orders; I don't want anyone to get hurt, because I made the wrong decision. I don't want to be a failure." more than she already was.

He shook his head again, "Even I can't make the right decision, sometimes, and I've been at this for a while…." he gazed at the floor between them. "don't think that I'm an amazing leader. It's a lot of weight, and sometimes-but they're right here," he pressed a brief hand to his chest. "Okay? Everybody's in this for a reason."

She nodded. "Yea."

"And," he caught her again, tugged her close. "don't compare yourself to other people. You always want to be better than the next person, and that's… ridiculous. It really is. Balance it out, yea? So competitive, it's like you're trying to beat everyone, and everything." His hand swept over her hair, tapping along the piercings. "You're perfect to somebody."

He didn't give her time to ask if it was him who thought she was perfect, kiss hard enough to sweep the phrase from her mind. Levi disengaged when he took in the landscape again, though it didn't seem to really put him off, pressing her back. She wasn't a big fan of the wall behind her, hand at his chest, wishing for a moment, her 3D gear making it even more awkward.

Levi did pause, and she nodded her thanks, murmuring, "Don't we need to get back?"

He stepped away, and led her out, coming out of the underground via caves. She frowned, not recognizing the land scape, somewhere in the inner reaches of Wall Sina. Still, he knew where he was going, obviously much more adventurous that she was. Zoe just preferred her warm covers, rather than shivering in the rain. Where she was the next day.

"Do you have a better place to be, Commander?" one of the Central Military police asked.

What if I just turned this detail around? Let him die? she thought. "Just cold." She should have Command over them. But she didn't. Which was odd. But she didn't ask questions.

The man's smirk crawled briefly over his face, obviously amused by the miserable MPs, the regular group shortened by one, due to the common excursions out. Her group circled around the tunnel, Nathan's huge sneezes making a couple people laugh. He glared, but obviously, it was too cold for him to even attempt getting off his horse and punching them.

It was a shorter outing this time, and they were back down the mountain with limited precaution, everyone eager to get back inside Wall Sina, and work through possible illnesses. The gate opened, town silent, a few lights here and there, but no one looked out, due to the quiet affair they were playing out. Next, the inner gate opened, and their slow pace through the streets was forgotten on the other side, making good time to the next outcrop in Sina, where they weren't as careful.

Nathan and Jay grumbled per usual, leaving their gear to the men responsible for the upkeep. Zoe barely listened, hand touching the red pendant, hoping Levi wasn't too mad that she'd blown him off, the command coming from nowhere, and giving her no time to arrange her limited social interactions. He didn't look amused the next afternoon when she found him, practically stalking towards her, a storm cloud with all of his dark clothing.

"Where were you?" he asked. "I was worried."

"Well, that's nice," she gave a large sniff, the cold air not doing much for her mood. "Very nice." A cough interrupted her, and she turned, giving a groan. "had to do something; last minute."

"What?"

she frowned, not processing his question,"What?"

"What were you doing?"

"I don't have to tell you," she said.

"Don't you trust me?" he asked.

"It's not a matter of trust, Levi."

His frown deepened. then he shrugged. "whatever."

Zoe opened her mouth when she recalled the news, "There's going to be a social, something along that, high ranking officers. Jay's parents are apparently ridiculously rich, so. I know Erwin said he'd come. Probably only to network, but. Maybe, um, you could come. Or something?"

Another shrug. "Maybe."

* * *

He did. Though it was almost over by that time, and he'd left her there to sit at a corner table. Jay was next to her when Levi came in, though his eyes were on Nathan and Mya, mouth twisted down, stabbing his knife into the cloth, pulling it out, repeating these two movements. Zoe didn't know he liked Mya, but hey. Learned something new everyday. Coupled with the knowledge that Nathan had a reputation with women.

Jay finally stood up, shoving out of the large hall, door slamming behind him. Levi took his chair, taking an untouched plate from the other table. She crossed her arms, looked away from him, listened to the short huff that meant he was amused. Zoe bristled, glaring at him now.

"What, are you going to sit there and pout?" he asked, setting his elbow on the table.

"Look, all I wanted was to be able to talk to someone," she said. "I'm sorry I can't tell you where I was, but-" She rose to her feet, striding to the door, think that she'd take Jay's idea of non-confrontation.

Unlike Jay's exit, hers was followed by the person who caused it, Levi calling, "Don't make me chase you, Zoe. This is ridiculous, fuck. You're working yourself up over nothing."

Still, he caught her arm, the chase after her easy. She tried to yank her arm away, but he had her, pulling her with him, bringing her close.

"Get off," she snapped, hand slamming to his hard chest, and he did, but she didn't run.

"Look. If you can't tell me, you can't tell me, I get it. Just, I thought you trusted me enough to tell me, is all. I didn't think."

"No, no you didn't," she confirmed, breathing deep. "moron."

He shook his head, a smirk curling his lips, "Yea, just a little."

"So, what, do you want…?"

Levi turned, looked over his shoulder, "I could steal some food, and we can go eat somewhere else. Without that many people."

"Or you could just ask for food."

"Takes the fun out of it."

"I didn't know you had fun, Levi."

* * *

_She twisted, smile large. "Can't you keep up?"_

_Levi scoffed, and put some power into his stride, running alongside her now, Farlan left in the literal dust. Despite their stature, Zoe and he were at the front of the group, mostly because she'd provoked him. He kept pace with her, sprinting the final stretch, crossing the line, attracting Nanaba's eyes, the woman writing down the time, while they hooked the corner._

_He grabbed her arm tugged her off the path, managing to slow them both down, though her back hit the tree fairly hard. Levi studied her face, before he dipped in, arm slipping around her waist, tugging her tight to him. Zoe attempted to put her finger over his lips, as well as her looking around his shoulder to check, but he resisted, managing to hitch her leg at least up to his waist._

"_Keep up," he murmured._

_Fuck, she was warm; that almost always surprised him. No matter what, she was always radiating a good degree of heat._

"_mmm," she pushed. "Sweaty," her finger coasted over his collarbone. "Somewhere else. Please?"_

_He agreed to that, as her roomates were being made to do something for another 2 hours, just as the sky split open, and the spring weather really showed its bad side. 2 hours was hardly anything, but he'd just cut their normal activities down a bit, her sheets tangled around them, attempting, it seemed, to replace the lack of clothes. Her hands were in his hair, where she seemed to love having them, and he liked how she'd tug when he did something she liked. Made sure to take note, add it to a growing list._

_"Do you like my hair, or something, Zoe?" He asked. _

_She opened her eyes to him, fingers stringing through his hair. "yea. It's soft and dark. Are you upset that at least one part of you is soft?" Her lips wore the smirk he usually had, and he felt her twirl some of his hair in her finger; he didn't want to shake her off now._

_"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," he mumbled, shaking his head as he went to her neck, kissing down._

_Her collarbone was prominent when she took deep breaths, sweat beading over her skin; and her entire state of broken composure was something that gave him purpose. Zoe's hand rubbed over the back of his neck, hand deviating from his hair for just an instant to trace over the muscles of his back before it returned. She tried to press him down where she wanted him, but he resisted, saw her slender body ripple with a shiver, though it was hotter than hell in here. _

_"Tomorrow," he said in response to her effort, because sexual favors could be repaid tenfold. _

_He knew he was abandoning his ideal of clean, but he didn't care.__The cadet group had been gone for a week for some government testing shit, and while she was gone, a storm front had rolled through, leaving him stranded in humid hell with nothing to keep his mind off it. __So this was him making up for lost time, humidity broken by the cold showers in view of the window. Her skin was almost scalding hot, and if he was a romantic, he'd let her burn him to ashes._

_But he wasn't, content to have his name on her lips, as he allowed her on top._

"_I could watch you do that again and again," he breathed, not entirely sure if there was any oxygen left in the room, the window closed to the deluge outside._

_Zoe fell forward, hands catching, forehead resting against his chest, shuddering like she always did. Levi chuckled, grasping her hands tipping her back up, grasping her hips a bit too tight as she moved to get up. She frowned, voice catching before she managed a sentence._

"_Levi, let me get up," she snapped, giving another sharp shudder as he moved under her, oversensitive in a large way this time._

"_One more," he leaned up slightly, hand twisting in the back of her hair, kissing her as he rose up on his elbow. "One more, for me." she was so fucking..._

"_I can't." Zoe glared, twisting her hands out of his, but he had her, legs drawn up slightly behind her, nails digging into her skin._

_Her hair was away from her shoulders, the speed at which she'd turned her head causing this. Levi's hand caught against her clit, as he pressed two fingers alongside himself, feeling the way she stretched around him, the space where they met almost hotter than it, and he really needed to open that fucking window. She jerked, leaning into the stimulation even as she tried to pull away, a shaky hand running through her hair._

"_Come on." He'd tell her that she could mow down Titans like the grim reaper if she wanted, because it was true, but he was such an ass. And he was going to hold to that character mold, not tell her what else she did, mostly to him, tell her that he couldn't sleep because of her. That was stupid. He'd been the one to establish the grounds of this relationship. "Can't you take me? Ride me just a little fucking longer."_

_Zoe grabbed onto the top bunk, hand slapping to the wooden sides, and Levi was reminded of the long gone roommate. Especially that one time when the taller boy had complained to the Cadet trainer, and Levi had to sit by while he was told, in trembling tones, 'n_ot to sleep with girls that late at night_.' that loud was also added, and the '_girls_' narrowed down to Zoe. She was brought in, while her three roommates glared at them, Levi's leg up against the wall, using it to rock him to and fro on the chair._

"_I mean, I'll try," Zoe said, flushing through her light brown skin, grabbing her elbow. "Sir, haven't I- I'm-"_

"_second," Levi said._

"_In class," she continued, glaring at him. "I don't deserve this."_

"_Just keep it down," the man attempted. A week later he was snapped up by titans, and the passed law was forgotten._

_Zoe's jaw clenched, pulling him right back down to this moment, and he fucked up into her, for the first time since he'd coaxed her into riding him. Her mouth fell open then, and a strangled little moan reached his ears, making him smirk just slightly as he took over. It had been a nice sentiment, allowing her to fuck him for once, but she did have a tendency to falter._

_Levi's mouth fell open as well, and he breathed, "Sweat for it, Zoe."_

_And when he was able to give her orders, he'd order her to keep going. Because it was that little flash of defiance that made him lose sleep over her._

* * *

Zoe walked down stairs, bundled up in one of his shirts, leaning over the balcony, catching sight of the houselady, and waved. The older woman looked up, smile increasing the wrinkles on her face. She continued down, stepping out onto the foyer, everything far too cold, and she crossed her arms over her chest, walking on tip toe.

"Where's Levi?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm not too sure, honey, but I do love the fact that this place is still immaculate after they come back."

"So, he's somewhere in house?"

"Oh, did I say the wrong thing, I'm sorry; he's gone, but I don't know where. The regiment moved out at midnight."

"Did he...leave anything for me?"

"No, sorry dear."

She nodded. Whatever.

* * *

_I'm really over the cryin' thing, wipin' my tears; Who cries anyway? spread like disease all over me. We did ungodly ghastly things, last night I mean... Who's God anyway? You're mine any day. It's burning, take me. I wanna feel your power_


	6. Welcome to the Jungle

_I asked her where she want to be when she's 25. She turned around, looked at me and she said, 'alive'._

* * *

Zoe cursed, her landing miffed slightly. Commandeer Pixis always seemed to be smiling in some way, and she tossed her hair back over her ears, shoving her swords back into their sheaths. A couple of her soldiers, the ones she'd managed to drag along, landed with the same mistake, Nathan and Jay standing still, hands behind their back, straight backed as well.

Garrison troops scurried along in front of them, and she tipped her chin up, saluting the commander of the Garrison Troops in her own way. Pixis gave her the same courtesy, a young man she barely recognized behind him.

"Nice of you to come in, Commander. Did the military police find something more important than the king?"

Her lip curled slightly, Nathan and Jay behind her twitching as well. "I'm here. And I count for at least half a brigade."

"Assuming you remember how to do anything but play cards."

She hummed, "yes, but let's remember the fact that we are elite. To...whatever your troops count for." She let her eyes flick over the multitude of scared Garrison troops. "And what do you count for?" She asked the boy.

He shuffled, mouth opening briefly, and saluted, 3D maneuvering device clanking. "Eren Yeager, I- I beleive I can seal the hole in Trost District."

"So the reports are true?"

"They reached you?" A squad leader asked, and she flicked her eyes over to the man, snapped them back on Yeager.

"Yes." Zoe shifted slightly. "The Scout Regiment?"

"A detail went outside Wall Rose just before this occurred," a silver haired female said, and Zoe nodded, lips pressing into a small line.

"Levi?"

"With them."

"And your plan?"

"Attract the majority of titans here, while we get Yeager to the boulder."

"Your elite squad will move with them?"

Pixis nodded, "yes."

"I'll join them."

Nathan made a sharp noise of dissent, clearing his throat as he stepped brazenly forward, "Commander, is that wise?"

"Back, Captain Tomlinson," she hissed, cutting her gaze over Nathan, fucking amazed that he'd do something like this in front of one of the highest ranking officials in the Military.

"I didn't know subordinates could be so rude in the light of their intelligent Commander's orders," Pixis said, finger brushing over his mustache, the color of his eyes a bit like scotch hit by light; a calm effect, sometimes.

Pixis' eyebrows raised, amusement evident. Nathan glowered at the ground instead of Pixis, moving back into position along side Jay. Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, knowing she was far from imposing, but she wasn't afraid anymore, certainly not of Nathan. Pixis ran over a more detailed report, walking along the top of the wall with her, soldiers and Cadets they passed stopping for a moment. One turned, his face screwed up in a large smile, hand raising as he stepped forward.

Zoe stopped, turning with a clipped little step, the taller male saluted, saying , "Commander Roth; Marco Bott. I'm apart of the top 10 in the 104th Cadet class."

She let her lips tilt up, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. "Will you be joining the Military Police?"

"Yes, Commander, I look forward to serving along side you, protecting the king, and the law-abiding citizens. It's truly an honor to do so."

Her smile dropped, knowing that was sincere, and a far cry from other's reasons to get into the top. "If you manage to see this out alive, I'll make the men buy you a drink, yes?" She raised her hand, waving him off and continuing along with Pixis, knew how some of the Cadets, who'd been sent here to cover the mid-point in Trist, wouldn't be able to chose their positions.

"I hope that applies to me as well, Commander," Pixis said, patting the place where his inner pocket was. "You have a good nose for your alcohol."

"...I think I should say thank you, correct?" Zoe said, then shook her head, waving her hand again as if to wipe it from her mind. "But yes. As I'm sure one of us is going to be getting some type of hell for this." It took about 30 years to get anything passed up there. and the way Nile had been whining was astounding.

She pointed to her Jay and Nathan, jumping with them as soon as the Titans had been shifted, reaching for the swathes of humans lined along the wall. It took her a second to get back into form, as there were now convenient structures instead of trees(outside the wall kept her sharp, at least) , zipping between buildings, dodging a waywards titan and with a bit of steam she whirled around, slicing expertly.

Hot blood hit her skin, but it steamed away, and she came to a quick halt by her fellow humans, Military troops right behind her. Jay's landing was as light as hers, the tall boy (she knew he was a year older than her, but he didn't seem...) seeming to get his limbs together, awkward like a scarecrow. Nathan uprooted the roof thatching, clay tiles hitting the street below, those green eyes flashing over the cadets before he scoffed. Zoe notched the chin tilt he gave towards Mikasa, though the girl only had eyes for Eren.

She felt her wrist twinge, but she ignored it, the pain receding to the back of her mind as she watched Eren's transformation. Hope surged through her body, and she shifted back a step, heart beating a bit harder. Then the manifest form went for Mikasa. The girl dodged, and she stepped further away, cursing as she watched the boy go after his friend. Mikasa attempted to get to him, but his fist smashed down on his own head. Zoe looked away, disgusted, slicing her blade through the air, more Titans trundling through the opening.

"Fucking useless," she hissed, stepping back.

She'd been proactive, coming down here to secure some kind of points with the men who'd put her in charge, and kept her there when Nile tried for the position. Paternity leave. At least, on Mary's side, and the man was mostly there to help her out, and she'd been second in Command. Her ability to keep her mouth shut, and not ask questions may be looked down on, but she did want to live. Though, the Central Government sending her and some of their Military Police, people neither her or Nile had control over, out side Wall Rose for increasingly shady objectives was probably another factor.

"Commander," Jay attempted, nodding back to the wall, suggesting they'd get out of danger. Nathan seconded that in a heart beat.

Zoe watched the steam, listened to the Garrison Troops debating next to her. Mikasa was determined to stay, and the blonde boy was at the manifest's neck. She shifted, stabbing her blades back into slot, pulling out fresh ones, the action from nerves, rather than necessity. If Yeager could snap out of it, they'd have something done, a victory, anything, and she wanted that badly.

"No," she snapped. "we're staying." She really had an issues with smart decisions. But this time, it wasn't a blind hero complex, so. A bit better.

They gaped at her, the insignia on their arms glinting in the sunlight. Having them close was an excellent way to make sure wherever they were, they'd have a great chance of getting out alive. Nathan squinted, as if he was trying to recall her words, sift through them, see common sense, but she didn't acknowledge that.

She sliced her blades through the air, preluding her launch up, another wayward titan far too close. Zoe breathed in, and assessed the situation, blinking to a cold and calm place she had learned to reserve for herself. Her fault was in her nerves, and as her blades sliced through the air, meeting flesh, she smiled too wide, pushing off the dead titan's head, resting lightly on the top of a bell tower, glancing to Eren, his manifest form still smoking, a failed mission, it seemed.

All the useless loss of life he was causing. Her two military troops felled another moving too close, as Mikasa dispatched one herself, an entirely different animal from both Jay and Nathan. When Jay fought, it seemed as if he was a wolf backed into a corner. There was sheer ferocity from the start, teeth bared as Titan flesh flipped through the air. She turned her eyes next to Nathan, that red hair giving him away, along with the breeziness of his moves; he never broke a sweat, and only really put in work when there was someone around to watch him. A Titan swiped for her, and she dropped quickly, swinging up fast, and cutting again, technique sloppier this time, and she rotated her wrist as she came to land.

In all the chaos, she might miss a Titan coming up behind her, or a snake moving, and she was on high alert for _all_ of her phobias. Something was moving. The shudders reached her feet, and she turned, halting to watch the manifest step. Step. Another, and another, steam rising from his body, altogether an awesome sight, and her breath hitched. A Titan thudded towards Eren and she twitched in a instant, jumping from her spot, slicing with far more precision this time. She came to rest on flat ground, turning to watch the men waving down the titans, running on flat ground, nothing close enough for their gear to latch on.

Nathan and Jay gaped at the action; suicide. It was fucking suicide and she saw them get swept up, launching herself towards one, managing to grab a shorter one, but she still watched the man throw his fellow out of danger...The Titan's teeth snapped down, and his head practically burst. Zoe launched herself up, knowing it was too late, that there wasn't even a chance he was alive in the pit of it's stomach. Still, she put power behind her stroke, the hunk of flesh coming off quickly.

A titan snagged her line as she attempted to run, dispatched quickly by Nathan and Jay, and Zoe sprawled flat, watching the stone, feeling it mostly as it slammed home. She felt the victory in the tremors, curling up slightly, noticing the gash in her leg, putting it to the back of her mind. Two titans headed towards the steaming body of Eren's manifest, and she made a run for them, knowing she wasn't going to be fast enough with her leg, that Mikasa wouldn't make it either.

Something sped down, flesh flipping through the air once, twice, the person who caused the two kills falling with the titan, back to the humans, the yellow flare still in the air. Levi turned slightly, shouted at them. The remaining members of the elite squad got Eren and his friends away, and Zoe sent her men with them, her orders from much earlier fresh in their mind.

They were making sure Eren was secured below the courthouse, where a trail would no doubt be held. Levi looked to her then, eyes cold as ever. He held up two fingers, and she rolled her eyes, turning, and jumping, knowing he'd be right beside her. The straggling titans, 20 or so who still moved between houses, needed to be dispatched.

And if there was anything she was good at, it was working in tandem with Levi. He killed most of them, her assist there by distracting them for the moment needed, but she was able to credit 9 to her name. If they hadn't been under the scrutiny of others, she was fairly sure they'd have taken some time to argue over the last Titan, who got the kill.

She threaded herself through the lower street, slicing along the tendon in it's back leg, sending it forward as she whirled back, almost making herself dizzy. When she rooted herself, Levi had already finished it. They stood by while the cannons fired, the rest of the day used to kill the rest. His signia adorned cape flapped in the wind created by canons, and she sat, hands hanging over her knees.

He cleaned his blades, very meticulous about it. The wound on her leg pulsed blood, and she began to feel a tad woozy. Levi's gaze flicked to her, and he moved, jerking off his dirtied cape, the ends frayed, but he jerked her leg to him, ignoring her weak protest. Zoe was tugged around slightly, and she made noises in pain, knowing it wouldn't stop him.

"Don't be stupid," he said, eyes raising to hers, tying her wound properly. "I refuse to further useless death."

He shoved her leg over, standing again, hand resting on his hip, catching a healing titan crawling on the ground. She moved before him, coming to a rest on it's head, feeling it buck under her, snapping wildly. She sliced presently, stepping off, jumping into the air once more, watching the troops' effort in catching two. Levi and she sprung into quick action, allowing Hanji to point wildly, prancing to and fro as they did their job properly.

Hanji clapped wildly, and Levi glanced to her, stopping her celebration mid-spring. The Titans suitably disabled, the task of capturing them far easier now, the Garrison troops worked tirelessly to tie them up. A man under Pixis' orders dropped to her side, muttering his Commander's wishes, and she swayed, slow into action, adrenaline fading to give way to extreme fatigue.

Erwin stood there, and she saluted them both, arrogance completely gone, admiring both their effort's, especially Erwin's troops, their addition far more than her force could ever imagine. Pixis nodded, and Erwin saluted back, Zoe nodding to the younger man, arms folding slowly over her chest.

"Count?"

"207 missing or dead, and almost 900 injured."

She cursed, "Was it worth it? Really?"

"Well, we got to see you in action," Pixis said, mustache trembling.

"I'm sure it'll rouse the dead, Pixis."

She shifted, looking towards the boulder, nodding slightly, the traces of the flare still in the air, even through all the smoke. The weight was too much for celebration, but not enough to prevent her

"Now, your orders alluding to Yeager?" Pixis asked.

Zoe stiffened, keeping her back to the two taller, older men. "I'm not to give that away."

"Please. The news reached you first."

She clenched her fists. "I have a duty, Commanders, and you should heed that, as I'm sure you have secrets you won't impart."

"It's simple orders, Zoe," Pixis said, voice laced with an edge now, but she'd found that first.

"And you take yours the same way." She glared over her shoulder, turning, aware of Levi's cape around her still bleeding wound as Erwin's eyes darted to it. "Now. If you'll excuse me, I'll make my way to the doctors within Wall Sina."

"We'll see you soon?"

She stepped close to the edge, "of course." and dropped, assuming it looked impressive, boosting from it, pleting down, drawing eyes of the still present troops. Zoe put her gear to work, stopping her progress, reclaiming her horse, and putting some speed behind her to Wall Sina, leaving her horse to a MP when she reached her destination. Numerous merchants and residents began shouting at her as she walked through the street, looking 1000 times more dirty.

Reports had begun to reach these people, and she was fairly sure her returning troops had stirred the pot. As well as her disheveled appearance. She couldn't answer, plodding forward, swords out just so the men would not grab onto her shoulders. Sjeh spotted her, running towards her, grasping her shoulder, the older woman shooing the pigs back from her.

Sjeh inspected the job Levi had done on her leg, and complimented it. A laugh shuddered through her body, and she crossed her arm over her eyes, flat on her back. She was handed a leather piece, and Zoe bit down on it, not really heralding anything besides a flash of extreme pain, then darkness. Zoe woke up sometime later, washed, with her wounds stitched and bandaged, as well as strict orders not to put too much pressure on it.

* * *

_fifty-five and three–eighths years later, at the bottom of this gigantic crater... and armchair calls to you, yeah this armchair calls to you. and it says that some day we'll get back at them all._

* * *

The next day she disregarded that rule, and pulled on her uniform, her slight body hardly filling it out. Numerous times when she was called to meetings, the men expected more out of her, snickered behind hands, but she'd gotten to her position for a reason. That reason being Nile's absence, and a lack of morals. She tugged her gloves on, listening to the nurse on the issue of her wrist and an almost loped off finger.

Zoe allowed herself to be filled in on the issue, besides the mutters within Wall Sina. Nile hissed about a possible uprising, and she glared at the man, walking down underneath the courthouse, knowing he was going to whip the men into a frenzy. Erwin was already in front of the cell containing Yeager,standing as she strode down the hallway Levi leaning on the wall beside him. His eyes flickered over her, lips twitching slightly.

Erwin spoke, "you're better, I assume."

"Don't talk to Sjeh, or you'll hear another story, but yes."

Zoe leaned back against the wall, exhaustion coursing through her again, and she took the seat her men provided. tossing her hair back from her face.

"We'll take him," Erwin murmured, halted, turned just enough to face her.

"Did Levi already threaten him?"

Levi side eyed her with extreme annoyance.

"I'm sure he did," she finished, looking at the boy. "You; you were the one who wouldn't give up?"

He nodded, a quick yes slipping from his lips, chains jiggling when he shifted.

Zoe remained silent, finger tapping slow on her knee. Erwin stooped, murmuring something to Levi. Levi gave a quick nod, and said something containing her name and 'MP'. She smiled, resting her chin in her hand, staring at the boy.

"You know you're the biggest wildcard I've ever seen in my life; counting the card playing interludes. And the majority of my men want you so they can kill you," Zoe murmured, waiting for another nod; maybe a laugh. When she got at least a nod, she continued. "Of course, I'll give my point, but I think Levi can handle you the best." He gave a short nod, eyes resting unerringly on the kid. "And to be honest, your value is depreciating. Due to the fact that, technically, I'm supposed to be Second in Command. So, large lack of power."

Levi looked to her, and she saw anger flash there, making her laugh. She stood up, brushed off her uniform, stepping close to his cell, peering in at him. She'd seen him attack his friend, so at the moment he really wasn't at the top of her list. Levi stepped close, hand gracing the small of her back, dipping close, his proximity intimate, even to the Military Troops around her.

* * *

(_**AN(**_cut it off just to make a chapter, the hunk of this break was 10k, so))


	7. Heartbeat

_-Picked up where we left off. I need you home when I get off. You know I need that wet mouth_

* * *

She gave a slight shudder, leaning into his touch, bobbing her head, even as she was pushed out of his eye range. Her eyes flicked to Yeager, then she allowed Levi to walk with her out of the cell block. He nudged her forward, and she walked up her her bedroom, knowing she should be preparing her statement but fuck. She wanted him. Zoe wasn't going to say needed yet, but as he pushed her against the wall near the door of her room, she shuddered.

Zoe reached for him, crushed her lips against his, recalled the Titan threat, and kissed him harder. Levi was here; humanity's strongest solider, so she was safe, wasn't she? She could feel his strength now, rough palms sliding under her shirt, breaking the kiss just enough to catch his breath. Her hand fisted in his uniform jacket as he palmed over her breasts, making her tip her lower body further to his, until there wasn't any room between them.

Movement in the hallway that belonged to only the highest ranking Military Police officials attracted her, but she relaxed as soon as the person walked into their room without seeing her. She returned her full attention to Levi, how he seemed to be insisting on taking her pants off in the hall. Zoe couldn't afford to be made into a sexual object by anyone under her command, so she led him back into her room, Levi throwing his jacket on her study table.

"You fucked someone. Before last time."

"Yea, I did, why are you suddenly sourcing that?" she murmured, jerking as he stripped her of her clothes. "You wanna hear about how much I loved it? Or do you not believe me?"

"I don't trust anyone, including pretty girls."

He pointed at the ground, and she hummed, sitting back on her heels. Levi yanked her forward, and she dragged her tongue over her lips, opening her mouth wide, murmuring, "Are you gonna fuck my mouth, Levi? Or just, do you like me on my knees?"

His mouth dropped for an instant, and she smiled, knew she'd won for once. He almost tackled her, shifting her around on the ground, careful with her leg despite it all. She bit her lip as he pressed inside her, hand on her back, arching her, opening her legs further, nodding for him. His hand landed beside her, the stone floor uncomfortable for them, her mostly, and he thrust.

Zoe opened her eyes slowly, catching sight of them in the mirror, how small she looked under him. She watched him fuck her, rapt, almost too occupied to focus on him. He tugged her hair, arching her up, hand at her throat, squeezing. Instantly, she went limp for him, and he smiled, watching them in the mirror, fingers slipping slowly into her parted mouth.

"Fuck, look at you, fucking gorgeous," he snarled, blue-gray eyes flicking down to her once. "So good damn for me, Zoe, fuck you can take me." Levi's breath was hot over her back. She closed her eyes to his, pressing her face in the crook of her elbow.

She couldn't manage much, choked pleas for Levi to go harder, deeper, "I can take it, take everything, Levi."

his words were garbled, teeth tight together, "Want me to fuck you till you can't remember anything but my name, huh?"

Her hand scrabbled at the floor, looking for purchase, face screwing up, caught, and she fucking needed this. He complied in an instant, fucking into her with punishing, exacting thrusts. Zoe's hand skidded over stone, stopped when his hand circled her wrist, skin on skin hardly muffled. And fuck, fuck, fuck, she loved this so fucking much. Whatever it was, the agency he robbed from her, she didn't care, because he knew how much she could take, and what she couldn't.

His hand pressed between her legs, long fingers moving at her clit, soft words spoken into her neck, but they sounded far away. Zoe shuddered as she came, body jerking, the knee position not affording her stability as her legs threatened to give. His voice was right next to her ear, and he stilled, holding her down, seating himself fully in her. Levi's command to shift rocked through her, and she nodded, allowing him to turn her on her back. She was going to have back problems if he fell in love with the floor idea.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she glanced to the mirror, eyeing the way his strong back was curved, his body moving over hers, the dim light making it all the better. Zoe hissed, felt his teeth, dragged her nails over his back in response, leaving her own marks, pain zipping through her. Her muscles were still sore, and Zoe decided to curse, adding his name in, as well as a bit of extra details.

"Shit," he hissed. "scream for me, Zoe." His arms fit around her, and held her tight for a brief second, before shifting, the pace he started far harder than the last.

Her breath shook her frame and she drew it in, hand slapping against the floor, sharp gasps making her lungs burn. She pressed her cheek into the cool surface beneath her, mind hazy, the mix he normally managed of pain and pleasure heightened, making her head swim.

He curved his body over hers, arms to either side of her, hips fitting tight to hers, and Zoe managed to wrap her legs around his waist, gripped his wrist. And he fucked her. Fucked her into a drooling mess, his name dropping from her mouth over and over again, like it was the only thing she knew and for a minute it was. A solid minute, and she was fairly sure she didn't breathe, a phrase running through her mind, not that she remembered it.

She fisted her hands, and felt him finish, sliding down to the cool floor, his body falling next to hers, hand dropping against her skin. He twitched slightly, and she heard him laugh, the noise foreign to her, his fingers curling over her skin.

Apparently, they picked up where they left off every time.

"Fuck, I missed you," he murmured, and she laughed.

"Is that the joke?"

"I mean it, Zoe."

She swallowed, and closed her eyes. "Why?" She opened them.

"What-"

"Why now? Why do you; tell me at an earlier time. Where do you get off at being cryptic"

"Fuck; there's just," Levi sat up, muscles of his back shifting, "changes. I don't know, Zoe, I'm honestly not good at this." He shook his head, movement brief, before he stood, walking to his clothes, underwear on when he held up a hand to pull her up. "I'm letting something in. I believe...if you can't give everything up, you can't achieve something, but I'm not going to give you up. Because if all this ends, I'm not going to have anything."

"I thought you were going to kill them all for me?"

"Yes."

She turned, and took his hand, standing close to him, shivering in the sudden cold. His eyes flickered over her frame, to the wrap on her leg. He moved from her, fixing his previous damage, guiding the slip over her frame. Levi closed his eyes for a moment, and he looked exhausted, his body seeming smaller now, and he sat back on her bed, opening his eyes again.

"I understand you were with the previous commander, or something," he avoided her eyes, lips pressing into a tight line. "Before Nile. Whatever."

"You know, you _would_ think gossip would at least be mildly correct; he was a shitty Captain with no value, and I was spiraling," Zoe laughed, swaying where she stood. "He fucked for 5 minutes then came. Have you heard of erratic, Levi, because I think if you met him, you might bring some of that to the bedroom." She sat away from him crossing her legs, surprised when he rested his head on her lap. But she still smiled, pushing a hand through his soft black hair.

"5 minutes," he muttered, and she hummed, resting her head back. "No one else?"

"Are you jealous?"

He stiffened, then nodded.

"What," she teased, "does it keep you up at night, thinking about me under another man?"

"Yes. You have frequently cost me a night's sleep. You worry me, Zoe, because you are spectacularly stubborn, and the only time you listen to me is when you're like that, and I cannot stand you."

"Like what?"

"Fucked out."

He made a noise, gray eyes flicking to her. Zoe smiled, and his lips twitched. She started talking about her brother, wondering when he'd tell her to quiet down, but he let her talk. Her words trembled as she talked about the last time she'd seen him, how she made sure his son was in Wall Sina, studying to be a apothecary, not a goddamn merchant. Levi's slur mixed with hers, and she tugged his hair, as if telling him to behave.

His thumb glided over her skin, petting there, and she smiled wide, starting to talk about her brother's child, dipping into the children idea by association. Zoe didn't really know what she was doing, drowsiness affecting her somewhat. But he was still there with her, snorting when she suggested a bad name, his head moving up to rest on her stomach as she laid down.

"Why haven't you…? I mean, we aren't particularly careful in the slightest, so that's always been a nagging question."

"Because every time, I make sure to go down to the apothecary and get the preventative measures. It messes up my period as well, and it's very complicated."

Levi's eyebrow lifted slightly, and he shifted. "Kids. I'm not good with kids, Zoe. Actually, I'm fairly sure I scared a kid on the way here."

"Did you?"

"Yes, he wouldn't move out of my way, and I looked at him."

"Levi."

"I don't really understand why he wouldn't move in the first place. Horses are big, aren't they?" Levi frowned, well, he frowned more, gaze darkening. "Common sense should affect even the dumber ones."

"Levi."

"How could we raise a kid? I refuse to bring a kid into this fucking world. If this world was perfect, we could make it work, I think. Not we, I just-I don't mean-. But, I'd manage to fuck it up, I mean, fuck, look at me," he shook his head, set his hand in the light, clenched it tight, muscles standing out. "And shit, we aren't-"

"I didn't mean to bring that up," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I talked about it. But your brother's kid sounds nice."

She hummed. "He is, I think. Smart, too."

"Smarter than the kid I almost ran over?"

"Maybe."

"The kid who I have to bring near my squad, Zoe."

She shifted, tipping her head to better catch his eyes. "You can kill him."

"I know that." The unspoken words reached her.

He breathed deep, eyes shutting slowly, body relaxing with the moment. She let her finger ghost over the buzzcut area of his hair, thinking that he rarely lost enough edge for her to realize that he was really was gorgeous. His collarbone was distinct, somewhat broad shoulders tapering to slim hips. If he'd stop frowning for a minute, other people might observe that.

He cracked open an eye, peering up at her, giving a sudden little frown. His nose wrinkled just slightly, and he raised a hand to brush against it, letting it rest back down over his stomach, and she allowed her eyes to peruse lower. Levi's frown turned up into a smirk, catching her eyes, reaching her chin, and tipping it down at bit, fingers slipping up to her ear, touching along the crude piercings.

"What?" she asked.

"You're looking at my chest, Zoe. I feel like a piece of meat." His lips twisted up again, obviously alluding it outward, to the titans that banged on the wall, to the pieces of meat trapped.

"Hmmm. Try not to be so morbid," she whispered, and looked away, to which he sighed.

"Sorry, sorry. I have a shit sense of humour." Zoe looked at him, and he leaned up, pulling her in for a kiss, whispering, "I'll protect you."

She melted further, loving that sequence a bit too much. Humanity's greatest soldier, telling her he'd protect her really should be the guarantee for insomnia. Though it was a little lie. He let his thumb slide over the little freckles dusted over her face, a bit darker than her light brown skin tone. Levi let out a breath, and she was sure it caught, dropping her eyes away from his.

"Come with me," he requested, and she lifted her head.

"What?"

"The higher ups will be more inclined to let us take Yeager if you're with us. So they can keep their eyes on the little shit."

Zoe contemplated this, "If it helps, Levi."

"Good."

"You want me with you just for this?"

He took a beat to respond, "No. Not entirely." Levi shifted, head tipping to the side to consider her better.

She smiled, "because you like spending time with me."

"Don't make me regret saying that, Zoe."

Levi sat up, heaved himself off the bed, stooping to pull on his pants, leaving his shirt unbuttoned, rifling in her drawers. She frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"As soon as I find some Black Tea, Zoe, I'll go make a cup."

"What, do you think I keep them in my drawers?"

"Well where are the leaves, then? Don't you get perks or some shit?" He asked, continuing his foraging.

"Levi, I fold things for a reason."

"Oh, please, if you call this folding, then you might be blind," Levi held up a shirt, giving her a long look.

Zoe narrowed her eyes, but stood as well. "If we go down to the kitchens, there will be some."

So they did, passing only a few people, the darkness enough for Levi not to be identified. He picked the lock, and Zoe gave a small sigh. At least he hadn't changed in this sense. He reached behind him, catching her hand, pulling her after him. Levi shut the door after him, Zoe pulling against his direction, suddenly nervous to be doing this, because if there was something she wasn't good at, it was going against the norm; the norm being rules and the like.

"What are you doing?"

"Levi, I-Are we supposed to be down here?"

"Is this your first time breaking rules, I mean, shit, Zoe," Levi turned, looking at her. "Calm down. I've got you."

She flushed, followed him, twitching at every noise. He stopped suddenly, and she bumped into him, loud squeak barely covered with her own hands. Levi shook his head, stepped in, even as he leaned back, tugging her close as he settled against the wall. Zoe allowed him to kiss her, soft nature of it melting her just a bit, nerves relaxing as his hands slid over her skin, shirt ruffled.

Her hum came when he turned them, pressed her against the wall, and she pulled back to say, "What, you wanna fuck me again?" His hands pushed up under her shirt, smirk just visible. She liked it when he let his hands rove like that, just fuck, they were warm, and she was so, so here for this. Nerves were out the window, if there was one down here, she didn't care.

"This working for you?" he breathed, and she slapped him around the head as well she could. He caught her lips in a hard kiss, and the hand she'd used to cuff him served as a place in his hair.

Eventually he pulled away, pushing her in front of him, hands at her hips. Once, he wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up. She kicked out, hiding her laughs with indignation, hand moving around the back of his neck, holding her self stable, though he used this to maneuver his was properly into the kitchen, setting her down, and stealing another kiss, before they settled into search for tea.

He put the pot on just before she found it, triumphant noise attracting his attention. "Shit, I can't find any tea worth this much. Next chance I get, I'll squeeze something out of those fuckers in the Merchant's Association."

They sat at the table in the kitchen, a lone candle in the middle, Levi's leg resting warm next to hers. He found fruit, and an actual pastry, cut it up with the knife she bought him. She teased him about having that, and he waved it off, setting sliced apple wedges on a napkin, cutting himself the larger half of the pastry. Zoe argued, but he stole half of her slice, giving her a pointed look.

"Really?"

"I am a poor, poor Scout regiment troop."

"Oh hush." But she didn't try to win it back.

"So, what do you do as...Commander if the Military Police?" Levi asked, leaning back in his chair, arm hanging over the back, looking comfortable. "Card games? Do you distribute cards? Another card joke?"

"Instead of a shit joke?"

Levi considered that, looking up briefly to the ceiling, then nodded. "Yea."

Zoe shook her head, "It's not much, really. And technically I'm going to be demoted soon. Save your card jokes."

"I don't have much, honestly," Levi shrugged with his words, sipping his tea. "There's a limited amount of shit I can say when it comes to cards."

"I'm sure you'd find more to mess with Nile."

"I can source a hell of alot more if I'm going to fuck with Nule, Zoe."

"Nile."

"Nule, and you know it. You're going to say it one day."

"No, I'm not, actually."

He snorted, eyebrow jumping, "Sure. And has Nule been fucking with you. You want me to beat him up?"

"I can fight my own battles, Levi," she said, lips twisting down, remembering how he'd snapped at her during Cadet training.

"Yea, I know, doesn't mean I can't hold him down while you kick the shit out of him," he muttered, shrugging, looking away from her. "Anyways, I think the command suits you."

She raised her eyebrows, "I don't get that joke."

"It's not a joke, Zoe."

She twiddled her thumbs, cheeks warming a good amount, eventually shifting, putting her nail in her mouth. Levi watched her, and she took it out, chewing instead on her bottom lip, hearing her heart beat as much as she felt it. What was she supposed to say to that? And he was staring at her, making her swallow hard.

"Well, it's...tiring," she finally managed.

He gave a sigh, "You're hotter than Erwin when it comes down to it, so."

"Okay, thanks, let's go with that."

"You're welcome. But, frankly, everyone's better looking than blondie, I mean, his eyebrows are ridiculous. And he's a creepy guy." Levi shook his head, looked up at the ceiling, "Dunno why I trust that-But I do, so. He's a damn good Commander; true to the cause. Not like Nule."

"True."

"I...honestly don't think I've ever had that kind of-" his sigh was heavier, and he set his elbows on the table, face resting in his hand. "Everyone knows that he'll...send them off, without a second thought, if he thinks it'll benefit the greater good. Doesn't matter. He's got more guts than I do. His decisions are much more clear cut than mine, usually better, it's difficult-Fuck it. That shitbag, making me sociable," He scoffed, raising a hand. "Sitting here, with you."

"Hmm. What did you say once? To me."

His eyebrows knit together. "What?"

"I'd like it more if I was fucking you."

He looked away. "Yea."

"Yea."

"Well." Levi tapped his finger on the table. "I said a lot of stupid stuff."

She shrugged, changed subject, though she wished he'd say sorry. Plainly. But that was asking a lot when it came to Levi. In her experience, he was never sorry, but she was tied up in them, in an idea of a future with someone who made her happy. Zoe was alone, and so was he.

* * *

**844**

* * *

_"Why is she coming with us?" Isabel squawked, mouth turned down in a slash._

_"Because she is his lover, Isabel, my young chap," Farlan said, over exaggerating a posh accent, waving his finger grandly._

_Levi glared, and his friends laughed, Isabel ducking to put her face in her hands. Farlan fixed his pretend monocle._

_"Big bro, you're so moody."_

_Zoe waved, and Levi let Farlan wave back, hailing her with a large smile. Isabel's smile disappeared, and she crossed her arms over her chest, Zoe coming to rest by him, tucking her curls over one ear, bandage on her wrist where she'd accidentally nicked herself on a blade. He let his eyes travel over her, skirt just brushing the tops of her knees, socks covering some distance, customary vest and button up in place as well. Levi had to say he liked her in casual better, mostly because it provided ease of access._

_"Since you're clothes shopping with us," Farlan said, "maybe you can make Isabel look like a girl."_

_Isabel's nose scrunched up, and she slapped Farlan, the four of them walking in an odd, shifting group, the southern district of Wall Sina obviously focusing on textiles. The factories were inside of the wall, and the district, singularly, held more clothes than he'd thought possible. And all a hundred times more fancy then his friends had ever seen, Farlan a bit more excited than Isabel, it seemed._

_Farlan actually found himself a monocle, pretending to curl a mustache, mimicking the shop proprietor, completely oblivious to this, focusing on the rich people. Isabel tried this as well, though the stocky owner had turned, saw her, eyes narrowing. A loud 'ehem' made both of his friends freeze, Zoe ducking her head as if to indicate that she was, in fact, not with these weirdos._

_Levi looked on, watched Farlan attempt to talk his way out of it, settling on the wall, close to Zoe. He reached, touched the small of her back. She gave a jerk, eyes wide when she saw him, then she relaxed, and he tugged her closer, knew she was watching him as he let his eyes really peruse over her. Zoe smiled, though she didn't look at him, just kept her eyes on her shoes._

_Isabel and Farlan were released, and they continued out of the shop. Farlan directed Isabel into a dress shop, laughing as the female fitter shook her head, told his friend that she needed to stand still. Another woman tugged Zoe over, and Levi watched, trying to blot out Farlan's choked laughter, tears streaming down his friend as Isabel wrestled her way into a corset, the noises from behind the folding divider just enough to make that inference._

_Zoe was considerably more graceful, though, and she was just visible in a reflection, so he watched unabashedly. His fingers drummed a rhythm on the side of his face, mouth parting enough for one to meet his tongue, other on his teeth, watching her turn, the lace tied, tight under-garment enough for him, though she should roll with that. Didn't need all the frilly additions, white/peach, whatever that fucking color scheme was._

_Then his shook his head. He preferred her naked._

_Zoe called for help, and he rose, walking in the path of the woman fitter, ignoring her attempt to call him back. He stepped in, saw the surprise on her face. holding the back ties just enough to show the effect to him._

_"You like it?"_

_Fuck, he fucking loved it on her, even if it was too gaudy, and expensive, looking incredibly unnecessary to even have around. Levi wasn't going to tell her that. He leaned back against the wall, face impassive, black hair tickling his face, reminding him he needed to get a hair cut. Zoe's fingers started twisting together, and he continued the silence._

_Levi shrugged, saying, "I'd it more if I was fucking you." It was a stupid thing to say, didn't really make any sense, and he saw the little sag it caused._

_"Oh."_

_"Come on. This detour is taking too long anyways."_

_He apologized in his own way later, though he wasn't sure if she understood that he had. Still, him tossing her a flower on the ride back to the Regiment center made her smile, though it was strained. The phrase was childish, . Levi glared at the wall for a good while before he contemplated letting himself fall asleep, thinking about things he could've said that didn't make her look so disheartened._

_Moron._

_Isabel popped her head over the top of the bunk bed. Farlan's snores were hard to hear over, but he still caught the jist of, "what did you say to her that made her look sad?"_

_"None of your business."_

_"Um, actually it is."_

_"Why do you care?"_

_Isabel pouted,talking out of the corner of her mouth, "because she cares about you. I thought she didn't, was like that Lei girl, who makes fun of me nonstop. But she's pretty nice. And kind of like me. Except, she's really...awkward, and surprisingly okay to be around. Thought she was like, from inside wall Sina. A lot of them are. But, apparently, she used to live down near Trost District. On a farm. And she told me that she had actual dogs, not like the ones down in the underground. And cows. I've never seen a cow. Wouldn't that be cool, big bro?"_

_He shrugged._

_"Well. I like her now. So, you can continue on dating her."_

_"I don't care whether you like her or not." That was another lie. "And I'm not 'dating' her. Doesn't mean anything. Just like it doesn't mean anything if you like her."_

_"You're lying."_

_"Yea, I am, moron, now hush up. You need sleep." Levi didn't have time to clarify which one he was lying about._

_She made a noise, but he heard her little snuffles join Farlan's snores. Levi breathed in. Breathed out._

* * *

_And all the pain the world cause; She be healing that shit, (...) and you just wanna tell her everything she might need, but in the mean time it's lights please._


	8. Nule

_I-I-I-I-I need a minute, cold water to the face._

* * *

Darius Zacklay. She knew there weren't any fancy speeches that could sway his opinion. That opinion, that rested on the kid's detriment, or help to humankind. She sat in front of her top men, Nile directly to her left. Zoe reflected that Levi called him Nule. To his face, and behind his back, so he really covered all angles with that little insult.

She was going to let Nule handle it to a point, because his opinion was always the most widely shared, as a past and soon to be present, commander. And he was no doubt going to be backed by the Merchant Association, and possibly the Wall chauvinists. Both of these groups she had historically not gotten along with, more so with the wall people, because, possibly, the wall mounted cannons could've helped in Wall Maria's case. Her brother's, by association.

"So," Zoe said, as soon as her cup of tea was set in front of her, very obviously pushing it aside, and clunking a heavier cup on the table, making sure the men saw the alcohol, taking a good time to pour it before sighing heavy, and rolling her eyes. "what do the masses influence today?"

Nule gazed at her alcohol, not looking very amused, but it was his fault that he'd taken leave to care for his child. And here she was, usurping his position, as well as his alcohol. With a good amount of bravada. Though, technically, it was Pixis', having just caught him in their suddenly shared 'morning walk', telling him Nule's plan. She'd heard it the night before, just between the two of them, but now, it was time for the popularity contest to show again in his favor.

"Eren Yeager poses a serious threat to the-"

"Ahhhh, no; don't fuck with me, Nile, I know you can wheedle on about the king, but please. To the point." While her leadership skills had considerably increased, Zoe was still a woman, and her stature was nothing incredibly imposing. One of her previous captains had actually laughed, thinking that Nile Dok had brought a prostitute to the meeting room. Of course, this had been during her first year in any power position, and she'd still had, what LEvi called, her cutsie curls, as well as her dress being a bit tighter.

"Fine: The crackpots in the Scout Regiment," Nule's start was heralded by chuckles of agreement. "want him. And his powers pose a threat to the King, and residents inside Wall Sina."

"An uprising could be orchestrated," A captain said, leaning forward.

"Which, is why, we will kill him before that happens," Nule said.

"And if they do, by some miracle, win?" She asked.

mutters of dissent, and a couple hissed curses under their breath, rolled around

Nule's mouth gaped for an instant, then he let his hand fall, uncurling from a fist, speed broken so he wouldn't slam it to hard, "We have to keep an eye on him. That's what. And we'll win, of course we will."

A sergeant raised his hand for a brief second before saying, "Nile, you were with the REgiment before, yes? Doesn't Erwin have a good relationship with Zacklay?"

"Yes, but as you know, he takes facts, more than evaluating relationships."

"But at the worst," A different captain spoke. "if they have him, how will we keep up?"

Zoe sat forward, "I'll go with them. If they take Yeager. Report back every three days."

"And they'll agree to that?" Nile asked.

"I trained with Captain Levi for a good stretch of time. He'll agree. As well as Erwin, due to my benefit."

Nile grimaced, speaking quickly, "And if you die?"

"Nile, I didn't know you cared about me like that."

His look soured considerably, "Of course I don't want you to die, Roth, I do respect you to an extent."

"And I as well," she said, conceding with a tiny smile. "But, as we know, the Central Government has been sending some of us into Titan Territory. While not explaining this, it's provided me with practice, and I am fairly sure that Nathan, Jay, and I are the only ones who were top in our training class."

Nathan nodded, a smirk on his face, Jay's confidence hidden like hers was, at points. She actually had to display it now, so it was quite a feat. And Nathan was a borderline monster in the field, brutality unmatched, whether to soldiers who messed up, or Titans. Same with her, to a lesser extent, as she had been known to deliver stanch punishment to a subordinate who didn't follow command, followed out by Nathan. There wasn't supposed to be mistakes; they were elite, and if the day ever came to them facing Titans, a single mistake could cost all of them their lives.

"So; if the Scout REgiment succeeds, I will be there, if their failure results to lose control over everyone. And of course, Levi-"

"Rivaille?" Bernard sat up a bit straighter, the title used for respect, she was sure.

"Yes. Levi has given a suitable threat, and we all know about his skill level."

Murmurs of agreement flooded over the table. Even Nule nodded.

"But still, Nule-Nile," She waved her hand rapidly to brush away the mistake she made with Nile Dok, out of everyone, seeing Nathan's cheeks suddenly balloon and he fell forward, face red.

A good majority of the table was laughing as quietly as they could, but when Nathan broke, his loud laugh shuddering out, it shifted up another stage. Nule's gaze locked in one direction, waiting till the laughter was gone, though Nathan was wheezing, a hand over his stomach. The fairly large, handsome red-head waved his hand, hardly able to speak, tears streaming down his face, but a semblance of a sorry was managed.

"Anyways, Nile," she said, very careful with her pronunciation of his name, talking louder as Nathan gave a bark of laughter clapped his hand over his mouth to really shut himself up. "You'll give your statement, and if worst comes to worst…"

"Then you'll offer to go."

"Exactly."

"And command?"

"I suppose...I'll go back to being second." It was much better than being first. She couldn't handle the pressure, even if she'd only been at this for six months at the most. Fuck trying to get a handle on it, being proactive, some shit like that. She'd much rather be elsewhere.

* * *

Nathan kept pace to the side of her, "That was your plan from the start, wasn't it?"

"Are you referring to me not backing Nile's plan at all? And giving my support to the Scouts when Levi was finished beating the shit out of that kid."

"You know, Commander, you're a hell of alot craftier than people give you credit for."

"Thank you, Nathan."

He chuckled, hands behind his head, cracking a large smile. "A lot cuter as well, when you're not stiff as shit, at those meetings, yea, Zoe? Maybe you should stay, and we could go out for a drink, or something. I'm totally into your skill level, doesn't turn me off," he said, just as Levi turned the corner, obviously having heard it, leveling a cold look at Nathan. "You in for it?" Nathan was oblivious to it, as usual, his confidence lightyears ahead of hers.

And she didn't sleep with subordinates, although Nathan was, as the females said, a hot piece of ass. Also, an absolute bee when it came from bouncing from woman to woman. Along with the fact that this advance was _another_ indicator that he didn't take her as seriously as she'd like. So.

"Oi, Zoe," Levi spoke, removing her from the awkward moment, just due to the fact she still could hardly operate when someone tried to do anything out of her job description. For example, drinking, food, or clothes; she couldn't operate around some people. "Just over here."

Zoe attempted to say something, but Levi's boot tapped once against the floor, and she looked away from Nathan, pointing over her shoulder at him. "I've gotta-. Go, over there, um-"

"What, no answer?" Nathan asked, smile still confident, and she wondered how he could do it.

"Captain," Levi's voice was harsher now. "Maybe you should consider how appropriate your conversation is with your Commander."

Nathan cut his eyes to Levi, smile dropping into a sneer. "Really? I don't think it's your business." Zoe knew how Nathan had boasted once, drunk, of course, that he could beat out Levi in the battlefield, and honestly, she didn't think that was correct. "Zoe, it's up to you, yea?" His smile was genuine, actually inviting, and she'd might have been swayed by it in any other condition, and if Levi hadn't invited her along with him.

Levi stepped up, ear right next to her head, his arm going around her waist once, then resting light on her lower back, pushing her away. Zoe risked a glance back, and his arm went around her waist again, but she still saw dumb amazement on Nathan's face. Especially when Levi leaned close, made to whisper in her ear, hand squeezing at her hip.

"You wanna fuck him, fine," he breathed. "but I'll be watching. And then I'll fuck you better than him, won't I?" As soon as he turned the corner, he practically spun her into the wall, a sharp little yelp falling from her lips, his head tipped down, the expression mirroring the earlier one, when he was kicking Eren. "Won't I?"

"Yes, Levi." She nodded, leaning up to him, but he twitched away. Zoe felt fairly injured. "What?"

"Come on."

He walked away, letting her follow him. Erwin was walking from the other direction, Hanji bolting ahead, almost hitting Levi. He jerked away, lip pulling up in a sneer, hissing something about shitty, and then a more audible 'four-eyes' as she got closer. His commander raised a brief hand in greeting, stopping to let her soldiers out, and they halted as well.

Levi gave them both a fairly annoyed glance, "Hurry up," he snapped, before walking into the room, heavy oak door slamming after him.

She resisted an eye roll, looking to the men, "Station 4 at either ends of this hallway, as well as increasing guard on the stairway. No one gets on this level without me knowing, are we clear? Consult with Nathan and Nile," one of the men gave a snort, the misnomer obviously broadcast in a wide radius, "if you need anymore instruction."

Sharp nods, and they jogged off. She opened the door, just as Levi sat, scaring the kid again. Mike stood by the window, heralding her appearance with a short nod, though Zoe was fairly sure he'd smelled her. Or whatever he did. It was all very murky, and she wasn't looking to probe deeper, amused by Levi's position on the couch, arm stretched out.

"So, Eren," Levi started, cutting his eyes to the kid, as Eren held his position, leaning away from him.

"Yes?" Eren stammered.

Levi tipped his head to him, asking, "Do you resent me?"

"No," his response was still stumbled over, Levi obviously inspiring a good amount of fear. "I realize it was all an act you had to put on."

"Good, then," Levi looked away, eyes closing, before he looked over to her, patting the space still left on the couch.

"You could've held back a bit," Hanji said, alcohol swab landing in a nearby bin, tugging something out to rest on her palm. "He lost a tooth. See?" The cloth was open now, a single, bloody tooth resting there.

"Don't pick it up," Levi's frown was back in place. "It's disgusting."

"This is a valuable sample."

"Eren, wasn't that preferable to getting dissected," He timed it perfectly, tugging her down to rest beside him, "by these guys?"

Zoe scoffed, "I vouched for you people."

"You people?" Levi looked at her, hand shifting off his lap, instead onto hers.

"I'm not like them," Hanji said, and Levi's attention was on her, frown unwavering as she leaned close. "I wouldn't kill Eren." Zoe picked her head up, frowning as Hanji definitely omitted the dissecting part. "Eren, let me see inside your mouth."

Eren took a beat, then leaned forward, opening his mouth for Hanji. The woman made a surprised noise. Zoe tipped forward, wondering what it was, and even Levi moved, though his treatment of Hanji was hardly kind. Especially when it came to his interest in her field studies.

"It's already growing back," She said, words slow, brows knitting up briefly.

"Well," Levi moved Eren's head so he could look himself. "you can go write a report about that."

Hanji started. "Ah! I actually do have-OH, I almost forgot, Commander Erwin, may I-" She was already backing towards the door, just as one of her squad members peeped in.

"Of course," Erwin said, raising a quick hand as a send off.

She was already gone, and Levi gave a short huff, eyes raising once to the ceiling, then back on Eren. "What position were you in, in your Cadet class?"

"Top Ten," Eren said.

"And you weren't going to join the Military Police?" Zoe said, expression twisting up, so she made sure it even looked like a joke.

Eren shook his head wildly, and Erwin laughed, Mike even turning around for that. Levi's hand shifted, sliding slow over her inner thigh, shaking his head. Erwin's chuckle was the last to remain.

"Thank you for your addition, as well, Commander Roth," Erwin gave her a nod. "Even for a low Scout Regiment Commander-"

"Really, Commander Smith? You're older than me, altogether a better Commander, strategies leagues ahead, and you've been serving for a longer time, so, please. I'm at this level because Nule-"

Levi twitched, hand tightening on her thigh, clearing his throat, whispered curses following it. Erwin looked confused, as well as Eren, and Mike's face was fairly pink, gazing out the window to avoid eye contact otherwise. She shook her head, waving her mistake away again, hating Levi for repeating it to this point, the shit head, she was going to be calling Nile that for the rest of time.

"I'm sorry," Levi said, as he sat still, face impassive again. "I just thought I'd never hear you say it."

"Yes, well, it came up during a meeting."

Levi's eyes were wide, and he stared forward, drumming his fingers on his leg as he fought a smirk. Erwin tapped his watch, nodding towards Mike, then Eren. The tall man walked fast, waving his hands to get Eren up.

"Where-?" Eren tried.

"Rest, and then, tomorrow, you'll be leaving with Squad Levi. Sorry for it being so sudden, I lost track of time." Erwin's smile was short. "And the Military Police are-" he was cut off as Nathan bulldozed his way in, Nile at his side. Levi looked away from them, shoulders shaking for a moment, and Nile didn't seem happy to be in the room with Erwin and Levi, Mike blocking him from being too rough with Eren.

As soon as the door was closed, Levi turned to her, "You did?" he whispered. "How did he look?"

Zoe bit her lip, then responded, "Fairly let down."

"Fucking amazing, Zoe. Perfect, yea?"

"Oh," she flushed, looking around, happy that only Erwin was there, knew that was the reason Levi's mouth was taking another direction.

Erwin waved his hand, smile large. "He's usually lulled by time spent with you, so. Not very different."

"Hey." Levi's expression fell, and he narrowed his eyes. "Erwin, I thought we had an agreement."

"Oh, has he?" Zoe said, knowing Levi was a stretch more comfortable with Erwin than anyone, so there had to be good stories somewhere.

The tall Commander seemed to be in a good mood, though his calm demeanor usually translated in two ways. He pulled up a chair, and Levi narrowed his eyes further, till he peered out between a small slit. Still, Erwin situated himself, not perturbed in the slightest by Levi's gaze, brushing himself off, in a way that amused her, a bit odd, which didn't sway her attitude, as all this realization was doing was confirming rumors. Rumors being that Erwin was a strange guy.

"Well, let's see. While he might think he conceals emotion well, I fully notice his mood changes after we've been in Wall Sina. His cleaning criticism is a touch less harsh, and when I say a touch less, I mean he doesn't make new recruits piss themselves."

Levi rolled his eyes up and away, pressed close still. Erwin recounted a stint, over 3 solid months in Wall Sina (a good time after Wall Maria's destruction), where most of her time was spent in his room. She remembered him actually outsing a, then fellow, squad mate out of the house shared, just due to the amount of noise he was forcing out of her. The last straw had been when the woman caught them on the couch, though it was more of her aversion to Levi's refusal for any modesty.

Erwin counted the number of months they'd been in Wall Sina, totaling it to three years, just barely. Levi was still glaring at him, but it was lessening, his body relaxing into hers, a sharp smile touching his lips when Erwin mentioned something, conversation dwindling to outright lewd, Levi's mouth as filthy as usual . The Commander asked them when it'd all began, after sitting through another shit joke, because even he hadn't been able to wring it out of Levi. Which was amazing, because Erwin knew more about him than she did, a result of 6 years at each other's sides.

Levi shrugged, receding back into silence, hand tensing on her leg. His foot moved, slow, measured, like a cat's tail.

"What?" Zoe asked. "Why are you clamming up?"

"Nothing," Levi stood. "Zoe, let's go, yea?" His eyes flicked to Erwin. "I suppose the full details will be given at a point."

Erwin gave a nod.

"Watch your constipation, Erwin," Levi said, walked, opening the door for her, and Zoe turned as soon as he closed it, putting herself in his way. He avoided her eyes, trying to step around her, but Zoe shifted, hand still stationed over his abdomen, keeping him in front of her. Finally, he halted his efforts, head bowing, one of his hands closing around hers, meeting her eyes.

"I just; I was pretty awful to you. Shit, all the stuff I said; Only excuse I have is that, maybe, I was growing up. And all that-," he murmured, almost flinching. "And, Zoe, I'm no good, just in general. I'll be away, and you'll be…. Someone else would be better."

"And who's that?" She asked, eyebrows raising.

"I dunno, the redhead," he rolled his eyes as he said it, "fuck, I don't know, you're supposed to figure this out yourself."

"No, I mean," she took a large breath, realizing she'd never said 'I love you' to his face, just thought it so much that it'd been commonplace. "despite all the shit that you do, if I had the choice, when I'm alone, I'd rather be with you, I suppose." She fidgeted, wondering why it was harder for her to say it, hoping she wasn't red, twisting her fingers in a old habit she thought she'd shirked, along with the panic attacks. "So. Yea." Her eyes wavered from his.

Her heart gave a jump, and she wondered where he'd been after her brother had gone out to die. Wished he had stayed with her, held her through everything, but Levi didn't like doing that, or having that done to him. He was a firm believer in sticking it out, carrying the load by himself, be strong for everyone who couldn't, which was a huge contrast to the attitude he'd had 6 years had concerned himself only with Isabel and Farlan. And she didn't know what happened to them, veering from the worst case.

Levi's fingers drew soft up her arm, and she looked up to him.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Levi, how many people have you heard say they'd willingly spend more time with you after 3 years?"

"Erwin. Sometimes Mike, Hanji, but I don't want to spend anytime with four-eyes. And then, in the underground-yea."

"Well, I suppose you can add me to that list."

"I don't have one."

"...And there's the reason why. It's a saying."

"I know, I just want to annoy you."

* * *

_Whatcha mean, I ain't romantic? I bought you flowers, so what they plastic? We could fuck for hours, so what I'm nasty?_


	9. Captain

_Are we dating? Are we fucking? __Are we best friends? Are we something in between that?__I wish we never fucked, and I mean that; but not really. _

_You say the nastiest shit in bed and it's fucking awesom**e.**_

* * *

Zoe lead her horse forward, yawning widely, turning to the well, cranking the water up. She checked the temperature bringing some to her mouth before she offered it to her horse. While the mare was distracted, she brushed over its coat, the effort taking an hour or less, and she returned with her horse to the stables, finding her gear already prepped by her troops.

She jerked on gloves, nodding as the medic told her what to do, Sjeh tipping her face up to hers, and Zoe watched Sjeh for the duration of her speech. When the woman was finished, Zoe ducked around her horse, jostling the saddle there, making sure everything was on properly. Zoe checked her uniform, the 3D movement gear barely shifting as she lifted her knees, satisfied everything was in place.

Zoe swung up on her horse, stabbing her booted feet into the stirrups, and urging the horse forward. Erwin and Levi stood by the gate, along with Eren, the blonde man looking up first. She swung her horse around as soon as she was close to the two men, casting a look to Yeager, avoiding Levi's eyes for the moment, unsure as to what their actions were to be around each other despite his actions the other day.

The kid didn't seem to know what to do as she looked at him, her horse prancing nervously. She jerked on the reins, and the horse halted, tail giving a flick. Yeager went with a salute, stammering over his words, and Zoe made a noise, turning her back to him, focusing her gaze on Erwin.

"The rest of your troop?"

"Will join up with up. Levi's hand-picked squad will accompany you there directly."

"Hmm," she considered the leather reins, shaking her hair out slightly before pushing it back again from her face, the buzzcut similar to others, though she'd lopped off one side, mostly. "right."

Levi kept beside her as they traveled along a trail, the castle just visible. He wasn't particularly chatty, but the people he was with were talkative enough. She recognized Erd, and stationed herself near him for another good chunk of the ride, the silence beside him less...tense, she supposed. Auruo bit his tongue along the way, and his head jerked away from Eren, chortles trickling down his squad mates.

"Zoe," Levi said, voice managing to reach her ears. "Come here." he jerked his chin up.

She caught them looking her way as she paused, waiting for Levi to come level with her. He looked disinterested, even as she asked him why he'd asked her back, waiting for his squad to turn around. Levi shifted a bit closer to her, eyes flickering up the length of her horse, then to her injured leg.

"Have you got that looked at?" he asked.

"Sounding like that isn't going to get you an answer."

He rolled his eyes off to the side, almost pouting, bristling when Erd turned slightly. The man snapped his focus back on the path ahead, and Levi brought his gaze back to her, pushing his hair from his forehead, the effort futile. Zoe waited for Levi to restate his question, giving him a smile, knowing that her smugness was almost palpable. Levi straightened, called out to his squad, directing them forward into the courtyard.

Zoe started that was as well, but Levi's hand flew out, stopping her. "You'd better not die, Zoe," he muttered. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," she gave a quick nod. "same to you."

He gave her a dead pan look, swinging off his horse as he walked into the clearing, weed covered tile muffling the horse's footsteps. She guided hers to a stand as well, patting her hand on it's cheek in an awkward way that didn't make her unnamed horse happy, watching Levi's hands make quick work, securing his mount to the post next to hers. His hand smoothed slow over the horse's flank, brought his eyes to hers. Zoe had been looking around, frowning before she crossed her arms over her chest, wondering where his two friends were, the ones who'd been around him during Training.

"What?" he asked.

"I mean," she said. "I don't see Isabel or Farlan."

Levi's hands fisted at his side. "Dead."

"Oh." Zoe stepped a bit closer, reaching to one of his fists, easing it open. She didn't move any more, didn't try to speak, touch anywhere besides his hand, open in one of hers, a finger skimming along his tough palm. If he was going to tell her anything, he'd do it when he wanted to, but she _wished_ he'd have told her sooner, told her the first time he visited the Capital.

She knew not to try to coddle him. That hugging him tight wasn't going to do anything, because Levi wasn't a physical kind of person when it came to PDA in general. The slight things he'd done yesterday had been with people he had been near for a wide stretch of times. And he'd hardly done too much.

But still. This was enough. For him, she thought.

Levi's brow relaxed, and he moved his hand to clasp hers for a second. A little nod followed, before he tipped his head away, dismissing the matter for the time being. He pulled his hand out of hers, and headed towards the castle, scowl back in place. Zoe glanced to Petra and Auruo, arguing about the event on the trail, the man's tongue hanging out as he attempted to display his injury.

Levi walked forward, looking increasingly more bothered and twitchy as his gaze swept over the messy state of the castle. In the short time he'd trained with her, Levi had taken the cleaning days with a **large** degree of seriousness, so this had to be high up on his annoyance scale. Zoe laughed, and he glared, coming up behind Erd and Gunther, expressing his views on the state of the castle.

They split up, mostly two to a large room, Levi walking along next to her, picking room after room to clean. He tugged a white cloth over his mouth, snapping a window open, looking back at her, watching her work. Zoe gave him a tiny smile as he passed close, expanding on this movement as he stopped, fingers gliding over the curve of her neck, humming her appreciation.

"So, what, do I have to call you Captain Levi here?" she murmured, practically purring as he continued his ministrations, tucking her hair over her ear. "Or would that be too hot?"

He shook his head, arms wrapping around her very briefly, head ducked to press in the crook of her neck. "You know you're sleeping in my room tonight. Thought I should make that very clear, Zoe Roth."

"No lieutenant commander?"

"For the most part, you're under my command now."

Zoe sighed, accompanying the noise with a nod. His hands briefly crept up, kneading at her breasts, and she elbowed him, hearing the amused huff he gave in place of a laugh. Levi set a hand on his hip, eyes flicking to hers. She bounced close for an instant, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, watching him jerk forward, expecting her to prolong it, looking almost injured when she didn't.

He caught her, and kissed her properly, catching the bucket as it tipped from a shelf. Zoe was fairly impressed, though she didn't have time to dwell on it, as Levi had taken to correcting her cleaning mistakes. She had experience dealing with his neurotic tendencies on her side, along with the sex card, but the latter wasn't working on him. His eyes swept over everyroom before they left it, handkerchief down around his neck, Zoe almost tugging him away from it before he tried to find a way to 'clean the air'

Levi found a rather barricaded door, the wood rotting in certain places, and after giving it a couple shoves, he stepped back, motioning that she do the same as he pulled up his handkerchief, striding the two steps needed to get him in perfect place before kicking out, door cracking in half. He shoved the debris away from the broken door, and she brought the soap and bucket into the room behind him. Zoe didn't usually do that part of the cleaning job, or cleaning in general, because she was a high up in the Military Police; thus she had people to do it for her.

"I can't-" Levi started, cut himself off, stepping forward. "Get a bag and the new recruit, or something, we're taking all this shit out into the woods, then get someone to take it to the sawmill, make some use of it; the good wood, at least, not this rotten shit."

As long as she didn't have to do this part, she was okay with being near the cleaning monster. Eren didn't look happy as he was loaded down with a bag, then another bag when he came back, a bed frame strapped to him next. Levi had the drawers and a moldering chest out in the hallway for the kid, arms crossed over his chest as Eren staggered down the small flight of stairs, snapping at him when it tipped dangerously.

"Keep it together, brat."

A croaked, "yessir," was managed before Eren wobbled his way out the doors of the castle.

"He was in the top ten of his class," she said, looking up from her cleaning spot,

"Well he can't clean worth a shit."

"Levi, that's not apart of the curriculum."

"I think it could be; you should talk to the higher ups for me. I might punch one of them in the throat."

"Nile?"

"I can't believe he's allowed to command the Military Police, let alone breath the same air I do," Levi said, making a small 'tch' noise, and his sweeping became fevered for a beat before he found something else to add. "You were a better Commander, I heard Erwin say."

"You can't seem to compliment me without adding in Erwin or some other entity."

"I didn't really mean to do so, Zoe, I just think Erwin is a better source."

"Well, I suppose you have that point."

"Not saying that eyebrows is amazing."

"Okay."

"He has constipation, and you don't."

"Levi, you don't have to-"

"I can tell you about how he was bedridden because of that. Funniest shit I've ever seen."

She looked to see a hint of amusement, but Levi's expression was it's flat, semi-irritated norm.

Zoe shook her head before she spoke around her smile, "I think that wasn't a good thing at all."

"He didn't listen to me when I told him to not eat the stew that Hanji made, because four-eyes can't cook worth a shit..."

She could hardly explain the feeling that was in her heart, and didn't look for the name, listening to him give cutting insults to people who weren't there. Zoe knew this was his version of telling her about his day, or days, and she liked that he was opening up to her here, like he did in the own space of his bed. Back in training, he'd never talked about his feelings, never mind his feelings towards other people. Usually, she was left in the dark about a myriad of Levi's interactions with the world.

He stopped talking abruptly, surprising her as he asked, "What is it?"

"What-what is what?"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"It's just...you make me feel good."

"What the hell does that mean, Zoe?" He asked, tipping his head to the side, eyebrows creasing his forehead. His expression shifted abruptly, a smirk crawling over his lips. "Do you mean sex? Fuckin' one track mind."

She felt her cheeks heat up, snapping, "look who's talking; it's not about sex, okay." Zoe breathed out, focusing on her work before repeating the phrase, "You make me feel good."

He scoffed, returning to cleaning the window, "You make me feel good, too."

They moved to another room, Levi using a stepping stool to reach higher, though it was fairly sad when she couldn't do the same. Levi stuck her with changing out the sheets, checking over his and her work, looking fairly satisfied. When he came to her folding job, he frowned, holding up the square chunk of cloth, gazing over at her.

"No."

She rolled her eyes started to walk out of the room, saying, "Fine. Captain Levi." heard the little noise he made, turned. "So, it's too hot?"

He held up two fingers, hardly an inch apart, deadpan expression making it a bit better. She smiled, stepping forward to continue out.

Eren moved past her, and Zoe halted, stalling her progress out of the room. Levi talked briefly to Eren, pressing the cloth now around his neck down. Zoe was amused to see he was shorter than Eren, then took in the fact that she was shorter than him, and rolled her eyes, wishing she lived up the the picture her achievements put forth. But still. She was underestimated, and it did give for more of a surprise.

Levi walked past her, going to check the rooms Eren had cleaned. Petra walked by her, giving her a little wave Zoe didn't refute, watching Levi, knowing that little spasm of annoyance. She covered her mouth, laughing to herself, pushing into the room occupied by the two people, knowing Levi would come back.

Petra had been saying something about Levi's history in the underground, and looked to Zoe to back up the information.

She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest, "I don't know everything about him." She'd hardly spoken to any of these people, and wasn't looking to try this out. Actually, she did know about that time, almost better than Erwin, but Levi wasn't inclined to speak on it as well. He'd just come out of the underground when he and her met, and he'd been an absolute ass. Still annoyingly better than her at 3D movements, and good-looking. Apparently, the taboo around being near him was lessened when she was stuck with her being his partner.

Eren seemed to be finding something to say along those lines when Levi almost stalked back in, brow darkened, the cloth that served as a bonnet lessening the glare he fixed on him. "You call that clean?" Levi finished his progress into the room. "redo everything."

The boy did, and Levi checked again, looking fit to burst as it didn't measure up to his standards once more. Zoe was washing a window outside one of the rooms Eren was redoing, watching him police the kid. Briefly, she thought over the plans: 30 days here, then they were going to head outside the wall to build supply outposts, guessed they'd be kept here on stand by. She swung slightly as a breeze pushed her, noticing Levi waving her back in.

Zoe stationed her chair around the table, close to Levi with his position at the head of the table. She allowed Eren to ask questions of her throughout the course of dinner, as Levi shot down most of his queries, though hers were just as clipped. Auruo started in with the questions teetering on the level of her and Levi, which Levi blocked, revving up before he dived into the sex questions.

"Is the Captain kinky? I feel like he is, but I want to confirm it."

Levi nailed him with a fork, ignoring his injured noise.

"I was just asking," the man attempted, pouting there in his chair.

"Well don't ask," Levi said, hooking his knee over the other one, taking a calm sip from his cup.

She raised her eyebrows, shaking her head, a leg tucked under her. Levi began discussing their plans, and the group added in comments, Zoe becoming almost deaf to them, assessing the possible nature of the plan she'd been privy to. The word titan was dropped, and she brought her head up, phasing back into the conversation.

"What's it like to "become a titan", Eren?" Erd asked.

She'd like to know that, having only seen the burst of light and steam that had brought forth the large Titan manifest. Which was an interesting conundrum she'd like to focus on, maybe. If she took the scientific direction, instead of staying along the slicing and dicing course.

"my memories from that time aren't clear," the boy muttered. "anyway, I lose track of myself. But self-mutilation is what sets it off. If I take my hand like this," he paused suddenly.

"You guys know the rules, don't you?" Levi asked, foot bumping up against hers under the table. "We can't ask about anything more than what's in the report. Thought I don't think she'll remain quiet. She might screw up while poking at you and you could end up dead. Heard that, Eren?"

Zoe dropped her head, smiling to herself as Levi took another sip of tea. When Levi talked about Hanji, she was either 'shitty four-eyes', or 'four-eyes'. Once or twice she was actually her name, but once she started talking, Levi veered into the four eyes territory.

"What?" Eren jolted slightly. "She?"

A banging came at the door, and Levi stared straight on, the level of emotion on his face dropping to an low level. Hanji popped in as soon as Petra removed the block, and Zoe smiled slightly, always amused by the woman, though her work in the field of Titan science was truly admirable. She was a bit off, not that Zoe minded, Hanji having been apart of her life for a while now, even if she rarely saw her.

"Good evening, people of Squad Levi!" her eyes flicked to Zoe. "And paramour."

Zoe blinked, face falling into a dead pan stare, the look rivaling Levi's at the moment. Paramour. Para-the briefest label of four-eyes crossed her mind.

Hanji continued, barely missing a beat, "How do you like your new castle home?"

"That didn't take long," Levi said, sipping from his cup, still not looking at her as Hanji walked close to the table.

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away!" Hanji exclaimed, rolling over Eren's words. "Thanks for waiting, Eren! At the moment, I'm in charge of the experiments on two Titans we captured alive. For tomorrow's experiment, I'd like your cooperation, Eren." The light of the candles was reflected somewhat in the woman's glasses, looking cheery, almost a polar opposite to Levi. "I came to get permission."

"Did you say… experiment?" Eren asked. "what would my role be?"

"Well now," Hanji raised her hand, looking far too excited. "The most exciting role, of course!"

Eren eased back from her, "About that…I can't give you permission by myself. I don't have authority over what I can do."

Hanji looked away from him. "Levi! What's Eren's schedule tomorrow?"

"Clearing the yard," Levi said, not meeting the woman's eyes still, hands together on the table.

"Good, then. It's set!" she bent, grabbed Eren's hand in both of hers. "Eren! see you tomorrow!"

"Uh, okay," Eren said, looking fairly distressed, "but what sort of experiments are you doing on the Titans?"

"Huh?"

Eren jolted with a slight noise, trying again, "You know, the Titan experiments."

"Hey," Auruo hissed, "stop it. Don't ask."

Zoe tilted back herself, Hanji's expression bordering on manic. Levi still wasn't looking at Hanji, taking Zoe's cup from her little plate, her attention elsewhere at the moment. He finished it off quickly, nudging her elbow, tilting his chin to indicate that they move.

"Yea, I knew it," Hanji said, "I thought I saw curiosity in your eyes."

Levi shifted, moving out of his chair without too much speed, walking out, Zoe and his squad trooping out after him. "I think it's time to turn in for the night," Levi decided, standing in front of them in the hallway, a safe ways away from Hanji. "Shitty four-eyes back there is going to be talking through the night,so I bet you she'll not bother us if we're quiet, and don't give away our position."

Faint surprise at Levi's annoyed slur flashed across their faces, and Zoe knew how much he was bothered by Hanji, mostly because she wasn't really Levi's type of person. But he respected her skill, and desire for knowledge, so it all packed together to produce this effect.

"Ah, Captain, we were thinking of playing a game or something," Auruo said, hand rubbing through his hair.

"Whatever, make sure four-eyes doesn't find me, I'd rather read a report," Levi said, turning on his heel, glancing back to Zoe. "Come on."

She gave the others a brief nod, grabbing her arm at the elbow, following after Levi. Zoe grabbed his hand when they turned the corner, setting her head on his shoulder, his hand in both of hers. He glanced down at her once, then looked away, walking on side by side with her, the quiet intimacy they shared much more appealing than words.

Zoe stepped in front of him, almost tripping them up, and Levi's eyebrows rose.

He shook his head, "Smooth."

"Hush."

Levi yawned when the door shut behind them, working his boots off, arranging them next to the bed with hers. Zoe turned, easing off her jackets, rifling through the bag she'd brought, eyeing Levi. He stepped close, arms wrapping slowly around her slightly waist, observing her closely. She smiled, arms roving over his shoulders, dragging her nail over his skin, resting safe in his arms, if only for the time being.

"Don't you dare die," he murmured, quiet as he pressed small kisses where he could. Zoe wondered if he'd say 'not like them'.

She nodded, though they both knew the futility of saying something like that. Second time today he'd said it, and she rested, body going soft in the strong circle he created. He brought his eyes to hers, tugging her back with him on the bed, switching their positions in an instant. Zoe circled her arms around the back of his neck, playing with his hair as he kissed her, dropping it when he pushed her up the bed, grumbling quietly, caging her under him.

"What?"

He tipped slightly, looked at the light under the door. "Thought I heard something."

"That's nice, can we resume kissing?"

"So I can make you feel good?"

"Really? You let it go so easily this afternoon, and now you're going to make it a thing; you're the worst."

"Am I?" he asked, waiting for a response she didn't give.

Levi's short breath was warm, and he shifted himself back on top of her. His hands slid over her body, lips pressing down, and she gave a satisfied smile, arm crooking back, fisting in the white sheets, arching up for more contact, able to just see him. Felt his tongue trace a practiced route, eyes closing for the briefest second, before they opened, moonlight doing wonders for him.

He fisted her pants in his hands, pulled them down quickly, straining and tearing the tie, which was an attractive thing to do, but these were the only pajama bottoms she had. Zoe didn't complain, especially as he placed himself back between her legs, closer now. His name rolled off her tongue, along with his rank, Levi's eyebrows raising in response, before a smirk slid over his lips. Levi yanked her closer to him, as much as he could, pressing her into the mattress.

"Say that again," he said, hot breath tickling the shell of her ear.

Zoe felt woozy, moving her hips for some friction, eyes given view of the full expanse of his muscled back. Goddammit, he made everything unfair. "I-just-it was the spur-Levi-"

"Say it again."

She gave a hum, legs draping over his waist, undulating slow under him, "Captain Levi. That do?"

"Fuck, I wanna hear you shout it," he mumbled, voice rough. "Or something. Just want to-"

Levi halted his words for a second, sat back on his heels, glaring at the light in the hallway, shirt halfway off his frame. Zoe sat up on her elbows, severely disappointed he had to stop _there_, as Levi scooted off the bed, tossing her his shirt before he yanked the door open, catching his subordinates mid mad dash away from their eavesdropping position. He gazed down at them, being that they'd all fallen in their effort to run from the door, chin tilted up and away. She gave a little laugh, sitting up further, holding his shirt up around her chest.

"Levi, hurry up, no one has time for your death glare," she said, giving a small sigh, disliking that his people had decided to come in right then. "Come back to bed, please?" He twitched at the please, grumbling under his breath.

"Leave," he said shortly, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

_I'm thinking it over. The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame. I wanna lean on your shoulder, I wish I was in love but I don't wanna cause any pain; and if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain_


	10. A Future In Cleaning

_I know the secret we share, look what this feeling has done to me. There's something deep in the air, just hope your hands lift me comfortably._

* * *

Levi's movements disturbed her, and Zoe shifted, sheets falling from her slight frame, squinting at the morning light, his shirt over her hands as she raised it to her eyes, rubbing away sleep. The mess hall was down the hall from this room, and she knew Auruo had a handle on that, being that he'd woken her up an hour before with his movements. She watched Levi move about, making no move to follow before he turned back, leaning in for a kiss.

Zoe stood, walking to the door after grabbing her records book, stopped by him as he said, "What are you doing?"

"Going for breakfast."

"Not in that you aren't," Levi wasn't close enough to stop her, and she trotted out.

Erd looked up as she walked in, hardly in full gear himself, Auruo without much better on. The man whistled, grinning widely over his shoulder, winking at her as she brought her bowl close. Levi cleared his throat, looking at him without any amount of emotion, glancing to Zoe's bare legs, turning slightly to watch as she passed. He sat beside her, finger tracing along the grooves of the table, musing quietly.

She nudged him, placing her leg near his, shifting closer. He raised his eyes to hers, relaxing just slightly, eating a bit faster than she did. Levi reached for her bread, and she slapped his hand away, felt it land at her leg, curving over to rest on her inner thigh, jolting her a bit closer to him. Zoe was manhandled, Levi's arm across her stomach, held back against him, and he stole her bread properly, holding it away from her as she tried to grab for it.

"Levi, give me it back," she said, huffing at him.

"No," he said, eyes dropping pointedly to her bare legs, just as Petra walked in, Gunther following presently, actually wearing full gear, possibly out for a morning patrol.

Zoe glared at Levi, knowing she could get it from him if she honestly wanted, but she decided to let him eat. Petra started when Zoe looked up, giving her a hesitant wave as her eyes flicked over the woman, wondering why she'd never heard of her, deciding that she'd had more assists than actual kills. That's what was valued highly in the military police: straight forward kills. There wasn't much team work up there, a bare amount of partners even, because most of them didn't work well with others. As well as the fact that they'd all been in the top 10 of their classes, and while the position was valued, it didn't give anyone much incentive to work outside of their superior stations.

"So, I suppose the Captain is kinky," Auruo said, raising his eyebrows with his spoon, slurping his soup rather noisily to attract both her and Levi's attention.

"What?" she asked.

"From what I heard last night."

Levi made a low noise in his throat, raising his eyes to his subordinate. She was quite happy she'd never received that glare in person, watching Auruo shrink back, eyes drifting away from Levi's. Suitably happy with breaking off the conversation, Levi went back to his food, glancing to her once or twice when she flipped a page, as if to make sure that she was still there.

"What are we doing today?" she asked, closing her book.

"I was thinking some type of close combat training, at some point. Maybe 3D gear movement; the brat probably thinks he's some big shot now."

She hummed, amused with how irritated Levi got at just the thought of Eren having a swelled head. "A big shot like you."

"I'm not a big deal, Zoe."

"Captain, yes you are," Auruo said, banging his fist down, showing a bit too much zeal.

Zoe shrugged, looking down to her tea as she murmured, "Nathan thinks he can beat you."

"tch. That redhead is full of himself."

"He's quite good."

"Zoe, I am humanity's greatest solider, if you'll remember the advertisements the Military loves to slap up. A poster with a shit drawing of me. With a smile, too, it's very offensive."

"See, you are pretty cocky."

Levi sighed, eyebrow raising as he asked, "What point are you trying to make?"

"I don't know, I kind of lost it," she said, happy that there was a spark of amusement in his eyes.

Gunther was passing by the windows, carrying his bowl back for seconds, when he suddenly halted. Levi instantly stood, and Zoe followed after him, crossing her arms over her chest to lean around them, identifying the horse and rider as a common messenger from the Garrison Troops. Zoe saw Levi make the same connection as she did, and with the attention on him, he pointed back to the location of their rooms.

"Gear up, all of you. Down in 10, at most."

There were quick nods, Auruo pouring the rest of his soup down his throat, getting a strange look from Erd. Zoe was jogging slightly, blowing into their room, jerking his shirt from her body as he closed the door. She tugged her pants on, buckiling them over her shirt, jacket over her arms next, making sure her bandages were set properly before stepping into her boots, walking back to the area where they'd left their gear.

Gunther had already brought horses out, and Zoe walked to hers as she strapped her gear on properly, checking the amount in her tank, the number of blades. She swung up on horseback as Hanji and Eren ran out of the room they'd been in all night. Levi ground his teeth together, watching Hanji, fumbling with her attempts to get back on her horse. Eren was on horseback, gear at his sides now.

Levi nodded, making sure everyone was there before jolting his horse forward into a canter. The Messenger's horse was obviously tired, but the man coaxed the mare forward, right behind Levi's formation. Zoe didn't stop when Levi did, swinging her horse sharply around as she searched for the man who was essentially the third in command now, with Nule's reclaim of Commander, finding him near the green enclosure, glancing to the steam, putting two together easily. Garrison troops dodged as she cantered out of the fountain space, under the slight tunnel space to a yard, encompassed on 3 sides by a building.

He saluted, reintroduced himself, "Lieutenant Commander Roth; Sergeant Thomas-"

"Tell me what's going on," she snapped, remaining on horseback, swinging her horse around, making an annoyed noise as the horse pranced in place.

"Someone;" the man searched for words until she cleared her throat, "The two Titans Hanji was holding there, someone came in the middle of the night, or around that time, and killed them. The damn Garrison Troops didn't realize it, and there were at least 20 on guard; they can't do anything right, those second rate loafers."

"And none of you?" she raised her eyebrows, her horse shaking under her, its hoof stamping at the ground, head dipping once. "None of you thought it was important enough? You hurl insults so quickly."

"They're Titans, Lieutenant Commander," Thomas said, resisting an eyeroll.

She sighed, collected her reins before she dismounted, seeing Jay out of the corner of her eyes, making a beeline for her. Since Nathan and Jay were usually paired up, it was odd to see him alone, never mind him looking pissed off instead of blandly amused. He shoved Garrison troops out of his way, gun on his back, the strap messing up his otherwise crisp attire.

"Lieutenant Commander," Jay started, giving Thomas a once over that made the man rethink his proximity to the both of them. "We have two ideas as to how this was carried out; 3D gear was taken from the weapons store in this district, and the night guards, both Military Police, are being questioned, along with the night shift workers, like the repairmen, and exchange clerks. Second idea, we think that it was a more personal device, and are setting up to push through inspection at high speed. Including the new Cadets."

Zoe nodded, closing her eyes for a beat as she thought over the situation, "This was done with intent other than revenge, and I'd like the problem regarded as such, so make the inspection good, nothing but through checking. Check _our_ 3D movement devices, whether they were already in lock up or otherwise, and don't allow anyone to pull rank to get out of inspection, yes? And then switch those locks on the weapons store here, and further into Sina. Distribute those keys to only Captains and above. I'd like a list sent to me of who holds them presently. And asses the value of the workers of each Weapon's store, see if they should stay, or can be replaced, as it may be come necessary to do so."

She handed off her reins to Thomas, and walked towards the fountain, a good ways away from the chaos. Jay's strides were so much longer than hers, she was forced somewhat into a jog/walk, eventually reaching for his shoulder to keep him at her side, hoping he'd calm down. Zoe didn't ask him what was wrong, just stood in front of him as he sat on the stone rim of the fountain, turned to gaze at the water.

"I don't like doing a bad job," Jay grumbled, shaking his head as he briefly dipped his hand into the rippiling water. "And letting that shit through, however it happened, makes me feel like I did."

"You think I don't feel guilty? I shouldn't have left; I should've set up the watch on the Titans. It might not have happened, but it's out of our hands."

"You're really staying with the squad?"

"Yea."

"Because of Levi, right?"

"How do you-"

"I'm not stupid. I see how he looks at you, and how you try not to look at him. How when the regiment comes back, it's easy enough to find him near you. I think it's nice to have that."

"Should I stay, Jay?"

"I'm not supposed to give you orders, Commander."

"Lieutenant."

"Not second rank to me," he said, wiping his wet hand on his knee before he stood to his full height. "I think you should do what makes you happy, and stay there. Not all of us have that option," that bland amusement was back, and any actual animation was no longer present.

"Right. Thanks."

"What about the Cadet ceremony, Commander Roth?"

"Please. As if they expect to see me there instead of Nile. Erwin is there to give his piece and nothing else, you know our assured amount."

"Yes, you're right."

"I expect you have this, then?"

"Of course," he looked almost offended. "I'll treat it with an amount of gravity expected."

She gave him a curt nod. "I expect nothing less."

* * *

Zoe walked slow, looking down at the slip of names in her hand, glancing up at the sight of cadets, watching Ness shout at them. His horse eventually went for his hair, per usual, and none of them did anything to help. She'd already been briefed repeatedly on the formations, so thankfully, she didn't have to be in class with the Cadets, which would've been something of an embarrassment.

Levi had made sure that she knew every single thing that he valued vitale the day before, even if she couldn't really see the pages if he was fucking her that hard. And quite frankly, she wasn't allowed to look at it the third time over, just spoke it as well as she could, even if she couldn't form sentences well, grasping as his sweat slicked body. He'd snapped open the window as soon as had been possible, even though Zoe had been fairly sure his troops had heard them, because she wasn't at all good at the quiet portion.

But there had been a surprising amount of cuddling. Which was all fine and good, but Levi had a thousand more duties to perform, and he was up and down often, coming into bed late at night, and jostling her awake. He pressed his head to her back tonight, and she woke, turning slightly, catching sight of his face before rubbing along the arm slung over her stomach.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine. If all…" he breathed out shortly. "Fine. Should be fine."

A tense silence stretched between the two of them, and she turned all the way, shifting close. Her orders kept him away from her, placed next to Erwin, their position allowing them to shoot into the forest, to the layout there. Zoe wasn't going to say anything, and Levi knew what her orders were in that respect, as the both of them were in on what had been planned, what this 'tryout run' was actually for, rather than practice. Nothing could be said, because none of them knew who was listening.

"Don't die on me," he whispered, thumb smoothing over her lips. His eyes flickered over her face as if to memorize it in the dim light, and her heart gave a jump.

"Same to you."

"Zoe, I mean it." His jaw clenched, an unexpected surge of emotion. He tipped his forehead to hers, hand fumbling for hers.

"Isabel, and Farlan," she finally said. "What happened?"

"I fucked up, that's what happened." Levi's hand left hers. "Pride, all that shit, and it was my fault."

"Levi-."

"Don't try to coddle me, Zoe. It's my burden, and I can carry it."

She nodded, and he took her hand once again.

She'd watched the recruits put on their capes in the yard, catching sight of them again, though her presence wasn't noticed, and she didn't aim for that. Mostly, her existence was hailed by the Special Tactical force, and the few Scout Regiment troops who'd seen her return from a early morning walk. She understood, suddenly, why the people here deserved to be hailed as heroes, what the wings brought, even if they weren't apart of the 10.

Zoe had leaned against the window, watched the capes get caught in the light, crossing her arms over her chest. She nodded briefly, regret slamming through her, mind flicking through all the times her squad, or just the people she'd hung out with had mocked them, diluting the bravery presented here. The times they'd mocked the children's fascination with them, highlighting all the failures, the casualty risk, and she'd stood by. While Levi carried a burden no one else could, wouldn't let a single person help him.

In her mind, she saluted them, all of them she could remember, the ones in her class who hadn't made it, at least they'd known something other than life behind a wall.

* * *

_But it's really out of my control, the way you feel is not my problem. I don't wanna see you go, but I don't have time to solve this. And you don't have the right, after all you put me through_

* * *

Zoe frowned down at Eren, happy to an extent as she was finally taller than him, even with his station in the bottom of the well. She looked back to Levi, remembering his drawing on the board.

"Are you ready to do this, Eren?" Hanji called, and Zoe shifted, kicking one leg up briefly, movement inspired by a sudden itch in the crook of her knee. "When we're done with the preparations, we'll fire a signal flare. After that, it's up to you."

Eren shouted back a garbled response.

"This dry well will contain him even in titan form when he loses self-control," Hanji murmured. "Or should."

She pranced back, doing a tiny little circle, to which Levi responded by gazing at her for a solid second before he looked away, resisting a sigh. Zoe swung up on horse back, guiding her horse away. Hanji fired a flare, and Zoe leaned slightly on her horse, waiting for it. Nothing happened and she yawned, glaring at Levi for an instant, tired due to the veritable marathon sex they'd participated in last night. His squad had taken till the afternoon to find the courage to ask them to keep it down, the request put forward by Petra and Gunther.

Auruo had rolled his eyes, and she was fairly sure he'd given her a thumbs up, Erd along side him, lips squeezed tight to hide a smile. Levi had whipped around at that moment and the two had jolted back, Auruo's feed bucket trailing a bit of oats on the ground. Levi's horse had proceeded to snuffle by him, sticking out it's neck to get all of the food it could before inching back to his side. Apparently, everyone was a bit off then.

"Maybe he didn't see the signal?" Hanji mused.

"No," Levi said, the slash of his lips dipping. "There are no guarantees to what we're doing." He nudged his horse forward. "Hey, Eren! We're canceling the test!" he barked, walking to the edge as Hanji did, Zoe remaining on horse back, just in case.

"Is something wrong?" Hanji asked, jolting back slightly, and Zoe swung off her horse, stepping forward to lean over with them.

Her eyebrows lifted, the scene before her a bit, well, the kid, or brat, as Levi had taken to referring to him, had his own blood all over him. Zoe's mouth twisted down into a slash, the look echoing her fellows at the top of the well.

"Hanji," Eren's voice quavered. "I couldn't turn into a Titan."

A time after, with all of Levi's squad clustered around a table, Eren still sat, looking almost ashen. Zoe sat quietly, calculating the amount of shit she was going to have to go through if his abilities had shorted out. She let her knee begin to bounce, nervous adrenaline shooting through her, and she recalled the numerous panic attacks throughout the year, and her breath grew even shorter.

She'd backed the little fucker, and now he wasn't transforming? Levi turned away from all of them, with a very threatening sentence, Petra walking up to him, while Zoe rested, turned away from Eren, before standing up, and walking a ways away, breathing faster, unable to refill her lungs, it seemed, and she fixed on a point, cursing softly, knowing what the start of a panic attack felt like all too well.

She stabbed her boot into the Earth, muttering to herself, knowing it wouldn't do to fall apart here, after one year free of panic attacks. Zoe took a deep breath, turning slightly, just as a explosion created a large amount of steam, jolting her back, her hands raising to protect her eyes from the steam, assessing the situation, stepping in close, noticing the extreme lack of a titan body, even with the mist as it was.

Zoe clicked her tongue, resting a hand on her hip, finding herself between Auruo and Erd, the only one without swords out, besides Levi. She wasn't entirely scared of Eren, fairly sure she could disable him, at least, to a certain degree, and with Levi here? If he saw a threat, he wouldn't be stepping in front of it, nor holding up a hand. And quite frankly, Levi probably would've incapacitated him already.

"Calm down," he coaxed, and she eased herself out of the ring of people, stepping away from the blades. "All of you."

Hanji was bearing down towards him, and Zoe took an extra step back, grasping her elbow, smiling. Actually, more of a smirk, and she raised her eyebrows, her look a bit happier than Levi's at the moment. His troops continued to remain hostile, obviously annoying Levi as they continued to threaten Eren, and Levi's previous look vanished.

Petra shouted at him to move away, but Levi scowled a bit more, saying, "No, you guys are the ones who need to back off."

"Why is that?" Petra exclaimed.

"My hunch," Levi said, reply instant.

"How about it, Eren?! Say something!" Erd shouted.

"Don't try anything!" Auruo barreled over Eren's attempt to speak.

"Prove it now!" Gunther cried.

They continued to volley words at him, hurrying his response, threatening him over and over, reminding them that they could kill them. She raised her eyebrows, looking to Levi, expecting him to have a better handle on his people. Zoe didn't stand for this kind of panic, not that her men could really be whipped into something like this unless it came to something directly affecting wall Sina. In fact, she'd managed to cut down on the speaking she needed to communicate orders, due to the fact that she sincerely wasn't big on words.

"Wait, please stop talking!" He shouted, stopping their barrage.

Hanji made her way closer at that moment, barreling by Gunther, shoving the man out of the way, screaming his name. Zoe had managed to step to the side, having kept tabs on her just as she'd made it out of the forest.

"Can I touch that arm?" Hanji wailed, almost drooling. No, no, that was drool. "Come on, it's okay, right?"

Eren tried to say something, but she was already moving, gazing at the arm lovingly before she pressed her hand to it's skin. Her hands sizzled, smoke openly wafting from the location, and she ignored the pain for another instant, before springing away, shouting about it's temperature. Hanji jumped into the air, sliding away on her knees, flinging them up to the sky.

Her helper was right next to her, trying to tell her about something risky, but if there was anything Hanji wasn't going to do, it was take precautions when it came to experiments. She cackled over his words, and Zoe looked away, sucking in a deep breath, eyes flickering over the malformed body. Eren was still trapped there as Hanji popped back up, shouting questions at him.

Eren began to make attempts to pull his hand away, and Auruo shouted caution, but the boy was already making headway, falling back. Hanji grabbed her hair, freaking out over his departure from the body, and Zoe looked to Levi, watching him walk to Eren's side, vividly recalling their conversation about children. No. But still. They'd be awfully short.

"How do you feel?" Levi asked.

"Not too good."

His people put their swords back in place, and stooped to help him. Levi walked away, and she waved him close, his boots coming to rest toe to toe with hers.

"Your hunch?" she murmured.

"Can't you piece it together?"

"Levi," she crossed her arms over her chest, "don't be an asshole."

"Think for a second, Zoe, come on."

She gazed past his shoulder, eyes flicking to the spoon, then to the well, letting her eyes rest there as she considered the Trost District mission. For a moment, she blanked, then put it together as she recalled the part of the Trost report; Eren had been presumed dead, swallowed by a Titan, arm the only thing left. He wasn't dead, so maybe... Everytime he'd transformed, there'd been something he was trying desperately to do, like the power wasn't for show, but for survival, and he had a drive that she'd never seen, one that allowed him to pull himself from the belly of a Titan.

"Yes. I've got it, I think."

"Tell me."

"Everytime he does it, he's trying to do something. But the self-mutilation point holds. I think...it's for survival, or something along those lines, but still; he's doing something when he attempts it."

"Well done." Levi nodded, eyes flickering over her face, a look in his eyes she'd seen many times, mainly right before he had his hands on her. "How many times do you want to cum tonight?"

"Sex? Now? You are such a male."

"Tell me."

She sucked her teeth briefly. "5. But we both know you can't hold out that long, Levi."

"I'm going to eat you out," he raised an eyebrow. "then I'm going to fuck you into a sixth one, are we agreed?"

"Oh. Oh, okay," she said, blinking as he turned away, calling after him, "I could go for seven, if you're feeling particularly giving."

"We'll see. If you're quiet."

"I thought it was a reward, what do you mean, quiet?"

His eyebrow jumped briefly as he looked over his shoulder. Zoe shrugged, smiling to herself, hanging back with him as the team collected themselves, his hands drifting low as he caught her alone, blocked behind the small building in the huge field, giving her ass a playful swat(as playful as Levi could be) before swinging up on his horse. She brought herself up into her saddle as well, coming around the other side of the building, the squad getting into formation.

Zoe busied herself for a long while back at base, writing her report, catching one of the leaving Garrison messengers, smacking the rolled up paper in his hand. Her words were cold and clipped, much like Levi's, though she tried to find a balance, but not when she was speaking to a man so far beneath her level. Maybe she did have a large ego at the moment, but it was deserved, wasn't it? Her class had been extremely elite, and as some of the people muttered, the last one that really was fit, due to their ventures outside the wall, and availability of equipment, something that was sorely lacking by next round of cadets.

She asked him to repeat it back, and he did, stumbling over a few words, but he got it right. "If the seal is in anyway stretched or broken, I will find you, and you'd prefer a way out by Titan, yes?"

He blanched, swallowed thickly, but nodded. Zoe stepped back, swatting the horse's rump, and sending it forward, stepping back off the stool. At least when she used that tone, they forgot her gender and stature.

She was pulled away from her exodus back to her room by Hanji's man, requesting her presence. Zoe came in just as the woman set down a spoon which was a lovely detail she had observed, nodding along as Hanji spoke.

"Any thoughts?" she finished, calm now.

"As I remember, I was about to pick that up," Eren said, "and right after that, the Titan changes began."

"I see," Hanji murmured. "That might be the reason you weren't able to turn into a Titan this time." Eren's eyes widened as she continued, "Killing Titans, stopping cannon fire, lifting the boulder. In each case, you had a specific purpose before you turned into a titan. It's likely that inflicting self-injury is not the only trigger. You might not be able to do it without having a specific purpose."

Eren thought quietly at the end of the table, holding out his hand, fingers twitching. Zoe watched him, turned slightly, arms over her chest.

"What she's saying," Gunther began, brow creasing, "you didn't break the rules intentionally, did you?"

"No," Eren confirmed.

Everyone nodded, the movement of biting their hands traveling along the people who'd shouted at him hours ago. Levi looked on quietly, not mimicking this movement, standing still as Zoe was, watching them bite their hands. It was a moment of respect, an action that she'd never seen. There wasn't this kind of teamwork in the military regiment, she'd say that as much. Grumbles of pain flickered around next.

"Eren, how the hell can you bite it off?" Erd asked, and she allowed a smile, eyes shifting to Eren.

He met her eyes for the moment, and she gave him a short nod. Although she didn't mimic the movement everyone else had, she had a well of respect for the kid pooling in her chest.

"We misjudged you," Gunther added, looking at Eren, bitten hand down from his mouth, "this is our small way of apologizing. For what it's worth."

"What?" Eren asked.

"Our job is to restrain you," Auruo said, "there's nothing wrong about that part! Don't let this go to your head, brat!"

"We're sorry, Eren," Petra's voice was a bit softer than Auruo's, "we were frightened." She looked away. "We were jerks. You must've been disappointed. Still, despite all that," she was looking at him again as she spoke. "we'll be depending on you, and we want you to count on us too. So please, believe in us."

Eren glanced around, took a breath and nodded, hands clenching once at his side. "Okay."

Levi gave a nod, and Zoe moved, sitting on the bench next to Petra. She locked eyes with the boy, murmuring, "And although I'm not entirely invested in you," she took a breath, "it seems we've figured out something. So, I'll put an ounce of trust in you, being that your presence here weighs on my own. Though, it's honestly better than what my regiment wants. You can clean properly now, so if this fizzles, at least you have a future there."

The table chortled, the high strung mood falling, and Auruo tried to poke fun at that, but Levi cut across him, "It wasn't as if your work was any better."

Erd's laugh was contained, hand over his mouth before he gave up, laughing hard. Auruo opened his mouth, blustering through his embarrasement loudly, but Petra needled him as well, until the man's face turned red. Hanji sat, Gunther disappearing for a moment, and coming back with tea.

They made a night of it, and Levi actually seemed to be in a better mood, sitting with his legs spread around her body, dropping comments here and there. Eren's nervousness diminished, and she spoke to them, knowing her lack of speech would be pointed out, especially by Auruo. His comment was backed by her relationship with Levi, telling him how they fit each other in that respect.

Levi's frown wasn't on his face for the entire time, listening to them banter, allowing them to try and pry at origins of their relationship. Zoe's heart warmed to the people in front of her, more than she knew was proper, as most people, especially with them being Scout REgiment troops, didn't get close. Levi had finally opened up enough for her, but she knew he cared in an entirely other respect for the troops in front of her.

"Time to go up," he finally said, speaking at a lull.

"Ah, you to go up, and have really loud sex, we can't sleep anyways."

Levi flung the spoon Eren had had towards Auruo, but the man managed to duck. Hanji squawked over his action, but they were already moving away, Levi's hand at the small of her back as always. She saw him smile later on, almost too blissed out to pay attention to it, but it was genuine, nothing else but joy behind it, as he flopped down next to her too warm for covers.

"I should've chosen the Scout REgiment," she managed, and his smile twisted to a smirk.

"The world's going to shit, Zoe, you should've made that choice earlier."

she shrugged.

* * *

_Since you been gone, I been having withdrawals, you were such a habit to call. I ain't myself at all had to tell myself nah; she's better with some fella with a regular job. I didn't wanna get her involved_


	11. Lips Like Liquor

_I kiss you when you lick your lips; You like it wet and so do I. No you never waste a drip, I wonder how it feels sometimes; Must be good to you_

* * *

Erd was fast, faster than she'd given him credit for, blocking every attempt she made to walk towards the pot, holding her carrots to her chest. Petra walked in, saw this, and, instead of smiling like Zoe thought she would, she sprinted, making to tackle her, but she dodged just in time. Gunther entered through the same door, saw her and charged, Zoe yelping, but managing to duck, using momentum and a slight elbow to flip him over.

Levi was in now, eyes flickering about his squad, as Petra and Gunther made to get up again, and Erd's flailing. He walked up, took the carrots from her, and passed them to Erd. Gunther slumped, hands on the floor, pressing his head to it before he fell onto his side. Zoe frowned, wondering why they were trying to block her, she was a good cook, wasn't she?

"Zoe, come out with me, I've got something to show you."

Zoe pointed hesitantly to the pot, "But I was going to-going to cook."

Gunther blanched, his fairly tan skin losing a bit of luster, shaking his head wildly, still on the floor. "I, uh," he took a breath, "I don't want you to spend your valuable time, you should let us handle that."

"Oh, I can do laundry, then," Zoe said.

Petra's head snapped up, eyes wide, "No, no, no, we've got it."

Levi hand his hand in the crook of her elbow, pulling her with him, the others eyes on her. She followed after him, frowning back at the rest of them, wondering what the big fuss was about.

"Levi, I'm a good cook, right?"

Levi's eyes kept straight ahead, even as he said, "Of course."

She made a tiny huffing noise, his hand dropping from her elbow, rounding the corner to see Eren and Auruo, waiting with his horse and her own, 3D gear on everyone but her. Auruo gave her a nod, and Zoe attempted one in return, noticing her 3D gear case. It didn't take her long to complete getting it on, shifting to and fro, checking a blade or two, before grasping the reins on her horse, bouncing once, twice on one foot, boosting herself up.

Zoe brought her horse astride Levi, asking, "What are we doing?"

"Training. May as well get him mildly better."

She turned, hand on her horse's pelt, leaning out of her saddle. "Didn't you train with Keith?"

Eren gave a quick nod.

"See, Levi, he does have a very good base to build on, he was apart of the top ten Cadets."

Levi gave her a look, eyebrow arched. Zoe tipped, her horse buffeting LEvi's enough to make the black horse, shift, right into the way of branches. He ducked before it hit him, veering back onto the trail, his glare tempered to the barest extent. She smiled, making sure it was a bit too sweet, catching sight of a clearing, as well as an outpost, and assumed that was where the training would occur.

He spurred his horse into a brief canter, slowing, yanking his reins around, horse rearing up, not very far, but Levi was obviously in a hurry to get through it. She tied her horse down, walking to Levi's side, Eren standing before them. Zoe surmised that Levi still wanted private training time, just due to the fact that he could smack Eren around without having his, she assumed, girlfriend, give him that death glare.

"Zoe was my partner back in 844," Levi said, "And therefore, she's good enough to give you pointers, despite her dalliances in the _Military Police._ If you'll display a bit of skill?"

"Are you going to say Military Police like that?"

"I said it normally."

She rolled her eyes, but pulled her handles out, taking a running start before putting her gear into use, the sparse tree forest providing a perfect area to move about in. Zoe appeared above the trees once or twice, always enjoying the sharp plummet. The first time she'd been big enough, one of the Garrison Troops had allowed her to put it on, teaching her quickly how to use it. Her mother had stormed out of no where, much like lightening, dragging her out of the trees, telling James, the Garrison Man, to not encourage her.

Her mother was a large fan of the 'ladylike' term, and taught her, thought at points it was more forcefully inspired, to be awkwardly congenial. The awkward on her part, because she wanted to make her mother proud, she really did, so she clipped her conversations, or didn't engage in them at all. On the other hand, her father wasn't particularly interested in her in general, and made vague backing of her mother's ideas. He was invested in Jaz, just due to the fact he was a going to inherit the farm, and Jaz was just...better than her.

Especially, her mother's axioms for the part, increased when she started displaying more and more interest in being a soldier. Zoe was caught, just turned 16, trying to sign up for the Cadet program. Some point, she thought, in 840, and her mother had lost her shit. She made a fairly big scene, despite the fact that they were in the underground, and wow, it was scary enough for her mother to shout in the first place.

She'd caught a sight of a number of, she had it clarified by the merchant, Thugs, sitting up on one of the tall houses, 3D movement gear at their waist. Zoe was fairly sure, if her memory was correct, that was Levi. He sat the same way Levi did, one knee crooked, other leg out flat, and she was 80% sure it was him, but she wasn't going to bring that up. Still, it was the way he'd finally moved, their shadows flitting above them, that made her finally screw her mother's opinion, and join the Cadets in 841.

And here she was now, 9 years later, everyone but her, and her brother's son dead in their family, doing something that kept her spirits up. She'd found Levi that was as well, and even as he smirked in her direction, expression otherwise impassive, she was happy she did. Zoe sank to the ground, knees bent, cushioning her fall, hand on the ground, before she stood, set her handles back in place, sweeping her fringe back into place. Eren looked almost surprised, and she put a hand on her hip, wondering why he did.

"I'm sorry, I just...I thought the Military Police were, I mean, not untalented, but you don't use the device a lot, do you?"

On any other occasion, she'd nod without pausing, but now, she took a beat, considering the Central Government's action of sending her and her top officers out into Titan territory. Zoe knew she was replaceable, to a point, and she'd recently been securing her place, as well she could. Erwin had said that he was replaceable, and she agreed, just because a few political enemies could find his replacement in an instant. Not that she wanted to, because Erwin was a sincere gift to humanity.

"Well, I manage to practice."

"Yea, your technique is really advanced," Eren said, fairly enthusiastic.

"despite it all, we are elite for a certain reason. I know, it doesn't match to your view, and in certain cases, it is selfish reasons we elect to being behind wall Sina, but honestly.." She gave a little sigh, waving her sentence away. "Doesn't matter. Levi, what do you want me to do?"

"Teach him better hand to hand," Levi said. "Concerning the idea that he doesn't keep his gear with him, I think we should focus on that.

She nodded, and stepped in. Auruo was used to demonstrate moves on, and occasionally Levi would step in to show a perfectly executed block. As the day progressed, Levi loosened up, almost smiling as Auruo decked Eren, the man making a snippy comment that lost all meaning as Eren popped up for another bout and put him on the ground. Zoe was fairly concerned that Eren and Auruo were going to have back problems if they got to see the end of their Solider careers.

They took a break for a late lunch, shaded by the shadow, expanding from the tall outpost, 3D gear set aside. Levi sat close to her, stealing her food periodically. She was a fair bit too busy, lips twisted down, writing scratching against paper. Zoe did elbow him at some point, as he jostled her and blocked her light, and she got a slight grunt of pain in quick time.

"Captain, do you want to let him use his gear?" Auruo asked.

Levi gave a quick nod, watching Eren silently, allowing his subordinate to call the shots, his unneeded complaints making Eren look a bit exasperated. He was good; probably why he was among the top ten. Maybe he was a little green, and Auruo had years of field combat on his side, but that was no reason to essentially chase him into the forest.

Eventually, Levi turned to her, the two a ways away. He dipped in, tried to shift her closer, legs spreading, attempting to place her between them. Zoe made another noise, holding up one finger, and he responded by letting his own travel over the leather binds over her body, just enough to distract her.

His fingers crept up, until she turned, raised her paper, glaring. "Levi, I'm almost done, if you don't mind."

"I don't, that's why I'm bothering you," Levi said, chin on the heel of his hand, eyebrows lifted, hand still on her leg, sitting so he faced away from the table, propped up.

Despite that fairly annoying answer, she smiled, and worked a bit faster. As she signed her name, his arms went tight around her waist, the h in Roth, looking very odd, but she didn't care, allowing herself to be manhandled between his legs, though she moved enough to be facing him. Levi's smirk was triumphant, hands sliding down her back, over her ass.

"Do you know when they'll be back?"

"Couldn't give a shit," he muttered, an elbow set back against the table where he'd leaned, hand now on her thigh. "You're such a fucking tease, you know that?"

She gave a short laugh, enjoying his hands as they smoothed slow over her. "Really?" Her hands were draped over his shoulders. "Why is that?"

"I have clarified how much of a turn on it is to see you move like that, haven't I?" His hands were a bit harsher now, at her hips, making her grind down on him, till she started it herself. "Fuck, you're gorgeous."

"All the time?" Even though she didn't need to ask it.

"Yes, all the fucking time," He said, voice a bit worn, biting the inside of his cheek.

Levi's hands stalled at her breasts, head dipping again, then brought it back up to hers. She let her hands cover his, encouraging him, the feel of him through her uniform just enough to work for her. His hands left then, sliding back down over her ass, squeezing tight, pulling her harder down, and Zoe tilted into kiss him, arms again over his fairly broad shoulders, hardly taller than him like this.

He pulled away, breath hitching harshly. "Swear, m'gonna," Levi didn't finish, hips starting to rise to meet hers.

The kiss was a bit more frantic now, and Levi attempted to worm his hand under her clothes, cursing sharply, breaking them apart. His curse ended in a tiny moan, and Levi's head rolled back just for an instant, looking desperate.

"Zoe, I swear to fuck, if you make me come in my pants, I-I'm going to..." LEvi's voice cracked and trailed off.

"Yea?" she asked, hardly decreasing the pressure she was putting on him every single time she moved her hips. "Tell me."

He shook his head, brow furrowed, concentrated on not allowing himself to come, so she outlined it herself, close to his ear. Asked him if he'd like to tie her down, which, oddly, he hadn't done too many times. Levi nodded, the reliably kinky bastard. Zoe smiled, liking it a bit too much when he was the one barely able to speak, mouth open, pupils dilated.

She continued on, starting on the cuffs, how they'd dig into her skin, how she wanted him to fuck her hard enough that she didn't care about that fact. Levi's agreements were frantic, his moan stumbling when she went into detail, told him what she wanted. Bruises on her hips, and if she just wore his shirt, something without a collar, she wanted his squad to see something there. Maybe a handprint on her ass, if he wanted, and his groan was drawn out, his face in her neck, mouth open against her skin, lips forming words unspoken.

Zoe recalled him mentioning someone else fucking her, and drizzled that in, his whine only brief. "They're not gonna come into you, got that?" his command was garbled, like he was babbiling, but the words reached her. The fact he was considering it made her falter, appealing to her as much as it seemed to him, and she hummed low, hands tight in his hair, overheating in her clothes.

"They could fuck me while I have you in my mouth, Levi," she said, "and then what? Are you gonna make them pull out, and show them how to really fuck me?"

His breath caught again, and his hips gave a tiny stutter. "Yes," he hissed.

Zoe dropped her voice further, "because you're the only one who can really fuck me, aren't you?" She knew how to stroke his ego, although it was fairly true. Mostly because he put in time, and attention, as he seemed to love knowing just where to touch, how to angle, make her melt, or scream. She fucking _loved_ that, giving a bit of an involuntary jerk on his hair.

His hands fisted in the small amount of extra cloth on her uniform, curse long and drawn out. Levi trembled under her, damp forehead still set to her bared collarbone, and she wondered if that flush on his cheek was from exertion or embarrassment. They didn't move for a bit, and she wished she could've gotten off just on this, but; a victory nonetheless.

"Shit," he breathed, normally, eyes cutting to the forest. "Did anyone see that?"

"No, they haven't come out," she said, felt him nod again. And, Auruo's voice had still been audible throughout it.

"Good." Levi still didn't move to arrange himself, looking fairly annoyed, mouth in a slash. "I'm fucking dirty, Zoe."

"Yea?" she eased away from him, but he caught her, pulled her back down, back to him now, hand sliding under her pants, able to access her this way.

Zoe heard Auruo's voice, shouting at Eren to hurry up, they were going to come back; something along those lines. She struggled, but he held her tight, ministrations picking up pace.

"Cum, and you can go."

Never thought it would actually be something of a punishment. She knew Auruo was going to walkout of those woods soon, so she relaxed into his fingers. Zoe reached back, hips canting forward into his fingers, hand around the back of his neck. And fuck it felt good, because she was still turned on, just from their activity, and he commented on how wet she was.

His fingers moved faster over her, coaxing her on in a low voice, promising he'd fuck her later, if she just came right now. "be a good girl, for me, Zoe," and she needed that line, fuck all, he could push her buttons like she could his. Zoe repeated his name, breathing it instead of shouting, tremors rocking her frame, his fingers still working slow. When she stilled, he removed his fingers, and she thought he'd slip them into her mouth, something he liked to do, but he pressed them into his own.

She watched, twisted enough to achieve this. Levi gave a tiny smirk around them, letting his two fingers slip from his mouth, standing, arm steadying her. He looked down, and the smirk disappeared.

"You're going to wash this," he said, voice low.

"Really?"

"I'm going to write down exact steps, set down a bucket. And I think I want to see you in that pretty set of underwear you always hide." He put on his cloak, making sure it covered the fairly odd looking spot, strapping his 3D gear on. "You're not sneaky, Zoe." Levi swung up on horse back, just as Auruo and Eren exited the trees, calling, "Let's go, Eren needs to clean."

Zoe managed up on her horse with her own gear on, Levi's look making her heart jump.

"And so does Zoe."

Eren's confusion was palpable, knowing she, at least, could do Levi's standard of cleaning, or avoid it with sex, and know he'd do it before she woke up. So, she wasn't exactly a person that Levi would attach 'clean up' to. But apparently, he was in a mood, and she'd caused it.

* * *

She walked across the courtyard, catching sight of the new recruits, laboring in the cold morning air, a few days of heavy cloud cover, and lack of precipitation providing a low temperature. Zoe wore an oversized black sweater, Levi's, just due to the fact she couldn't pack worth a shit, cup of hot tea in her hand, settling into the close bench, crossing her legs under her, and setting her book up. This was the one he'd been unable to find, but, here it was.

Most of the Special Tactile Squad, and senior regiment members were experiencing the first stretch of down time in 20 days. In fact, Petra was walking towards her, waving, a wall cutting them off from view of the recruits. Since Eren's experiment, she'd been talking to the squad more, just due to the fact she wanted to try the friend idea.

Petra sat on the adjacent bench, giving a huff, starting with a question about her book. Apparently, the woman read as much as she did, and if Zoe was known for something, it was reading. It was the only thing that her mother approved of, in all honesty. Levi was slinking towards them, mood worse, with the early morning idea, recent shower making him look like a drowned, and tired, cat, casual clothes doing nothing to help him.

A recruit tried to say something, but Levi looked at him once, and the boy fell back, real terror in his eyes. Zoe smiled as he walked closer, shutting her book, and letting her conversation with Petra lull, the both of them looking up at him. Levi came to a halt, glancing to Petra with a brief nod, gaze back on Zoe, flickering over her fast, and she knew that little look.

"Can I talk to you?"

Ah yes, the cover of talking. And once he had her alone, it would be a quick shift into sex.

"Levi, I'm busy."

His eyebrows raised, "Really?"

"Yea, I'm talking to Petra."

"Zoe," Levi entire body gave an impatient twitch, hand clenching.

"Yes?" she gave him a sweet smile, continuing, "Can you get me a blanket, or something? I'm cold." She shivered, tucking her elbows close, his sweater dropping enough from her shoulder to expose the mark he'd made on her, during the surmised 'cleaning'. "And one of Erd's muffins. For Petra too, if you don't mind."

His hands fisted, but he turned around, slink turning to more of a stomp, "Sure."

"The walk will wake you up," She called, but he was walking away.

"That was fairly impressive," Petra said, hiding her little laugh.

"Ah, you have your guys to take care of," she said, "and, it takes much more to control Auruo, I believe, than with the weight of sex."

"True, I don't have that bonus."

When Levi came back, they shifted out of sex and common male idiocy talk, to books, Levi joining in, only to poke fun at her reading. Still she had her muffin, and tea, so she was more than happy, using him as something of a pillow. His finger slipped over her neck, caressing slow, easing his arm around her waist, obviously happier, being that he had talked to Petra regularly before this. Erd walked over, carrying more muffins and tea, plopping down on the third empty bench, completing the tucked away little space.

They began recounting battles, Erd and Petra arguing over some bits, then conceding when Levi interrupted with proper accounts. Gunther popped up, sat down next to Petra, and joined in. Small exclamations went up among the three squad members as Auruo walked over, wavy, pale blonde curls flattened, a new pot of tea in his hands, plopping down next to Zoe.

Levi cleared his throat, looking to the spot next to Erd, not amused as Auruo jostled them. The man picked himself up, after pouring her a new cup of tea. When Auruo sat down, Levi nodded, hooking his leg back over the other, the movement situating him closer, arm over the back of the bench, other still around her. His face was still impassive, though she knew he was content, at least.

His squad seemed to understand his dislike for praise, and Zoe alluded it to his loss of Isabel and Farlan. He'd loved it when they trained, smirking when the grudging compliments were given, his abilities sure and strong. But, he hadn't saved his friends so…

Levi did make sure to stop Auruo blustering, interjecting with a sharp comment. The other things he said were fairly restrained insults, adding to conversation with his filthy comments, though they weren't as bad as she knew he could get. She didn't have much to add in, until Levi told her to tell the story of her first Titan encounter.

Zoe's eyebrows raised, but she shrugged, "Okay, um, so, we were doing a practice formation, and I was brought along because the trainers loved me, and thought I could handle it. I mean, I did, but my squad members messed up when we encountered a Titan on the way back, missed the legs, or something, and while I was already up on it's neck and killed it, my gear malfunctioned, and a 13 meter was already thumping towards us, another mistake made, and most of the patrol was already back inside Maria, so I was fairly fucking dead, because I wasn't as proficient at killing them, one on one." shouldn't have said that. "Anyways, Levi's was working, and he broke off, and got me up the wall." She gave a tiny shudder. "I wasn't really sure of becoming a soldier, but...it's honestly the best option."

Auruo whistled, giving a short pause, in which he smiled, and said, "So, is that when you two- fear of death and all that shit?"

Levi blinked, and they shrugged at the same time, which seemed to amuse everyone to a good extent. The group moved on, suggesting what they should do today, blanching when Levi suggested cleaning in a flat voice, not a single indicator that he was joking. His expression dropped, and he waved his free hand, setting it to his forehead, flat line of his lips indicating that he was, in fact, joking.

Nervous laughs went around, and the group went back to musing over activities. Auruo snapped his fingers, pointing around the slight circle they created.

"There's a new bar-slash-theater, thingie, I dunno, by the river."

Erd gave a slight nod, "Sounds okay, but Auruo, I swear if this is another one of your brothel jokes, I will smack you in place of Petra."

It was better with friends. Especially when Auruo was stumbling about, very sloshed, Erd a bit tipsy, and therefore unable to help. Levi's eyebrows were twisted up in amusement, shoulders relaxed, watching the two sober members of his squad attempt to hold them up. Auruo was going on about how pretty Petra was, but that she was acting like they were married. Erd crashed into Auruo, in something of an attempt to shut him up, or something else, she had no idea.

All very amusing. But they all cared for each other, it was evident. Despite only being near them for a few weeks, she supposed...that she had friends now. Lovely sentiment, and she finally embraced it.

* * *

_The wind changed, the first day that you came through. Cut the corn, washed it clean. Now everything that's ever gone before, is like a blur; and it's all because of you. And now I find, this city's like a stranger to me, I once was fooled by Cadillac's and honey; but no one feels like you. Not like you._


	12. Melancholy Hill

__Baby I'm thinking it over; What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? What if it only gets colder? Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart? Cuz lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are_  
_

* * *

She usually didn't get weekends off like this. And while Levi was content to roll around in bed for the entire time, she actually did have a few things she needed. Levi scoffed, attempted to sway her with a couple of whispered promises, arm sliding tight around her waist, forehead pressed to her back, hand easing lower, lower, but she pulled it away before he actually convinced her, the good half hour she'd spent making herself presentable about to go to waste.

He couldn't seem to keep his hands off her this past week, and she swore his pants were off more than they were on. Not that she was complaining. But she was out of soap, and Levi wasn't as picky as she was when it came to cleaning products. Or being clean. Which she appreciated in a large way, and the warm air was presently making that borderline impossible, because fuck, he made her sweat.

"You can come if you want," she said, pulling up her boots, Levi now a good distance away.

He made a noncommittal noise, sheets twisted around him, underwear sloppily pulled up, hands behind his head. "You and Petra are going, right?"

"Yea."

Levi shrugged. "Maybe. I dunno."

She pegged him with a broken hair brush, the one he'd broken, and wasn't making any moves to replace. Levi shifted out of the way, tipping his head only, making no other move, and he still dodged it. Zoe moved in, determined to hit him, but she'd made the mistake of getting near, trying to backpedal, but he had her wrists in his hands. He tugged her down, flipping their positions so she was hardly given a moment on top.

There was a knock on the door, but he didn't even twitch, lips trailing down, focusing on making her stay. "Zoe, are you ready?" Petra asked.

Levi looked at her, his position very suggestive, whisper reaching her, "Stay here, yea?" He leaned back up, finger curling her hair around itself, giving a little tug. "for me."

She saw the smirk, and put her hand over his face, pushing him to the side. Mistake. Zoe could read the array of his smirks like it was one of her favorite books. But then, she'd be saying his face was her favorite, and that smirk he'd just given, which labelled the idea that he knew he'd won, would be right back in place. His jaw dropped, staring after her. Zoe turned back, waved at him with her fingers, and he jolted forward, scrambling off the bed, but she closed the door in his face.

He popped his head out, his clenched jaw the only indicator of his frustration, "Zoe, give me a few minutes, I'll be down."

"A few?" She laughed.

The door slammed, and she counted the 30 seconds well, she was sure she did. He popped out after those 30 seconds, and Zoe was fairly stunned, his arm around her waist, easing her towards Petra's waiting form, shadow cast over to their hall way. She looked at him, brows knitting together, really trying to wrap her mind around the time allotment. Levi had to keep her moving, while she just stared, wondering what the fuck- _how?_

* * *

**-LEVI-**

* * *

It was a fairly large mistake to go with them. Petra was more than happy to loiter inside the book store with Zoe, while Levi parked his ass outside, because he couldn't seem to find a place where he didn't, 'block the light'. He bounced a ball he'd found off the nearby wall, able to catch it without really paying too much attention to it, musing over the bookstores she knew.

And how many bookstore shop owners she had falling over her.

He counted them in his head with every catch of the ball, force he put behind his throw eventually causing it to power past his distracted attempt to catch it, crash through the shop window behind him. Levi froze, stared forward, lacing his hands in his lap, allowing himself to slump slow down, pretending to sleep. The shop owner, another young, tall male, ran outside, looked around, Levi's eye cracked just enough to see him.

Zoe walked out next, pointed the boy down the alley, turning to him when the boy rounded the corner, obviously finding an urchin, and shouting loud enough for Levi to hear. She coughed, and he opened his eye all the way, sitting up, grabbing her elbow, dragging her with him. Petra picked up on this, and jogged after them, cheeks red, while Zoe just glared up at him.

"You're not going into bookstores anymore."

"Yea."

"It's like you're cursed, or something."

"Probably."

She gave a huff, but they did stay away from things Levi could break. Petra left them at some point in the evening, waving at them with her free hand, large smile as her father tugged her back home for a home cooked meal. He'd never had one of those. They wandered to and fro for the day, eventually leaving the district area closest to the outpost.

Levi eyed her slow foot steps, looked to the looming wall. She reached set her hand to it, tilted her head up far enough, watching the shadow spread as the sun lowered, leaving them in the shadows. Her hand went next to the ladder, though it served more as a mounting platform, to make the transfer of cannon parts easier. Zoe's eyebrows pinched up, and he shifted closer, hand on her back.

His thumb rubbed slow over her her back, the white blouse soft, warm skin just a small layer of cloth beyond. She tipped, eyes finding his, seeming smaller, and he-he didn't know what to do. Didn't want to seem over eager, provide too much of a wall to lean on, because he wasn't sure he could handle her. He couldn't, and he really was the worst;sure, as he was in the case that he wasn't good enough, that she could have him looped around her finger, anytime. If she left, she could still have him there when she came back. Though Zoe might protest that she never got what she wanted.

Neither did he. But what if he needed her? No, that wasn't a good sentiment. Though he had heard Erd talking about his wife, mostly in worried terms, the anxiety increasing whenever their pay, though extremely meager, came through. He always directed it to his wife, and once he got a letter back confirming that, he relaxed. And Auruo; he made sure his family got it. Essentially, payday wasn't happy, more stressful.

Zoe reached, hand fisting on the rung,"I'm...I'm gonna climb up."

Levi nodded, let her go up, made sure she was moving safely upwards. Two Garrison Troop, obviously apart of the now common place patrols that were sent along Wall Rose. As soon as she was up, Levi went, just due to the fear that she might fall, and he'd have to catch her. The two men were stopped, talking to Zoe, utterances of Commander interspacing their words.

When Levi made his presence known, they lost their smiles, and hurried waves preluding their departure. She stared out, the sun just beginning to sink below the horizon. Her eyes dropped to the Titans. One reached, clumsily, and another was almost walking with the two Garrison Troops, though most could be seen on the half circle spreading out from Wall Rose, Trost District too far away to see.

"Sometimes, I...I think this is a dream. All of this. Just another dream. Nightmare, actually," she twisted her hands together, chewing on her bottom lip. "I could hear them, sometimes. Or maybe I was just deluding myself, but the farm, the farm was close to the Shingashi district, and I could hear them. Especially if we stayed there late into the night. Just, not exactly their noises; the banging on the walls." She shivered, hugged her knees to her chest. "My mother still believed. In one of those old religions. Not like the wall people, just; a single god."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Believe in a God."

She was quiet for a good time. The sun sunk halfway, in that far off place...wherever it was. And if he was to take part in a religion? He couldn't imagine that, holding allegiance to a negligent God. There wasn't a higher power. He'd never been convinced otherwise, from the first time he landed in the underground, to the hundred other times he'd gotten the shit kicked out of him. Levi created his own power, instead of looking to another.

Zoe opened her mouth, "If there was one, he's forgotten us."

He didn't say anything different. The same patrol passed them, lanterns alerting Levi to their position, though the two stopped by them for an entirely different reason, chatting seemed to be out of the equation, as the men asked them to leave the top. Of course, not without a good amount of stammering, joined together around, Commander, and Captain. Levi was sure the shorter one bowed, and he shook his head, going down before Zoe.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as soon as she was stable, though he took it away the next second. Their shadows stretched from the shadow of the wall, the dark line effectively casting a entertaining effect,an illusion that they were still on the wall. She watched that, her head angled down, shoulders giving a little shudder, as if she was cold, when the sun was swallowed up. Maybe by that far off place where it set; Levi supposed it'd rather stay there.

Levi hesitated, hand hovering in the air, watching the tears slide down her cheeks, her attempt to hide them. Zoe attempted to stop them as well, jaw clenching, but that trembled just the same. It...was one of his least favorite things to see, Levi had to admit. Seeing strong humans split down the middle, the wall illusion reduced to paper, flying away as easily.

His hovering hand tightened to a fist, a frantic sentence going round, and round in his head. For a good minute, it blocked common sense, convinced him that he couldn't do anything. That was the sentence. Simply, if you weeded out the list of promises he couldn't keep to Isabel, Farlan, Zoe, the Soldier who'd grasped his clean hand with all of his might, and the 100s of others before him; Levi couldn't do anything. Couldn't shoulder the weight.

Those disappointed faces were gone from his mind. Nothing but the fire that'd burned behind all of their eyes remained. And how he'd make someone pay for dousing it. The hands he'd held tight let his hand uncurl, stopped his lack of action here, words he'd spoken to them, or them to him,beat out the other ones.

But when he opened his hand, reached to touch her, she was gone, his limb only greeting air. Levi looked for her, saw her form in the darkness, and jogged to her, hand slipping around her waist, turning her properly. Zoe attempted to hide her face, whispering sorry, that it was silly that she was crying.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this," she said, waving her hand around her face. "Dunno why, I just-" Zoe breathed deep. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you sorry?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, "I...don't think you like it when I cry, and it's silly to anyways. I'm sure others have more to cry about. It's selfish."

"Just because someone might have more problems than you, doesn't mean you can't have some of your own, Zoe."

Levi relaxed as best he could, guiding his hand over her face, breaking the tear track. He wasn't really a comforting presence, and he was not good at that.. Comfort. Fuck. In general, he was hard to approach, and he'd embrace that anywhere else, at anytime. Now, he was switching gears to accommodate this girl, though he supposed he was going to have to regard her as a woman, with a nice array problems that made his head spin at times.

She nodded, though she didn't step forward, attempt for any other physical contact. Saw her shoulder whatever her weight was, but he didn't see the shudder, thought it was odd that he'd been the one to stitch her back together. Levi didn't think he was good at anything besides causing pain, really, recalled them laying in her bed, when he'd looked at his hand, considered a child. He'd fuck that up, and he supposed he should just learn from his mistakes, make a decision that wouldn't bring on unnecessary pain.

A swath of people suddenly enveloped them, and Levi lost sight of her, darkness doing nothing to provide clarity. He was smaller than a lot of these people, the revelers obviously fairly drunk. He caught sight of a bar, though he was attempting to walk away from the river, find their way back to the castle. Shit. Zoe had the worst sense of direction, and just-where was she? Levi shouldn't have followed her, or at least attempted to redirected her when he stopped her. Secondly, she'd been crying, so, her already impaired directional abilities would've been worsened.

The moon was hidden behind clouds, so this was...fucking dark. If not for the lanterns the people were carrying, he'd hardly be able to his hand in front of him. Levi was swept along, voice drowned among the shouted rendition of a song. He tried for an elbowing approach, and it succeeded long enough for him to catch sight of her, wondering if he looked as shell-shocked as she did.

Still, he was buffeted to and fro, and Levi almost dove for her when he could, catching her wrist in his hand. She tripped, and fell back, yanking him with her, falling, thankfully, out of the crowd, sitting there next to him.

"Wrong way," he managed.

"Yea."

And she laughed, turning, tucking her face to his chest. His movement was more instinct, arm slipping best as it could around her waist, for the third time that evening. Levi allowed a brief smile, chin dropping on her head, just happy she was happy, for the most part. That she was here with him, which...was always nice. His thumb moved slow up and down on her skin, the tumble they'd taken forcing her shirt to ride up.

The fabric created a shock, to him at least, and he stared down at her. Wished the world was simpler. But then, would she give him the time of day? Time like this, with her warm body against his, heart beating close to his.

When the people finally moved far enough away for him to feel that they'd be safe, he moved to get up. She clasped his hand, rising with him, her hand fitting in his as comfortably as him clasping his two hands together. Maybe more. He didn't really know, didn't want to dwell on it.

Erwin had asked him what they classified themselves as. Levi hadn't responded as quickly as he usually did, because he had no word for it. He couldn't stand the idea of him coming back, and not seeing her. Or maybe, one time, he wouldn't come back. So, it had to be better just allowing them to exist as such, without labels present to bring anymore pain when something went wrong.

And he did love her. He'd tell her, if she'd believe it.

* * *

_When I need the shelter, I'll know just who to call; when I need the shelter, I'll be knocking on your door. But when it comes to dying, I'll do it on my own. I've never been too clever, I've always just hung on._

* * *

/AN: shortest one I've posted. Probably going to be some time before the next one, just wanted to get this up, working on a good chunk, Bed peace, so, you know, smut is definitely going to be back in place next chapter. Break off. Then to the expedition storyline. /


	13. Feelings On My Sleeveless

_And please remember me, seldomly, in the car behind the carnival. My hand between your knees, you turn from me, and said the trapeze act was wonderful (re:end of this half)_

* * *

Levi stood still, eyes forward, arms spread to the side. His squad was trying not to laugh too hard, and Zoe covered her face with her hands, trying to apologize, but he really did look funny. The birds shifted, wings fluttering as they hopped, Zoe reflecting that this was the most color she'd seen on him, blue jays mixing with robins and fat yellow ones, the late afternoon apparently a busy hour.

She had no idea what she'd done, because she was fairly sure that'd been soap. Wasn't it? But then, this was also Eren's fault, because he'd tripped, and with that the bird feed had arched through the air, fallen on Levi on chance, as he'd been walking towards her to sort out the issue with his cape. The birds had zeroed in on him, and thus, Levi had been made into a makeshift bird feeder.

He let them have it, though Eren was running back from the castle with enough material to take care of the situation. Levi moved when the last bird was ousted from his shoulders, brushing himself off, eyes cutting to her. His squad had dispersed, and he stepped past her, grumbling under his breath. She jogged after him, rounding the castle to the large garden they had going.

The recruits had just finished there, looking fairly happy as everyone moved to training, rather than agriculture. She caught him, apologized, ignoring his little snipes, putting some effort into the words, coaxing him to her. Finally, he angled his head down, murmured to her, words lacking the bite they'd had, kissing her, tongue passing quickly over his lips, hands shifting over her hips, tugging her to him. Wondered what her lips tasted like to him, if he looked that happy, along with him licking his lips like that.

Zoe leaned back, made him put a bit of effort into this now, laughing as he ducked his head further. His hands gripped tight at her, rough enough that she swore she could feel the indents left. She left her hands in his hair, looked over his shoulder, just trying to pick up for the lack of regard he gave for being watched, though she soon joined that feeling.

His hands pushed under her clothes, yanking her back to him if she ever moved more than an inch, leaving her to catch her breath. Levi turned her, and she didn't have a moment to do that, swore his hands were everywhere, wanted them in one or two places. He popped her buttons, though Zoe attempted to protest this, but then her name rolled off his tongue, and she didn't care about her clothes anymore.

Wanted them off, because it was fucking hot. In two senses of the words, as having those quick hands sliding over her skin was so, so good. He was hardly heeding her 'slow it down', the exchange going farther than just him feeling her up. Zoe attempted to bring his attention to their surroundings, but she couldn't seem to get a word out that wasn't something to encourage him.

"Bed," she finally managed.

"Wha?" Levi didn't get the t part down.

"Bed."

He paused, then nodded. They went up through the kitchen, managing to avoid everybody, though the population had steadily increased. Levi didn't stop to care about his clothes, and she started to complain about the unfair nature of her being absolutely naked while he got to stand there with some semblance of decency, though his pants were hardly held up. Also, her complaints were quickly dashed as he kissed down, her legs shifted over his shoulders, and she really forgot about a lot of things.

It was familiar, this, though he always managed to do something new, or maybe she was over thinking the feeling. Still, he did something with his tongue, and she fell apart every single time, didn't matter what fucking situation. So good, she hated him for a second, wished she had a complaint concerning his technique, just wanted something to hold a candle to him. Maybe a 'you could've fucked me harder', but then, he took that _very_ seriously.

Her hands tangled in his hair, wondered if it hurt him, but he made a noise against her, pushing her farther up the bed, back bending, making an effort to get closer to her. Fuck, that was; she couldn't voice much else, but a steadily slurred 'just like that', eventually tapering off. He wasn't moving far enough to even attempt his normal teasing, he just- fucking, fuck, so-

His nails dug into the skin of her thighs, other hand used to hold her open to him, eyes flicking once to hers, easing back for only a second. He shifted again, muscles of his back moving as well under his skin, Levi pressing his lips to her inner thigh, same one he had his nails in. Her breath shook from her frame, keeping her eyes on his, hardly daring to move, wished she could hire a painter or something, see if they could capture the moment. But that was silly, because she saw that look in his eyes a couple times a day.

His voice was rough, "Yea?"

"Yea," she responded, didn't know what for, if he needed validation, whatever.

He closed his eyes, smirk touching his red lips, touching down. "Good."

And maybe she was left wondering sometimes. About what he was feeling, because LEvi was difficult to read on his good days. Still, she knew what he wanted, what he liked, though she wondered if any of her deeper feelings were mutual. Zoe forgot about that when they were like this, preferred it, even, despite the lack of visual empathy, though maybe, that's why she'd choose it, because there was more present.

Her train of thought was lost, hands twisting in their sheets, noticing that Levi had changed them out, then ignored that as well. Focused on physical again. How his tongue was lolling to and fro, fingers slipping into her, that little noise he made against her. A smaller orgasm shot through her, right after a far larger one, his fingers coaxing that out of her, gave her something to clench around, going limp as she came down.

He hummed, and she twitched, glaring at him, wanting to enjoy this. The shithead. And she swore he liked it when she called him names, a smirk over his lips as he moved in, fingers leaving her. Levi kissed her, tongue slipping into her mouth, hands sliding slow over her body, and she let hers draped over the back of his neck, digging her nail into his skin.

His hands left her body, to which she whined, breaking away to find out where they'd gone. He tossed his pants to the side, looking back at her when they hit the floor, body curving down, hard muscle pressing her into the mattress. The kiss contained a bite this time, her hand gripping tight in his hair, other on his back, responding with what she could.

Her breath hitched, and she let her arms drape around his neck, allowing herself to be jostled as he lead her legs to place around his waist. His lips didn't meet hers again, Levi pressing them instead to her jawline, kissing unhurriedly along that location, as if they really had all the time in the world. Teeth came into play, and she tipped her head to the side, allowing him to do a bit of damage.

Zoe gave a soft, pitchy noises, somewhat disappointed, when he turned her, set her on her knees. She told herself not to be silly, let her forearms prop herself up, arching her back down, watching him over her shoulder. He made a low noise, hand smoothing over her stomach, letting her breath in the lull before he pressed himself into her. As always, a quick flash of pride shuddered down her frame, knowing she was the only one who had him like this.

The only one who made his composure break, have him this desperate, manhandling her into position. Levi claimed he could fuck his orders into her, pressing her into the mattress, waiting for her agreement. Her answer was hardly distinguishable, almost shouted, yanking the sheets harder, giving her some grip.

He pressed his face into her neck, breathing harsh, the fairly obscene noises of him fucking into her just as loud. Zoe gritted her teeth, disliking that he found it necessary to give her barely a second to adjust. But fuck. Fuck, he knew her body, a bare amount of time stretching before he shifted himself, hit her g-spot, made her bit her bottom lip, loud moan muffled. Levi cursed, hips snapping hard to hers, keeping them there, not pulling out any more, just grinding there as she shuddered under him.

He tipped back, enough to press a few kisses over her back, mouthing over something that made her threaten to give under him, stamina nothing compared to his. She made a pitiful noise, walls squeezing around his cock, caught small moan thrumming in his throat. Zoe rocked back, just enough for some friction, needed a bit more, didn't want to say something, focusing on breathing.

"Fucking tell me," his teeth pressed over her neck movement rocking her forward, no mind her hold in the sheets. "Tell me who."

She shuddered, trying to string together a sentence. "you."

"Spell it out," he said, hips starting to move again, and her mouth dropped open.

"It's-"

"I fucking want to hear you say it, Zoe," His breath was coming harder, fingers moving against her clit, practiced, almost. "Don't I fuck you right? Better than anyone. You love it, love it, love how I fill you up, don't you? Stretched around me, just like this. Tight, hot; fucking perfect. I'll fuck you however you want, just let me hear you."

She trembled, little black spots in her vision, feeling her orgasm coming closer. "Fuck, fuck, everything- it's fucking yours, Levi, shit, give it-" a moan broke her phrase, but she continued, words spilling from her lips, replacing some words with fuck, "to me. Fucking need that, fuck me hard, Captain," said the word like it was magic,hoped she'd pressed the right button, "Levi, please," he pulled her hair, cut her off, angled her so he could kiss her. His arm moved fast under her, over her stomach, held her up till he moved, let her fall, though he followed her somewhat.

He breathed into her ear, deep voice absolutely filthy, "You're not going to forget it, are you? You're mine, Zoe, it's all fucking mine. That mouth- huh?" He was dwindling to the same page she was on, the hardly sentence forming one.

She never would. Never mind his bruising grip on her; that did his job of reminding her till the little bruises the next day. And that hand print on her ass? Zoe shouted his name, jerking under him, forehead resting on the sheets, mouth wide as she tried to fill her empty lungs, twisting slow. His hand gripped the sheets tight next to her, her name on his lips again, even though his weight was almost crushing now.

His body shuddered, and he fell to the side, sweat-slick skin making her almost too hot, "Fuck," he whispered.

"What?" She said.

"Dirty."

"Shut up."

He hummed, shifting. "Bath?"

Levi rolled out of bed, grabbing underwear and loose clothes, pawing briefly at his messy hair, a few strands stuck to his forehead. She watched him, easing onto her side, saw that little smirk, wished she had energy to smack him. Her eyes went to the window, saw the night sky, gave a sigh, turned back to Levi.

"You'll do all the work?"

"Of course."

"And what else?"

"What?"

"I thought you liked cleaning."

He walked back slowly to her, dipped close, "You want me to bathe you?"

"That'd be nice." She saw his eyes deviate, travel over her body. "Unless you like me dirty."His eyes went back to her in an instant. "Yea?" Zoe reached, let her fingers travel over his jaw line. "Dirty for you, hmm? Wash it off," He nodded, though his eyes were attempting to watch her fingers as she allowed them to trail, dipping in the line of his pants. "Then what, fuck me till I'm dripping with you? Fucking filthy."

"Fuck," he hissed, whole body tense. "That mouth, Zoe." Last time he'd said that, he'd jogged out of a meeting, caught her, though she'd seen him shifting. So hard he couldn't sit still.

"You like it, then?"

He crouched, "yea, Zoe." He reached, let his thumb skim over her cheekbone. "I love you dirty for me. Love you."

For a brief second, they broke off, tension swinging off. Her eyebrows twisted up, looked him right in the eye, waiting for him to say it again without anything behind it, feeling it there as well, the 'l' word. As well as the 'o' a little while back. Wondered why they were…why she was too messed up to even say it to him, that word, didn't want to consider it. It might pop out.

Zoe let her eyes drop away, kissed him instead, nipping his bottom lip enough to break the mood, a different tense dropping away, and the trapeze swingers traded places, apparently.

The only time he loved her was in her dreams. So she'd keep that there, determined not to delude herself. Mix dream with reality.

* * *

**-LEVI-**

* * *

_It's not love, but it's pretty close. (...) Curled up with my head on your chest; it's the best remedy for the pain and the stress. If the world doesn't change then we'll never get dressed. It'll be like this to the kiss of the death. Not a good team; one soul, two halves. No joke, who laughs?_

_Just us._

* * *

They slept well into the afternoon. Or, she did, and Levi had made efforts as to keep her sleeping, knowing they had at least a day to stay in bed. When she did wake up, it was due to the food he brought up with him, Zoe sitting up with their sheets around her. He'd changed them while she was sleeping, which had been somewhat difficult. But in the name of cleaning, he'd continued.

Levi had the tray on the bed side table, watching her, with her messy hair, smiling to himself, thought she managed to be adorable with those curls that were only produced when she did nothing with her hair after a shower. She looked at him, elbowed him, though there wasn't any weight put into it, and she leaned on him instead. Her legs moved under the blankets, Levi letting one his hang off of the bed, swinging to and fro.

They shifted, and Levi curled up, rested his head on her stomach. He locked his hands behind his head, though one separated to smooth over her skin. Zoe motioned towards the ceiling, Levi watching her paint pictures in the air to go along with her stories. Those silly little stories that had sadness laced in them, about how her brother got her out of trouble, or tipped a cow. How Jaz managed to not get caught, but Zoe wasn't sneaky enough to manage that.

He coughed, looking at her, pointing out his previous statements. Levi got his hair pulled for that, her nose screwing up as she did, going silent until she heard an apology, or at least some regretful muttering. A hummed sigh pushed past his lips when she began talking, happy to have her voice back, closing his eyes to focus on it. Like he did on expeditions when he was finally given downtime.

Also, when Hanji started talking to him. Great way to tune her out, because she did ramble. And he swore he'd heard four-eyes talk about her Titan experiments about ten times more than he needed to.

"My mom told me it was fireworks."

"Hmm?"

She hadn't given a subject.

"The cannon fire. When they tested them."

Levi looked at her, but didn't say anything, waited for her to continue. When she didn't, Levi took over for her, started talking about the underground. The limited amount of happy places down there, but he did talk about Isabel and Farlan. Along with his other friends; followers, maybe. Not really, though they'd not assigned real leadership to him, in the sense of words. Thought he...couldn't really shoulder that if faced with it.

He steered clear of that, talked about their complicated method of stealing food from the vendors in the Capital, made sure to poke at her and Nule's regulations with a pointed sentence. She tipped her chin up in away, not meeting his eyes. Levi continued, how one time Farlan had strung 10 apples through a wire, and wore that, along with a sausage chain, as they escaped.

"Inspiring."

"A real innovator," Levi said.

She shook her head, and he moved just enough to kiss her, bracing himself for an instant over her, before he flopped to the other side, rested his head back on her chest with a soft sigh. Fuck, she was a distraction. A nice way to delude himself that the world was peaceful, and if that sentiment never changed, he'd happily remain distracted. With the pretty girl with soft hands and a smile that made him happy to hardly move. Happy he had someone for when the world ended

"I never heard you talk so much about the underground," she said.

"Not much to talk about," he muttered.

"Liar," she chided, finger curling in his hair, in that ridiculously calming way only she could.

"Well. Not much has changed. Since, you know. 844."

"Lie there, as well."

"What?"

"You frown more."

Levi gave a snort, shook his head, "Oiya, Zoe; I do not."

"And you don't say oi as much as you did, so."

"Committed that all to memory, have you?"

"Haven't you?" she hesitated, then continued with that tiny stammer, "I mean, you know, in respects to me."

He agreed with that, let a good stretch of silence stretch between them. Then he talked about the underground, even covered commonplace knowledge; how it'd been built as something meant for upper middle class families and above. How the place had fallen to people like him, maybe. How the military police didn't go down there anymore. How dark things flourished.

They'd deserted them there, the authorities, fuck lack of order, they'd _deserted_ them, all of them down there, refugees like a wall had been broken in. Everyone was in opposition, and there wasn't any room to think otherwise. Easier to find some kind of weapon down there than food, and proper clothing. People went to sleep, didn't wake back up; no one cared, really. Levi told her about the first time he'd seen Isabel, pulled her head up out of the filth, squinted at the little girl who'd managed to sneak a pocket watch from an official, down there for some fishy business.

Zoe gave a laugh when he told her he'd been thrown up on, to which Levi twisted, set himself over her again, and kissed her quiet. She hummed as he eased back, turned on her side to face him, snuggled to the open circle of his arms, resting her head on the same pillow he had his on. Levi reached, flicking her nose, and she wrinkled it an instant after he moved away.

"moron," she mumbled.

"Sometimes."

Her hand settled in his hair, tugged softly, then dropped away. "You miss them?" she asked that, though she knew the answer. But it was the concern behind it that made him appreciate the question.

"Yea. A hell of a lot."

"When?"

He clenched his teeth tight, sat up just to avoid her eyes. But he told her what he could see through the rain, how it had all seemed a bit hazy when he came to. How he didn't remember killing the swath of Titans that'd sprung up on the squad. He'd been after Erwin; kill him, and take the papers. After that he and his friends were going to live in the capital. Where Isabel wouldn't come home with half her hair hacked off, and cry into a pillow. Even if he made those shitpigs regret it, the damage couldn't be erased.

The first expedition, too. Wasn't it his fucking luck? She set her forehead against his back, fingers touching over the scars she could find, arms wrapping loose around his waist. It didn't help, just reminded him that she was going to go on an expedition with him. Levi's teeth audibly grated together, and he stared straight down at the sheets, wondered how he could get her to not come with him.

But she was so fucking stubborn. His heart was going to go out, fuck the Titans, Zoe would have him before that. Fear threatened to overwhelm him, and though she wasn't asking him what it was, he'd never be able to tell her. Didn't want her to experience it, actually. What if she couldn't shoulder it like he could? Since she couldn't, he was going to make sure she wasn't coming with them. Fuck all that.

He wasn't going to lose her, was going to make his decisions based on his experiences. Still, even if he did that, sometimes it didn't turn out correctly, go according to plan. Levi turned to her, solidifying his new objective when she smiled. Though he was being selfish. Unfair to her.

A knock came at the door, and Levi glared at it, recalling that he'd told numerous squad leaders, as well as his own subordinates to not bother him, or allow them to. The heavy handed knocker banged his hand against the door. Started up a rhythm, and Levi narrowed his eyes towards the door, trying to fathom who had the guts to be that annoying, and to do that annoying thing near him. Zoe sighed heavily, eyes flickering to the night sky, obviously assuming this little break of peace was going to end. Or had ended.

Zoe said, "Nathan."

The knocking stopped, large chuckle making it through. "Commander, I gotta talk to you, yea?"

"Why are you asking me at an hour like this?" She put her hand in her hair, or at least on the side the had a larger amount.

Levi leaned in, set his forehead to her shoulder blade this time instead, hand smoothing slow down her back. She turned, moved with him as he tugged her close, barely muffling her laugh as his hair brushed over her shoulder, always ticklish there, oddly. He really preferred her without the robe she'd started to pull on, her underwear fairly easy to maneuver out of the way.

She tipped, allowed him to kiss her, and he wondered what it was about her that made these kisses sweet, as much as the feeling behind it. Though, he'd lived long enough to know that the things that were sweet like her, also managed to be something that hurt. Like a cavity, maybe.

"I mean, mostly because," Nathan was saying, "we're supposed to be directing that set up. Yea?"

"Fuck," she said, accidentally elbowing him, but she was hopping into her uniform pants, an apology not forthcoming. "Fuck, is it- how much time?"

"We've got a day, yea? But you're going to have to draw up the requirements."

She spoke a bit more loudly, head angled down to focus on her boots, "We're doing it behind Sina again, right?"

"Yea, yea, so it's easier commute from the capital."

"And security reasons, Nathan. We need the gate checks up as soon as we open it to the attendees from Rose."

Zoe only managed an anxious, almost sorry look over her shoulder, jacket barely over her shoulders before she let the door slam behind her. Levi breathed out, shifted himself to the near by chair, felt it was all too lonely in that bed without her. He let his arm dangle over the back of the chair, annoyed with the knowledge he'd have to go up to Wall Sina, find Erwin, and make sure Zoe didn't go with him.

So. Should be fun.

* * *

_It just got warm out, this the shit I've been warned 'bout. I hope that it storm in the morning, I hope that it's pourin' out. (...)I hate the sound of fireworks. And I ponder what's worse between knowing it's over and dying first. _


	14. Eyes Wide Shut

_See, I always find, and I always find, yeah, I always find somethin' wrong. You been puttin' up with my shit just way too long. I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most. Baby, I got a plan; Run away fast as you can_

* * *

Erwin's bushy eyebrows raised, and Levi looked away, repeating his words at his Commander's insistence, though this time, it wasn't as relaxed. He spoke through his teeth, finger stabbing into the arm of the chair he sat in, adding a snarled curse alongside it. Those bushy eyebrows creased that forehead, and Erwin shook his head.

Levi didn't need that fucking guilt trip, told him, "Erwin, I don't need that judgy look. Fuckin' creepy-" he cut himself off, knew he'd get on a roll, and start naming reasons for Erwin to give him said judgy look. "She's not coming."

"And does she have a say in this?"

"No, she doesn't. And it's not her say. You're the Commander, and I'm your Captain, yea? So fucking command her not to come with us, I'm not losing her like that."

"Levi, it's unfair, and you know that. I don't need to stand on my soapbox, and shout over you like the town crier, do I?" Levi attempted to say something, but Erwin cut across him, said, "I'll make sure she doesn't. But you're going to tell her."

"...Are you shitting me, blondie, just fucking tell her, I don't want to."

Erwin gave him that judgy look, one bushy eyebrow up, while the other one remained in place. "Levi, please. How old are you?"

Levi opened his mouth to tell him just what he thought of his bushy eyebrows, and general know-it-all attitude, as well as bringing up the fact that Hanji had been near him the entire way up, so his patience was fucking limited. Those morals, just-. A knock interrupted his breath, and Levi twitched, glared over his shoulder, until Zoe's pretty little head popped in the room. She raised a hesitant hand, the limb trembling, and despite her anxious nature, he was relaxed by her, until he recalled the fact that he was going to have to tell her that she wasn't coming with him.

"You did call me, right, Erwin?" Zoe asked, clearing her throat, smile touching her lips.

Levi almost let one through, but then Nathan popped his head out above her, grinned over her. His mouth dipped into a frown immediately, the late afternoon light stronger out in the hallway. Another man attempted to look into the room, sharp-eyed, with a buzz cut; at least not annoying looking as Nathan's was. Always smiling; and the people who always smiled were the ones to look out for. Especially always smiling in this world.

She turned, shooing the two away from the door before she closed it after her. Levi still saw their feet, blocking the light into the dimly lit room, as Erwin was in the wing of the building that was undergoing reconstruction, tarp over the window into his Commander's room. Zoe gave Levi a brief look, fairly happy, it seemed, no matter her hand twisting behind her, nerves back as soon as she was here.

He'd like to take her away, but then. No. Because Erwin was gesturing to him, nodding for him to speak.

Levi took a deep breath, sat straight-backed in the seat, stared forward, "You're not coming on the expedition next week."

"What?" Zoe's voice dropped, "Commander Erwin, I don't understand. Have I done something? I thought-I-did give you the proper papers for my abrupt departure yesterday, but besides that, I believe I've been nothing but helpful."

"No, no, Commander Roth, it was my Captain's insistence. I assure you, I'd appreciate your assistance there, but, since," Erwin raised a hand briefly, and Levi felt the shift from confusion to heavy annoyance next to him.

"Yes," Levi said simply, agreeing there.

"What is he talking about?" Zoe attempted to pander to Erwin.

Levi spoke instead of his Commander, "You're not coming on the expedition, Zoe."

"Excuse me?" Her focus was on him, and he finally looked at her. "Excuse you, I should say."

"You're not going." He bit the words out, in the same blunt manner he usually spoke with.

"Fuck you."

"You have." About a second after the last word left his mouth, Levi regretted it.

Her mouth dropped open, and she turned on her heel, stomped out. Levi stood from his chair, followed her out, shoving the two MPs to the side, grabbing her elbow, yanking her to a halt. She tried to smack him, but he blocked it, stopped her as she reeled back, made sure she didn't fall, hand catching at her waist, shirt hitching up out of her belt.

"I can handle myself, Levi," She snapped, wriggling in his hold. "Why are you telling me I can't go with you?"

"Because you're not going to die."

"Don't you ever; are-. How dare you?" She jerked back as she said, crossed her arms over her chest, "Who the fuck do you think you are, Levi? You want to protect me? It's unfair to me, why are you making decisions for me? People have gone outside the wall, and die for a better cause than I've ever had. They've made that decision, and the sacrifice. You shouldn't have the authority to decide that. I feel; am I not good enough?"

"I don't _want_ you to die."

"I don't care. It's my decision. You're undermining me, Levi," She stepped back, anger fading, just a sad, disappointed air in her slumped shoulders and dropped head. "It's offensive. For all the preaching you do on me standing on my own." She tried a breath, shook her head, barely met his eyes. "Yea. Whatever this is; I think, I think it should stop."

She stepped farther away from him, hands swinging at her side, little smile on her lips as she raised her hand, though it didn't raise all the way. Zoe shook her head as she turned, Nathan and buzzcut falling into wall behind her. Nathan took a second to turn, pointed at her as she rounded the corner, though buzzcut reached and yanked him after them.

Nathan did manage to accurately mouth, "Not stealing anymore." Or was it, "I'm going to fuck her." or maybe, "I'll fix her, then I'll fuck her."

But that's what he did. In some order, he was-. No. No, he didn't fix her.

LEvi shook his head, turning away walking a few steps, face screwing up briefly, shadows hiding him, scaring the MPs when the patrol moved around the corridor again, out of the hallway. The female pressed a hand to her chest, laughing to the male at her side, who glared at her, muttered, 'stupid broad', under his breath, but the female just leaned in, annoyed him more. They turned the same corner Zoe had left by, and Levi twisted, hoping to see her there. Sure she'd come back to him, because she never walked away, even when she breathed one night that he'd fuck her into open caskets, whatever that was. When she wasn't there, his heart sank.

Fuck, fuck; that was so stupid, and overconfident. He started to move, but Erwin stepped into his path, and that judgy eyebrow thing made Levi's eye twitch, glaring at him. Fucking blondie.

* * *

_Disguising ourselves as secret lovers, We've become public enemies. We walk away like strangers in the street. (...) So far from where we came; With so much of everything, how do we leave with nothing? Lack of visual empathy equates the meaning of L-O-V-E._

* * *

Zoe slapped her papers down, two fingers to her temple, Nathan beside her, along with Nile, and Jay. She sniffed, blinking rapidly to dispel the itchy feeling at her eyes, glancing to the clock periodically as they went over the last minute form requests for festival space. Even if she was surprised that everyone was willing to participate in it with the Trost debacle hardly a month behind them. Or, maybe, it was Eren's appearance that was keeping spirits up.

Levi. The word popped into her mind, and she took a large breath, though her lungs seemed to be...fuck, she didn't know. But he'd removed agency from her directly, because apparently she couldn't make decisions. Zoe's mouth twisted down, and she squeezed her eyes shut, leg bouncing wildly under their table, clasping her hands together, body shaking under the sudden rush of nerves. She wasn't good enough. Didn't need to remind herself, she'd been told that numerous times over by her fellows here, and as a Cadet.

She just didn't think LEvi would ever make her feel that way. Ever, ever. Fuck, she was so useless, so useless, so fucking useless she couldn't do anything, could she? It was more of an inside voice as her world lost clarity, tears clouding her vision, tipped down, so the tiles blurred instead of her paper. Nile gave a little cough, but his words were muted, less concern showing on his face, rather than Nathan and Jay.

Jay attempted to rest his hand on her back, but she jerked, head resting on her clasped hands. Nile collected the paper, as she supposed they were done, walked out of the room into the late evening. Jay and Nathan stayed, her trembles making the table shiver, breath wheezing out of her corrupted lungs, that little voice going over, and over, and over, and over, reminding her that she'd lost everything. Added that it was her fault, and she nodded her head frantically, hoped that agreeing with it might bring some end to her wild shaking.

Zoe wasn't even good enough to die. She didn't want to ask him why; but why she couldn't go her own way? But, no, she'd have to pass him by. And he seemed determined to put her in a box, hide her, keep her close, open the box once or twice, shelter her under false pretences. Maybe put her in gold caste, but things dipped in gold didn't grow.

She'd spent so long chasing him, though he wouldn't do the same courtesy. Didn't even turn around.

Nathan gripped her shoulder tight, Jay setting a mug in front of her, dragging his chair close, sitting there instead of crouching like Nathan was. She raised her eyes, palmed at them, allowed Nathan to side beside her, wrap his arm around her waist. DEspite that it was very unprofessional. Especially as he drew her even closer, but it helped.

"You alright?" Jay finally asked when she reached for the cup of tea, halfway in Nathan's lap.

Zoe nodded, croaking, "yea."

"Good," he gave her a brief nod, gaze dropping from hers, flickering instead over the room. "I suppose bed, yea? We have to get up early, coordinate the grounds, etcetera. And then, we can get a bit civilian and join in. Dance. Maybe. I dunno." Jay stood up, brushing his uniform off, giving her a brief nod, and walking out.

Nathan's hand fell then on her knee, squeezing tight, rubbing up a bit. She looked at him, wanted to tell him to stop, but she was exhausted. And frankly, in the mood for some type of rebound. So when he kissed her, she responded. Though she didn't know why he wanted to kiss her. Wasn't she a mess? In two senses of the word. Probably looked like shit. And this advance was inappropriate, Nathan obviously not greeting her position with the degree of respect she wanted. No.

She didn't really deserve respect. Even a decision. She'd never been good at leading, and all her choices were being made for her. Zoe had attempted making her own way, but all the colossal signs, usually stamped with, 'do better', 'not good enough', 'what would your mother think?', 'panic attack'. And Levi, she supposed, had been the one to help her knock them down and out of the way, let her steer her course with only tiny pointers. Now, they all seemed to be back in place, stronger than ever, because he'd grabbed the reigns and tried to steer her through a place she knew better than him.

Crash.

She allowed his hands to rove, feeling fairly drawfed, hands to either side of his face, holding him to her, the way he kissed lacked the varying techniques Levi had. The finesse as well, and Nathan moved fast, didn't really let her get comfortable, switching gears enough to make her head spin. Still, it was fairly nice, she supposed, because he was far more playful than Levi, who packed utter dominance whenever they got down to it. Or maybe passionate, was what she should describe it as.

Nathan's hands splayed over her ass, pulled her closer, and Zoe tried to kiss him harder, just wanted to remove Levi from her mind, but he pulled away, "You wanna be my date for that festival, Zoe?"

Anger zipped quick through her. "It's Commander Roth."

"Sure, baby."

She bit her bottom lip, shook her head, didn't meet his eyes, "Sure, sure. Why not?"

"Sweet," he said, reached, ran his finger under her bra strap. "You're like, quiet, you know? Cute, small, not really assertive, and quiet, so. You know. Yea. Marriage material. Ladylike. Some girls get kind of puffed up when they're in military, order men around."

Zoe couldn't really say anything, though she wanted to, annoyed by the final, clear blow to his illusion of respecting her. She shrank into herself, made herself smaller like she was good at, nodded along and smiled like her mother taught her to. Decisions couldn't be made by herself, and so she just...sat. A bit of opposition tried to rise up in her, but she ignored that, blotted out the words that encouraged her to stand tall, how she shouldn't allow herself to sit and take this.

She managed to go to bed a reasonable hour, Nathan prattling on about marriage. How she was quiet. Wished he'd be quiet. He said something about her resigning, and Zoe just stared at the floor. She may as well. Should make Sjeh and her mother happy, wherever she was; though that was assuming there was a celestial body that hosted dead people.

* * *

Zoe moved from booth to booth, held out her hand for papers, checked them over. Garrison troops and MPs moved in hordes, though the latter was doing a considerably smaller amount of work, carrying things as the merchants shouted, directed them from place to place in the grassy fields. A pavilion, comprised of a huge white tarp and stilts to hold it up, spanned over the vendors. Already, a flock of people were here, laughter free, lacking the tense tone she'd heard a month back.

She watched the band set up, under a tarp of their own, string instruments soft as they were warmed up. When she cleared the papers, the sun was at its zenith, and she was sweating in her uniform, this one being fairly ornamental, badges on her chest. Very ceremonial and official, extra cloth added to meet the standard, and this standard was presented by the presence of the rich, disgustingly so, Lords and Ladies, who all had political leverage.

Jay was walking next to his parents, almost mechanical in his movements, white and gold embroidered vest over a loose white button up, white pants finishing the rich effect. He tugged at the collar, quiet as she was, nodding along in a motion she knew all too well. Most of the younger, rich men were wearing variations of that, but they all looked more than comfortable, cozying up to women and girls, the lack of frill stamping their heritage as from the Wall Rose area.

Zoe stopped when Jay hailed her, cleared his throat, gesturing without words to her. His eyes flitted away from hers, and Zoe did the same, to an extent, tried not to stammer in front of these people. Her confidence had plummeted, as the one man who trusted her decisions continually, and her, she supposed, had decided to flip that ideal on its head. It shouldn't be affecting her like this, but it was, and she hated him for having this kind of leverage on her feelings.

Nathan jogged to her, his arm slipping around her waist, taking over. Spoke for her, like he knew her. What most men did. Zoe kept her eyes up for the most part, catching Jay's gaze for only a moment, though it reflected the melancholy, and wayward tone she thought hers conveyed. She was just fucking lost, spiralling, spiralling.

"How about you go get changed?" Nathan asked, finger slipping under her chin, tipping her head up. "Yea?"

Zoe nodded. Got changed, though she was reviewing just what would happen as she walked back to the festival. He'd get tired of her, Nathan. Would go off, cheat on her, despite the ring on his finger, the sacrifices she made. And maybe, he'd drink as their relationship spiraled, all the noble deeds he'd promised wouldn't get done, but she'd embrace the idea. Like the sun, maybe. The drinks would break down some wall, and he'd hit her. But she'd lie, say it was something else, convince her self over and over that it was her fault.

Knew, though Nathan had picked up a torn paper doll, he wasn't looking to piece her back together. Properly, at least. He'd tack her up against a wall, disguise the rips with pretty pieces, among trophies, even. Then throw her away.

She should learn how to be a wiser fool.

But Nathan spun her to the music, made her head do the same. She went to go sit back on the blanket, sun low in the sky now. Jay nodded to her, ripping the grass from the earth beneath him, white fingers stained dark, nails dark with the packed soil there. He made an effort to wipe it off, but stopped, pulled his knees up, rested his head between them. They were ghosts on the edge of this. People stopped by to look through them.

Then Petra waved at her, Jay looked up, both of them doing this at the same time. His cheeks were tinted pink, and he looked away, even as Squad Levi made themselves at home on the blanket. Minus Levi.

"He's somewhere,"Petra said, smiled wide. "Oh," her smile fell. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "Sure." But Zoe had made the mistake of befriending these people.

Petra got the answer out of her, frowned deep. "Why would he do that?"

"Dunno."

"You need to talk to him, Zoe. I've never...it's not his decision."

"No, it's not." She forced a smile. "But, you know. I'm not good decisions. Apparently."

Petra's hand rested on her back, eyebrows knitting together, made her talk. So, maybe, it wasn't too bad that she was...conversing with these people. And Jay seemed happier too, talking to Petra, cracking a little grin that Zoe had never seen on him. The fact that he was happier made her feel better, as she'd lost her partner for wallowing in self-pity.

Nathan pulled her up for another dance, the last one of the evening, and Jay coaxed Petra up. Erd's partner had her head on his chest, long brown hair swaying with her movements. Auruo had a little child dangling from his hands, the boy squeaking as the older man overdid the waltzing pattern, dipped him recklessly enough for a stout woman on the side lines to use his full name, which stopped him. Gunther had insisted he couldn't dance, snapping completely off beat on the side lines, but his grin was wide.

The vendors packed up essentials, and the flocks of people filtered out, plans being made to come back tomorrow. Military Police stood in the checkpoint, flicking through belongings, checking for evidence of proper payment. More MPs made their way to the area, as well as a pack of servants from the nearby castle, mixed with Garrison troops, a hop away from this area on the southside of Wall Sina, the district across from Trost. Trash was picked up, and the MP's moved into guarding posts.

She thought she saw Levi, but didn't ponder on it, didn't want to. Nathan was again stopped by her at the door of her bedroom.

"Oh come on," he sighed. "Fucking, fuck, Zoe. Are you still hung up on that short fucker? Didn't he ditch you? Or, whatever?"

"..Yea."

"There, so, come on. Huh? I'll fuck you better than him. Fix you. Then I'll fuck you." He tugged her bra strap. "All those demons, hmm? Those problems. Perfect, after I'm done with you. Yea?"

She just felt empty. Zoe shrugged, but close the door in his face anyways. She was empty, so, he'd get in far too deep.

* * *

His squad zeroed in on him, and Levi tried to glare them off, but, sadly, glares dissipated when people knew that it wasn't going to bring anything bad. Still, their comments were restrained, and he didn't answer them, because he knew he was in the wrong, he just- What if she was better off without him? With that redhead, or something.

He didn't know, really, but then Erwin brought his judgy face up, the townhouse becoming more packed as four-eyes decided to insert herself into the conversation. Levi's lip curled, and he lashed out at Hanji, insults bouncing back and forth between them, all very petty, and elaborate, more amusing than detrimental. Besides, Hanji was used to this, because they'd always been at odds in one way or the other. Levi allowed the trade off to fall away, staring at his hands, wondering how he'd gotten to be this sociable, though they left soon.

"Look, Captain; I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries here, but," Erd said, stopping under the door frame, "I don't think your decision was correct. You kind of...it was selfish, Captain. So, I guess, I'm saying, you should go after her. Or something. You two- I mean; I chased after my wife, when I thought I'd lost her. But it still took me a bit to make the decision, decide to do that, because I was scared that me being close to her would get her hurt, just- But she knows I love her, that I trust her actions, that she's safe, and therefore; Captain, you have to trust that she'll keep herself safe, make her own decisions. And you know that trust won't always carry everyone through, but it helps. Maybe you over reacted, panicked, something. But, nevermind. It's up to you," Erd gave a messily executed salute, bolting out the door.

Levi squeezed his hands together, too tight, maybe, stared at them. He had panicked, hadn't he? In place of letting Zoe decide it, he'd gone over her head, no doubt increasing the insecurity within her. But he didn't trust himself enough to make her understand his fear, and not tell her cared for her; loved her more than he thought was correct, didn't think there was enough room in this world to really accept that feeling back.

The way she'd looked when he told her. Out in the hallway, dulled eyes, slumped shoulders.

Levi shut his eyes tight, trying to block out the image, a physical ache spreading through him, but she was even better shown in the dark his eyes close. Eyes wide shut; he'd looked at her, hadn't seen the damage till now. Around her, he saw his friend's deaths happen, always in his mind like this; stuck on some sick loop, the scream Farlan had given, Isabel call for help. Big bro. Aptly named his demons, Levi believed, but he didn't run from them, just hoped he'd do something to remove them.

Isabel saying she approved of her, told Levi that they could continue on. Farlan hugging her tight when the recruitment ceremony finished, replacing Levi, as he'd taken to glaring on the sidelines. Soon, Isabel joined in, made Zoe blush, because usually, she didn't really interact with people, especially to this extent, in a non-romantic occasion.

Zoe. And loving Zoe. Building forts from broken materials, maybe, that's what love was.

* * *

_Never was much of a romantic; I could never take the intimacy. And I know I did damage, 'cause the look in your eyes is killing me. I guess you've got another advantage, 'cause you could blame me for everything. And I don't know how Imma manage, if one day you just up and leave. _


	15. Telegraph Ave

(AN: The lyrics, which take hold on a break further down, are modern to an extent, but, Oakland is the name of the song CG rapped over, so, the tied the location in as such. View the 'Oakland', as something of a, I dunno, metaphor? For another location (..?). But yea.)

* * *

_She says she feels alone all the time, I'm similar, I meet her in my dreams on the moon, I visit her; Every night I tell her, "I wanna solve the world, I think I need your help.". She tells me "how you gon' trust somebody when you don't trust yourself?"_

* * *

She was at the checkpoint desk, one of five, that large redhead close next to her, getting very handsy. Levi's hands fisted tight, tried to look away from her, but she smiled, sleep-ringed eyes not mimicking the expression in the terms of emotion. He set his identification in front of her, crossed his arms over his chest, gazed down at her, wished she'd look at him, so he could apologize without making the first move.

Zoe looked up, but didn't...she looked through him, something he'd never experienced with her. As she did this, she stamped his hand, hard enough to make his jaw clench, pain zipping through him. Levi glared at her, but she didn't twitch, just ground the stamp further into his skin. His glare dissolved, just happy she was interacting with him, though...it did hurt a lot at the moment, so. He yanked his hand back.

"oops," she said, and the people behind his line branched away, this new insight on Zoe's mannerisms with stamps traveling back, scuffles over new positions in the other lines.

Nathan relieved her, and the line returned, though Levi did see him kiss her on the cheek. Levi stared at the wall in front of him, tried to do a bit of math concerning this sudden upcrop of kisses. Rushing to commitment; that wasn't Zoe. Yea, he could see the red headed fuck doing that, but Zoe? No. She was too technically, and fairly high maintenance, mostly because she was picky. And that was all. But, her kind of picky, was a level above his, because while he was high maintenance in respects of cleaning, at least that shifted away for a time.

She had to have the specific type of vegetable, specific bread; a hell of a lot of food she didn't consume, essentially. Though, she made up for it because she usually procured her foods, and was very good at picking out the things she didn't like. No complaining, just smooth problem solving, though she was stalled when the cook asked her if his cooking wasn't good. Levi remembered her stammering close to a point of tears, looking mortified, tried to laugh it off, but sometimes her awkward manner was crippling. If she could get over it, find some confidence, and not a thin veil, then she'd just…

Levi stood on the edge of the crowd, though when the tables were brought out, he sat in a chair. Erwin appeared for one hour, sat with him, talked, though Levi was distracted by Zoe, foot shifting to and fro. His Commander gave that small little smile, shook his head as he looked down at the table, and Levi set his elbow on the table, raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're just...odd, when it comes to her, maybe because it really highlights your inability to operate under feelings."

"At least I don't have constipation, Erwin."

"You're talking like that now, Levi, but, for the most part, what goes around does come around."

"And I can operate under feelings," Levi said, eyebrows twisting up, stared at Erwin.

Erwin raised his hand in a gesture that hardly ended the little argument, especially when he continued, "well, yes, to a degree, Levi. I was translating that to situations of this type, and the large amount of time you spend with her. Have spent. I might be painting broad strokes, but, despite that, it's one of the smaller things to do. As you know, I've never been, or should I've say gotten in deep, with anyone to this extent, so, my romantic advice is severely lacking in this area."

Levi attempted a shrug, but didn't muster enough energy to do so, yawning wide, finger starting a beat against his cheek, music much better than yesterday. And he had a clear view of Zoe, though it was increasingly marred by Nathan. He woke himself up, at least, going through his options of winning her back, lingering, mostly for himself, on the idea of make up sex. Took a deeper breath as he let it play out, smirk tugging at his lips, but, he really didn't think that was going to work. Even if it historically had.

He frowned, unable to think of a way to make up that didn't involve sex. Didn't want to say sorry, or, just…. He'd really though he was protecting from her getting hurt in the way he was normally privy to, fuck emotions. Levi's finger stabbed at the table cloth, weighing his solutions, costs of him just walking away, realized he couldn't do that.

The band switched it up, replaced the instrumental with soft taps on a, what he assumed, a cymbal, and a lone man with a string instrument stepped up. He spoke into the microphone, stammered over his words, and apologized, laughing with the people, then invited everyone who was on the outside partake in this. Levi really didn't know who buffeted him enough to get him out of his seat, but he was herded along, shoved into the throng of people. Essentially, he'd finally met his tolerance of social behavior, as well as breaking the cap on the numer people he'd like to be around him during his life time.

They all seemed to kind of...get closer, though the singer was loud enough, as well as his instrument, so why? Was it the bouncy tone of the song? The way it dipped and swayed, maybe; because Levi was not into anyone singing for this duration of time. Though he got to the edge numerous times, someone moved, and jerked him back into the mess of people.

He stood stiffly in the center, glared at the darkening sky, pressed a hand to his temple, waited for the song to end. Levi saw Zoe, then, and he jolted towards her, hand outstretched, stole her away, back to his position. She looked at him, to the hand on her waist, pulled away, even as his heart soared, because he'd found her, wanted to keep her here. In an odd movement, he tipped forward, tried to go back at the same time; an exhibition of his conflict between clipping her wings again, and facing the idea that if he didn't, she'd go somewhere else.

Levi didn't know what to do, how to operate, afraid he'd do something that would catalyze this reaction. Thought about the multiple times he'd stolen her back in one way or the other, hoped she'd stay with him, so he didn't have to do that anymore, though he'd run after her, until she stopped him. He spoke her name, the breath that carried hardly an audible noise, depending on her ability to read his lips. His fingers touched over the necklace covered most times under her collar, the braided leather, heart dropping abruptly, opening his mouth, but the apologies stalled, caught despite their weight.

Love songs; the one the singer was crooning now, stories that hadn't held much place. He never understood why people liked the songs, kept them in their memories, thought it stupid, that more important things deserved to be sung about, remembered. Fancied, when the lights went out, and he was shifted to the side, someone might sing about him. Maybe. If something was of note.

Still; when had his life become a fucking love song?

That shit phrase that he'd heard preached was going around his head, 'if you love something let it go, and it'll come back to you'. Something along those lines. Except, he wasn't good at voluntary sitting on his ass, and letting things come to him. Stole them. Like he had her, only a second back. Couldn't be the last time he saw her, or had her mad at him for breaking her brush, argued with her, lied about her ability to cook. Ups and downs he could handle, but a clean break?

His breath shook from his lungs, reviewing his luck, historically, among letting things go that mattered to him, keeping them out of trouble. Very low success rates. He'd compile a list, put this blunder close top of it, nerves zipping through him as he continued to scroll through his options. Levi didn't want to get rebuffed, but he expected it, putting himself into the mindset that this was it; this was over, whatever this was. Thought back to how surprised people were when they recognized him and Zoe, especially if he was engaging in public displays of affection, or she was smiling up at him, like she was now. Wondered if they'd protest the relationship like Sjeh had, and still was, frankly, though Levi was incredibly good at dodging her.

But minus the smile. Just those big brown eyes, sleep ringed, shying away from him. He wanted her to do something, say something, hit him; kiss him. Erase the last look he had of her, if this was the last time he saw her.

"You can," Levi looked down at his shoes, nerves shuddering up again, but he was going to get this out, "come with us on the expedition. Yea? It's your decision. So, I just; there. Up to you. I need-" he needed her to tell him that he was blocking her light, see her walk through the door; whatever. "I need you back at the outpost by...tomorrow afternoon. I got Erwin to extend us a week more. So; final debreif over that time."

He didn't turn from her. When she walked away, he went after her a few steps, the music ending on a finally quavering note, silence enough for him to whisper a please. But it was her decision. Levi wasn't going to put extra weight on it, but he wanted the day of waiting gone. Day and a half.

With her...he'd gotten another side of it all. Gotten to act out his childhood fantasies of wife and home, the ones he'd thought he'd buried. And the stark contrast of those fantasies, the times where he didn't get that side, went instead with the familiar temperament of sex. But still; a blend enough to make his head spin, to fudge his decisions, not split them apart. Not that he could.

He hadn't even assumed for a happy ending in this life. Wondered if he was going to find that with her. Knew he was. When his career ended, if favorable, he'd...he'd want to live somewhere with her, far away from people in general; wanted her, so fucking badly, his hands shook as he let her walk away. Pictured it now, the house, them, though he'd never thought to explore the idea. Levi managed to conjure up a child's laugh as well, though when the image faded, he saw the source of the noise, and Zoe was gone.

* * *

_I took off my nine to five, but you still don't have the time to kiss me (just hit me). And if I left you all alone, would you still pick up the phone? it's iffy; you miss me. I got furniture to move, and we'll both be thirty soon in Oakland, in Oakland. The only one I know is you, so the fuck I'm supposed to do? In Oakland, in Oakland_

* * *

Jay stepped up next to her, looked at the clock, hands on his hips, squinting against the sunlight. Zoe squeezed her hands shut, hoped he hadn't alerted Nathan, watching the clock tick, nudging the 7. 8 o'clock was the end of the afternoon. And she'd been standing there for at least 30 minutes, knew she was coming off odd to every person who passed.

"Commander, uh; you thinking of moving, or standing here?"

"Did you talk to Nathan?"

"Sent him on a goose chase."

"Literally?"

"Yea, there were geese in the square, and the rich-geese there."

She opened her mouth to say something about how awkward he was, but then realized she'd have said the exact same thing and closed it. Zoe watched the minutes tick by, standing stiff. Her hands flexed slow at her side, and she crossed her arms, though it just left her fidgeting to her feet, rocking slow to and fro, replaying his please last night.

"What are you going to do, Commander?" Jay asked, and she relaxed, happy with his term, wanted erase the ones she'd heard from Nathan.

"What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Jay repeated, a beat carrying before he shrugged. "dunno. Not a lot of people have asked me that."

"Yes, I...understand that sentiment, at least."

"Anyways, if you're going to make the decision, then I don't think you need me to do anything."

Zoe heard his footsteps retreat, turned, called him back. "Jay, you think you can distract Nathan?"

"Yea. Can you tell Petra I said hi?"

"Okay."

"But-I mean; just-less awkwardly then I did, I just kinda; tell her hi. Like, you know; right?"

She understood the choppy sentence better than others could, gave him a nervous wave to match, and darted off to the stables. Her horse looked almost miffed, jostled to and fro without oats or water to be distracted with as Zoe tightened the girth, breaking away to drag her 3D gear out. Zoe pushed some oats in front of the mare, loading the gear on, across from her saddle bag, still less heavier than the movement gear.

The mare attempted to tipped its head away, not looking too happy when the bit was finally stationed in place, an obstacle now in place, interrupting the oat consumption. Zoe didn't waste any time, bouncing twice on her foot, swinging herself up into saddle, urged her horse forward, following the main path, past the apothecary, her nephew peering out the shop window. She twisted, though her hair interrupted her vision, hand up to wave, the small boy responding, even running out to shout her name and a farewell.

Maybe she'd come back before she went out on the expedition, hug him goodbye properly. Just in case; but now, she looked forward, caught sight of another clock tower, though it was less ornate. The gate rose, and she didn't wait another beat, finding her way back to the outpost. DEspite what Levi thought about her directorial abilities, she was fine at finding her way. So there.

Zoe didn't stop to hitch her horse to the post, knew it was stupid to just blithely throw the reigns in a direction, because it wasn't as if she had another mode of travel. She ran into the castle, saw Erd, who instantly redircted her, smiling for some odd reason. It was possible her face was red, and she was breathing harder than normal, sprinting down the hall. This wasn't a work out in the slightest, but she was still running forward.

Erwin was stepping out of a door at the end of it, though Zoe was stopping to shove every door down the long hallway open and didn't give him another glance.

He finally cleared his throat enough to attract her attention, stepping out of the door frame, exposing Levi, who sat in the room, head buried in the crook of his arm, the easy rise and fall of his back signifying that he was asleep. She stopped in the door, breathed deep, looked to Erwin, waving her hand around her face, flustered, sure her hair was out of order.

"He was up all night, cleaning. Terrified the recruits, and Ness, so. Well, less frightening to the latter, but usually, the seasoned men aren't scared by Levi."

"Oh. I just; was I in time?"

"Of course," Erwin shifted further out of the doorway, just held the door open for her as he spoke, "debrief starts tomorrow. I pushed it back."

She nodded, recalled that she was supposed to tell Petra hi from Jay, but Levi was shifting, eyes opening to her. The door shut behind her, and he moved, stumbled, sleep fading fast as he reached her, hands skirting down her frame. Zoe wasn't really used to seeing the exhausted Levi, maybe because he was painted in a larger than life way, but this. This was humanizing, dark rings around his eyes, exhaustion possibly leading to a lack concealed emotions.

"Fuck," he breathed, arms wrapped tight around her waist, pushed his face into the space of her neck, "Zoe, Zoe," over and over, even as he crumpled, caved for the first time, his head pressed to her lower stomach, hand gripping on her hip, the other around her upper thighs, holding on. "I'll give you all I've got, yea? Till there's no more."

She nodded, stunned at the display, though it dissolved, and she let her hand slide into his hair, felt the groan he muffled. His hands flexed, tightened their hold, and Zoe was shifted, almost off balance, accustomed to her being in the position he was. Metaphorically and otherwise, he was the one she commonly leaned on, didn't see how mutual it was, though this action was healthy. Trust, really.

From the first time he caught her waist, got them up the face of the wall, away from danger. Her ability to be a cohesive partner, working in tandem with him; same with him. The sex, too, even, was another piece to this. Maybe. She may just be thinking about it for herself, at the moment, and would leave that to think of later.

Still; trust. She'd never attempted to lord over any group, going with the idea she wasn't cut out to be a leader . Nor did she think she could, as a principle theory in her mother's upbringing was the idea that ladies, such as herself, shouldn't be presenting herself in such a way. The third time Zoe had contested this had been the last, as the smacks that buffeted her head were painful. Another theory was that she should allow men to speak for her, this working with the other idea that she was to be quiet, and, possibly, supplicating herself emotionally to the male in a similar way Levi was.

He managed to flip all of these things on their heads, was one of the first people who saw her for who she was, and didn't shy away from all the nerves, general jittery nature that inhabited her. Levi stayed to help her. And even if his help came with a signature smirk, as he flopped next to her, and elbowed her out of the way, didn't block her light as he usually did. Helped sort her muddled thoughts, the twisted ideas preached to her either straightened or thrown away.

Now she was sure he trusted her decisions, regretted her behavior the past few days, and really, really wanted to punch Nathan, deciding to slap some of the blame for her pitch downwards. Maybe deal a blow to herself as well, to a good extent, though her hands were busy in Levi's hair at the moment. Zoe felt that it was a balance she achieved with him, because it wasn't bad, really, to have someone at the bottom holding the ladder stable if a gust came along, was it? Especially when he imparted a bit of wisdom on how to keep herself steady without him.

* * *

Zoe shifted alongside him, and Levi adjusted his arm to her new position, foot bouncing slow in the air, muffling a yawn in his hand. She glanced at him, focused back on the board, actually writing down notes, which was all very well aligned with her over-achieving, book worm attitude. When he tried to take the paper away, look at her notes, Zoe smacked his hand hard and loud enough to attract Hanji's attention.

Four-eyes shook her head, and focused back on the board, to which Levi now used the large lack of attention on the both of them to cozy up to her. Made sure his tilted position was very suggestive, though his pace was measured, as he hadn't yet ushered back sex into the common day activities. Though he had gotten the kisses back, the lingering looks, her telling him, at the moment, that he was blocking her light.

As the private debriefing was let out, he hung back, pulled her after him, though Zoe grumbled about her notes, that she couldn't see. Levi blinked once or twice, adjusting to the dark faster than she, her hand in his, looking up at the sky again, the full moon hanging there, bright enough now, in the field he brought her to. He looked around, gesturing to the little area he'd set up, lamp light glowing, and watched her, warmth flushing through him as she smiled, shoved him when he smirked, triumphant in the knowledge that he made her happy.

"What's this for?"

"You know.."

"I do, but I kind of want to hear you say it."

"Fine; to say I'm sorry for trying to steer you. What's that called?"

"Sidesaddle driving."

"Sure."

Eren attempted to make a covert b-line for the table, holding the food that was supposed to be there, but Levi coughed rather pointedly, stopped the boy's mad dash to safety. Levi turned, scowling, forming a number of questions in his mind, preparing to give him an interrogation that would rival Hanji's questions about his manifest form. Zoe tugged him back, hiding her smile as she pressed her forehead to his chest.

"It's fine, Levi."

"Yea?"

She nodded, and Levi waved Eren away, hoping he'd be on time for other things when it came down to it. But, Zoe had successfully redirected his attention, pulling her with him, squirreling out of his reach when he attempted to kiss her. A grape was put in his mouth instead, but he still shuffled closer, gazing up at the stars with her. Recalled that book she had, the stories about the stars, thought they brought comfort to the reader. There was a sky full of heroes, was what the book displayed, floating over all of them, sentient, strong.

Though he felt differently, as the host of stars above him seemed cold, aloof. Not heroes, slaying mythical bears, wolves; strong, grand heroes in theory. They didn't stoop to them, for all their strength, never answered questions, and no one else seemed to know the answers. Levi was alone, felt the sentiment all the more strongly as he stared at the dots of light, traveling alongside the rising moon, close, a few of them.

Wondered who'd made the decision to leave them all alone like this.

Zoe wrapped her arms around him, pulled his eyes back down to her, breathing easier. Erased the stranded and lonely stains, though he wondered if she'd continue to hold him close like this when they chose to travel on, as he would, just as tightly. Levi hoped she'd never listen to people who told her not to stay with him, pressed to his side.

He loved her, as well, maybe, she did. Unspoken, yes, but his words were coarse, and she stumbled over some of hers. So it might be better unspoken, a secret guarded between the two of them, trust enough to hold it safe. Zoe was here with him, and Levi knew she cared because of that.

* * *

_Can we just roll with the feeling? Can we just roll for a minute? __Wait a minute; (..) A__nd I'm nervous, truth be told, __I never saw me growing old i__n Oakland, in Oakland. __And if I married you tonight, i__t would probably start a riot in Oakland_


	16. Fluffer

_I'm afraid to say it, don't wan't you to think I'm playing. My mistakes take the pretentiousness down like I'm standing naked. Hear the crowd; and I sorry I know that I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong. If I could I'd go back; I'm exposed give me back my clothes cause I just can't take it-. But look at you, loving a fool, making it easy. (..) You don't mind them flaws, you've already seen them all.  
_

* * *

Auruo slapped the cards on the table, spread them out, "I'm all in."

"The game hasn't started yet," Erd said, reaching to slap his hand down on the cards. "And I spent 5 minutes stacking that deck, and you ruined it in a second."

"Just because you can't find humour, doesn't mean you have to be an ass."

They scuffled over ownership of the cards, until she stepped in, collecting them to her chest, and sitting back beside Levi, sorting the card deck. He watched, lips crooking in amusement at her abilities, and Zoe ignored that, card shuffling speed increasing. If nothing, she'd gotten far better at card handling in the Military Police. Maybe not a choice skill, but, fuck it.

Gunther clapped as she set them down, and Zoe felt her face warm, ducking her head. It wasn't that impressive, was it? She could only do that portion in the large expanse of card games, so it wasn't much to clap about. And frankly, she felt it wasn't really; shuffling cards wasn't something she would list voluntarily next to her other skills. Though, card shuffling was one of her more social abilities, and further down in life, she might list the skill, but for now, she'd keep the knowledge to only a few.

Levi was pulled away from them, walking out after Ness, frowning at whatever his attention was being brought to. Zoe looked over her shoulder, saw him glance back as well, the door closing soon after him. Abruptly, it opened, and Levi stepped in again, pointed at her, lips pressed into a tight line. She stood, walked past, the door shutting behind her, Levi remaining close to her side, arms crossing over his chest as the moved.

"What?" she asked, making to turn, but his hands were abruptly at her hips, keeping her forward, tipping his head just enough to direct her attention to a couple of Central Military Police.

She frowned, catching sight of Nathan and Edmund (who usually went in place of Jay when needed), loitering on the ground, next to their respective horses, quiet. That tidbit of information usually applied only to Jay, who wasn't there, as Nathan was talking to someone if he was in a group, especially near Edmund, didn't matter to him if it was someone he'd just met. Just the thought of being that social made her cringe, attempting to stop, and not get near them, but the men had already caught sight of her.

The larger Central MP snapped her name, doing a similar with his fingers, which was just enough to spoil her mood, tieing with the fact that her stitches hadn't set properly, and were straining at the worst possible times. Levi had caught sight of her flinching, and had veritably cornered her, sat her down, had the regiment medic look at her. She'd heard him muttering from the stool, fingers drumming on the nearby table, glaring at her while the medic listed the reasons why this had happened, as well as how to prevent it from happening.

She jogged quickly down the stairs, ignored Nathan's glare as she came to a halt in front of the man who'd snapped in her direction. Contrary to the man's first insistence at moving this confrontation along, he suddenly decided to talk about the weather, pondering over the lack of rain. Zoe gazed off to the side, not amused with this, and being snapped at in the first place. A little respect, maybe; it's not as if she really asked for it many times.

"You do know not to tell?" The man suddenly shifted to business, clasped a hand too tight on her shoulder.

"Of course not," she said, pain zipping through her.

"Not even Levi?"

Zoe shook her head, "no."

"Good," He squeezed harder, voice dropping to a hardly audible whisper, "because we'd kill him, yes? If you tell him out there, you shouldn't even bother coming back inside the walls. The both of you."

She stared at the ground, nodded her head, unable to do much more. The man swung back up on horse back, though not before giving her a less than kind pat on the back, painful as the grip he'd had on her shoulder. Zoe didn't even know his name, and he was threatening her a ways from Wall Sina, deciding to add Levi to this list. Not that he could kill Levi singularly, as Zoe was very sure that it would take fifty men and a serious handicap on his end to do that kind of damage. Towards her, she wasn't very sure, though she could at least match Levi when it came to hand-to-hand combat, due to her tussles with Jaz, mostly over who was going to do the chores, and other silly things like that.

Levi waited until Nathan's head disappeared over the hilly horizon, before he strode towards her, picking up a jog, grasping her wrist, jerking her back into the foliage. Zoe tripped over a root, but he caught her waist instead, bundling her further back into the forest, finding the closest tree once they were a goodways in pushed her against the trunk. He let his hands flutter down her frame, checking her over, breathing out, huffing in annoyance every time she said she was fine.

"What?"

"Why do you insist on getting me worked up?"

She shook her head, gazing at him, hoping her sarcasm carried, "Oh, are you?"

"Yes."

"It's nothing."

"You look dumb when you lie," he said, an eyebrow ticking up.

"Shut up," she tried, then reached for him, pulled him close, knowing she didn't always make the first move like this, especially when it came to relationships, though she hadn't had any to hold a candle to this. He just; it was very contrary to the popular opinion as she thought over the feeling here. Zoe was comfortable with him, didn't know how, or why, because he was possibly one of the most difficult people to get along with. Just terrible.

"Silly," he mumbled, and she shifted back enough to catch his eyes.

He didn't elaborate, just tugged her back to him, held her there. She felt safer with him like this, at least to an extent, wished that she could tell him what was happening, but she wasn't going to risk him getting hurt. Even though he worried enough for the both of them, and was strong enough for the same purpose, she wasn't going to risk anything.

He collected her a bit closer, hand slipping under her shirt, along her spine with the same general covert nature he usually started with. Levi ducked his head, bent enough to kiss lower, lower, catching her knee before she could move it out of range, hitched it at his waist. She muffled her gasp, the noise mostly brought of surprise, and a rush of something akin to happiness.

Someone shouted for him, and he twitched for only an instant, casting a look behind him, before he turned back to her, stepping forward enough to push her harder against the tree. Zoe wound her arm over the back of his neck, other used mostly to steady her as his pushes became shoves, caresses more insistent, kissing her to leave bruises that tingled just like soft kisses. His hands dropped to her ass, shifted her to him again, changing his mind as well as the direction of his hands, went back to her belt to press under her pants.

His name was called again, but he didn't turn, his nails digging tight into her skin as she attempted to answer the person, said, "Swear if you call them over, Zoe," he looked to her, though he pressed his forehead to her collarbone, focusing down, "I'll do something."

"Yea? Finally going to try and order me around?"

He gave a tiny scoff, "Maybe."

"I thought I was a higher rank. So shouldn't I do that?"

"No."

"No?" she knew she was almost cooing to him, watching his hair unfold, slip through her fingers. "Are you sure?"

Another shout for Levi, Auruo's heavy footsteps following, and Levi sighed, sagged slowly in front of her, arm sliding under her knee. She started to laugh, waved to Auruo, but then Levi lifted her, as he'd done the day she'd came back to him. Zoe managed a squeak of indignation, grasping at his back, especially as he tugged her shirt out of her belt, and she swore she heard him smirk. Of course, that was ridiculous, but still.

What an asshole.

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

_You keep on forgiving, rewrote all my wrongs in pencil. When you stay it makes me forget that I'm down, now it's all so simple. Till the end, even when, I look dumb like I do when I lie. Feels so good letting go I'm exposed, you can have my clothes cause I'm not afraid. But look at you loving a fool, making it easy. I guess it's cool naked with you already seen me.__  
_

* * *

He ducked his head, watched her shift awake, pushed this event further by tipping his head, hair brushing along her skin. Felt her muscles shift under his lips, hands, the tiny mumble of his name, made him smile, happy he could have her like this again. Would say sorry as many fucking times as she wanted, his hands squeezing tight at her hips as he thought about it, listened to the sleepy moan she gave, legs shifting around him, sheets at his waist.

"I want you," she began, little yawn breaking her off and he nipped at her skin, didn't want anything to interrupt him.

"What do you want?"

"First, I wouldn't mind to give you orders."

He groaned, forehead going to her skin, rocking forward slightly, said, "are you still on that?"

Didn't really want her to, because he'd do anything she asked. He'd never bent to orders well, respected the hierarchy to an extent, but Zoe; to hell and back if she wanted. Would make a good start on eradicating Titans if her order granted further physical prowess. Levi didn't want to show how disgustingly malleable he was to her words, convince her in more terms that he loved her.

"I just want-"

Levi cut across her, "Fine." looked up to her, saw that she was very much awake now, hand propping her head up.

"What?"

"Tell me what to do."

"Never thought I'd hear that."

He shook his head, but kept his place, saw her lips crook up, a little smirk resting there, pretty pink lips tilted up, the indent similar to a bow. Levi moved where she told him, didn't think she'd go any farther, till she caught sight of the cuffs he'd been cleaning last night. Though Levi made an attempt to argue, very proud of the way they shined, because it did enforce Eren's direction, as well as piss off the girl who was something of a shadow to him.

And her, set above him like this, unable to get his hands on her. That she moved where she wanted, though he could've wrapped his legs around her, gotten out of the cuffs with a bit of pain, pin her down. But no. He liked this, her soft hair brushing over his skin when she moved back up; he thought it was very nice. Except when she decided that she'd tease him.

She'd attempted that a few times, one time in the beginning, still in training. Levi had shown her then that he wasn't afraid in the slightest to risk the semi-public idea, though he was sure that no one was venturing near the area he dragged her aside in. The next, in some meeting, and he just-she didn't tease him much anymore, just a little resistance here and there, then she'd melt, and he lived for that.

He reached for her, but she pulled back, let him strain, face the reality that she wasn't melting anytime soon. And then someone knocked on their bedroom door, some recruit, maybe, sent to interrupt them in place of a squad leader. Intelligent move, due to the fact that Levi hadn't been this pissed off in a few days, mostly because he was distracted with Zoe. He'd heard Hanji say something snippy about it, but he could deal with four-eyes later.

"Are you fucking serious?" he barked, jostling her on the bed, listened to her laugh. "What time is it?"

"Sir-" the voice said, but a crack split it off, allowed him to shout instead.

"What time?"

"...7:30."

"And what time did I prominently post on the number of doors leading to this area that would give to an interruption of any sorts?"

"8:30."

"So, it's somewhat confusing as to who has a death wish alongside the hour I seem to be lacking."

"Hanji."

Levi's face screwed up, growling the common misnomer associated with that name, and he jolted, cuffs following him, along with a piece of the wooden headboard. Zoe watched him dismantle himself, and Levi muttered to himself, allowed the metal instruments to clatter to the floor. She scoffed, glared in his direction, sitting back on her heels, sheets twisted around her instead, still naked. He leaned back in when he was dressed, tried to coax the frown away.

She patted his face away, but he wound his arm quick around her waist, dipped as his kisses did. "Stay here," he mumbled, stopped her as she attempted to move from the bed, "yea? Naked, gorgeous." Levi moved to the door, looked at her for confirmation.

"I hate you," she huffed, pouted from her position, and he walked back from the door.

Levi rested a knee briefly on the bed, kissed her hard enough to distract himself. Started to play with the idea that Zoe was sneakier than he gave her credit for, but then. No.

"You don't," he said.

A short sigh, then, "No. But I swear you're the worst. The handcuffs are supposed to work, Levi."

"Opps."

"Don't oops me; you owe me."

"Actually, Zoe, I'm fairly sure you owe me something." He stopped at the door again.

"Really? What?"

"I mean, how many times did you ease off?"

"ease off? Oh, oh; I forgot, you don't like being told no. That you can't cum until I tell you. Things generally around that area."

"And losing."

"Didn't know there was a competition."

"You're usually in second place."

"My nephew finds that second is the best."

"They're the first loser."

"Hush."

He moved from the door again, wondered if he was going to make it out, because she looked so fucking gorgeous; just wanted to promise her the world. Considered...the expedition in two days, decided that he'd make four-eyes wait a bit. Just a little.

* * *

Zoe waited in the atrium, shifted slow in the light streaming from the windows, looked down at her hands as they twisted together, began to bounced on her toes. Fidgeted. Walked by books and paintings, stopped at one, turned to him briefly, held it up with a tight smile.

Levi walked forward, stood by her side, looked at the people standing, sketched almost, a few colors used to brighten it up, but simplicity held. It was nice, he supposed. Not bad. Especially complimentary as he caught sight of Zoe, the mess of curls very similar to her brother's, though she managed to look more unruly, despite the line up among them. He flicked a more obvious mess up away, turned the frame to the back, saw the date; 836. She must've been 11, maybe 12 here, so this, this was something to hold onto. Wondered who'd saved it.

"My parents," she broke off, tapped her finger on the picture, tried again, "my parents are buried around that land. Behind Wall Maria. Somewhere on the outskirts. I wonder; maybe my brother made it out there. At least to the farm, you know." Zoe chest rose and fell faster. "Maybe he didn't feel that overwhelming fear that some of us do. Didn't have to watch anything bad happen to Mya, his friends. Chose another way. Maybe." tap, tap on the photo. "Maybe, no."

He set it down, choosing to wrap his arms around her midriff, squeeze her to him for an instant. She needed this kind of comfort, he knew this from experience; she wasn't like him, to the point of not desiring contact. With family, and her up bringing, she was more emphatic. Mostly, he believed she wanted the contact to serve as a base, build up her strength and resolve close to it.

So Levi didn't pause to ponder anything darker, morbid, frightening; held her without thinking for one of the first times. She was the spark for all he'd done the past month, years, and he refused to entertain the idea that this trip might snuff it out. He led himself to think farther ahead, the few seconds he held her stretching out, contemplating their relationship developing. Wanted to know what she thought, but he'd never ask her.

She turned to him once he let go, tipped up after a lull and kissed him. Her lips tasted similar to the sweets Isabel used to steal; broke his heart, no matter how much he'd managed to fortify it over time. Made his breath ragged as she pulled away, framed by light, reminding him of the painting hanging over the hearth in a house long forgotten, depicted some heavenly being, and he'd seen someone pray to things similarly shaped. Levi might bend to Erwin's accusation that he was something of a romantic as he gazed down at her, thought to tell her she was the only shape he'd pray to. Sparks, and light, he supposed.

"Aunt Zoe!" a child squeaked, bounding out of a cellar, apron almost tripping him up, but Zoe dipped fast, swung him into the air, no matter the fact that the 8 year old was almost as tall as her. "Why are you here?" the boy looked to him, eyes widening, peering over Zoe's shoulder. "Is he in the Scout Regiment?" he looked to Zoe, "Is that-That's so cool, you are in the Scout Regiment aren't you?" The child reached, swung to do something, waved instead of grabbing onto him. "You get to go out into Titan country, right? Maria now; I was four, I think when it went down. Wasn't I, Z-Z?"

Levi was somewhat amused by the nickname, as well as the quick shift from subject to subject by the chatty boy. He knew his name as well, just due to the fact that Zoe grumbled about the lack of originality in naming him after her brother. She didn't seem to mind anymore, hugging the boy into silence, smattering kisses, and pinching his cheeks.

Jaz squirreled out of reach, tugging his apron off, folding it quickly, said, "I have to show you something, I'll be right back!" He patted at his cheeks as he ran up the stairs, the old apothecary official walking down, giving them a brief hello and waving Zoe's offer of money away.

"He's like a son now, Commander Roth. And business is picking up, now that you made Sjeh promise to visit us as a primary medicine outlet. Though, if he continues to go through aprons like that, there might be an issue." She nodded, shook his hand before letting him down into the cellar, the door closing after, "_ANOTHER_ EXPLOSION?! How many things does he have to blow up, I know I threw that away; I'm going to have a heart attack, never mind the fumes."

Zoe shook her head, laughed into her hand, as Levi inspected the folding job done on the apron, "I suppose the inability to fold runs in the family."

"Hush," she said, nudging him as Jaz sprang out of the stairwell, resembling a flying squirrel for a brief moment, and Levi caught the both of them.

Somehow, he got stuck with holding her Nephew's items, displaying them as he was instructed to turn them. He only got this level of bossy from Erwin, and then at points Zoe; but the real offender still was Erwin. And this kid.

When Jaz got his name from Zoe, he did one of Hanji's circles before he gazed up at him in something akin to wonder, tugging Zoe's hands to bring her closer. "Why is he with you, Z-Z?"

"I came to tell you I was going out on an expedition soon. Almost tomorrow. And since he's in the Scout Regiment, he came with me."

"Are you two together? Like my mom and dad? And Mr. Joss says that when the regiment comes to the capital, Mr. Levi goes to you."

Mr. Levi. No, he wasn't into that. Not that many people knew his last name, but.

"Does he now?" Zoe glared towards the cellar. "He's something of a gossip, isn't he?"

"And Ms. Sjeh complains about him as well," Jaz beamed around, happy to be a fountain of information, "says stuff like, your Aunt is silly for going with him, sleeping with him. I didn't know you could share a bed; is it fun?"

Levi shook his head, frown threatening to waver, highly amused with this innocent view, knew Sjeh hand said something more adult, and gotten questioned. Thus, he assumed Jaz had gotten misinformed, which was somewhat sad, but still. Funny. Especially to hope that Sjeh had to make up a excuse, admit she was wrong.

"Sure," Zoe said, elbowed Levi as he started to smirk.

"So cool that you get to hang around my Aunt, isn't it? She's nice."

Levi shrugged, and got another elbow in the side for that, decided to be nice, stuck out a hand, "Hey, I'm...with your aunt. Levi. Sometimes people call me Rivalle. Dunno why. Maybe lost in translation."

Jaz shook his hand, looking positively overjoyed, "So I can tell people I know you? Ah man, I bet no one will mess with me now. That'll show them."

"Who messes with you?" Zoe was down on his level in an instant, crouching to grab her nephew. "Who?" She didn't let him answer, snatched him up, "Where?"

Jaz attempted to wriggle out of her hold, bending crazily in her arms. Levi got back up on horseback, and followed them at a good distance, tugging her horse along after his. She finally got the information out of Jaz, mostly because the boys started laughing at him, the two tucked away in the next alley.

Levi still moved slow after them, appearing behind them, very annoyed with Zoe's insistence on dragging this time out. Also, she wasn't very threatening, so; limited effect on the boys there. When he moved behind her, blocking the alley, the starting argument fizzled quickly, the young children just gazing at him.

"Zoe, come on," he dipped, grabbed her nephew as he said it, swung him up next to her.

"Is that-" one of the larger children said, gaping like an idiot.

Jaz reaffirmed suspicions, and switched gears from scared, to proud.

In the end, Zoe was happy. And so was her Nephew. Essentially, he was in her good graces, despite the expedition weight.

* * *

__Cause nothing moves in the warm air, And words that once would cut like a knife, They just hang in the cloud and you're, pushed by the lord, but you're pulled by the crowds and, you're overboard, you're overboard. Oh my God, she's overboard. My love she's overboard__


	17. Trapeze Swinger

_Who would have thought this, we almost lost it. When you lie inside darkness it's hard to see... And we sleep in tradition. Keep them off in the distance. To tell you that I haven't been(...) We are all; Night's fallen. Why try at all? Dark callin'... So we're left alone. No one left to call upon; be still now, broken bones. As I travel on just hold me close my darling_

* * *

He walked to her, footsteps slow, the deluge outside hardly granting him a better mood. She glanced from her position at the table, smiled, the lamp light in front of her just enough to span the entirety of the stables. Levi picked up his pace, elbowed her over on the bench, tipped in close enough, making sure she was situated awkwardly against the corner, squished her there when she wiggled, waited for a kiss, hummed when he got one. Shifting his hand, he let it smooth down her side, always happy with her casual clothes, as they were much, much easier to get his hand under.

She pushed him back, and briefly confused him as to what she was doing, eventually just spreading his arms out to let her tuck herself into a favorable position. When she found it, Zoe settled in, and he swore she purred, propping up her book again, settling her apple to a proper location. If he tried anything, she glared, giving him the 'one more chapter' finger, which usually only popped at night before bed. He tucked her closer, let the steady breathing lull him, just as well as her heartbeat, fell asleep for a beat. Eventually, she moved, and he opened his eyes, tracking her across the barn, wondering why she was hauling her grooming material towards him.

Zoe caught his look, gave him a tiny smile as she said, "I have to brush her out."

"Her?"

"My horse."

"What you didn't name her?"

"What?" she looked up, tipped her head to the side. "Name her?"

"Yes, Zoe. Like, Ness with Chatel."

"Well, I mean." She hesitated, tucked her hair over her ear. "My dad wasn't into naming animals. I mean, maybe one or two of the young breeding cows, but he never encouraged us to name things, told us that they'd be slaughtered soon, and made us watch if he did."

Levi's eyebrows twisted up, giving her some form of what Farlan had sparingly called a bitchy look. She dropped his gaze, nudged the pretty gray horse awake, eased the mare over in the stall, and dipped, patting at a leg, catching it when finally getting the hoof up. Zoe tapped once at the hunk of dirt, dislodging to provide easier access to the piece of metal in her hand, popping the mess from horseshoe and surrounding area.

She did this to every hoof, the mare standing patiently, as if she knew Zoe would bring around oats; which she did presently. Her horse made a noise that rumbled through its body, stepping up happily, remaining unmoving, mouth shoved into the oats. Levi moved into the stall, got an ear twitch and a suspicious side glare from Zoe's horse, and the mare went as far as moving its bum away from him, the rest of the body following soon.

Zoe peered over at him, then shifted her way around her horse, standing next to him, handing him a brush as she said, "if you're going to annoy her, you may as well brush her."

"How about you name her?" Levi asked, taking the front half of her horse as soon as Zoe had brushed out the mane, moving to the tail.

"I'm not sure," she said, shrugged, circular brush movements practiced. "I don't want to get attached to her. She might get trampled. Even if the Titans ignore her, you know it happens."

"It's not bad to care for things, Zoe."

"Says Levi, humanity's greatest soldier, who hardly has any facial expressions besides the default of zero, and seems to have no sentiments for anyone."

"You know that's not true."

"Well, I do try to stick to a larger amount of detachment," Zoe looked to him, words halting as she continued, "but, I-I do believe that, to a good extent, you've turned that around. I mean, your people, Levi. Squad. Ironically, Squad Levi. And you."

"Yea?" He leaned in, quick enough to get a kiss before he said, "it is funny that I've made you more social."

"Isn't it."

"Now, a name."

"For who?"

"The horse, Zoe."

"Oh, sorry, thought you meant something of a nickname."

He shook his head, watched her switch brushes, finish this side of her horse, and patted the mare on the rump to get a shift, easing to the other side. Levi did to, though he received a less than happy look as he prolonged the horse's distance from her food.

"So what is it?"

She shrugged, hand bare as she pet her horse, the mare giving a low nicker, tail flicking. "I'm not sure, but; Lonny." she looked at him, bit her bottom lip, "I think; that's a cute name, right?"

"There's no need for it to be cute, Zoe."

"Well it is. And I think it sounds good."

He nodded, let his hand brush briefly against hers. Quiet fell between the three of them, though he wasn't sure if Lonny would've done anything, as the horse had her muzzle buried, only heavy huffs breaking the air. Zoe brought a horse blanket, and he moved to help her without a word, belting the straps where they went on any standard blanket. Though, as his hand brushed over the cover, he did acknowledge the fact that it was ridiculously soft.

"That horse has a better blanket than me," he muttered, and she laughed, elbowing him out of the stall, drawing the rope across.

He collected the lantern, opened the door to the now dark stables, let her out. Levi caught sight of his squad, standing around, sharing an almost ceremonial silence. No one knew what was going to happen tomorrow. It always managed to vary. Always hurt.

* * *

_Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees. _

* * *

Levi shifted, beckoning her to him, listening to the brief sounds of fighting behind the wall. Zoe left her horse, heralding some of the surprised looks on the villagers faces, mirrored by the Scout Regiment Troops, everyone milling about, but her path to him was at least clear. Surprise due to the fact that a Military Police was moving near a gate, and with some purpose besides drinking, or taking advantage of some town person. But hey.

Levi gazed at her, chin tipped down slightly, eyes jumping from place to place on her face. He swung something over her shoulders, and Zoe twitched, knowing what it was, opening her mouth to protest, but he spoke before her, "You're so short, Commander Roth."

She blinked, raising her eyebrows, let him fasten the cape. "Really, Captain Levi? You're going to try that?"

"Don't be useless. Don't try and be a hero, anything that you seem to desire to do when in danger."

"Well, all I hear is you trying to hold me down, and I'm also fairly sure that I still outrank you."

He gave a choked off noise, glaring away from her. "Are you going to bring that up again?"

"I might, and quite frankly, I have to get back to my horse, I do thank you for the honorary cape."

"And in the Scout Regiment, Zoe, you're my subordinate."

"Am I, now?"

"Yes."

Levi's emotionless face shifted for a second and he ducked his head, cupping her face in both of his hands, hers going to his elbows. Kissing her with surprising force, barely moving his lips, just keeping her there, body close to his. Then he pulled away, pointing her back in the direction of her horse. She gave an annoyed scoff, smile tugging at her lips, almost sashaying her way back to her horse.

A troop was staring at her, then to Levi, then back to her again, keeping up this rhythm until shouts rang out. Zoe knew what the cape had really provided; anonymity. She looked like another troop member, small enough at the moment to match sizes with Eren, and if what Erwin thought was true, that there were other Titan's like him, say, the ones that had caused Wall Maria's collapse. Then they would give chase.

Erwin's voice rang out as the gate stopped, exceedingly close to her, with her place next to Hanji, the woman unsmiling. His horse sprang forward with his words, and she dug her heels into her own mare's flanks, the horse's hooves making the ground shake.

They passed through a village, dilapidated with all that had transpired, the path they rode along free of debris. Zoe glanced up saw a 10 meter trundling towards them, heard Hanji's excited voice, wondering what was inside of him. She almost rolled her eyes, the support squad already moving to meet it, and she focused back on the road ahead.

Erwin sent the scouts ahead with a shout, and Zoe shifted herself in her saddle, catching a red flare going up. Considered posting, the saddle under her considerable nicer, and generally better, though if she did, Levi may sense she was doing something pretentious and roll his eyes. He was good at that, she knew. Fucker.

The Commander watched the relay, then sent up his green flare, and they shifted course slightly. She caught sight of a black flare, and clenched her teeth, breathing out, then in, steeling her nerves. After seven or so years, she still felt that fear, but, with recent activity, she'd been able to find a way to ignore it. Pixis had mocked it in Trost District, alluding it to Levi's ability to always host something like that, but she got the job done without any nerves.

Quite frankly, she'd found the cold and detached place because of her need to speak at meetings with the head of the Merchant Association and those infuriating chauvinists. The walls were gods, her ass. Still, their membership had grown since the break in Wall Maria, and being cold and detached was a great way to deal with those people. She did hold to the idea that her arguments had helped them progress to the mounting of cannons on the wall, but she really doubted that.

Erwin glanced back at her, nodded once, and she turned slightly, jamming her flare gun with a green canister. She raised her arm, and pulled the trigger, setting the trigger piece back in place, Erwin left to converse with the rider who'd come up, shifting their direction in an instant, easing them towards the Forest of Giant Trees. There'd been a few training exercises there, and she knew it's tactical advantage, even if she barely heard what the man was shouting, hooves drowning out most of his words.

She did hear the folly that the right flank had under gone and her stomach clenched, the man to Erwin's other side breaking off to tell others. The other male shifted himself into formation, slowing down just a tad as the other man raced away, pelting over the ground. He looked a bit shell shocked, and Zoe concentrated on the stretch ahead of her, wondering where Levi was.

She stuck with Erwin as they progressed through the trees, orders to only let certain troops through relayed back. Zoe tossed her hair from her face, speeding up as Erwin did, cruising into land, surprisingly greeted by Hanji, and a couple elite troops. The transport carts were slowed a ways away, and shifted properly to the side, along with the loads. Everything was moving quickly then, and she helped, even though Hanji was below her rank, and Zoe didn't need much direction. The whole thing was whipped together in an instant, everyone's moves precise, practiced.

A black flare punched into the air, and she stuck her handles to blades, preparing to go back herself, but Erwin shook his head, thuds audible from here. The rear troops would handle it, she supposed, if they could. Zoe gazed down at the ground, as the troops made sure everything was in place, swallowing thickly, thinking about the lives lost, wanting desperately to do something. An acoustic round fired, and she moved, resolved to do something.

"Erwin, I'm going to buy time."

He gazed at her, then nodded, "if you must." She knew he wouldn't stop her.

There was a great plus side to being small, she recalled, a silver wire roping up to a high branch, dragging her up as she sprang, coming to rest on a branch. She let her fingers drum down on the handles, gripped tighter before jumping, and jetting forward, graceful movements making her smile, moving speedily from tree to tree. Remembered the time when her brother had found out about her desire to join the troops, he'd argued for her case with her mother and father, and Zoe was somewhat sure she was the reason for their heart attacks, but never mind. Her brother was the only one on her side back then, fraternal twins with striking differences.

And here she was now. Moves maybe a bit too polished for someone who was mocked by the other divisions in the military for playing cards more than necessary. The card joke implied that she stayed inside, but that wasn't correct at all. She was caught up in whatever the central government and Central Military Police were doing. At least she was in her element here, trees much more familiar, rather than the terrain she'd been stuck with during the Trost district debacle.

She twisted, jolting her way out of the protection of foliage, resting lightly on a high up branch, breathing slow. The female abruptly sped up and she dove, flashing in front of it once, breaking it's stride just for an instant. It moved, hand slapping back as if to brush off a fly, and she changed direction, drawing it's eyes for another instant. They narrowed, and the female put her weight to the side, attempting to squash her against a tree, but Zoe shifted again, feet landing once against the ground, whirling up, blade criss-crossing along her back, and the female covered her soft spot.

Her blades shattered against a frost like covering, but she pulled new ones out in an instant, crossing next over the variant's stomach, and it stumbled as she managed something of a cut in a tendon, zipping back up, rising up above the trees. Saw the blood on the leaves, the forest floor. The horse's body was intact, compared to the humans, and Zoe took a beat to really scrutinize the forest floor.

Monster.

Zoe clenched her teeth, and dove down, shifting to the side as the female attempted to kick up, but the shift was enough for her to miff her attack on the female's achilles tendon. Distracted with this loss, she didn't pay enough attention to the enemy. The variant's eyes narrowed, tipped enough to better attack her. Zoe felt like a moth; in the sense that the Titan had been scared by such a weak insect, rather than a bee of some sort, and was now going to kill her, if only to correct the ideal of being scared by a moth of all things.

A hand raised, poised, and flicked her away. Again, the female bore down, and Zoe was spun back, world moving too fast for her to tether herself. If she fell at this speed, she was going to die.

Taking a chance, she pressed the trigger a thin silver line wrapping around her leg before it shot down. Her leg was jerked, and she yelped, the wire saving her, dangling from a high up branch, swinging there, annoyed with her loss, knew she could've done damage if she'd focused. Ignoring the pain in her leg, Zoe twisted and hacked the wire off, cushioning her landing with a liberal use of the air in her tank.

Her leg gave as she attempted to stand, but Zoe hauled herself to her feet, and walked the remaining ways, embracing the sight of the female titan, strung with wires. She sighed, replacing her 3D movement gear, heralding the bloom of blood where her bandages were, sighing again softly, getting herself up the the branch where Levi and Erwin resided. Just; the number of times she was sighing was ridiculous.

Levi's eyes dragged over her, and he looked away, scowl deepening. Zoe rested against the tree, running a hand through her hair, incredibly tired, the muscles in the leg that had been caught screaming out when she moved it.

"I hope she's not wetting herself in fear," Levi murmured, voice lacking emotion, almost monotone.

"We are suggesting that this variant is human, similar to Eren? And in that assumption, how could a human...kill like that?" Zoe managed to keep her voice from cracking as trembles cut through it, and her.

"One who's working for a third party, I believe," Erwin murmured, eyes cutting to her, separated by Levi's body.

Levi had his eyes on the Titan, and Zoe stood straighter, blades out to either side of her, knowing she'd pulled something in her leg, but she could get through it. She sucked her teeth briefly, turning to looked down at the soldiers on the ground. What she'd meant was, how could a human kill like that, with so much...blaise, thinking how much she person inside the titan had to despise them, or was it for some other force? So maybe the third party was a better excuse, but she couldn't imagine using that power outside of assisting their defeat of Titans.

Erwin paused Levi as the man prepared to move, murmuring, "We can't be too careful," Erwin raised a hand, shouted, "Fire the second wave! Back ups as well."

Levi's brow darkened, hand clenching tight around her blades. Lines were being blurred here, and at the moment, she wasn't entirely sure who the enemy was, but she had inklings. Right now, she was going to focus on a definite, ignoring the pain radiating from both of her legs, knowing how Sjeh would have a million things to say.

They'd given up a large amount of people, and she'd seen the blood on the leaves, knew how precious lives were. She'd put her own in danger to achieve a few more seconds. And this monster here; maybe, for a tiny part, Zoe thought to admire the person briefly for their ability to put aside humanity. But Zoe could do that as well, just with a little less bravado. As well as damage lacking.

Levi and Mike sprung after Hanji loosed her last round, and Zoe expected to see a break, but the two men were sent back, blades broken, a crystal sheen over the monster's hands, crumbling away. Mike set himself back in place on a branch away from them, Levi landing close as well. Zoe almost growled, looking to Erwin for direction, knowing his strategic ingenuity stretched above her own, and his continual practice afforded some more skill.

Erwin raised a hand, and a soldier zipped to his side.

"Sir?"

"Prepare the explosive," Erwin commanded. "blow its hands off."

"Yes Sir," the man responded, nervous, "but, the force of the standard issue explosive could blow up what's inside."

"then set it so it severs the wrist," Erwin said, stepping close to rest his free hand on his soldier's shoulder. "On my signal, set them off all at once."

The soldier muttered an affirmative, making his way back down to relay orders. Levi was resting on top of the Female Titan's blonde head, and Zoe shifted, watching his lips move, eyes hooded, looking extremely threatening, despite his being absolutely dwarfed. He shifted slightly, that sadistic glint she'd seen a couple times flashing in his eyes.

A shift occurred, and the female Titan seemed to draw in a breath. The scream that ripped from her lips made Zoe step back, gazing down, eyes wide, wondering just what Levi had said to inspire this, clapping her hands over her ears. Shudders racked her frame, maybe nerves, or the power of the scream. Broken and panicked.

The noise was similar to a couple of animals on her brother's old farm, mostly the sheep, if a rare wolf bothered them; attacked, to be specific. As well as the dogs who intervened, alerted her family to the danger. Her father would stomp out of the screen door, loaded the double-barrel gun, and took aim; always hit the offender dead on, and though sometimes it wasn't an instant kill, her father carried through.

Walked to the injured animal, pointed the barrel straight down, stepped on the beast to keep it still. Her mother did attempt to hide Zoe's eyes, but she'd still seen the calm reloading her father partook in, heard the wild snarl that bordered on a scream before the loud gun went off. Zoe's heart jumped, and she shivered, the silence echoing, same as it was when the resounding noise of her father's gun receded.

Levi dropped his hands from his ears, as Mike zipped up to their location, telling Erwin what he smelled. She wasn't entirely sure what that was about, but there was a reason these members of the Scout Regiment had survived as long as they had. Their skills were a bit out of box, or in Levi's case, ability to mow down Titans like the Grim Reaper.

"All directions!" Mike was saying, "All at once!"

Zoe stabbed her blades back into place, using a new set, action more from nerves, hardly listening, battened down the hatches. Metaphorically; considering her feelings, as the noise had rattled her, same as most people, though Levi was the only one who still kept his face level.

Mike was talking next to her, words threatening to blur together by the end of it, and Erwin was already moving turning to look at the female Titan, trying to speed up the explosive time. "The first wave is coming from the East," Mike said, and Erwin pointed away from them, three of his troops lifting into the air, moved to intercept them.

The Titans blazed past, something she'd never seen happen, besides the variants; and still, it wasn't common for a variant to blaze past 3 people like that, nor had she seen that many variants alongside each other. Maybe the wagon guard hadn't done as Erwin had commanded; but they'd been in the air, offered themselves on something of a plate. Then thought to another fact. Maybe- was- did the Titans ignore the men?

Zoe made the connection, guessing, though it was very hesitant, what ever the female Titan had done was pulling the others to her. To sacrifice herself? But then- She shook her head, looked to Levi stamping on the female's head before he turned to the three titans.

No. Couldn't be. That'd be ridiculous. But right now, it seemed to be the best option. She moved as a small Titan latched onto the female's ankle, using her right leg more than the recently injured one, ignored the strain put on her stitches.

She spun down, the hunk of flesh falling off with the small Titan. More came, and she bounced from Titan to Titan, her attacks precise. Her time outside the wall, while dangerous, was certainly giving to a large positive spike in her skill. But there were too many. Even with 20 men in the air, and her, Mike and Levi counting for another brigade or 4(Zoe was willing to give herself some credit; first in class, so, yes, she could hold a candle to Levi and Mike, especially with actual combat under her belt, though that knowledge was hardly public), they fell short. She'd never seen so many in one location, and one batted her away, sending her hard back against a tree, but she was on the next one as soon as her head stopped spinning.

Still, their numbers increased, and in the end, the troops stood back, all their efforts in vain. Zoe's leg gave, and she fell to a knee, feeling titan blood sizzle from her skin, replacing her dulled blades, drawing new ones, wondering if she should step forward, but the damage was already done. She let her other leg give, falling forward, using a proffered hand when she attempted to rise.

Someone else was hanging off the man, a bit trampled obviously, the Titan's efforts towards the female variant not sparing a few soldiers unlucky enough to get knocked to the ground. Everyone moved onto the path, coalescing slow around wagons. Zoe raised herself up on horseback, the pretty gray Appaloosa emulant horse a variant among the others, unable to move her leg.

She didn't show her panic, moving with Hanji's orders as the woman took over, Mike at her side, a silent helper. Hanji was one of the limited Squad leaders left, and Zoe wondered where Levi was, and in that respect, Eren. Erwin walked out of the forest, jaw clenching as he glanced over the bodies, men still bringing the salvageable ones out of the forest, walking back onto the main path with his calm facade back in place. The soldiers left took some strength from the Commander's present tranquility, and the execution of movements became much more clear cut.

Zoe's vision swam, and she almost dropped, Erwin moving, catching the reigns of her horse, snapping his fingers before directing her back, walking despite her leg. Someone who'd had more than basic med training was slapping bandages on wounds, and when they turned to her, their face lost color, fussy behavior reminding her of Sjeh.

"Why did you continue to fight on this?" the man grumbled, ripping her uniform. "This is ridiculous. Look at this!"

Zoe looked, then turned her head away, the stitches ripped out in some places. She shifted her left leg gingerly, allowed the man to bind her wounds quickly, just temporarily to last her back, her horse brought back around. When the formation was called up, she moved to her place beside Erwin.

She listened to the discussion between Hanji and him, heart sinking fast, wondering if she was ready to lose everything, put all her cards in the proposed lot presented by the Scout REgiment. She never had the kind of drive the men and women here had; to the phrase, wings of freedom, it was a nice thought, but, to an extent, she felt the phrase more flowery and ornamental. She compared it to her own reality, the harsh words given and received, how the man had screamed when she tore out a nail, as well as how her heart didn't even jolt, so far from the beginning. Though she didn't know the man's name, when she'd been told to track him down, and arrest him for treason, she didn't hesitate, nor did she employ softer tactics in any range.

A roar echoed, and she twitched, rooting herself to the moment by fisting her hands around the leather reigns. Wished she'd done more, wanted to turn and find the female, do damage that the Titans hadn't, knew that was how everyone felt; if the human inside the variant had survived the onslaught. Zoe could empathize with a number of people, even if she'd only been close to a few of them, and she tipped back for a moment, scanned for Squad Levi. And yet, she understood the loss, knew the feeling in more personal tones, but she...disregarded it, blinking as her world clarified. One day, she'd stop and cry for all of them, but for now, she had a duty, a Command, and in that case, she'd support Erwin. She'd care for them in that respect. What she gave up might be everything, but that didn't mean she had to ignore their importance.

"Erwin," she said, voice just loud enough to reach him.

"Yes?" He turned as best he could.

"Your failure is evident," she murmured, saw his eyebrow jump. "but the value of information gathered with this appearance; it's evident. And I will back you in anyway needed. And when I say failure, I mean the amount of tangible evidence. The amount gathered here in other terms; its use is viable. So, I suppose, I'll continue to support you."

"And not only because you're sleeping with the Captain, correct?" Hanji said, and Zoe glared. "Oh, you are scary, I never noticed."

Zoe looked away, thinking that she should've just been quiet, even though she was sure she'd chosen her words correctly.

"Zoe," Erwin reclaimed her attention, and she raised her eyes to his. "Thank you for your trust. I have to say, the disquiet that will surround our return may need help from one in your position, especially when the council decides to drag me in for questioning," his smile was forced and brief. "I'll place an ounce of my own trust for you."

She gave him a brief nod, the detail halting once as Levi and Mikasa returned, Eren in tow. He also carried bodies, and her heart clenched, catching sight of them before the wrap was placed around them, and Zoe didn't meet his eyes, stepping off her horse, using the stable body to support her before she stepped forward. Zoe walked down the row, her cape gone from her shoulders, torn off at some point; she didn't know when.

A hand stopped her movement, and she stood there, looking along the bodies, finding the same bite marks. She knew it was Petra in front of her, along with the rest, but it was Petra she focused on, recalling the conversation they'd had.

and the ones after that. Her knees gave out briefly, and she crouched, wishing she'd- These people, corpses now, had been something close to friends. Not a subordinate, really, because she didn't give orders around Levi. She'd have liked to know them better, even Auruo, who grated on her nerves, and Erd, who she'd kind of known, but never really talked to.

Levi came to rest on the other side of them, dipping and opening the cloth to reach the patch. She wanted to hold him, wanted to run and hide her face in his chest, but that was silly. Stupid. Zoe stood, not before letting her fingers brush against the wound on the girl's hand, a reminder about how brave these people were, how they didn't deserve to die.

She did. Was there any bravery left to her? Living; the sentiment hurt. Guilt clouded her mind, and Zoe thought that she didn't deserve anything, didn't want to be breathing while these people weren't. She clenched her hair in her hands, pulled as she trembled, shuddered slow. Breathed harder, but nothing caught.

Zoe walked stiffly away, swinging up on horseback as two new recruits, one with a head bandage on, lowered the other bodies onto the wagon. She breathed air tight through her teeth, still trying to refill her lungs, felt that the ones able to do so were lucky, certainly. Someone was shouting, pleading with Erwin to go back for a body.

"You guys argue like little kids," Levi said, hand on his hip, the little way he was holding himself just off enough for her to realize he was injured.

"Captain Levi!" one of them exclaimed.

"If you can confirm that he died, that should be sufficient. Whether you have his body or not, the fact is, he's dead," Levi said, "It changes nothing."

"but," one of them attempted, eyes flashing through the three, quantifying their ranks, and the fact that at least two of them were glaring.

"We will classify Ivan and the others as "missing in action," Erwin said. "It's settled. Let it go."

She turned her horse, allowing it to plod after him, urging it into a trot to pass him, lining herself up, ignoring the shouts behind her. Her horse kept pace beside the bodies, tremors reaching her as fast as the others. Three Titans thudded after the two men who'd been arguing to go back for their friend's body, the retrieval apparently successful with the limp body on one of their backs . One of the Titans had to be a variant, the way it held itself a bit off and broken, seeming to focus entirely on the mass of humans in front of it, unlike the other two who dropped back to swipe at the two men.

A shiver shuddered down her spine before she dropped back; she was always perturbed by some of the Titans who seemed to lack motor abilities. Maybe because it made them more monstrous. To her, she found them terrifying for another reason behind the physical. They were unable to be argued with, that's what it was; mindless killing machines with no conscious. Relentless, mindless, unstoppable. To an extent.

Zoe nodded once towards Mikasa as she moved back herself, allowing herself to line up with the larger one, ignoring the other as it ate one of the two men. Springing off her saddle a stab of blinding pain, Zoe put her refilled tank into good use, blades hacking through the nape of the neck, dropping down hard, rolling once before she sprung back into saddle, glancing to the giants already on the move along a nearby hill, knew the decision necessary. Still, as she heard Levi give the order, her heart dropped. Mikasa managed the next, her move much more refined, her legs obviously in better shape than Zoe's. The variant Titan was stamping along after the body cart, too tall, and fast for them to get close

With a glare, she checked that the surviving man was on his horse, and pushed her horse faster, watching the bodies fall. The Titans ignored them finally, but not before she caught a flash of Petra, Erd, Gunther, fisting her hands in the reigns, digging her heels in almost cruelly to the horse's sides. Lonny's sides. Where had Levi been?

They all halted to collect themselves, and she watched Levi stop by the man who'd caused the drop of bodies. Zoe would've cut him down where he stood, but her cruelty was not matched in that respect by Levi. His hate strung to the titans, and she watched the exchange, nodded, understanding his reasons, why he branched from the beating she'd have called up.

But she still would've disciplined him. Reckless, meaningless, endangering lives; there wasn't room for people who couldn't follow orders, and do it properly. A fitness, maybe, that allowed the veterans here to survive. Her eyes flicked to Eren, hoping the next time, that he could handle the female. Or she'd kill it herself; die trying. When she found it. Because it wasn't human anymore, she thought, as the gate rose, displaying humans of the correct persuasion.

Zoe rode along with them, head dropping low as she heard the murmurs of the people, glanced to the children, caught sight of curly brown hair that reminded her of her nephew. Her gut twisted, and she closed her eyes. Looked up and over to Levi's walking form, saw a man walking beside him, face happy, the name that had caught her ear cutting off the flow. Petra's father. He chatted on beside Levi as he walked, his horse's reins in his hand, tugging the dark horse along. Levi didn't look up, looking as if a storm cloud was following him along.

She stabbed her heels into her horses sides, as they cleared the village area, riding until her horse's lungs were audibly wheezing, the mare's head drooping as low as her own. The gates of wall Sina rose and she slipped from horse back, ignoring everyone, finding her bed, and curling up in it. Tears refused to come, and she stared ahead, eyes wide, mouth dropping low.

Wanted emotion of some type. Tears to flush out the image, but nothing. Nothing, and she hated herself. Knew she deserved it.

Zoe finally moved, and walked to the medic's building, sitting still as Sjeh tended to her wounds, staring forward. Her men came up to her, chuckling over the Scout REgiment's dip in supporters, and she grabbed the closest on, slapping him with as much force as she could muster. At least she felt the sting in her hand, though all she wanted was to hold on to something, make sure, to her knowledge, that it wasn't going to leave her.

"If I hear another word against them," she used harsh words, covered the insecurities as well as she usually did, "I will send you off to the Garrison Troops. Or arrest you for treason." She tilted her chin up, and off to the side, lip curling nastily, ignored the way her body trembled, leg shuddering with the tremors that precluded a panic attack. "Do I make myself clear?"

The troop she'd hit was on the ground, cheek a pink color. No answers came, so she raised her voice, biting out every word as she repeated her last phrase, standing up. A few stepped back, before they saluted, and she sat, holding up her hand to stop their departure. Every single one of them halted, no lazy stops, or sighs like before. And she was second in command now. So it was funny, right?

"Tell me what's happening." Give a fuck, or give them hell, wasn't that a saying? She couldn't choose, but she knew not to let them react. Zoe wouldn't figure it out now, sift through her mistakes, where she'd fucked up. Boiled it down to being friends with those people.

And now they were gone. Just gone. Gone. She wouldn't ever see them again. Know them as they grew through the years, the ups and downs. They'd never be able to experience that as well. Their livelihood, their voice was just; gone. Gone.

Petra wouldn't talk to Zoe about books anymore; Jay couldn't say hi to her anymore. Auruo couldn't swing his younger cousin around, have his relative shout at him to stop. Gunther couldn't snap off beat anymore, make tea that actually made Levi more than content. Erd couldn't see his wife anymore, worry about his income, and his wife in that matter; his family. And they didn't have their bodies, even. Nothing to really signify that they'd been there, and none of them hadn't been given a chance to make a mark more than statistics.

And it hurt more to know the personalities behind those statistics weren't there.

She listened to the reporting officer while Sjeh stitched her wounds again, barely hearing the, "there will be a scar here forever, you realize?". The wound wasn't deep, and she couldn't honestly feel anything, a hollow in her chest, and she wondered if Sjeh had something for that. Bed rest and warm packs were set around her other leg. Her mend took 3 days, and she was up, striding down the main path, hands on her back, stretching up.

Nile walked beside her, handed her a board, a piece of paper pinned to it, checking the path that Yeager would be coming down. Made sure everything was in place for a fast exodus, as well as running through the exit pattern with a couple of the more seasoned veteran civilians, the reason they'd been decommissioned usually in a limp, or a missing hand. Still, the older men and women were even more cut and dry than Erwin. Very genuine.

A common patrol was passing, and a tall boy glared at her and Nule, dark haired, with a large nose. Zoe cut her eyes over to him, eyes flickering fast over the new recruits. "I'm sorry, do you have something else to be looking at rather than the job at hand?"

"No ma'am," he said instantly, and a pretty female next to him tittered, eyes flicking over to him, then back on her.

"Good, then maybe you can review your niche in this plan. At some point that you decide to get in gear."

Zoe noticed her Commander looking at her, a slight grin at his mouth. She made a 'tch-ing' noise, and ruffled a hair through her newly cut hair, the action a default now, wished she hadn't done anything to make Nule happy. The group shuffled away, circled around the seniors, and both of their information needs were met. Or so she assumed. In any case, the people who'd die weren't important.

"I suppose all the other details are properly in place. Except to remind the citizens to remain inside while the detail passes." She flipped the page, happy to see a crossed out order . "I believe that's it."

Nule gave a sharp nod, collecting her clip-board, "Ah, Roth, I forgot to check; you are heading back to the outpost? Hurry along the Commander, as I believe that a week is about to pass."

"well, I suppose."

She didn't know if she could walk in the castle, empty halls echoing. Maybe she was over thinking it, adding more melodramatic than necessary. Her hands fisted, and she crossed her arms to hide the reaction.

* * *

_So please remember me, finally, and all my uphill clawing. My dear, but if I make the Pearly Gates, I'll do my best to make a drawing of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl, an angel kissin' on a sinner, a monkey and a man, a marching band; All around the frightened trapeze swinger_


	18. Usual

_Face down in the brown grass. Shame shame on my brown ass. Birds in the trees as we run through, and if I'm dead to the world, what you gon' do? What you gon' do? Like; I can't remember. Shot's fired, rewind, please girl be mine;(..)talk to me baby. Before we go crazy, might do it maybe(..) We were trying to forget there was something wrong. Love is Russian roulette, I had the safety on._

* * *

He caught sight of her, yanked himself up the stairwell, gave chase, elbowed his way through doorways, through the lack of people. She shut the door she'd dove past, and Levi didn't stop himself from colliding with it, fist hitting harder than the rest of his body, shuddering against it. Let the door hold him up, just wanted her to look at him, remind him that he hadn't lost everything again out there.

Petra had almost looked like Isabel, almost, almost, and he couldn't handle himself anymore, kicking the door harder, though his injured ankle gave a more prominent jolt of pain. He'd lost all of them; all of them in one fell swoop. Like the first time. Because he wasn't there for them, and fuck, maybe he was giving himself more shit than he needed, but he needed to blame something.

Give them a reason for dying, not just because the world was this fucked up. That it took strong, brave, men and women, dashed them against the rocks, rattled them, without much care. In all the stories, the good guys won. Wasn't that how it worked? And the heroes, they came back, through hell and high water; the heroes reached for the sun, found the ideal ending they'd been searching for. They could turn back to the friends who'd they had told to trust them, that, as always, the hero was going to keep that promise. And the people who'd put their trust in the hero were always waiting, smiling, unscathed. Trust in both directions worked. One person sticking it out with a bare amount of support; that worked.

Except, in real life, nothing worked out that well. Trust wasn't going to be the safety net that was always sure and strong; and everybody seemed to be happy to link arms and jump in many cases. Though, here, a number of people knew just how shoddy the net was. That the hell and high water the heroes sloughed through wasn't going to ease up on dry land. It'd just rise back up to meet them, hell and high water managing to form up a Titan or ten.

"I need you to open the door, Zoe," he said, pushed himself against it as if more weight was going to make it give.

Knew she was on the other side, just right there, breathing in and out. Alive, and she...well, he thought she loved him; trusted him. Similar to the trust that spanned to the people near him now. Alive. And the trust that'd gone sour. Some twist in the net had given to a hole; so they fell, broken on the jagged rocks beneath the net, which, he felt, had masked the treacherous terrain beneath, a false sense of security.

"I need you," he breathed. "Come on, come on, open the door, Zoe. Yea?"

Just needed to know that trust still meant something, saved someone. Wanted to hold her close, find something living that hadn't slipped away. Erwin; he was always going to be there. His Commander would probably claw his way back up a Titan's throat just to get in a final word, tell Levi a fact, spell it out clear as day. Fuck all the rain and fog, when that judgy motherfucker stood up, told him that pride had caused Farlan and Isabel's demise.

"No," came the quiet reply.

He buckled as though the word made all the weight on his shoulders multiply. As he sunk, he turned, sat his back against the door. Felt small for the first time in six years, remembered vividly how that feeling had come to him. How he'd been streaking across rain drowned grass, the fog, prints of Titans that lead him right back to his friends.

"Open the door," he attempted, hissed it into his hands.

"Is that an order, Levi?" Wasn't even sure if it was her who said those words, but they spun round his head, sounded exactly like Farlan. His friend's laughter after it, Isabel's tiny smile, that tooth gap Farlan made fun of just enough to convince him that his leaving would be better. Because big bro always came back. Wasn't that how it worked? Until it hadn't.

Like he'd seen a hundred times over, the memory replayed, the Titan tipping in, gaping expression, trying to eat Isabel. Managed to squash her with her position against the other one, all tangled up, made the other one fall over; fucking-squashed his little sister, though he'd never embraced the notion wholly, unlike Isabel. He'd stalled, tears feeling precisely like the rain on his face. Then it'd just gotten so dark. So dark.

"Zoe," he mumbled, not trusting his voice enough to not crack if he spoke louder, "I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry." He fisted his hands tight, let that one tear slip from his eye, watched it's path over the bridge of his nose. Sniffed when it slipped. "So sorry." He shook his head, dug his nails into his palm to at least bring a painful external manifestation. "I said I'd kill them all."

Her hand slipped under the door, nudged his. Levi pushed his fingers over hers, heard her shuddering breath. Understood, for some part, why she hadn't let him in; didn't think she was strong enough. Or looked strong enough to support him, and he sagged to the floor, unable to source the words to tell her he was the weak one now.

"We still can," she said.

He tightened his hold on her, tethered himself there, let Farlan's folly play behind his closed eyes, his friend's cry of disbelief as he found a mistake in his gear, tripped up his objective. For a brief moment, Flagon had shown up, but that'd done nothing good, just a lull, and more blood as the man's head disappeared. And was that really as far as they could go? That's what Farlan had shouted, watched their Squad Leader get taken up, a challenge, maybe, before the Titan reached for him. LEvi had been so fucking close, regretting that choice to leave them. Farlan saluted him, eyes clear, not really….

His good leg gave a shudder, similar to one of hers, though he found anger in place of nerves, opened his eyes. Levi squeezed her hand harder. Brought his free one up to his forehead, pressed his hair back again, as he had when he stood in front of the families of his deceased squad member. Deceased friends, accurately. Did them one last courtesy by telling their loved ones himself of their folly, as well as making sure, if nothing else, that he'd remember them.

He let his head fall forward, one leg sliding from its position. Levi slept for the first time in four days, woke up briefly to her tucking him into bed, too tired to really argue against it, even if Zoe didn't tuck. Mostly wrapped the blankets around him till he couldn't move; but the sentiment was still there. Same with her in terms of a warm body, and he dozed off again.

Her movement got him up permanently, thankfully at a regular time, and he let her walk around for a few minutes. She turned as she pushed her hair up into a ponytail, gave him a little smile as her effort failed, hair still too short. Levi took a bit of time wiggling his way out of her wrapping system, breathing hard when he finally succeeded, caught her muffled giggle.

"Seriously?"

She walked over to him, let Levi tug her down, fingers slotting between hers, got a measured kiss before he let those go. His hands pushed over her shirt, happy she wasn't in uniform. He was mulling over another notion, unsure if he could manage getting dressed and out of bed. And wash himself.

"You smell," she said, though it wasn't a strong statement, and she certainly didn't seem to put off, got closer.

For a good time he fell quiet, let his hands rove slow over her smooth skin, breathed her in, melted as well he could. Him being dirty; so he couldn't wash her clean in any sense, adding metaphors. As if he was wiping her clean with dirty hands. With these hands, he'd killed so many fucking times, managed to quiet the childlike ideal that he'd save the world with every felled monster. One day, he'd kill the right one. But for now, he couldn't save the world, and those creatures didn't always stay dead.

He pushed his face into place, forehead to the crook of her neck, thinking in simple terms 'fuck it', before he said, "I love you." Hoped she'd believe it.

"What?" Zoe bit out the word, hardly moving until he spoke.

"I just; I think, now; I need you to hear it, yea? I'm not going to lose you without telling you outright, because you're such a...reckless," he had both of his hands under her shirt, squeezing her tighter against him, digging his nails into her skin, knew she was real when she reacted to the pain, "bookworm, who managed to flip me head over heels with a bare minimum of effort. Isn't that the stupid saying?" He gave a snort of derision, but softened his voice to continue, "So there; you hear that? I love you."

"Yes. And sure that saying, is stupid, Levi," she said, back bending when he shifted her, pressed kisses to her exposed sternum, the action unconscious, listening to her. "And I love you too. Even if it's not really smart, is it?" She had her gaze on him when he raised his eyes to take her in, murmured, "just to add some insults to stand against yours."

He tipped his head up, meeting her eyes, "I'm yours."

"I know," she said, a laugh slipping out, though it soon tapered off.

Levi moved, twisted them so he was on top, no longer sitting with her on the edge. He put weight on her, pressed her into the mattress, knee sliding up to prop himself over her, pushed up her shirt until she shifted, let him push it all the way off. Her hand went around the back of his head when he pressed a kiss to her ribcage, upset they were standing out. Wondered what was causing the weight loss, but she was still here. Still here. Still his.

"Mine," he breathed, pressing his warm lips to her even warmer skin.

A hissed, "yes," reached his ears, and he really did love her. Knew he shouldn't. But he fucking did.

This; he made sure she knew that she was the only shape he'd pray to. Zoe seemed amused by that, linked her ankles behind him, drew him back down to her. Told him to focus on her, right now, and he did. Had. Didn't know what she was going on about, but if she even thought that his attention was elsewhere, she really...fuck him, she was just; so good to him.

He never dreamed he'd meet someone like her, or love someone like Zoe. Expected, when he was dealing with Hanji, he'd step further away from Zoe, just due to the name association, but no. So here he was, overheating close to her as usual. A fire, maybe, though when he related Zoe to a fire, it was due to a quiet thought; if the world was on fire she was the only one who could save him. Whimsical, but hell.

Levi pressed his face to her neck, hummed, sure he would get a laugh. Zoe met his expectation, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, maneuvering into place for a kiss, more pliant than ever as he let his hand skim up, stopped briefly by her skirt, but he did manage to move it to her lower back, easing her closer. Difficult to achieve that last idea, as he was pressed flush to her.

Per usual.

* * *

_Zoe_

* * *

She hadn't expected to hear the love word at any point in her life. Besides from herself, and maybe from her Nephew, but even that word needed the nudges of sweets and ridiculously expensive blankets, along with books she didn't think he should be reading. Might be considered a heretic, but, hey, like Aunt, like Nephew. If that phrase made sense.

Zoe did expect sex after the L word. But considering the idea that'd held, this idea being that she'd be halfway into a grave by the time she got a love from Levi, she'd hardly entertained that turn of events. So this, this was all something of a rush, and it wasn't entirely...going outside of the wall had shaken her, and though he'd obviously recovered enough after sleeping through a day, she was still off.

She amused herself by considering 'turned me on', then shook her head as he shifted, arm around her waist, tipping her up for a brief moment. Zoe didn't know what he was trying to do, but she followed his lead, reminded now of how fast Levi was when he was more than eager, hands everywhere as he eased her further against the headboard. When his lips left hers, she attempted to breathe, but it caught as he yanked at her skirt. Her hand came down, made to push at his shoulder; she'd gone through too many skirts and shirts when it came to him and his lovely habit of ripping them.

"If you rip this," she started, heard the tear, and glared at him. "REally?"

Zoe tried to push her hand over his face, turn him away. She had to buy new clothes; she should just fucking walk around naked near him. But that would enable him further, frankly, as well as make him assume that his birthday had came early. He'd said that once when she walked out of his room in the Military provided townhouse, the underwear she'd gone to bed in seemingly the only piece of cloth she held to her name. Wondered when he had the time to clear out the 3 drawers that held her clothes, swore they'd been in place an hour back.

"Yea," he said, lips twitching up.

She managed to get in something of an injury, though he grabbed her wrists, rolled around with her. It did lack some of the strength he usually exerted when he made to pin her down, but she assumed the battle yesterday had hurt him somehow. Zoe didn't mind, mostly because she got the lovely and infrequent place on top of him, settled there, close enough to hear the hardly audible whispers used. Got kisses frequently, though his hands were exceedingly distracting; but that's what she needed. Maybe what they both needed. She wasn't going to make assumption on Levi's part.

Levi didn't show anything beside the already presented lack of emotion most times. Even after kisses, in the beginning, he refused to melt as she did, keeping the dynamic present (which still held prevalent between them now) that he was going to be the one to lean on. In general, be better than her, stronger than her. Then, he had copious amounts of charisma, along with a cool confidence in his abilities. Pride stopped him, hindered his ability to bend to any other opinion; and Levi had told her pride was the reason he'd lost Farlan and Isabel. Wondered when he had came to terms with that, thought it had gone hand in hand with him going after her, rather than sitting back with the knowledge she'd come back for him.

The words stalled briefly in her throat, but Zoe managed, "Love you." foolish thing to do. She'd been so eager to take her own advice, learn to be a wiser fool, but she decided to travel her normal route.

He hummed low in response. Which was just enough for her.

* * *

_Seems like, street lights, glowin'; happen to be just like moments, passin, in front of me so I hopped in, the cab and, I paid my fare; see I know my destination, but I'm just not there. Life's just not fair. _

* * *

** LEVI | ****844**

* * *

_Levi's finger tapped slow on the bar, gazed off in a direction that was something of an attempt to hide what he was preoccupied with. Farlan was snapping next to him, doing a very odd slide out every time one of the women in the group of singers took lead, mouthing along with the repetitive song. Eventually, Levi let his free hand swing and slap his friend on the chest with the back of his hand, focusing on Zoe, rather than Farlan in his peripheral with his constant wiggling._

_Despite this injury, Farlan started again as soon as he assumed that Levi wasn't looking at him. When Farlan caught an odd look, he pointed at the person, usually (always) female, continued with extra zeal and usually (always) got a laugh and blush from the opposite sex. Levi finally pressed his hand into a slightly curved shape, and pressed it into place, effectively blocking Farlan from view._

_She'd went out in that dress not because, he thought, she wanted men to talk to her. Just knew they'd be watching her, and fuck, she was putting a strain on his person in a number of different ways. Zoe set her chin on her hand, listening to the female across to her. Midi; that was her name. Maybe. He didn't really waste his time talking to anyone outside Farlan and Isabel, and he was still fairly short when it came to Zoe._

_Besides, they'd only slept together, what? Fifteen times. So this, him staring close to her person, wasn't a good look. Especially due to the fact that he wasn't supposed to be pining over this girl. In no sense of the word; but here he was, watching her from his position across the room, lanterns spotted everywhere, making this bar a brighter one in the radius of the Scout Regiment's headquarters._

_"Why are they dancing?" Levi finally gritted out, slapping his hand down, cutting off Farlan's path to his alcohol, the taller boy making a hardly suffocated squeak._

_"Because that's what girls do," his friend said, trying to guide his drink around Levi's hand. "Generally. And she's not dancing."_

_"Look again."_

_Farlan did, due to the unyielding hold Levi had on his drink, and therefore the money Farlan had stolen, safe in someone's pockets now. His friend nodded, watched for a bit longer than necessary, the group of girls including all the ones he placed in the top four best looking females in the vicinity they now occupied. This included, in order, Lei, Tara, Zoe, and Bella. Levi, now, was conveniently ignoring this ranking and the ridiculous amount of cycling the last three names did; sometimes Zoe would be second, then Bella; back to Tara. So, he didn't take it seriously._

_Also because, and he was going to evaluate this emotion once he was able to think clearly, without jealousy casting a pall over him, that she was the only one he had eyes for. Didn't know what it was; he'd looked at the 'top four' before official partnerships were enforced. Now, he was staring over her head in a sad attempt to dissuade anyone's thoughts that he was focused on a person._

_Had to be the sex. Or the image of her out of breath at the end of a run._

_He pushed out of his chair, avoided the second female who'd gotten the guts up to talk to him (not an easy feat, and he'd been nice, in the sense that he didn't talk to them) to the side, and walked up to her. Thought the easy sway to the rhythmic, brass instrument ridden band was just...terrible. Zoe gave a reflexive jump when she caught sight of him walking towards her, stepped back when he moved in closer, though she didn't take any further attempts to move from him._

_"Levi?"_

_He reached, plucked the edge of her dress discreetly, making sure than his original direction had been correct, that they were now in the shadows. She stood there, kept her eyebrow neatly raised as he searched for words that would excuse his rapid movement towards her. Ones that could help guide himself around muddled emotions._

_"Who are you here with?"_

_"Um, Midi." she tucked a loose strand of hair over her ear, dropped her eyes away from his, the tiny smile slipping from her mouth easily._

_He nodded, studied his knuckles, the scratch he'd received from a branch similar to the ones her nails could leave on him. "You," he didn't know why something in his throat caught, but he cleared it, fisting his hand tighter, "want to leave them here? Considering that you don't seem to be talking, more listening."_

_"I'm being social, Levi."_

_"No you're not."_

_"You can't always get your way, you know?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, though it didn't give any extra effect to her slim build. _

_"I know."_

_"So, you should accept my statement; I'm not going to go with you."_

_Levi kept his expression stable, though he couldn't stop his eyebrow from ticking up._

_"Don't give me that eyebrow," she said, another smile touching at her lips, making herself laugh as always, and it was some combination of the two that was managing to make his normal ease of detachment in relationships a good deal less 'easy'. "I'm here to look cute, so," she let her arms uncross, swinging them to and fro as she rocked up on her toes, "you're out of luck. I'm going to use Midi's, 'you can't do nothin' for me.'. Even if that's kind of rude. I'm sorry."_

_"You know I could give a shit whether it's rude or not. There's no need to tiptoe around me, Zoe.."_

_"Not everyone is as mean as you, Levi."_

_"Look; I'll just leave if you don't want to do anything."_

_"That's up to you. I guess, maybe later. But, I really do think being social would help my standing in terms of leadership, I need to work on that. What if I go down a rank?" this was more a question for herself, and Zoe answered it with a shiver. "So, I'm going to go over there," she pointed past him, voice trembling with the normal amount of nerves, tripped over her own two feet as she attempted to navigate politely through the crowd of people, which wasn't a good strategy at all._

_He scoffed, tipped as she walked past him, didn't twist his torso, just looked over his shoulder. Gorgeous. Even when she was restricting sexual activity._

_Levi watched her sit again, made herself smaller as another man slid on the bench, tugging Lei with him, ignoring Zoe. He shifted, lips turning down, thinking that she shouldn't be shrinking herself, because despite the lack of allotted hours together, Levi knew she was better than most of these people. She dealt with his shit, so he was employing a couple of assumptions of his own._

_He caught her again, later at night, and hoped she'd sufficiently been 'social' enough to now throw that out, be happy to entertain him instead. She was, once they'd made good distance from the bar. That decision to pick a good distance had been his idea, as Zoe wanted to go all the way back to the barracks, and was still trying to assert this wish. How cute._

_"Cutest thing, aren't you?" he said, knowing he was coming across as mocking, tapping a finger just once under her chin, tilted up enough for him to kiss her. "You can't always get what you want."_

_Levi hoisted her into position, keeping a hand on one of her legs, guiding her limb into proper place, knew she'd do the same. He ducked his head, fought to get rid of the dress in some manner. He'd found the stitching that held it to her frame when she shifted, effectively shutting his progress down._

_"Am I?" she asked, broke his concentration per usual._

_"What?" He almost sighed, hips stuttering for a brief moment._

_"Pretty."_

_"I'm fucking you, aren't I?" His response was terse, blunt, as coarse as usual._

_And, because he was experiencing some repetition, 'as usual', she shrugged it off. He wondered who'd matched his general behavior patterns(fussy and high-strung), and gave her the ability, after a number of years, to let comments bounce off. Or maybe she was good at pretending they were deflected; he didn't know. Nor did he want to think about her._

* * *

_850 | Present | Zoe_

* * *

She held out her hand, standing in front of the tailor, respective to, at least, the Scout Regiment. Not free, of course, and that skirt had been one of her nicer white ones, so he owed her. It even had lace edging, and Zoe quite liked that feature, though it might've had some share of fault in the ease of tearing. He placed money in her hand, resting out of the sun, finding the shadows.

The skirt issue done, they moved on, walking down a hardly traveled trail. Quiet reigned, and she realized she needed this walk. With someone who knew the loss to be experienced beyond the wall was unavoidable. Zoe thought she'd sag under the knowledge, face a harsher reality, knew she'd tried to skirt it, but she accepted the fact now. Wondered if Levi felt the same kind of weight.

Abruptly, her leg gave out, and panic shot through her, mind taking the tangent and running with it, like always. Listed the strife she'd face if her athletic abilities failed her. They'd find someone else who was as smart and as gifted as she was, without the ticks that robbed from those gifts. Someone would be better than her. Though she did strive to make sure that would never happen, Levi had prescribed against it. But he didn't understand what it was like to be female, and lacking some of the natural abilities he did in the battlefield.

He put out a hand, and she allowed him to pull her to her feet, his eyes flicking to her legs, then her back, turning her about once, ignoring the little protests she'd made, checking over her. She laughed when he gave a sigh, sounding too tired for his age, but she often did something similar, so. Zoe cupped her hands around his face, kissing him and holding him to her as long as she could, hand dragging up into his hair, losing a bit of finesse between the two of them. Right now, this was easier than speaking, dulling out words and voices she'd never hear again.

She pulled away, and he leaned in to nip at her lips, pressing himself close, because despite it all, there was a nice dynamic in being pressed close to another warm body. Levi touched his forehead to hers and she linked her hands behind his head. He breathed heavy, held her tighter. Zoe did recall, when near him, that she wasn't alone. It always was nice to finally lose the prevalent feeling.

"I think my detachment idea worked before this. You," she huffed, felt his chest heave in a short laugh. She'd been very good at employing her mother's ladylike teachings and general congeniality alongside the polar opposite emotional severing she'd took part in. "But I...I think knowing them, and missing them for just that reason is worth," the hollowed space, maybe. "the off-kilter response, but I…"

"Their deaths-just, it was-bordering on- I was supposed to take care of them," he muttered.

"No, you weren't," she opened her eyes to his. "Same with me. I knew what I was doing; they made the choice. Their choice, their sacrifice."

"You didn't see them," He said, dropping his gaze, eyes veritably shuttering over,"What the-"

"monster," she cut in, gripping his hair tight in her hand, remembering the twisted limbs, blood dripping from the leaves. She barely ground out, "any other fucking title is too good." Zoe wanted to do something more, and the anger she'd felt before seeing the folly his Squad had suffered didn't even scrape at what simmered inside her now.

"what the monster did to them," he continued, tongue passing quick over his lips. "Gunther, he was cut down- I had to cut him down; she'd allowed him to break his neck, hacked a wire, and let him swing. And Erd? bitten in half, Zoe. Auruo wasn't in any better shape, his face was still screwed up, I- Petra, fuck, she was a perfect dynamic, didn't really know if she'd fit, but damn, she could fight. They were all good fighters, and better people than I've ever had the chance to be." He kept his eyes on hers. "Smashed against the base of a trunk. Eyes still open. All of them had their eyes open. I never get used to it; and I wished I was heartless as some make me out to be, because I'd love the route of not feeling shit. For all of it, I'm a good man."

She nodded, whispering his name, got hers in return, pressing her face in his chest, tucking her chin slightly. He held her tighter, and she shifted her arms, holding him to her, arms a bit oddly stationed, but he didn't seem to mind at all. Zoe was fairly happy he wasn't claiming it silly, like she thought he would.

"You were injured, weren't you?" she mumbled, feeling the difference in the way he held himself.

He scoffed. "Yes. Fuckers never listen to me."

"Does it hurt?"

"Zoe, injuries usually hurt."

"Don't be an ass."

"We need to get back."

"Yea. Okay."

She pulled away reluctantly, surprised when he caught her hand, walking ahead of her, putting barely any weight on his left leg. Zoe moved so he could rest his weight on her, and he glared, muttering briefly to himself, before he allowed her to help him.

"Maybe you should lay off the rough sex, hmm?"

Levi leaned in, kissing her rather publically, his weight on her still. "No," he said, as soon as he pulled back. "I can still make you scream."

"Just what every girl wants to hear."

* * *

They assumed the identity of the Female Titan to be Annie. Zoe had seen her earlier that day, among some of the new recruits in the East City. Her gut twisted, and she stared down at the table, foot set directly next to Levi's raising her eyes just enough to watch the two new Scout REgiment recruits give their thoughts, backing up evidence, leaving her at loss.

"If I'd been back at Office," she breathed, then shook her head. "So what do you need me for? You could've told me this in Wall Sina." Not drag her back here, though the trip had been far more

"MAking sure Jean's appearance isn't checked," Erwin said.

Zoe's lips twitched slightly, "I'm sorry, but the Military Police don't do checking. Our legendary lack of effort may be true."

"Maybe you should attempt to stop corruption?" Eren said, naivete absolutely thrilling. She'd thought like that. But, she wasn't brave. Cowardice promoted her, she knew, and one day, she might disintegrate under that weight.

She dragged her eyes to him, pursing her lips to give him a frank look. "Sadly, I've been away for a month, and while I can normally tone down the amount of shit my superiors do, Nule is very, very, very, very bad at doing this while me, the moral police, is absent. Also," she pointed down at her legs. "Injuries, helping you. And, I have to say, we're often caught in the revolving doors of merchants, meaning, that while I can tie up snakes, they are practiced enough to figure a way out. So. I'll clear as many citizens as possible," Zoe summed up, legs still sore. "But, if this doesn't go well, I'm going to," her voice threatened to crack further, "they'll demote me. Or worse. I just-I've worked for this position. Maybe not in the best ways, but-" she waved her hand, cut herself off.

They looked at her, obviously thinking that she'd continue, but Zoe dropped her gaze, chewing harshly at her bottom lip, moving her hands to her lap to twist them. Her mother really had been looking out for her safety. Zoe could've stayed where she was, had a life the woman would be proud of; instead, here she was, chasing things she believed her mother had never thought of.

* * *

_And I thought the world would revolve; I thought the world would revolve without us. But nothing I know could slow us down; they couldn't slow us down. I thought I could live without you; hey, hey. 'Cause nothing I know can break us down; they can't break us down. And just like you I can't be scared. And just like you I hope I'm spared. But it's tough love; I know you feel it in the air. Even the babies know it's there. (..)The laws of the world tell us what goes sky; and what falls. It's a super power. The laws of the world never stopped us once. Cause together we got plenty super power_


	19. Breach

(AN: So, here, there is going to be s**_evere spoilers for further in manga events_**. Cutting off at the anime ending, and slapping the manga, female titan closure in place, as it's generally much more exciting. Also, this bridges to the Wall Rose/Beast Titan debacle, in varying amounts, though it's hardly touched on, the latter. As well as revealing the Colossal and Armored titan (although it was spoiled for me by tumblr, so, that's sad information on my ability to navigate the spoiler channels), and Ymir. Basically, **unless you're caught up on the manga, please don't read this; major spoilers.** I'm repeating myself, I know, but I'd hate to have spoilers leak through, so I'm getting repetitive. )

* * *

_It's kinda sad, but I'm laughing whatever happens; assassins are stabbed in the back of my cabin, Labrador yapping. I'm glad that it happened, I mean it, between us, I think there's something special. And if I lose my mental, just hold my hand even if you don't understand, hold up: No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone, I'd rather be with you. Fuck these other people, I'll be right by your side, till 3005(..)Sorry, I'm just scared of the future; till 3005, I got your back, we can do this; hold up._

* * *

They stood in front of the crystal, Zoe's hands behind her back, eyes dull as they gazed at the girl. Levi stood close, the suit he wore a bit too long for him, despite it all. She wanted to reach, stroke her hands over the gemlike barrier, maybe shout like the Scout REgiment troop had, tell her to come out, face them, because she had a couple things she'd like to do. Of course, she had made striking innovations in torture techniques; as when you've spent so long being restrained and congenial to people you honestly despise, you at least had to have a couple of creative ways on the backburner, entailing ways to hurt them.

"What a loss," Levi finally sighed.

"At least she's locked up," Hanji said.

"I'd rather her moving so I could cut her down," Levi said.

"Levi, you're injured," Zoe murmured

"Doesn't mean shit," he snapped.

She took a step away from him, giving a tired sigh, walking out of the underground, coming at her Commander's insistence. His (though hers by immediate removal of Nile) men were clustered close to the wall, around all the lifts up close to the breach. Pastor Nick was at the top of the wall, over the hole, slumping visibly, despite his distance, as tarp was draped over the eyes.

Zoe let go of a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding, stiff as she staved off a shiver. She passed a hand over the back of her neck, turning to watch the Scout Regiment troops coalesce elsewhere, then focused back on the main issue. Due to the fact that her job was on the line. And other general things that was going to make her heart pick up another pace.

"We did clear out most of the men and women here? Providing that Eren was the true danger," Nile said.

"Yes, but, there were a couple other more stubborn people who parked their asses in basements, so, witnesses," Zoe pushed her hand under her uniform jacket as she spoke.

Nile raised his hand, "I'll call over Nathan, try and snag Jay; I'd prefer you three elite troops around me, as well as aiding the clean up."

Zoe did manage to wave at Jay and catch his attention, though the tall, slim built man had a habit of looking lost. The expression had increased at the news of the Special Tactile Squad and the expedition numbers being decimated, despite the presence of Eren. She'd managed to gain strength, rather than let it slip, wished Jay didn't give a mirror image of herself, though at least it wasn't as accurate as usual.

Nile walked to them, Nathan at his shoulder, the redhead's always present smirk widening when he saw her. Zoe looked down at her feet, then stopped, chose to raise her eyes, keep them on his, that malignant glint behind the false cheer stronger than ever. And what had Levi told her? To learn how to say no; right after she'd witnessed his quick, emotionless response to Hanji's topic start, though the woman had hardly said anything to him.

But then, she wasn't good at saying no. It'd gotten her into so much trouble, and uncomfortable situations. The most notable occurrence had been when she was still in training, accosted by Lucas, due to her strained guidelines. Being rude wasn't what her mother would've wanted. Zoe had desperately wanted to adhere properly to her mother's ideals, attempted to hold onto them, even with her time away.

Then Levi. Who was a terrible influence. She'd never gotten in trouble for noise levels in, what? Fifteen years: then Levi. Which, she felt, was a simple way to describe his presence in her life, as it always turned out to be abrupt, something like being flipped onto your back with no warning. So cruel to her in many ways at the start, but he did seem to love it when he made her plea to be let back up, and a number of other areas where he enjoyed her begging.

All of this; it'd taken a long time, maybe, for both of them to realize that there was room in their hearts to love someone. To give the emotion and sentiment everything they had. Now, the ghosts wouldn't matter, because they'd hide in sin; and love was certainly a sin of some sort.

Nile shifted, just as Nathan finally dropped his eyes away from her, shoulder slumping, maybe an external show of humility, but she'd never seen that on him. The Commander settled his hand on the pendant at his neck, and Zoe remembered the weight of it. What it'd taken to get it back.

"The Royal Government has clear instructions," Nile said, nail digging into his skin instead, though the action was only noticed by her, perhaps due to her small stature, "the ones who willingly go to Capital should offer no hesitation after we have explained the situation; check their identification. There will be an accompanying amount of 50 Military Police, as well as two Central Military Police who will move with you three through the houses. WE have this area sectioned off; no person who saw this will leave without answering to us."

"And if they say no?" Nathan asked, looking too eager.

"Don't make a mess," Nile said. "And with the identification, allow the blue coded and up a second chance. Towards gold and silver, who, I believe, are only 5 in this area, use the proper chemicals to encourage unconsciousness, and bring them to the capital as such, though we're all in agreement that they're already in Capital, unless a fluke has occurred; to boil it down properly ."

Zoe nodded, murmured, "do they want it done by today?"

"Of course," though it wasn't Nile who spoke, instead a Central Military Police, equipment around his hips she'd never seen before; she'd seen the guns in books, thought they'd been decommissioned as ineffective(hurting humans, rather than Titans, and the price to create them had been outrageous), traded for the rifles now used across the board by MPs to quell crowds. "Now. Let's move."

Nathan was first through the doors, using his shoulder when a lock was in place. Once, they had to shoot through the door, though none of the MPs with them looked comfortable enough to do so. This had to be more brutal and violent than what they'd assumed to sign up for, being that the men and women in the group were hardly in their mid-twenties, and hadn't been in the Regiment for a long time.

The Central Military Police stepped up, set his gun to the keyhole, the sallow man (name tag smeared; Worth)a counterpart to the one who talked, clothes rumpled and dirty. He didn't blink when the gun fired, though everyone else did, Zoe's heart jumping as something on the other side fell. Nathan let the door swing out, got a look at the affected human, the stomach of the woman blown out, still twisting before them, though blood soon bubbled, and she stilled.

Worth pushed the body out of his way, stopping at the first landing, kicking out viciously. Nathan ignored the body as well, jogging to the next landing, doing the same, Jay slipping up the steps soon after, and Zoe followed, used to this, at least. Her kicks held the same power the men did, and hers revealed a man, huddled back against the window.

Zoe cleared her throat, spoke flatly, "With recent events, the Royal Government needs to have you in attendance at the Capital, as well as your identification forms; comply now, and there won't be any harm." She held out her hand, and the man patted wildly around for his forms, speed increasing as she felt a presence at her shoulder. Zoe didn't have to turn to know it was Worth, watching the papers be pushed into her hands.

"Rose," Worth said, reading out the sentence that was to be exacted, though it was one word.

She stepped forward, dropping her eyes away from the man's, wishing he hadn't snuck into Sina without the tell-tale stamp. He was old as well, possibly a grandfather to the inhabitants, though they'd left, and the woman dead downstairs had very much resembled a nurse, or some housekeeper. The dagger in her hand was still sharp; though Worth had given it to her at the start of all this. Almost done. And she was damn good at applying the don't ask, don't tell ideal, fighting off every single inch of her that enjoyed doing this, just like Nathan.

So, maybe Nathan wasn't odd; maybe he'd just broken first. Then Jay, slightly grown out hair the same color as his eyes, the black impenetrable, even to the last light of the day, as the civilian attempted to make a dash for the door. His lunge was quick, grip in the boy's hair tight, exposing his throat before Jay brought the knife down. A smile curled slow over his lips.

And that mirror she found in him was as accurate as ever.

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

Zoe looked up as soon as he walked in, sitting at the table without a book, or papers in front of her. Levi had just peeled off his dark jacket, opened his mouth to question this anomaly as he pushed two fingers under his collar, when she stood, strode to him, kissed him hard. He wasn't one to interrupt a good thing, allowing his arms around her waist instead. Still, the zeal behind this was, to an extent, another odd thing, as she was quieter after the Military Police went and wrecked morality across the board.

She yanked at his cravat, tossed it over her shoulder, dragged him closer. He'd been making some sort of progress towards stopping and talking, but this; fuck. So fucking eager, hands trembling at the buttons of his shirt, though she achieved her goal, pushed that off him. And, once again, he wasn't going to interrupt a good thing, nor stop her when she was like this.

Messy kisses were smeared over his jaw, and she paused close to his ear, spoke, "Come on, Levi."

"Hmm?" his humm was more of a tease, his nails digging into her skin, backing her towards the wall. Briefly, her hand went around the back of his neck, keeping her from stumbling as he moved. Levi stalled, unsure what to do with her, a number of scenarios circulating around his head, and he couldn't pick one decisively. "What do you want?"

"Fuck me," She said, hand tangling in his hair, breaking for an instant to draw in breath, "please, Levi. Baby," he'd never heard the word, and concern flashed again, "I need you to overwhelm me, yea?" Her hand fisted tighter in his hair, desperation carrying a tone to her breathing as well. "Erase me."

Levi was going to ask her a question. Talk it out like they should, because this was a relationship, wasn't it? And now, he'd rather be sure she was okay through a different route now, and he attempted to keep the notion in his mind, but he decided to throw history to hell.

A bit of the worry her face had shown disappeared when he picked her up, dumped her on the bed. Probably the last night they'd have a bed. But fuck it.

* * *

"You know, we could settle down," Levi said, knowing it was abrupt, turning from the stove.

Zoe looked up, hand in her hair, eyes ringed with sleep. "Yea? But you always deflect that."

He nodded, occupying himself with cooking for a good time. They'd gotten up at lunch time. And he was surprised no one had knocked down the door, or set a wake up time. Whatever it was, it was luck, to some extent.

"I know. I just; I'm," Levi clenched his jaw, stirred the eggs more forcefully, "worried about you."

She laughed, though it ended with a cough, had her clearing her throat. He watched her hand run through her hair, tug the longest piece in front of her eyes, the ends curled like it always did when it got that long. Zoe began to twirl her hair around her finger, letting the conversation go, focusing on her book. The picture she struck now was a frequent one; one he'd seen throughout the years of knowing her. With her hair around her finger, and book under another.

"Zoe," he said, slapping the button to choke off the oxygen vent, the fire dying slowly. "Answer me."

"What do you want me to say, Levi?"

"I don't want you to even say erase me."

Her lips twisted down, and she mumbled, "I didn't know you heard that."

"I hear everything."

"No you don't."

"No, but I hear enough."

She set her chin in her hand, watched him walk towards her. Zoe let him dip, or maybe he was moving at a speed she couldn't really block, his arm sliding quick around her waist, kissing her, though it was mostly to get her closer. He held her tight, bent over because she was still half sitting, her face pressed to his shoulder. Finally felt her shudder, wrap her arms around him, had him hold her up.

"I'm not going to ever erase you, yea? I've got you. Got someone for when the world ends. Doesn't matter. Even if you can't cook. And dating a girl who likes to cook was kind of on my bucket list, but that's hardly an issue."

Zoe's snuffles stopped abruptly, and she leaned away, eyebrow arched as she said, "Excuse me? What do you mean, I can't cook?"

"...oh fuck, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did, Levi, now what do you mean?"

"Nothing."

He made to turn, but she was hot on his heels, blocking his attempts to get away from her, to someplace where she wasn't going to ask him that. Eventually, he had to confess, even if it was with her over his shoulder by that time, hand slapping at his back, promising to kill him. Which she would, he was sure, with all of the shit she did, overtaxing his heart; he'd heard about how having a woman who loved you would increase your lifespan, but frankly, he did recall how peaceful the men who'd died early had looked, compared to the ones who were stuck with a woman. He'd start looking as old as Erwin did, so it was an issue. But he was very, very willing to deal with that.

Levi had her up on a counter close to the stove now, telling her how to cook, "So you-" He smacked her hand away again, "no, you don't put that much salt in there, Zoe, fuck, are you serious?"

She scoffed, "I've read fifty cooking books, and I can remember at least one or two recipes."

"But proportion doesn't hold, and I know you're bad with numbers."

"I had a better grade average than you."

"That's because you're a bookworm, Zoe. And I recall you saying you could guess better than me."

"Yes, my guessing is polished."

He snorted, got a slap, even if it didn't hurt, and he used it to pull her right back to him, turning off the stove again. Zoe pushed at his shoulder for a second, a request to wait hardly clear with her laughter, pressing her locket into his hand.

"What?" he asked, letting the gold peice, along with the braided leather roll in his hand.

"Just; hold onto it."

"Sure."

"And if you retake Wall Maria, and I'm not there-"

"Shut up, Zoe."

"No, I'm serious; just find the place where my mom and dad were buried. Or just, try to find the farm, I don't know, but something close. Yea?"

"Broke the mood."

Then four-eyes stuck her head into the room, and if that wasn't enough, the lovely news of Wall Rose was given. So, no sex. And his leg was still out of it; and Zoe was in danger; and shitty four-eyes was commenting again on how Zoe was her surname.

"Hey Levi-" four-eyes attempted, on horse back now.

"No."

"I didn't say anything yet."

The amount of times this occurred really should give some warning, or premonition towards the result.

* * *

_Let me hold you in my arms, forever more. These cold nights, the park is ours, standing by the side; Let you go, oh to the sea, just for me. Don't let me lose my life; keep holding on, let the modest go, as my mind moves to and fro, waking up for one last show. We see him in the night; tell him I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of them._

* * *

"Hey, keep walking," Levi kicked the pastor forward. "I don't need you getting lost and making extra work for me." His leg hurt. Fuck all if this turned him into an old man, predicting the weather to sour when his leg hurt.

"Wh-what is this?" Nick asked, stalling again in the path, receiving another hit from Levi.

"What else did you expect? Of course, everything's not going to be bright and pretty. The wall's fallen after all."

Levi watched the people move, sticking close to the taller man, glimpsing the tears. The pastor began to move into the group, but his hand shot out, gripping his shoulder, able to just see over it, to the crying child. Honestly, he'd laugh, but then, he wasn't that cold. But it was worth it to observe the man's ashen face, eyes still on the child, searching pitifully for it's family. Nick stepped forward, nudging the edge of the veritable stream of people.

"Hey. Where the hell do you think you're going?"

No response.

"The reality looks somewhat different from the pretty illusions you pictured to yourself while in you little sect, hmm?" Levi wasn't really talking for a response anymore. "these are the faces of those who you're trying to cast away. Take a good long look at the faces of people who lost their homes. They're feeling anxious and insecure right now; but suppose your wishes come true and the lands within the wall get swarmed with titans…" He trailed off for just a moment before he spoke again, "the last expression people will wear on their faces won't be this; something worse. The end will be the same for everybody. Everyone will be losing their lives in between Titans' stinking jaws, but not before getting put through the worst experience imaginable. All the humans, together, like family, best friends; no exceptions."

Levi crossed his arms over his chest, watching the humans pass, allowing Nick to assume, without saying anything, that Levi would meet the same end. Which was something dark and dim; even the best soldier couldn't make it out alive. Zoe beside him, maybe, but it wouldn't make it any better, and he refused to let her die while he was still living, not that he'd tell anyone with the same amount of passion held internally. She stood next to him now, quiet as always, glancing off, eyes tracking over the hordes of people, before falling back on the ground, bothered visibly, which couldn't be said the same for him.

He reached, touching her arm, skin soft, light brown even in the dim light, standing out per usual...Levi turned his head away, resisting a scoff, amused, thinking he'd fall all over her if he didn't collect himself. Zoe turned to him, eyebrows raising, biting her bottom lip, nervous as always, and he didn't want that. He'd like one day to sit down and pinpoint the time she'd began to mean so much to him, but he didn't have that liberty.

"Christa," Nick finally answered Eren, Hanji, and Mikasa's questions (to which he gave the result of his full attention), and Levi didn't know who she was. "That's who can tell you. So, there."

Hanji took a deep breath, restated, "This is true, Nick?"

"Yes."

"You realize the gravity of the situation; what information is to us. The only way we can gain an upper hand is to have the correct information, so please, please, Nick, on whatever remaining honor I assume you've lacked the past years, choose the correct path," Hanji said, a hand nudging up her glasses, other on her side, close to the hidden handles of her gear.

"I have, and my original statement is -and will hold this course, on all of my faith in order provided by the walls- Christa."

Zoe frowned as well, and Levi kept his eyes on the Pastor for now, listening to Eren and Mikasa make up their minds to go after her. Levi was useless, and he hated that, observing the smaller woman, the 3D movement gear clanking when she shifted, armed at least. She did have the added bonus of not being useless, despite the numerous time he'd told her that, which he did regret, but she'd never dwelled on his harsh words.

"Levi, do you know her?" she murmured, standing almost toe to toe with him.

"No," he said, thinking to add something mildly offensive in, to match character or get an elbow, but she was chewing on her bottom lip, a tic he was sure even she didn't realize. Still, it popped up every time she was faced with Titans or other stressing matters.

Levi let his hand brush by hers, felt her twitch, hand moving as well to try and intercept his. He allowed it, body turned to hide the moment from anyone but them, really, head tipping down, meeting her eyes. Remembered every promise he'd made, told her how he'd kill them all, and now he could hardly move. Desperately, he wanted to fight, to assure himself that he could protect her, and in that sense, everyone else here.

"Do you know what's going on?" she attempted, a short laugh breaking from her lips. "I'm so fucking useless, aren't I? Fat chance of me staying Lt. Commander, I'm not even with my fucking troops, because I-"

"You're not useless," Levi cut across her words. "Yea, you made a shit decision by choosing to come with us, directly against me telling you otherwise. But then, you do love to do the opposite of what I say, I mean, out of all the times to step out of line, you do that when it comes down to me."

"I did, didn't I?" Zoe gave a huff, lips tilting up. "And it's on purpose, sometimes."

"Ha fucking ha," His hand left hers, coming to touch under her chin, tilting it to the light. Levi thought briefly to himself, thinking he should've carried out his plan, with her, Isabel, Farlan, wished it had all gone correctly; but that Erwin and his fancy words, appealing to his sense of right and wrong. Chosen the Military Police for her, as another cushy option, mostly, because Erwin was right, he really was a romantic. Deep down. It was more like peeling an onion with him, and he had a very sure rate of affecting the person to the point of crying.

But she'd stuck with him. Didn't really know why, because Levi was fairly arrogant, and damn, she was far too good for him. And she would have died out with him in the Scout Regiment. Because she would've tried to protect him, though he did tell her now that he could handle that; she didn't listen.

* * *

"Hey," Levi said, "maybe I should bite myself, or something," he allowed his hand to travel along his teeth. "manifest as a titan. I'm sure I'd make a better Titan than that kid."

His hand dropped back against her, and she shook her head. Zoe laughed, smiled wide, cheekbones not as prominent, tipped her head away from him. Levi reached, turned her back to him, tugging her in for an impromptu kiss, and she hummed, hand playing up into his hair. He'd called out the Pastor on his refusal to take things at their worst, dressing everything up pretty.

And here was his fault, prettier and more distracting than ever, but he kept her next to him, watching her sling herself out of the cart near dawn, walk to her troops as they headed towards her previous location. Levi caught sight of Erwin, zipping up next to Pixis, sighing just slightly, moving his good leg about. His eyes went once to Pastor Nick across from him, before they fell on the Military Police, talking among themselves.

"Hey, Rivaille," one asked, fingers curling to a fist, all raring to go, it seemed, not even a decent fear for the creatures that tore away at everyone's well being; and he wanted to see one, like having a Titan here was something to look forward to. "where's our prey?"

"Oh? You guys look like you regret it's peaceful here, yea?" Levi turned slightly, elbow over the edge of the cart. "Sorry for not providing you with a hot Titan date. Well, you may be outta luck this time time around, but you know, there's always plenty of opportunities to go outside the walls on a scouting expedition." Levi saw Zoe turn, wondered if she was the reason they'd decided to come up to him. "so how about we all join forces and go fight Titans? You know, you and us, together, side by side?"

He wondered if he should chuckle for an added effect, head tipped still, watching their mutters. Numerous 'wells', along with, 'we have work', and a number of things 'suddenly' popped up now that an offer to go outside the wall was given. At least Zoe had the guts to go outside the wall, she'd have his respect for lasting out there.

A man ran from between buildings, turning everyone's head from the uncomfortable silence as he shouted, "The vanguard squad is back! Somebody, inform Commander Pixis! Or Roth! Or; Smith! Ach, I need-" the man set his hands on his knees, panted hard, catching his breath, "Someone in the Commander range!"

Attention was on Zoe now, and she sucked her teeth briefly, taking a running start before she was up in the air, zipping up the face of the wall. Levi cracked a smile that seemed more like grimace, and the action disappeared in an instant. He really had to remember that he wasn't entirely prepared for combat of any sorts, so locking down any extra emotes was once again at the forefront of his mind. Still, Zoe; he'd almost wish to talk about her more, excusing the few times he'd gotten drunk enough for Erwin to squeeze information out of him.

Which he did a lot. So, ignore the few times idea. Swore Erwin spiked his drink.

Erwin and Pixis were down in an instant, Zoe small at their side, and if people didn't move out of her way, he'd assume her to be another troop. When he'd first heard about her move up, he hadn't thought she could handle it, because Zoe hadn't been entirely good at commanding people. Then she'd forgotten about that fault where she had to please everyone, and had adopted a bit of arrogance he usually held.

"W-we found no abnormalities or breaches in the wall," the man from the vanguard squad was saying, kneeling in front of Pixis, mostly due to the speed at which he'd ran to bring his news.

"I see…" Pixis breathed. "I thought so."

"But the situation is grave anyway!" The man's voice rose. "When we were on our way back to Trost to deliver our report, we encountered the Scouting Legion forces, lead by Hanji! They had several new recruits from the former 104th trainee squad, not equipped with the 3D maneuvering gear, with them. Among those recruits, there were three who turned out to be titans!"

Zoe's hand hovered near her mouth, and she shifted slightly, brow furrowing. Levi remained impassive, down on the ground with everyone, gazing at the man, trying to tally the fact in his mind.

A recruit from the Scout REgiment burst from the crowd, shouting, "What the hell are you saying? There were more titans among them? Three, you say! Who?"

"Jean, wait," Erwin spoke, "What happened after their identities had been exposed?"

"The scouting Legion engaged the colossal Titan and the Armored Titan," the informant looked as if he was bordering on one of Zoe's panic attacks, "When we joined in the battle, it was already too late, and in the end-Eren Yeager was taken, along with another troop, Ymir, helped by Bertholdt- The colossal titan- who escaped on the Armored Titan's shoulder."

Zoe narrowed her eyes, "Is anyone after them? The girl, Mikasa, she's rather resourceful."

"No, when the Colossal Titan dropped, his manifest vanished, but for a long while, no one could get near, something- Eren's female friend was out, from what I knew, and his small male companion was unable to pursue. Hanji and the other superior officers were too heavily injured to follow after."

Pixis rose to his full height, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, that is a problem, isn't it?" The old man briefly looked at his boots, stepping forward with that frequently seen bounce. "And, it seems that, with the boy's useful edge, we have no other choice but to send a good amount of men after him. As well as, I'm sure, some of the ones who lost copious amount of fellows in the disaster the other two single-handedly brought around."

Erwin tipped his head to the side, and gave a brief nod. Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, stabbed her foot to the tiles, though the streets were in a sharp decline, as Trost District had hardly a month and a half of recovery. Levi remembered that she had, at least,a excelled above him in strategy, even if she didn't employ this ability well, with her nervous temperament, and severe disability in asserting herself well in a leadership position.

"Let's get horses on the fucking walls," she finally muttered, snapping to her men. "Let's move." When the MPs moved, he was surprised, not seeing a single drifter, or sighs, just obedience. Maybe because of her venture and loss behind the wall; which changed Eren, though the boy once had the air of holding to his beliefs and general attitude, with more solid will to not be swayed than Zoe's stubborn nature.

"Agreed," Erwin said, and everyone really kicked into movement, as Pixis seconded the both of them, his less superior troops still holding the prevalent numbers.

Carefully, horses and troops were arranged along the top of the wall. Pixis waved them off, his little area carefully protected, and Levi sat there, watching her leave him, close along side Erwin. The Garrison Commander plopped back down, and raised an empty bottle to his lips.

"I checked that already," Levi said.

Pixis clicked his tongue, let it drop back to the wall's surface. "Well. Quite a let down, though I suppose I'll do for conversation at the moment; that's your girl, or, and it sounds a tad better, paramour as Hanji has said in passing conversation," Pixis brushed his jacket off, mustache twitching,(fuckin' four-eyes, he thought, gritting his teeth as he listened), " isn't it? I remember the old days. But at least I have this lovely creature hovering over me," Pixis looked over to a squad leader, standing close. "Even if my alcohol does decrease sharply when she deems it necessary."

"I wouldn't exactly say 'my girl', but since I really don't feel like sitting back down in front of Pastor, and listen to nothing, I'll stay up here."

"Well, it's nice to have Rivaille close," Pixis said, once again using the title that'd came from something of a misnomer, but, fuck it.

He repaid that favor by using his common term for the Garrison Troop Commander, "Same to you, old man."

Levi's hand went to his pocket, dug out the locket she'd pressed into his hand last night, and Pixis spoke, "From the same girl?"

"Yes."

He squeezed the locket in his hand, tried to gain some strength from it, faith that she'd come back(though he usually took that into his own hands). Maybe all of them would, and there wouldn't be anymore of his 'demons' screaming in empty hallways. Ghosts, perhaps, he thought, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead, finger touching against another empty bottle, the glass making noise as he rocked it to and fro.

"I forgot, you're not really a talker. Even when it comes to her, hmm? And what now?" Pixis reached, found a bottle with a good amount left in it, staring down the neck of the bottle. "Thinking that she might never come back, and you'll only herald her ghost; as it is, this old man has found some release at the bottom of a bottle." Pixis began to tip the bottle to his lips, but not before the crows feet at the edges of his eyes indented, spoke, "It's hard to eat when you miss someone to such a wide extent."

Levi closed his eyes, more against the truth of the old man's words, and sighed deeply, heard an empty bottle clatter to the top of the wall. Wondered if the world had a future, concerning himself and Zoe. He still recalled the conversation about children, knew he shouldn't have let her talk, because when she did, Levi found himself lulled. In all honesty, he could see something after this with her. In a simple little house, with no fucking Military Police around, no Titans, enough food, just simplicity. And a large lack of humans, he wasn't looking to socialize, planned to practice with a gun to better fire off warning shots Zoe's father apparently used.

Frankly, the stories she told him about life on her farm were more emotionally scarring than a good amount of shit he was put through in the underground. Especially when she'd said her father would, what was it? Oh yea, kill the animals her and her brother (twin, he kept reminding himself, though Jaz was a opposite counterpart to her) would name. So, that was fun. His veiw of her family life was more dismal than his; maybe because he was able to pick his family. As well as never asserting ideals such as 'ladylike' on Isabel. No matter how much Zoe defended her mother and the reason she had attempted (and still did) to adhere to the rules laid out, Levi would never embrace the, 'my mother was a smart person; she did what she thought best', sentence Zoe trotted out.

But back to simplicity, and firing off warning shots; Levi did have doubts if he could do it, because there was a difference between imagining things, and actually participating in them. Would he turn out like one of those old veterans who'd leap at any chance to experience the adrenaline of battle again? The men who no longer saw the darkside, only felt that the grass was greener beyond the walls, than home. Maybe because some of them had forgotten the serious downfalls, and just wanted to do something.

A few hours later, a lone Military Police was riding back, hoping off horse back, as Pixis stood. "Commander Roth and Smith are beyond wall Rose."

"How big is the search party?"

"As many as we could mobilize; the clear evidence of skirmishing around the wall was glaringly obvious. Apparently, Eren had engaged with the colossal Titan more than we estimated," The MP said, hand fisting briefly at his side, brought around for an incomplete salute. "

He wondered what it all really meant? In broad strokes, he was going to apply the question, boil it down to, at least; why? And now, he wondered if he'd find some kind of closure. Find his dreams; find a way to answer the question.

* * *

_But please remember me, fondly; I heard from someone you're still pretty. And then they went on to say that the Pearly Gates had some eloquent graffiti. Like; 'We'll meet again' and 'Fuck the man' and 'Tell my mother not to worry'. And angels with their great handshakes, but always done in such a hurry._


	20. Flying Titans

_She was born to be the woman we could blame; make me a beast half as brave, I'd be the same. She was gone before i ever got to say, "lay here my love, you're the only shape i'll pray to."_

* * *

Levi tried a door, banging through a couple other before someone came out to stop him. Nule. Out of all people. It had to be that idiot. Military Police ontop of that , it was like they couldn't fucking win. He heralded the door the man came up with and stalked towards it, catching sight of her in the door way, lit by the early morning light. He'd found Erwin, and now he was going for her.

"Captain Levi-" Nule attempted.

"Hey, move out of my fucking way, I can still kick your ass if needed, I'm not that injured," Levi had him out of the way, but decided to add something for injury. "It'd take something crushing my entire body to not do damage to you. Military Police." he kept his sentences fairly clipped, and pulled his insults, here for Zoe, rather than an argument.

Nule crossed his arms over his chest, and opened his eyes, trying to find something to say, but Levi had snapped the door closed in the man's face before he could. He turned back, leg giving for just an instant, surprised to see her whole, compared to Erwin. Zoe shifted in the large bed, numerous pillows under her head, barely taking up space under the blankets. Levi dragged a chair with him, sitting close to her, knees knocking against the bed.

She smiled over at him, shifting her arm slowly to him. There were wraps up and down her arm, covering stitches. LEvi had been by while the carts rolled past, wondered how she'd gotten her arm so wrapped up in wires, but then another person passed like that, and he supposed it was a common thing. Another severe bruise to her leg, fractured lung, and something had gone wrong with her eye. As well as numerous body bruises, so bad she could hardly move.

"I can't fuck you, you know that," she mumbled.

"Shut up," he said, grabbing her hand a bit too tight and making her wince. "Why the hell did you go out there? You're worse than Erwin."

"mmm, I saved his life, Levi, you should be thanking me."

"His hand is off, Zoe, you can do better."

She raised her eyebrows, and he stood up, sitting on the edge of her bed. "What?"

"Let me see the damage."

"Levi-"

"Please."

Zoe gave him a long look, then sighed. She nudged at the covers and he tugged them back for her, eyeing the wrap on her chest, shorts at her slight hips, heart giving a jump when he saw her leg, wrapped tight in bandages. Levi wondered how many more leg injuries she could sustain. He let the blanket fall away, swallowing thickly, wanting to snap at her, do something to offset the fear that she wasn't going to be alright. A little whine emanated, and he looked to her, saw one of her cord marked hands, thought how lucky he was that she'd made it back with 40 out of the 100 that had originally made it. How lucky she was, and wondered when it was going to run out.

He sat back against the headboard, wanting to burrow close to her, but he'd hurt her if he did that. Levi was helpless in this region as well, and he didn't know what to do anymore, everything was going to shit, and he didn't want her to follow as well.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, then shook his head. "Fuck, you're not okay, but are you comfortable?"

"Sjeh is going to kill you when she finds you in here," she murmured, eyelids drooping, shifting closer to her missing blankets. "I'm fine, if you'll put my covers back over me."

"Shit, Zoe, you're going to kill me," he breathed, settling slowly where he was, drawing blankets back over them both, kicking his shoes off. "I swear, my heart's going to give, shiting Titans won't have a chance to eat and shit me out."

"They don't-"

"I know, Zoe, they don't do fucking squat with their...food."

"Is Erwin alright?" she asked, easing her head slowly onto his chest, wincing as she did, but she rested without movement when she found her place.

"Yea," Levi brushed a soft hand through her hair, making sure to barely put any pressure there. "he wanted me to check that you were alright."

"Is this you checking?"

"Yes."

Sjeh broke in at that moment, and Levi had to hold himself back from flinching, sincerely scared of the woman, mostly because she'd caused him a lot of pain the many times she'd looked over his legs. As well as cornering him once or twice; once he took his eyes off her, she moved faster than he did, it was ridiculous. She glared at him, and he glanced down at Zoe, eyebrows raising as he realized she was asleep, head tucked down slightly, a hand clutched in his shirt.

"Oh look," the stout woman snorted. "It's Rivaille." How many times did he have to hear that in the Capital?

He raised his eyes to the ceiling, mouthing around a sigh as she bustled around the room. Sjeh tapped Zoe awake, voice dropping to a considerably kinder tone as she coaxed the half-asleep woman to drink pain medicine. Zoe fell asleep as soon as her cheek rested back on him, and Levi looked to Sjeh, raising his eyebrows, as if to say he was winning whatever competition the woman was setting. Levi supposed the prize wavered around who made Zoe more 'comfortable'.

"Wipe that smirk off your face," Sjeh snapped, arranging more, softer looking as well, blankets around Zoe, fluffing the pillow, managing to bat his head as she moved. "You are the worst person to be in a relationship with. I'd prefer Erwin, or someone inside wall Sina, who she doesn't traipse about outside the wall with."

"Erwin," Levi stated, spread his hand briefly to the side. "Eyebrows. Blonde. Constipation. Lacking one arm at the moment."

"Yes."

"The Commander of the Scout Regiment; I wanted to double check that you know his title, yea? So, essentially, he's just a bad of choice as I am for her, I don't know what you're making your assumptions based on."

"At least he's proper tall," Sjeh said, didn't even try to hide her swing, batting him around the head with decidedly less comfortable pillow than any of the ones around him at the moment. "And a commander."

Levi raised his eyes to the ceiling again, but Sjeh invaded that safe space as well, eyebrows twisting up expressively as she glared down at him.

"I'm taller than her," Levi finally squawked, and Zoe twitched, making Sjeh freeze, midway through another pillow swing, and they waited for the minute it took for her to fall back asleep.

"You're smaller than me," Sjeh snapped, yanking the blankets back for a second, eyes flickering over Zoe's bandages, then her wrapped leg, ointment under them. "With you, she's gotten more bruises, and less sleep. Haven't even heard you say I love you, and the girl dotes on you like you're her horse; and you aren't even as tall as the horse, nor as smart."

"You're calling me her horse now, aren't you finished with the tirade?"

Sjeh's eyes widened, and she stared at him for a good second, then spoke slowly, "No, in fact, I am not."

"Look, you wanna hear it, or something?"

"What?"

"the love word."

"you can't even-"

"I love her. Is that good enough? Swear you're acting like her mother, or something."

"She's a female commander, I think Mary already did something wrong, personally, because the stress-" Sjeh stopped herself. "At least you love her. But you used to strut around after you were done with her like a- Shit, you're an arrogant little twerp," Sjeh swatted around his head, and Levi almost yelped, leaning away as far as he could instead.

She was halfway out the door when he decided to get in the last word, "Bad language, Sjeh, it's really coming down to it, isn't it?"

The woman's face screwed up, and she bounced Nule away with her hip, slamming the door after her. Levi shifted himself, saw Zoe's smile, knew she was awake, and murmured her name. Zoe cracked an eye open, smiled again, then curled herself close, body giving a short shake, before she slept properly, and Levi knew he should've checked. She was much craftier than he gave her credit for.

* * *

_It's all gonna shift, it's out of our hands. Baby if you could know, you would hatch a plan; that's my, that's my man. If we're gonna die, bury us alive, if they're searching for us they'll find us side by side; that's my, that's my man. This world is gonna burn, burn burn burn; as long as we're going down, Baby you should stick around. The earth breaks; it falls and save your beat. I'd find myself swallowed, drowning in your heat(..)_

* * *

Pixis opened the door for him, allowed him and Zoe to walk through, though she couldn't honestly walk at the moment, hefted in his arms instead, wincing everytime he moved. She held on a bit tighter, head tipped to his collarbone, resting safe as he set her down on the given chair, shifting slowly. Erwin gave her a slight smile, which she returned, though pain instantly twisted it down.

Levi hovered around her for a second, waiting for a nod, dragging up a less comfortable seat. The old man watched, lids drooped slightly, out of uniform like all of them, except his Garrison Troop, standing against the wall. Erwin took a large breath, lifting his chin, fixing his calm gaze on Zoe, and giving her a tiny smile.

"Thank you for sparing me any further harm."

"You were very inspiring," she said, lips crooking up in amusement. "But I decided that I didn't want to deal with your replacement."

"Of course, you received your injuries when the Titans began flying."

Zoe smiled wide then, thought it faded again when she moved. "I think Hanji might be amused. And, if we use the right tone, I think we could make her believe in flying Titans."

"Four-eyes can't see shit without her glasses, you could do it," Levi said, cozying up to her further, knew he was being maybe slightly pathetic, but he just

A beat of silence, and attention was shifted to the old man, Pixis's mustache giving a tell-tale twitch before he began,"It was only one week after the incident that the safety within wall Rose was confirmed. Well, truthfully; we had no choice but to declare Wall Rose safe within the week. We've already let the refugees return to the surface. and perhaps I should say it's fortunate that even amidst all the chaos, only one incident required MP intervention. When we tried to evict the illegal residents squatting in the city underground, there was a conflict with the stationary guard in one area," the old man broke off to nod at Zoe.

"Despite the fact we've abstained from the underground and normal criminal activity, we essentially had to stuff a good thousand men and women down there, as the Lords and Ladies had dug in their heels, are still aren't cooperating, refusing to let even a hundred common people sleep in their sprawling estates. They're taxing us now for lack of wildlife and trampled farms, so," Zoe said, sighing heavily, looking more worn than ever.

Pixis gave a nod, hailing the end of her sentence before he continued, "There were no deaths, but this incident had a huge impact within the wall. It was like hell had been unleashed for a moment. After seeing it for ourselves, we can be certain that one week after Wall Rose falls, people will begin to destroy one another over issues that seem so petty otherwise."

"I'm sorry, Erwin," Levi shifted, stabilizing his arm over the edge of the chair. "You'd finally recovered to the point of being able to talk. I'm sure hearing about this week is enough to make you want to take to being bed ridden again. As well as you, Zoe."

"No, I've had enough sleep," Erwin said, calm demeanor set as always, and Levi was reminded of Sjeh's word; proper. "Continue."

Levi missed a beat, his eyes at his Commander's missing arm. "It's too bad about your right arm."

He didn't know why the man was smiling, Erwin's eyes traveling over the area before he spoke again, "How many hundreds of people do you think I've fed to the Titans by now? One arm's hardly enough to make up for that. I'll pay off my debts in hell one day."

"Well said, Erwin," Pixis said. "will you let me join you in hell when that time comes?"

"What are you talking about, old man? Have you had enough too? It seems like you haven't had enough to drink yet."

Zoe lifted a hand, and brought it down over his stomach, pushing air up through his lungs. Still, he didn't back down from the slight name-calling he'd participated in, especially when Pixis' mustache gave a twitch in amusement at Zoe's abuse. She had more respect for the old man than he did, and quite frankly, she had respect for more people than he ever had.

"Indeed. I would like a drink now. but the alcohol's been confiscated. Somebody is determined to keep an eye on me until the bitter end." Pixis' eyes drifted to where his troop stood. The brunette let a little blush through, but didn't avert her gaze to them, just straightened further, though he'd thought that previously impossible.

Erwin gave a short laugh, "Looks like you have quite the exceptional subordinate."

Someone knocked at the door, and Levi didn't twitch, recognizing the borderline aggravating knock, "It's Hanji. Enter."

"Excuse me, Erwin," four-eyes said, easing the door open, saluting, "so you were here as well, Commander Pixis. Perfect timing. I'm here in regards to the investigative report for the incident. This is," she trailed off for the troop beside her to speak, giving a slight gesture to better indicate the smaller person.

"Connie Springer of the 104th training regiment!" he said, words crisp.

"His home town is the Ragako Village of interest. He joined my investigative squad due to his knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the incident."

"Connie; you've worked hard," Levi murmured, catching the boys eye for a second, knew what he'd see there; the look. A glimmer, maybe; flint now, unbroken by soft sentiments. The one Zoe had after her brother and sister in law didn't come back, had seen it in his own reflection, even, after his first expedition. Saw Isabel's head again, closed his eyes to it as he had hers before he'd gotten up, left them both there.

* * *

_| basically, I cut out the debrief insert, as it's a big ass info chunk, and if you're not to that, I'd still just; you know. Also, wasn't really important; more for me |_

* * *

Zoe flicked her hair off her shoulder, easing the bandage from her eye as Sjeh bustled in, quiet now. Levi watched her flush out Zoe's eyes out of the corner of his own, noticed the happy smile Sjeh gives her, the murmured assurance that 'it's going to be back in commission any day'. He almost smiled himself, despite the woman's presence, thinking that the day break between the recent debriefing and this was particularly nice. And he was in Erwin's room once again to give a more detailed answer to, "where is Eren?"

Levi shifted himself into a position that would make it harder for Zoe to hit him, though he was sure she could do it, and he'd let her because it was Zoe. "A little house out in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere. Where he is no doubt lumbering his ass around, spreading dirt. Do you know what he did to the landing floor of the castle, something I'd just swept?" Levi's gaze darkened, and he barely moved his lips, "he left muddy boot prints."

Erwin smiles again. "You really enjoy making him panic."

"Fault of mine."

"I can name a few more," Zoe said, and Levi scowled, heard Erwin chuckle into his hand.

He'd remind Erwin of his lack of arm (maybe sprinkle in something about constipation), but then, Zoe would hit him, so the movement had actually worked. Levi turned, took her hand to stop this, which had just recently healed itself, the slight offset sealing back over with Sjeh's practiced medicine. Also, general overbearing nature, general hovering that Zoe did to him once or twice before, and the ability to stand in a doorway(thus taking the place of the door) that kept Zoe in bed. But the muscle in her leg was still badly pulled, so, for now, Levi's and Zoe's to and from the house in the middle of nowhere was slower. The next day, he found Connie, roped him into doing that.

And he really wanted to catch Eren with the house slightly dirty; just to watch him squirm as he checked it over. Frankly, the kid should have things done; how much fucking time did he need? Eren had dealt with him for a month, as well as the constant cleaning checks that kept his Squad on their toes.

"Connie, if you wouldn't mind helping Zoe?" Levi asked, cutting over Zoe's attempt to say no.

The boy shifted quickly, just tall enough to be able to help her, not as strong as Levi was, so it was just leaning. Zoe was also trying to not put her weight on him, stammering over apologies as they went, and Levi dropped back briefly to Hanji, snapped out a couple orders on the back of 'four-eyes'. Said four-eyes rolled her normal ones, pushed her glasses up with barely a confirmation, to which he shrugged, gripped a rung on the cart, pulled himself up next to Zoe.

"Levi, you're so mean to Hanji," she sighed, her still bandaged wrist covered by his jacket as he slung it over her shoulders. Levi tugged his cravat out of place as they left Wall Sina, tucking it into place in her collar. She flicked her eyes to him, looking so fucking unamused that he almost kissed her, hiding his amusement with a stretch, and when his arms dropped, the cravat was flung in his face.

Nule (Nile, but Levi still purposely slapped a misnomer on the man, once hearing Zoe say it, and knew he'd won as Nule's eyes widened, all the attempted 'crackpots' finally dropping away as the name that bordered on Mule was passed around) had taken over Military Police command while she was still bed ridden, a large bag of Sjeh's medicine, along with very strict commands, next to him; Levi had actually been accosted in an alleyway by the woman, bringing up his own injury as she kept him from walking back out till he could repeat the proper way to administer the medicine.

"Four eyes talks too much," Levi said, sitting back down heavily beside her, shifting her hurt leg over one of his. "Just so you know, you're not getting out of the old woman's procedures."

"She's not that old, Levi."

"She hates me."

"I know."

Levi listened for something else before he sighed, let his head roll back, "You're not going to say shit else about it, are you?"

"I don't know what kind of support you want, Levi; I am but a poor guinea pig," she said, placing a hand to her chest.

He dipped in, but she laughed, ducking her head away. She'd been very self conscious with the eye thing, and Levi disliked that, knowing it was almost healed, and she should be alright. Also, he thought she was always beautiful, but he kept that close to his chest. And with the distance he was putting between him and Sjeh, he was fairly sure sex would be back on the menu. Sadly, the house was even less stable than the castle, so that was going to be an issue; because wooden walls were definitely paper compared to stone.

Briefly, he thought back to his old Squad, closed his eyes, remembering their collective chuckles when Zoe's mistake turned him into a temporary bird feeder. He'd let them have it, standing stock still while the birds pecked over seeds stuck on a sticky substance on his old cape. And she never did laundry again (a team effort), as well as Erd physically blocking her from cooking, looking desperate. He smiled over that enough for Auruo to take some notice, and Levi had turned into an exhibit as Hanji blew in out of nowhere, and stared at his face. Shitty four-eyes took fucking notes.

He opened his eyes, nodding with the memories, though they hurt.

Levi tucked her under his chin, being something of a back seat driver to Connie, but the kid listened. He eventually lost interest, happy that they were moving at a good rate, turning his attention back to Zoe. She looked up at him, raising her eyebrows, making a quiet little noise as he finally kissed her, arm sliding more secure around her back.

Slow and sweet; which was something he didn't attempt for, to be honest, but he wanted to make her smile. He felt the action against his lips, her hand slipping up to cup his face. The left one, with the bandage, he noticed, before he let his eyes droop half lidded, a hand smoothing up her good leg, just touching at the edge of her underwear. Thank fuck for her casual clothes, he really took them for granted at points. Zoe had his head in both hands now, tongue lashing against his, dissolving the slow and sweet part.

Levi curved forward, much more into this, her body warm against him, and he tugged her good hand down between them. Zoe pulled away slightly, biting her lip, the action not entirely meant to be a turn on, but it was fucking working for him. His eyes flicked towards Connie, but the cart was making enough noise to mask the sound of them.

He was close enough to whisper, arm tight around her waist, tugging her as close as he could get her, mumbling, "I bet I could get you off here," he turned his head, pushing it into her hair, "yea?"

"Levi. Later," all said very sternly; never worked.

she elbowed him, slapping his adventurous hand down and away. He caught that hand, lacing his fingers through hers, dropping to plant kisses over her collarbone, using his other hand to draw her knee up to his hip, the awkward space of the cart making it fairly difficult to get comfortable. Zoe gave hushed giggles, patting at him when he said something especially lewd in some disapproval, but he knew what to listen for.

He saw the house before she did, tipping away from her. Zoe looked surprised, but then glanced over her shoulder to where his new squad was, clustered in front of the large house, out in the middle of nowhere. Levi picked up the medicine bag before the cart came to a halt, easing off when it did, coaxing her after him. She did this very cautiously, but he caught her, ignoring the sharp stab of pain from his leg, dulled after weeks of rest. Hanji (&amp; co.)came in a good time after them, and his leg hurt a bit more.

Eren watched him while Levi placed Zoe in a chair close to him, sitting at the head, the rest falling over each other to sit at the table. Levi glanced around the room, mood souring when his hand passed under the table, feeling a bit of wet under it. He flicked his eyes from his hand to Eren, noticing the boy jolt, hand going to his face before draining of color.

"There should've been plenty of time," he said, back to looking at his hand. "Well, whatever; we'll return to the issue of your half-assed cleaning later. We're going to review the situation at hand and set some directions. A lot has happened during this short time, but our original objective has not changed. In other words, we'd do well to plug up Wall Maria. If that were to happen, then most other things wouldn't matter. EVen if the guy next to you were to turn into a titan. Even if a fur-covered Titan were to come at you throwing rocks. Or even if the inside of the walls were filled with titans." murmurs went around the table, but it didn't last long, because he started talking again, "Oi, Armin; you were saying if things went well, the wall could be plugged up quickly. Tell us about that again."

Levi had told Zoe about the blonde kid, bringing up his impressive strategic skill, even if he wasn't a skilled soldier like Mikasa. At least he wasn't as difficult to control as Eren was. Also, much smarter, so Levi had made sure to include him in his squad. Made sure to needle Erwin about the child's intelligence, but then, his arm had come off, and now Erwin used that a hell of alot more than Levi thought decent.

"Yes, the plan was to use the abilities of a titanized Eren to plug up the hole in the wall. The wall appears, somehow, to be made from the hardened bodies of Tians so if the mass of bodies necessary to plug the hole could be produced right at the scene. If such a thing were possible, there would be no need to continuously transport in large amounts of material by wagon like in previous plans. In other words, we could make plans to aim for the actual location, on a night where Titans were inactive because of the weather or what not. If it's just by horse, the road from Trost district to Shiganshina District could be traveled in a single night. If these ideals could be realized. The the time needed for a plan to take back wall Maria would be less than a day."

Zoe's eyebrows lifted, everyone's expression surprised in some degree. Except Levi's, because he had quizzed the small blonde till he'd gotten another glare from Mikasa; apparently she protected everyone now. And still would glare at him. Even if it was her fault he was grounded. He kept his eyes on Armin, waiting for the stretch of silence to pass.

"But as expected, now that I say it again, it sounds about as likely as catching clouds," Armin said.

"Whether those cloud can be turned into something all depends on this guy," Levi murmured, eyes going to Eren.

"Yes. Understood," Eren's voice quivered just slightly, but all in all, he sounded determined.

Levi turned in his chair to look at Hanji, "You heard him, Hanji. He wants to do it. So then, it falls to you to choose a suitable place for experimentation."

"Yes," Hanji said, eyes locking with his. "of course, so long as I live, that is my responsibility."

"Huh?" Levi's brow furrowed slightly.

"Currently, the Garrison is Patrolling the wall with a general mobilization. That requires an absurd amount of effort and personnel. To say the least of security loosening in the wall cities, at this, rate, they won't even be able to maintain the peace. That wall Maria must be retaken. I believe that more than ever before. I want to let everyone be at peace as soon as possible. I want to create a world where people can live without fighting amongst one another. Therefore, I don't want to lose anytime interesting Eren's power. Without reservations this time. Of course, we must experiment with the hardening ability, as well as the specifics of Titan transformation. There's also the amazing possibility that he might've been able to control other Titans. If that's really possible, then humanity just might be able to turn it's current situation around!" Hanji was staring down, tense where she sat. "Which is why I can't stand to sit like this! We have to move quickly. However. I want Eren to keep a low profile for a little while longer."

Eren made a surprised noise, and Armin jolted forward as well, saying, "But why is that?"

"Well,the situations is more complicated that we had thought," Hanji said.

"C'mon now. I'm sure that since you guys came here, waiting has been like struggling not to shit yourselves when it's on the verge of leaking out." Levi saw Zoe's huge eye roll, obviously not amused by the shit analogy. "You're even making those faces now. As to why you guys need to keep waiting to shit; Hanji, tell us why."

"Pastor Nick has died," Hanji said.

Levi and the others at the table made suprised noises, this news fresh to him as well. He could make a shit joke out of that as well, he'd keep that on the backburner. A last minute annoyance.

"This morning, within the grounds of Trost District military barracks, Pastor Nick was found dead. The cause of death is unknown, but he was killed. Finger nails ripped out, but they still claim robbery-murders. I managed to assign the blame, due to the two Central First Military Police Brigade soldier. Djer Sanes, the skin on his knuckles was torn. They tortured him, and killed him."

"Djer Sanes does not go down to Trost," Zoe murmured, stucking in a breath. "And you have to understand, Hanji, Levi, that I'm a figurehead, at points. And very much lacking hold on power, with my second in command position. Yes, I have complete control over my men on many terms, but there are many factors that influence them, and the orders they obey; as well as the Central first being under someone else's orders. Nule is in charge at the moment; and we all know how that works."

Family first, Levi thought, finger tracing a groove in the table. Admirable, maybe, but he'd never really want family to grow up in a corrupt world. Rather truth than comfort.

"Of course," Hanji nodded, "And I thought that the wall religion wouldn't just lead Nick be, after he had cooperated with the Survey Corps. Which is why I had concealed his true identity and had him placed within the military barracks; aided by Zoe, in some ways. To think that they'd kill him by using the Central Military Police. I was too naive. I have some responsibility in his death."

Quiet reigned for a good beat of time, and Levi picked up the cup in front of him, drinking quietly. He reached, stabbing his pinky into Zoe's tea, judging the temperature before pulling it over to him as well, draining it in quicktime. She waved the pot down to her end, turning to better block him from her tea, pouring it in. When the stream stopped, conversation resumed.

"Torture," Eren said, as if it was hard to believe. "The military police tortured Pastor Nick."

"Were they trying to find out how much he had said to us?" Armin asked.

Levi answered, "Indeed, they must have asked whether he had revealed the connection between the wall religion and the Reiss family. As well as the whereabouts of Eren and Historia."

Everyone took another beat, looking to the little blonde girl at the end of the table. Previously Christa, her true name had been revealed to be Historia, born out of wedlock to a powerful faction within the walls. Connections to royalty, and secrets were held close. She was useful, and so she was out here.

One of Hanji's men spoke, her Assistant Squad Leader, "of course, since the events of this morning, the situation has been shared with Commander Erwin, Commander Pixis, and now you, as well as the rest of the Survey Corps. So now, the Central Military Police is being monitored by us, so they shouldn't be able to move too recklessly. But looking at it another way, now they have any number of ways to find this place out, right? Now we don't know who is friend or foe anymore. When coming here today as well, we split up and made sure we weren't followed. I think this place hasn't been discovered yet."

Levi raised his eyes to Hanji, "So, have you been thinking about the preparations of Eren's experimentation, Hanji?"

"Yea," she responded. "As soon as Eren's Titan power became clear, "Something within central has been moving desperately to get its hands on Eren." Her eyes when briefly to Zoe. "However, after the disturbance this time, their sense of urgency has clearly changed. They've walked into previously entered Territory and though nothing of splitting the military into two camps. And more over, with everything within the wall unsettled, as well…. When you think about this situation, normally the comrades of "enemies from outside: like Reiner and the other were really always in Central this whole time. In other words, what we should really fear is a fatal stab in the back while we're busy looking beyond the wall."

"So?" Levi said. "Are you trying to say that we should just wait quietly and have a tea party, or something?"

"There are still many things you can do inside, sewing, and so forth. Please, just for now."

Sewing. He almost laughed at her.

"Just for now?" Levei repeated back. "That is mistake. It's the opposite. Do you think they'll just give up as time passes? They'll find this place eventually," and Zoe, fuck, fuck, he should've left her back, but still, it was as safe as she could get. "If we're just running away, the more time passes, the more we'll be driven to the wall. Hanji, You're usually quite sharp. However, after feeling responsible for Nick's Death, you've become a defeatist. How many of Nick's nails were torn?"

Hanji didn't seem to comprehend, brow tensing.

"How many?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said, "I could only see for an instant, but as fair as I could see, all of his fingernails were torn out."

Levi's eyebrow raised slightly, before he gaze down at the table, overcast, almost. "A guy that will talk, will just talk with one pulled out; but a guy that won't talk, will remain the same no matter how many are pulled out. Pastor Nick, I thought he was just an idiot, but he didn't deviate from what he believed in, even until the very end, yea?"

Four-eyes murmured something under her breath, eyes blocked by the light reflected in her glasses. Thus the term.

"If chances are high that Nick didn't spill, then perhaps that"something" from central hasn't taken notice that the Survey Corps is monitoring the Reiss family." He held up two fingers, "Well, as I see it, there are two ways to go now. Go out before we get stabbed in the back or go after eliminating the one that will stab us in the back." Levi looked to Hanji, saw her inability to make up her mind as he dropped both fingers. "Which will it be for you, Hanji? Go out before getting stabbed?"

Hanji's jaw clenched, the room deathly quiet, as no one seemed to be breathing, waiting for the deciding factor, in some parts. Her hands fisted once on the arms of the padded chair, and she looked up. Steel was back in her eyes, and Levi kept a bit of peripheral attention on Zoe, wondering what she would've said.

"Both," Hanji stated. "LEt's do both at the same time."

All eyes were on her, as Levi said, "That's what Erwin would say as well.

* * *

_Too much power ain't enough power; brain splattered like I've fallen off a Watchtower._


	21. Shadows

_Am I an honest man and true? Have I been good to you at all? Oh I'm so tired of playing these games. We'd just be running down, the same old lines, the same old stories of breathless trains and, worn down glories; houses burning, worlds that turn on their own_

* * *

Fairly nice smells wafted from the kitchen, and Levi gave a tiny sigh, scooping a bit more ointment into his hands, Zoe's skirts hiked up. Her eyes were half-lidded, watching him and his hands move, her bandages outside, near the outposts set in front of the house, and Jean had popped in a few minutes before to tell them they were almost dry, even though it was already dark.

"Thank you," she mumbled, lips barely moving.

"For what?"

"What do you think?"

Levi let a brief smile slip through, head tipped down, face shrouded, "You're welcome. And this keeps you far away from the kitchen, so."

"I can cook. You said I could."

"Yea, for a kiss, Zoe. You can't cook; haven't we established that?"

She pouted, the emote over exaggerated, but it was somewhat adorable. Still, the notion held; didn't matter how cute she'd get, she wasn't going to cute. Jean came in with the bandages, eyes going to her exposed legs for a beat longer than Levi thought necessary. The boy turned quickly, and ran back to the post, Zoe laughing, the sound hushed in her hand. Levi turned, grabbing the lid for the ointment, wiping off his hands before he screwed the cap on, rooting around for the next.

He applied it directly where Sjeh said he could, shiver threatening to rock his frame as he thought about her almost killing him the alleyway. But it was nice that someone cared for Zoe besides him; at least, someone with the same kind verve. Levi worked his hand around her ankle, wiping his hands off again before he wrapped the bandages around her leg, tight like Sjeh said. He stopped, remembering another addition to this, hand under her foot, pushing her through at least 10 leg movements. She bit the inside of her cheek, sighing in exhaustion as he finally wrapped the bandages around her leg again, standing and helping her to her feet.

"You okay?" He held her hand a bit tighter, watching her set her foot, putting weight on it.

"Yea. Just grateful I didn't get anything worse."

He remained quiet, supporting her as she rocked from foot to foot, barely any weight put on his. Zoe tucked a piece of her hair over her ear, buzzcut almost fully grown out. She'd recently had it cut so it was mildly proportional, cheekbones sharper, probably because of all the shit he'd recently put her through. Levi glanced out the window, catching the last rays of light, missing him somehow, alighting on her for the briefest moment.

It gave her a lovely black light, though the effect was more of a further confirmation that she resided in the light, while he dwelled here in the dark. The Underground had him here, even. Perhaps that was the idea the world was projecting onto him, as the shadows better cloaked him. Sad, maybe that he allowed it to fit over him, pulled them tight.

In that moment, she pulled him down, smiling at him, "Are you alright?" The light had caught, and her brown eyes turned gold, though that faded.

"Shit," he managed.

"What? Levi, you know how I feel about your poop analogies-"

He cut her off with a kiss, any kind of finesse disregarded, wishing he could pick her up, push her against the wall. She was forced back a couple steps, hand tight in his hair, other on his shoulder, sliding down to his hand. This house. Them. No one else around them, humanity at peace in victory, he could see that, accept it, knew he'd be able to put it into action, than keep this only a fantasy, something to comfort him, and not much. Desperately, he wanted to see that.

He pulled back, breathing heavy, feeling her sway, eyes still shut. "No more poop jokes."

"You're lying," she breathed.

"Yea."

He, knowing he couldn't calculate how this was all going to end up, and he was somewhat out of commission but fuck. Levi wanted one thing, and historically, he didn't get what he wanted by wishing, but that was as much as he could do right now. He'd like it to end up here, forgotten everywhere but in books, Zoe as well, even.

It was selfish. He'd lost a lot of friends, comrades, and he shouldn't be putting his faith in this future, because as he did, he became scared of it never becoming a reality. Levi had actually seen her before his brief stint in training (very brief), walking throughout the underground, taller brother at her side, trailing after her mother. Arguing, and she'd rolled her eyes off to the side, still sticking close to her mother.

His friend had raised an eyebrow, leaning over the surface he'd been on, LEvi couldn't really remember. Just the words, "There aren't any pretty girls down here."

Isabel, had glared, tossing her dull red hair, out of her face, unruly as always, hands on her hips for an instant, choosing in the next to lash out, whack the taller boy on his head, messing up the carefully arranged fringe. He'd interceded, eventually, let Farlan carry on.

Farlan ignored her for the most part despite the attack. "Nah, look at how pretty she is; clean. Gotta be from Wall Sina. Fuck, there was a noble girl down here, one time, remember? Adventuring."

"Then the Military Police popped in, and took her back."

"Of course, we can't have pretty people, or things around us, yea?"

In a sense, they were right. But he wasn't entirely immoral, fuck, and they were obviously here for a bit more cash than the government could dole out considering their goods. Levi heralded the statement as such; pretty things grew under light. Dead things came down here, and thrived in the cold darkness, and though they'd looked up, wondered where the birds went, they never went anywhere. Mostly because he wasn't assured of his and his friend's safety, and it was of considerable

"Morons," Levi had muttered, which usually got them to clam up for about a second, draw attention to getting back at him. He'd glanced at her once more, and when he'd seen her in training, he'd made the connection a few days after that, even among Farlan trying to be a tastemaker.

One day, he'd tell her. But if this was the last night? Somehow.

"I saw you once before training," he said, once again with the quiet, internal 'fuck it', "In the underground."

She didn't look surprised. "I know. I saw you too." A shrug followed, attention at his hair, twisting a lock around her finger till he touched her hand away, arranging it back in place.

He frowned. "Why didn't you say?"

"I barely recognized you. And then I forgot about it, to be honest. It's been some time between training, then, and now."

"Did you want to know anything about that time? Anything more? Preferably nothing personal, you always ask for a fucking memoir's worth." He was anxious. He'd never been anxious, really, confidence carrying him through.

Her finger touched in revealed space of his button down, shaking her head, "Yes. If you're comfortable enough, Levi; and you realize that memoirs are very necessary."

"Some other time, then."

She tipped up, butting her head underneath his chin, warm hand sliding slow under his shirt. His arm went around her waist, draping there, tired. Eren walked into view, and Levi looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Dinner's ready," Eren said, apron in his hand, food streaked.

"Hopefully, it's better than your cleaning."

After, he saw her walk outside, the darkness almost swallowing her up, but the moon was out in full force. As well as the stars. Levi slowed, tipping his chin to gaze up at the stars, just off the steps into the house. A slight noise drew his attention down, and he saw her sitting on large rock close to the porch. He moved towards her, sitting close to her, leg stretched out next to hers, other tucked up, allowing him for a better hold where he sat, and a load off her ankle.

"My dad used to have stories about them."

"What?" Levi asked.

"The stars. He had stories about the stars."

Levi had never really had any time for stories, up until now. "Yea?"

"My brother memorized them better than I did. But, I remember a couple. At least, the gist behind them. And you stole my book."

There was that. "To annoy you. But, it seems you didn't even need it."

She laughed, reached, shoved him over, but fell quiet, staring at the stars. They looked similar. Levi had heard Zoe prattling on about them maybe having their true properties revealed with some science, hadn't listened, mostly because it went over his head, and reminded him far too much of four-eyes. Maybe the last name association helped.

Said four-eyes trooped past, and Levi grabbed a stone, pulling back before tossing the pebble towards her head, speaking when he heard her yelp, "we're changing your last name legally when we get back, Hanji."

"You can't do that without paperwork, Levi," four-eyes snapped, though she'd caught the projectile before it hit her, rock hitting the ground. "And you hate paperwork."

"You think I won't do some to decrease your level of annoyance?" He patted around for more throwable objects. "It's either that, or-"

"Zoe's my middlename, you do know that?" Zoe asked from his side, hand under her chin. "No, I didn't tell you. Sorry, kind of goes over my own head."

He stared forward, hardly moving his lips when he spoke, "Are you saying that- What the fuck is your first name, Zoe?"

"Magdalena Zoe Roth," she said, ducking her head, chin to her chest, almost hiding her face from him. "I don't; look, I told people it was Zoe because it felt stronger than Magdalena. It was a chance to start fresh in the Cadet program, okay? And do you know how much my mother shouted that name; all the time," Zoe shifted to another pitch of voice, dropping a bit lower, petulance resonating as she recited," Magdalena, how many times did I tell you to clean this? Magdalena, did you read-finish the gardening?" Zoe returned to her normal voice, eyes still away from him "All that grated on my nerves, so. Only my brother used it, because he knew I liked it better. Also, everyone would eventually start calling me Mags without a second to stop and ask if I liked the nickname. And it's long winded. And only on really official documents do I have to print it. So, convenience."

He understood that. A hell of a lot of people went by their middle names, or some variation of nickname, maybe. It had to be a military thing. And mostly, it was just Hanji Zoe, and Zoe Roth, that got on his nerves; the former. FRankly, he'd seen a chance to fuck with four-eyes, so he would make an effort to bother Hanji if he could.

"Mags," he said, muffled a scoff in his hand. "Funny." He got a elbow, though he barely moved, hand half over his lips, catching her eyes, spoke around the obstacle, "Fine, I'll stick with Zoe. But when we have time, or space alone, maybe we can shift it back, huh?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "shitty four-eyes might still change her name, so hold out."

Hanji was squawking about him, but as usual, he tuned her out, easy as moving in his 3D movement gear. He did see her waving in his peripheral vision, but he turned further to Zoe. The last name to first name similarity had pissed him off to a damn good extent, and she hadn't said anything, because apparently, until now, informing him of her first name wasn't important.

* * *

_ Someday the waves will stop, every aching old machine will feel no pain. Someday we both will walk where a baby made tomorrow is again waking before you. I'm like the lord who sees his love though we don't know; seems like a long, long time since I've been above you seen and loved you soYou pick a place that's where I'll be, time like your cheek has turned for me._

* * *

Eren's Titan experiment had taken enough strength out of him, and he slept through the night. Late in the evening, they all went to bed, and Hanji sat over Eren while Levi walked quickly to bed, almost dragging Zoe after him, desperate to get away. Hanji had gone over the results ten times, and they were all tired. Also, repetition did not strike a good note with him.

"I think he's going to sleep through the day," Levi said, jerking off his boots, setting them neatly in the corner.

She gave a tiny sigh, letting herself down onto the bed, slow to take off her boots. Once her clothes were off, she slid on shorts before collapsing, head buried in her pillow. Levi eyed her before stepping forward, lighting the fire, the cold night air infiltrating their bedroom. He stood eventually, sliding in bed next to her, hand rubbing down her bare arm, letting his slip around her stomach.

Zoe shifted slightly, hand coming to rest over his, body curled, smaller now that she was asleep. Levi slept soon after, mind surprisingly vacant, waking up naturally in the morning, spending a good moment getting accustomed to being conscious. He let his hand trail soft over her back, down her spine, noticing the goosebumps left in his finger's wake.

His touches eventually woke her up, and she turned to face him, stretching with those little squeaks he found somewhat endearing, if not confusing. Zoe sat up, and he followed, arm slipping back around her waist, forehead to her shoulder blade. She looked over at him, and gave a slow smile, reading his expression perfectly, turning, and leaning in, his hand going to her cheek.

"You have to be quiet, you know?" He mumbled.

"I'm not good at that."

He completed the distance left between them, catching her lips in a fairly searing kiss, teeth dragging over her bottom lip. His nails dug into her skin, and he shifted himself over her, hips slotting between her legs, glancing between them before he engaged in the kiss again. Levi's hand smoothed up over her skin, rocking his hips down, grinding slow against her, keeping the pace even as the kiss became hungrier.

She pulled away with a fairly wet smack, breathing heavy. LEvi dropped his lips, and her hand twined in his hair, other hand dragging over his back. He gave a small shudder, pain lacing through him, a small groan breaking from his lips, and he halted his progress for an instant. Shit, this fucking reminded him that he was alive, he swore that was some of the allure.

Her hand slapped against the headboard, stopping her head from hitting it, their progress leaving tangled sheets at the foot of it. She gave a tiny laugh, though he was fairly concerned, and made an assumed little smile, dipping in, asking if she was fine. Zoe nodded, laughing again, then sobered, bringing him back in.

Levi's arm dropped under her back, arching her up as much as he could before he retracted his arm, distracted easily, his mouth trailing slowly over her breasts. Zoe's breath caught, and he pressed harder between her legs, disliking the fabric, four layers seeming like fortified barriers than cloth, distracted by her ridiculously responsive body, fire still going in the hearth, robbing oxygen from people who actually needed it.

And he didn't feel like getting up and opening the window, especially as she began undulating like that under him. Oh fuck all, she was just-

"I need," she attempted, then cut herself off, preferring the soft moans from before. Her jaw worked, arching as her toes curled, hips rolling up, friction attempting, it seemed, to put an end to any stamina he'd looked to hold.

Levi wanted to hear her ask for him, beg even, he wasn't picky at the moment, and he hadn't had sex in awhile, "Come on, Zoe. What do you need?"

Her hand fisted tight in his hair, and she shook her head, a hand flying out before she slapped it to rest on the bed, giving her traction. Zoe's legs wound around his waist, hips canting up. Fuck. His kisses were more bites now as he steadily moved down, teeth at her skin, back bowing out slightly, and LEvi brought his lips back to hers. Levi had to remind himself how to breathe, unable to take his hands off her for the moment needed to strip off his underwear.

His thumb smoothed slow over a blooming bruise on the rise of her breast, breathing ragged. The lull broke in an instant, and he gripped tight, hand sliding down her warm body, hitching her legs a bit better around him, allowing his nail to drag slow up as well. Zoe let her head tip back, lips moving soundlessly, and he placed his under her chin, nipping down, trailing wet there, hearing his name when she managed words.

Breath rattled fast in and out of her lungs, hands fumbling down over him. "Come on," she whispered. "Please, LEvi. For once, don't be an ass."

"Please what?" he asked, close to just shoving the notion of making her beg out the window and fucking over any thoughts of foreplay. "Besides, it is a full time occupation, Zoe." The squeak of annoyance was always worth the sentence.

Her repeat of please was rushed, garbled, but the rest, "I need it."

"What?" he asked, saw the flush of impatience spread through her, her legs tight around his waist.

"I need your dick, Levi."

"One more time, I'm not sure-"

"Your dick, your cock, Levi." Her eyes were narrowed, all fight. "whatever the hell you want to call it, just, fuck me." if this had been any other situation, she might've grabbed him by the collar and rattled him.

The corner of his mouth twitched, victory tangible. "Are you sure?"

"Fuck, yes, I can take it Levi, please. Stop being such a tease, and fucking fuck me," said the woman who routinely employed this tactic.

"Fuck," he said it outloud, hand shifting quick between her legs, two fingers slipping into her. "Yea? So fucking wet for me, Zoe,"

She hissed quiet, teeth clenched, his fingers moving fast over her clit, "Yes," her entire body was moving to increase pressure on her clit. "Fuck me into- " Zoe jolted, biting her lip hard, tremors rocking through her, totalling to one of the quickest orgasms he'd managed to get from her, high sob caught in her throat, his name following. "Levi; you promised, and I want it now." She tipped up, gripped the back of his neck to hold herself close and steady. "If you fucking tease me, I'll kill you," she said, even as her chest heaved, flushed with her recent orgasm.

Didn't mean anything, and he could probably stop her, but still; cautious. His hand moved slowly out from between her legs, her body going limp for a second when he eased back, one of her hands sliding through her hair to better arrange it. Fucking gorgeous, and she knew it, smirk curling her lips, a mirror of his, maybe, at another. He didn't give it another thought, taking only an instant to ease away and toss his underwear to the side, concentrating on them as he pushed slow into her. Her pupils were blown, the light brown just a halo of sorts, twisting under him to get closer, as if that was possible.

He loved her like this, knowing that he was the only one who could honestly give her what she needed, broken words barely getting the request across, but she wanted him; no one else. The tight little body under him; All for him, and he was so goddamn selfish, refusing, more to himself, to let anyone else have her. Something of an ego, maybe, within that, but fuck, fuck, fuck.

Her hand fumbled at the back of his neck, yanking him down for a hard kiss. Levi pulled away to catch his breath, shifting, pressing open mouthed kisses over her collarbone, stalling once more as he felt her flutter around him, breathing deep. He moved, keeping a steady pace, watching her face, making sure she was in a good place, before he actually put his mind to meeting her request.

. Maybe he'd ask her one day, with the orphanage better known as a warfront gone from everything but nightmares, if she'd allow him to commit his life to hers, but he couldn't stand tether himself further to her. So for now, he was going to do something he honestly knew how to do.

He could make a fucking presentation considering her, how if you slid your finger slow like that over her hipbone, tip in for a bit of nail, she'd almost buckle if you had her in the right position. And there was a pretty mark on her back, though she told him it was a burn from a mishap in reading, and he'd mouthed over it once, gotten the prettiest shudder. Later, she asked him what he did, and he laughed, thinking it impossible to know her body better than her.

But he did.

Levi's kisses compared to his current pace were exceedingly slow, a bit less finesse, sloppy, even, her sweaty skin familiar. He let his finger drag over her hip bone, and her back arched, legs tightening over his waist, head tossed back. Levi let his hands join hers, fisted in the sheets, wanting to get her through one more orgasm, the noises she made blurred as he recited a well known mantra(centered around letting her finish first, please her) in his head.

So fucking tight, fuck him, he was so fucking lucky. And he didn't deserve her, but fuck, at least he was giving back. She went pliant, that gorgeous, flushed and sated look straining his self-control. Zoe pressed her head into the crook of her elbow, pushed to meet him, her toes curling, one of her legs bending with it, folding under him finally. He came as she did, body curved over hers, keeping it slow, just rocking there as they both took time to breathe. She drew her nail down his back, a lazy pattern appearing. Levi allowed himself to give for a second, forehead on her collarbone.

"you like this house?" he asked.

"Why?"

Levi readjusted, his face tucked to her neck, breathing her in, "If...the world stops being shitty. This would be nice, right?"

"Are you promising me the world, right now, LEvi?" she asked, amusement coloring her voice.

"The world…" he opened his eyes. "yea." because right now, that's all he wanted, this little world that he could lose himself in, here, between them, didn't fucking matter, this was what he wanted, if it all went to shit, he'd run to her first.

"Okay, I'd prefer that version of my future, anyways. At least I know it'll be distrubingly clean," she said, laughing at herself, and he shook his head. "Let me open the window," she mumbled, waiting for him to sit back, watching her as picked her way through the discarded clothing on the floor

Along with the burn mark, she had numerous, pale scratches, darker ones, and he saw the one on her leg, jagged, almost like lightening. There were dimples on her lower back, moving with her. She opened the window, cool air sweeping into the room, the fire jumping.

"Bath?"

After that, Levi briefly stopped by Eren's bed, made sure he wasn't needed, and informed them of where he was going. Levi saddled his horse next to her, hitching a food and water filled saddle bag there as well before swinging up. Zoe bounced on a foot, then used the momentum to get her up on horseback as well, catching his eye, smiling.

"What?"

"Still reeling from the Magdalena reveal."

"It was a clean slate idea, Levi."

"I thought you said your brother used it."

"Fine; it was a somewhat clean slate. A happy, somewhat clean one, and three letter to a name; that's easy to sign."

"So it's laziness."

"Says the man who wears a cravat almost everywhere."

"that has nothing to do with laziness."

"I know, I was just using that to switch topic to your general neurotic behavior surrounding the cravat. Specifically, the hours you spent teaching me how to properly tie yours." She glared, eyeing him. "You brought out fucking diagrams and used, who was it back then?...Oh, yea; Geo as a mannequin."

"He'd be more useful as that, he still tracks mud everywhere inside that Inn he's managing. Worse than Eren and his half-assed cleaning."

They rode side by side, taking a path up a mountain, slowing to walk, ducking under branches. Levi didn't talk about anything serious, preferring to talk about something other than the present, focus on the future for a bit. He kept his eyes on her, wanted to tell her everything, but everything just seemed dumb. It wouldn't get anywhere, didn't know. Levi couldn't predict the outcomes, he really couldn't, no matter how much he wanted. They were ordinary people, for the most part, and he knew how sheer will couldn't change the most drastic situations. Because, if he couldn't he'd stop the Titan from crushing Isabel, and eating Farlan.

Levi caught sight of a deer, pointed for her benefit. Zoe looked, watching the doe graze, though they moved out of range. There was a clearing, not steep, near the top, and they took the break there, surmising that it was some time around lunch. He set out the food, horses close, Zoe opening a book, sitting next to him, sharing the silence.

She fell asleep for a time, and so he took up watch, back against a tree, his head on her chest, a remedy for the pain and stress. Erwin had once prodded him for information on their relationship, mostly when his tongue was loosened by drinking, because his Commander was nosy. Probably the reason he was so well informed.

Levi stuck with her because she wasn't afraid of him. Not that there weren't other people that sympathized along those lines, but Zoe. Zoe could corner him, as flighty and wordless as he was, wrest intimate details from him. She uncovered the things he'd bury deep to resist feeling them, events he'd never forget, ones that would rattle her, even, pushing them away to hold onto an emotionless mask, the monotone coming along with it. All that...forcing him to be a human for once.

_though one man had hardly appreciated that sentiment, supported the second school of thought. Levi was his pride._

Late in the afternoon they returned, and Levi promised her the world again.

* * *

Levi looked for her, swore she'd been right behind him, tipping finally as the inevitable realization swept through him and the others behind him, stared at the house, eyes wide, just as the group made it to where he was standing. Armin noticed her absence next, then the rest of the group did, mutters rippling, quiet, between them. He heard the scream, knew it was hers, mind running over the scenarios, knew he wasn't in condition to save her, put faith in the fact that she could talk circles around people, fight, and her position in the Military Police.

They were going to bulldoze through his family without care. Levi didn't really know who 'they' were, why 'they' had put his previous squad in danger. and a litany of other 'why?' towards fatalities.

Whoever they were, they'd grossly underestimated him.

He removed his gaze from the torch lit figures, demeanor apathetic, adjusting the weapon slung over his shoulder, pointed the group towards the nearest town, ignoring the shared desire to go back, save her. Besides, he wasn't entirely sure that she hadn't stayed back on purpose, maybe to buy them more time,_ reckless_ as usual. For the greater good, same as what Erwin would preach from his soapbox. He'd get her back, by himself, so no one could see the way he'd deal with 'them', a viable threat to humanity, no longer 13 meters.

* * *

_I would've put tints on my windows, but what's the difference? if i feel like a ghost (no Swayze) ever since i lost my baby. I've had this black suit on, roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral; one more mile till the road runs out. I'm about to drive in the ocean, try to swim from something bigger than me._


	22. BlueJay

_Well I've been twisting to the sun and the moon, I needed to replace. The fountain in the front yard is rusted out. All my love was down, in a frozen ground. __There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed. He is dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss…. Whatever could it be, that has brought me to this loss?_

* * *

She'd turned back when she saw a flash, figures dancing between the trees, suited to the lack of light that was hindering them all. Armin had fallen three times so far, causing Levi to progressively go from monotone to angry-ish monotone. A terrible way to describe it, yes, but she hadn't seen his shoulders untense since he'd opened the letter Erwin sent, hurrying them along with his cryptic response to 'should we go?'.

Zoe conceded that, yes, half her driving force in turning around to face the threat did revolve around the fact that Levi, while still dangerous, was injured. She'd been up and about for 3 days, so, maybe the frequency of the injuries concerning tendons was decreasing her recovery time.

She could go; she could fight.

And she loved him. Didn't honestly know how, those three words, hardly heard, hardly defined and left to be abstract, applied to this situation. But she did love him.

She ducked to meet the first, strides behind Levi's group, one of the first to branch off from the house, clueing in on the retreating figures. Zoe considered the idea that she was making up for her inability to turn back and help the Special Tactile Squad, and clung onto that, hoping it made up for her very obvious reckless behavior. Fighting these men made her realize that she was better at combating humans than Titans, and despite her attachment to the Military Police, with their distance from the other branches of the military, she was ruffled.

Zoe batted away an attempted punch, managing to ram her elbow into her attacker's solar plexus, dropping him in the next move. Her leg was almost fully operational, and her well executed, well trained movements packed power, allowing her to deal with the first five men with relative ease. As she went closer to the house, she began to realize the gravity of her current situation, and quailed, freezing for a second.

There were 20 men still clustered around the cabin, torches reflecting their shadows, the weapons a few of them carried. If the effect was sharp enough, she could see their mouths move, the subtle shifts in their stance. When they finally turned to her, their shadows jumped and leapt, tempting her to turn, run from them (pathetic), one regarding her almost quizzically, head cocked, a crooked smile in place of a sneer.

She drew her handles from their place under her jacket, hesitating as she brought them to the blades still at her side, in their compartments. The gear wasn't to combat humans, was it? Zoe clenched her teeth, brought the blades out before her, fist on top of the other, flat out to either side. The torch caught on the special metal, and she wondered if the blades wouldn't corrode as fast as they did when they sliced through human flesh, rather than Titan.

They didn't.

And humans were easier to cut through. What a cold term, 'human'. As if she was anything but.

Blood splashed warm on her skin, and she made to wipe it away, but her hand didn't help anything, smearing more over her cheek. She prepared to drop blades, make for a new pair, the twenty men down to an easy seven, crooked smile man still very much present. Zoe hated that look, allowed it to break her concentration, because she wanted him to take her seriously, or she'd cut that smirk off his face; then Nathan's. Make it a fucking matching set.

She careened forward, swung her blades into the paunchy man in front of crooked smile. The dull blades stuck, and she couldn't yank them out. Crooked smile reached, pushed the man forward, toppling her, the dead weight pressing her into the cool, damp soil, a soft mixture that slid under her boots. Her efforts were getting her no where, and the leader, she was sure crooked smile was the leader, stepped closer.

Adrenaline granted her new strength, and she managed to wriggle from under the dead man. Zoe crawled back, not standing fast enough, as the soil gave again, and crooked smile stepped in, large hand stretched, heading for her face. The smile got larger, just before he clapped his hand over her eyes. She screamed, noise rattling through her lungs. Her next breath taken did ease the pain, clear some of the panic that spilled over, threatening any dignity she tried to hold close.

Black closed over her, as she pressed her mouth into a tight line, relaxing her body in the hopes to put him off. A disapproving noise came from her assailant, and a warm cloth was cupped over her nose and mouth. She breathed in the smell.

Breathed out.

* * *

__Set the cheetahs on the loose, there's a thief out on the move, underneath our legion's view; They have taken Cleopatra. Run run run, come back for my glory . Bring her back to me.. Run run run the crown of our pharaoh. The throne of our queen is empty. And we'll run to the future, shining like diamonds in a rocky world; A rocky, rocky world. (..) The jewel of Africa; What good is a jewel that ain't still precious? How could you run off on me? How could you run off on us? You feel like God inside that gold.__

* * *

Everything was quiet, except a steady, drip, drip, drip, from a mystery water source, seeming to remain in the same parameters even as her head wagged to and fro, trying to dispell the noise, all a bit too steady, she couldn't stand it. Zoe was slumped over, arms bound to the chair, breathing joining the drip, drip, ragged now, jaw clenched to fend off chattering teeth. She had no idea where she was, or what had happened, she was just in the cloying darkness despite her eyes being open, trying not to panic. It was fucking cold, and her nervous sweating before this wasn't making the new temperature any better.

The lights came on. She gave a sharp cry, closing her eyes tight, shuddering, distracted from the noise of footsteps until they were right beside her. Zoe turned, looked up at Nathan, his red hair and pale complexion giving him away; she didn't even have to see his entire face. Confusion was added to the pain behind her eyes, wondering why the man wasn't even greeting her with that common scan up and down, a smirk, or a too tight handshake. There wasn't a flash of recognition in his eyes, and her fear spiked, any hope that he was here to save her dissolving.

He undid her bonds, and Zoe jolted forward in an effort to get past him, out the open door, caught instantly, Nathan's cruelty unexpectedly on her now. She hit the floor, and his boot slammed against her side, tossing her small body against the side wall. Zoe coughed, hands shielding her face, pain roiling through her in shudders. Nathan dipped, grasping her wrists, dragging her with him.

She sagged, fighting against his pull, but he grasped both her wrists in one hand, hand swinging to her stomach, forcing air out. It went next to her hair, and forced her to stand, walking close to him. Zoe saw Jay next, but his eyes held the same lack of recognition, the slim built man opening the door, the area there warm, with soft rugs, and settees that looked too inviting.

"Captain Ackerman," Nathan said, hand still in her hair.

A tall, thin man stood from a padded chair, spreading long arms, and Zoe wondered where she'd seen him before. She swayed when she recognized the man who'd captured her, that crooked smile still in place, and almost fell, but the grip in her hair convinced her otherwise. Captain Ackerman tutted at this sight, waving a hand carelessly, and Nathan removed his, stepping back into the shadows, door closing quietly.

"You know Levi Ackerman?" he put a comforting hand on her back, guided her forward, gesture grand as he showed her a chair.

She hesitated.

"Come now, lovely," Captain Ackerman was on a knee next to her, eyebrows screwed up. "That boy is my pride. I don't want to hurt him. And you don't want to have some of your torture methods applied to you? Hmm?"

Zoe swallowed thickly, stared straight ahead. He stood fluidly, leaning over the back of her chair, long fingers tracking down a path left by her tears, a low humm making her cower, curling into herself. Another track soon came into existence, and his fingers were wet, tapping at her nose. She winced, leaning away, but his fingers were harsher, tight at her neck.

"Tell me."

She shook her head, gasping for air as she strained against his hold.

He took his hand away, gave her another smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Oh well. Shame. I don't like to crush flowers, but I suppose, pulling off the petals will make the job easier." Nathan had her then, dragging her from the warm room. "Nothing too scarring, John, I still want her pretty."

Zoe's confusion invaded, wondered why he was calling Nathan 'John', and why Nathan didn't look happy with the non-violent route, asking,"Sir?"

"No nails, or teeth. And she has to be fairly operational."

Nathan's mouth twisted down, but a salute was forthcoming. She was ripped from the warm room, shoved back into the cold room, no matter her protests, Nathan able to grab her and rattle her, just like Lucas had. And she'd worked so fucking hard to fight as well as the larger men could, so they couldn't trap her against walls, so Levi wouldn't save her.

Zoe squirmed as soon as the shakes stopped, managing to knee Nathan in the groin, shoving him back into the other wall of the corridor. He hit the back of his head, sinking down slowly, a hand to his wound already in place. She ran, unsure where she was going, but she heard Jay's shout, knew he was coming for her, running as fast as she was.

Faster, actually, and she'd never been in the opposing position to Jay, first in class, the cadet year before her. It was terrifying. He was strong, tall, his hair falling into his face, brow dark, the brown of his irises black in the dim light. When she looked back, his gaze was locked onto her, unwavering as he gained on her.

He reached her.

* * *

| **late 845** |

* * *

"I hate this, Jay," she whispered, neutral green hoodie falling further into her eyes, melting in with the underbrush.

Jay gave a shrug, eyes lowered as well, shadowed by his hood. He stabbed his knife into the ground, lifting it, bringing it back down into the same place over and over again. His eyes kept the same mark in sight, knicking his hand, blood spattering onto the dark soil, glistening briefly before absorbed.

They were in the backcountry, some territory in the mountainous region behind wall Rose. Some political fugitive had hidden himself well; just not good enough for common folk under the government's thumb to be rendered unable to recognize the man, and report back. So here Zoe and Jay were, sent off by the hearsay in a report. The report had said there would be exactly eight people in the windowless cabin. One of them was important, and wasn't to be killed by the two of them.

Trees shaded their persons, hunkered down in the bushes, trying not to let morality steer them from their course of murdering whoever was in the meeting that was scheduled at this time, on Thursday. It was like they wanted to get caught.

Zoe rose, back bent to maintain a lack of visibility, creeping along the tree line, closer towards the cabin. Laughter filtered out, and her hand began to shake, watching the sun go down painfully slow. She wanted to grab it, drag it under the horizon, or at least tip it the slight bit needed to make it dark, and easy.

"Fuck it, do it now, I don't give a shit," she said, drawing a slim blade from her knee high boots, mostly as a test. It was a nervous tick, too. She didn't have time to list her issues.

The government wanted this bloody, a spectacle, so when the bodies were found, because the stink finally reached the nearby village, fear was inspired. Enough to ward off further rebellion, at least. Jay seemed to find neutral ground she didn't manage well, stalking ahead of her, but still allowing her to take the lead, instruct his every move. She had obedience, but her talents, and pride in those talents, didn't lead to the subservience Jay had. Besides, what would Levi say if he saw her taking orders like a dog?

Jay lifted his hand to knock, squeezing his cut palm shut, though blood dripped steadily down his arm. Veins stood out in the strong column of his neck, jaw working under his skin. She didn't have to look to know he was on the balls of his feet, ready to pounce at any threat shown.

Zoe smiled when the door was opened, slipping her hood back from her face. The man looked her up and down, returned a more wary smile, keeping his place in the doorway, blocking their entrance. Jay was at her side, dripping blood from the cut in his hand, giving her an excellent excuse as to _why_ they had to come in, and why they had to sit down. For Jay's health. Not that Jay cared about that at the moment, as nervous as her, when considering the consequences of not getting the job done.

She didn't know why she was stringing these men along, lulling them into false complacency. It was to pinpoint the ringleader, but couldn't she do that by smashing bottles over heads? Zoe loved the way their mood could shift as soon as she mentioned the Military Police. As soon as they heard that, they knew how much trouble they were in.

One tried for the door, but Jay was there in a flash, veritably clotheslining him, bringing a booted foot down hard, had the man coughing up blood in the next second. Jay bent, grabbed the rotund man's collar, dragging him across the floor before flinging him on the table. Drinks clattered to the floor, onto the other fat men's laps, staining rumpled white shirts.

Scrambles to wipe themselves down occurred, before the more serious issue of defending themselves was handled. Not that it was handled well, as one charged towards Jay, attempting to get past him. Jay's eyes widened before he simply let the man bounce off his chest, remaining unmoving as the man shouted desperate curses at him, just staring down. Zoe hid her smile in her hand, still sitting near the head of the table, wondering, like Jay was, if that was someone who truly had enough intelligence to survive as he clearly had. But political exiles did grow fat and lazy; example, everyone at this small cabin meeting.

"Stop running around, please," Jay snapped, head jerking to the side, focusing on the man. "Your rotundity."

The taller fat man gaped like a fish, falling back on his bum, and Zoe laughed, hand slapping down on the table before she pointed at Jay, "That was a joke; a good one."

"I'm not that serious, Commander Roth."

She cringed at the mistake, "Put the Lt. before that, as that's all I'll ever be. Also, I'm not a Commander in any sense. Hardly a Captain."

Jay didn't respond, dragging a side table into place before the door, making sure to appropriately block it. Honestly, it didn't look like any of the eight here had enough upper body muscles to handle that undertaking, so they were safe. Also, no windows were in place, which was a nice touch, and made their work, much, much more easy.

"So which one of you is the least important?" She asked.

Not that she didn't have the information; there was only one man here who had information of benefit to the Central government, and now, she was pitting them against each other, in the hopes to produce a better result. They pointed, after a bit of Jay glowering, to what looked like the youngest in their group, the balding man immediately hurling insults their way. Like everything in politics, the men went back and forth without making a real decision, ending up red faced and more uncomfortable than they were before, packed next to each other in their ties like peas in a pod.

She nodded at Jay, and he stepped forward, grabbing the least important one. Jay grappled with him for an instant, allowing the man to slip his bonds, dashing for the clearly blocked door. Zoe didn't turn to watch him slit the man's throat, heard the gurgle, saw the terror in the men's face. Blinking lazily, she hid a yawn in her hand; she didn't feel sorry for them, because these men had been among the ones that lined their coat pockets while they argued in the warmth of their halls, while the workers froze outside, waiting for their seemingly simple decision. Her father had been one of those disgruntled workers. A farmer, to be specific, but she wasn't here to find old memories, and turn them into feelings.

Zoe pointed to Jay's general direction, murmured, "See that? If you are not useful to us, that's going to happen to you. I can narrow it down as we go."

The fire burning in the hearth reflected off the growing pool of blood. Humans did have a surprising amount of blood in them; she was going to take it as dispassionately as possible at the moment. At the start, she'd balked at this kind of thing, even had taken to crying over it at night in the privacy of her room. She remembered her then roommate, killed a month later during a riot in Rose, telling her to suck it up, muttering about annoying pretty girls.

Zoe hadn't had a roommate since she'd been promoted, and preferred to keep it that way. She was good at _something_, finally, made _someone_ happy with her results, even if she felt rotten inside when she had blood all over her hands, speckled over her uniform. Making to wipe a dot of blood off the military police emblem on her jacket, she smeared more over it. A sigh escaped her, as her adrenaline diffused, letting her eyes drift over the seven very dead men, so recently alive. The important one was staring at his fellow parasites, eyes wide, though he didn't seem to appreciate being alive in the slightest. Not even a thank you offered; so rude.

"Are we going to set them around the table?" Jay asked, boots splashing in blood as he made his way towards her. He was soaked in red. "It might make a better statement."

"Yea, let's go with that," she said, brushing their table off, before arranging the seats.

Improvised torture implements fell, pulled off fingernails following suit. She wasn't a fan of the screaming, so she'd done that to only one of them, because of his annoying efforts towards escaping. Zoe wondered she would've done in 841, when faced with this. Her lofty views had fallen to the ground, trodden underfoot by the ones she'd murdered.

She aided Jay in dragging the men to their seats, all of them dead weight in every sense. Zoe finally moved the table away from the door, led their prisoner outside, waiting for Jay to bring their horses back from the woods. By the time he arrived, the moon had set itself high in the sky, and she lifted her face to the silvery light, a shaky breath leaving her. She'd come down too soon from the high of killing people, and now her limbs threatened to shake, even in saddle.

The central military police were waiting in their specified location, the tip of a cigar lighting one of their faces. She hoped that was the reason why she was finding it harder to breath, hoping her morals wouldn't come back now, of all times. Zoe didn't need to question authority, or her own actions, because she'd answered her doubts before; everyone was a killer once pushed to their limits. Why would anyone have the audacity to judge her with that solemn reality?

She watched the moon and stars pass by on her way back to the Office, Jay at her side, clothes stiff with blood. Jay took his shirt off as soon as he could, standing at her side as the night shift government personnel handled their laundry. While the woman who worked during the day was normally smiling and talking to whoever came with in two feet of her, the man here looked like he handled a morgue.

"He looks like he's an undertaker by day," she said, climbing the stairs in front of him to the second floor of rooms, all a thousand times nicer than the barracks under them.

Jay's lips attempted a smile, but failed, "Yes."

"I know it's a bad attempt at humour."

"Commander," Jay began, stalling their progress as she turned to correct him, but he put up a hand to stop her, "I'd rather follow you than Nile Dok any day. I think you would suit the position, at some point. But if you prefer the title; I enjoy working with you, Captain."

"Thank you."

She'd had a bad dream last night. She was trapped here, in the Military Police, not finding anything better, becoming stagnant. Levi hadn't come for her anymore. And she was scared of that, in a way. But now she was asking herself, was that really such a bad thing?

"Goodnight, then," Jay murmured, his door closer to their stairwell than hers.

"Jay," her voice stopped his progress into his room.

"Yes?"

"Are we clones? Same as everyone else? Like Nathan."

Jay shrugged. "I don't think Nathan would ask things like that. I think we can make decisions for ourselves."

"We haven't in a while."

* * *

_I had a dream; I had a dream I was flying over all of us. There were so many pretty people, so many pretty faces. I talked to some birds. I fell in love again. And none of this ever ended. Everything just kept going, and going and going. And even when you laughed, when you cried, and even when you were sad; you were really happy. Because you were here. And I got to meet every star, every planet. Everything that made me._


	23. Passing By

_Let me know...Do I still got time to grow? Things ain't always set in stone. That being known, let me know, Let me-(know)_

* * *

Levi watched the lantern in front of him flicker, finger tapping slow on the wax stained table. His back was bowed, head propped up with one of his hands, running through a mental list of torture methods. Hanji sat down across from him, but he didn't acknowledge her, occupied enough with his conflicting interests. How he was putting humanity above Zoe, which was such a nice, nice thought, but he was placing his humanity subjacent to the overwhelming cause, as well. He thought that, in his position, Zoe would keep trudging through.

"So what are you going to do?"

Levi let his lip curl, a fairly normal reaction to Hanji talking, snapping a quick, "What?" back, just to satisfy four-eyes.

"About Zoe."

"Nothing."

"I swear, Levi. Are you human?"

"That's a silly question. Yes. Of course I am."

"Really?"

"Being with her was selfish in the first place. Involving myself, and therefore endangering her, was my mistake."

"Is she paying for it now? Or are you?

She was.

Levi waved her question away, saying, "I don't even know if she's alive."

Hanji gave a scoff, removing her glasses to give him a pointed look. "You know the answer to that."

She was alive.

Levi hated when four-eyes was right, as much hearing her call him 'little' in general. She had her value on the battlefield, but he thought she pried into his personality and background too much; he'd known her for maybe 5 years, which still didn't give her the right to ask about Zoe. He watched the squad leader clean her glasses, his nail digging into a smooth, hard, cold piece of wax by the sentient candle. Hanji stood after a few more silent minutes, the candle wavering with the loss of her presence. Levi was exhausted, sliding into sleep soon after, arms stretched over the table.

* * *

_Used to pay the piper, till peter picked it better, Now the first thing you should tell is where the hell is all the paper. But memories keep coming back, All the nights that we used to laugh. Wanna know how I used to was, how I used to was. Memories keep playing back, all nights we used to love. Just wondering how we used to was; how we used to was._

* * *

**| 844 |**

_He watched the cadets mill around, keeping to the shadows, Farlan and Isabel sticking with the current Scout Regiment group, Keith preparing to go up on stage. Keith, Pixis, and Karl, commanders of their respective military groups, would go up once the Cadets were brought to attention. Some military and garrison troops were tucked into other corners of the courtyard._

_A loud sound was pulled from a brass instrument, echoing through the crowd, making them straighten, look to the small stage. With a cough, no doubt from the cold air, the attendee read the ranking list, loud despite the rattle of his voice. Zoe was first called, the nine other top ranked Cadets making neat row before the Commanders now on stage. Ten columns of cadets were made behind the row, and speeches were given by each Commander._

_She walked to the Military Regiment, the guard enveloping her, hiding her from his view. And he honestly had no idea how to react, saw her cast a look over her shoulder, a tense smile over pink lips. Levi was coming slowly to terms with the fact that he might not get to see her again, let alone find himself above her. Or under. He didn't care, closing his eyes to her, replacing her with a fantasy, though relief didn't seep into it, no matter how much he willed it to._

_Before he turned to follow the Survey troops from the yard, he caught sight of Farlan embracing her, squashing her and Isabel into the wide circle of his arms. The older boy ruffled her hair, her curls tossed around, though she soon brought them under control. Another, more sincere embrace came from Farlan, Isabel stepping in when he finally moved._

_Farlan met Levi's eyes, beckoning him. Levi didn't want to say goodbye, really, kept his face a blank slate as he turned from her. He didn't know how he would meet his end, so why prepare for it?_

**| 845(before the fall) |**

_"Too tired to walk? Half-assed excuse, Zoe."_

_She gave a noise, a kerfuffle, a hand working slow in his hair, distracting him from his progress up the steps. Zoe was oddly light, especially when she wasn't expending any energy on resisting him, or talking. So he carried her up the stairs, holding her legs in place so she wasn't jostled, hoping she didn't pick up on that fatal flaw called sentiment. And love, too, because holy shit, what if she started to put faith in him? The harsher reality of him failing her would start to work at the base of their poorly established relationship, if that was what this could be called._

_They were just...he was just a fuck up, trying to forget that essential fact that seemed to dictate his existence. And she was easy to keep, easy to hold, easy to kiss. He didn't want difficulty, revist the feelings she'd brought to the surface, preferring her like she was now, under the thin sheets on his bed, clothes forgotten in a heap on his floor. The rickety building let cold in far more than it held in heat, and that was his excuse for calling her over. About all he could manage._

_"Why would you steal this from Hanji?" She asked, the page making noise as she flipped it, feet working at the bottom of his bed, making herself more than comfortable._

_"Because I can, Zoe," he said, glancing over his shoulder, running his gaze slow over her before he pulled the shirt from his torso._

_He dragged a hand quick through his hair, settling next to her, attempting to pull the little booklet from her hands, bring the attention to him. Levi didn't want to convey any desperation, but if she needed, she could hit him. As long as she interacted with him, made his existence beyond the battlefield real, made him human, just for a moment. A minute, where he didn't have to ignore empathy._

_"BEcause you can doesn't mean you should," she murmured, lips close to his ear as he kissed over her collarbone._

_"That's nice," he said, though it wasn't even graced with an inflection, monotone all he'd give her at the moment._

_Her chuckle was quiet, hidden in seamlessly in a moan, tight little body jolting to get closer to his, and he obliged the movement by sliding his arm under, keeping her from finding the bed again. Just in case she decided to find comfort elsewhere. He didn't want that._

_"Can I stay, tonight?" she asked._

_"Why?" Levi leaned away, eyebrows furrowing, wondering why she was pestering him with that question._

_"I'll behave," she whispered, reaching for him, pulling him in for a kiss that worked wonders for his mood. "Please."_

_"I guess you've got it stuck in your head anyways. May as well," he said, shrugging as his lips managed a smirk._

_A spark flashed in her eyes, fire ignited by a hint of his cockiness, "Don't think that I'm doing this because I love you."_

_He actually laughed at that, leaning in again. She was so pretty. Levi didn't really trust her._

_**| early 847 |**_

_"Shit, was that a date?" Levi asked, letting the door shut behind him, slipping the bolt into place._

_"Yes, it was a rather nice one, but then, you decided to show up 20 minutes early, and then it ended," she snapped, adjusting her vest to give him a cold look over her shoulder._

_He wasn't going to get used to those looks; felt like he was talking to himself, now. After he'd gone fucking hunting for the Titan that killed her brother, he couldn't even tell her that, afraid of how she might translate those actions to what they were correctly identified as. That he felt some type of way that would give her so much fucking leverage over him, that she could command him off the top of a tower, just so no one who could benefit that Levi, Captain Levi of the Survey Corps, had something else besides the whole of humanity to fight for. Levi(Captain) wasn't supposed to be divided like this._

_Before her, he'd dreamed of peace. Now, he was sure he'd always be fighting to give her something better; on top of freedom for humanity. And whatever came with that. He was starting to see some sort of future, encouraged, no doubt, by his adventures beyond the cage, with the walls nothing more than relics behind them. Life here would finally be something to live._

_He stepped up the few steps into the small kitchen, tossing his jacket on the table. She scoffed, bringing her eyes down to the drawer of utensils she was sifting through. Hopefully not for a knife, because he really wasn't in the mood for that. He'd really, really hoped that the norm of, 'everything is trying to kill me' would end here._

_She didn't look happy, frown lines starting to form in place of those smile lines he'd mocked a long while back. Zoe wasn't dancing around the kitchen, humming to herself silly little diddies that he'd, and fuck there was a shitty constant, mocked as well. Maybe some sort of nursery rhymes, that kept those frown lines off her face. And now that they were gone, it was cold looks and cutting words from Zoe._

_Or maybe she was growing up. Like he had a while back._

_"Are you going to stab me with that knife, or tell my what your problem is?"_

_"I don't have a problem with you."_

_"And the knife issue?"_

_No response, her lips pressing tight in a white line, tipping further downwards as the silence stretched._

_Levi sat down in front of his discarded jacket, propping his head up on his hand, barely moving his lips when he spoke, "Because I'm still better than you, you know?" That should really catalyze a reaction._

_Zoe clenched her teeth, and she gripped something hidden by the drawer. Of course he'd die like this, if she pulled it off, which...maybe. But only slightly maybe, to make the margin of error even less critical. Still; of course he was going to die because he said something offensive to someone he shouldn't have. This someone was also coincidentally a rising star in the Military Police (if that counted for anything), and the only person he couldn't easily see himself hurting when he needed._

_She came after him; not with a knife, but a spoon. Which, in his experience, wasn't a good weapon, and she had no idea how to use it. The metal bent on her second stab despite that. She'd been aiming for his leg, or his dick, but he'd edged back and opened his legs, letting the chair take the full force of her attack. IT did crack a tad._

_When she moved for him again, he stopped her, hand tight around her wrist, letting her strain against him. He expected her to give soon, but she held firm, actually pushing him back. Half of his ass was off the seat when he stood up, shoved her back into the far wall, making sure there wasn't anything there to hurt her when he did._

_He picked his knife from his pocket, slapping it into her hand, on top of the spoon. Levi relaxed his hold on her wrist, allowed the knife in her hand to move closer to his throat, waiting for some rationality to stop her. Zoe jolted back, yanking her hand out of his grip to discard the knife and spoon, clattering on the floor, hitting his chest with a spread hand instead. Much less fatal, at least._

_She gripped his shirt tight in her fist, yanked him to and fro. Levi's hand went to her hip to root himself, unused to sallow cheekbones and cropped hair, with a look in her eyes that said she'd seen shit, and he fucking believed it now. The terror the titans brought was one he was glad excuse from the new generation, until Maria fell, and the terror revisited her. So he wrapped his arms around her tight, maybe in hopes to squeeze the images from her, help her forget. And he shouldn't have stayed away so long, allowed this kind of shift; so, so long, he forgot how she trembled in his arms at times like these._

_He'd left her to wallow in tears, and that wasn't something anyone should have to go through, especially when there was something, someone, who could be there. Levi didn't think she'd leave him to do that. Guilt, such an infrequent emotion, slid down his spine, made him shake almost as hard as she was just for a moment. He held her tighter to counter it._

_"Don't leave me like that," she said, fingers scrabbling against his collarbone._

_"Like what?"_

_"Go off into certain death, turn back to me, smile, wave and believe the hero bullshit they're selling you, Levi."_

_"First, I'd never smile and wave, Zoe, you know this. And how annoying the population is, gawking and pointing, when being quiet is something to be treasured. The fucking instant I'm off my horse, it's a different story, mostly about how I'm short." He got a shake of laughter for that, though he could feel her tears damp on his chest. Levi was very willing to make fun of himself to isolate those 'good' shakes. "Second, I'll never believe a single thing the royal government says. Their aid programs never reached us in the underground; nothing good did. So they're nothing good. I trust people who have proved their worth, and general intelligence. Which you have."_

_She shook her head, but her shakes had stopped, an anxiety attack finished, probably. His chest was still damp, but her fingers had taken up a lovely pattern on his chest, swirls pressing down. Distracting; like she usually was, smaller than ever, with her cutsie curls gone, which kind of worked for him._

_Zoe breathed slow, mumbling, "I missed you."_

_"Yea."_

_He heard the sigh that generally followed his brevity, a very personal code that annoyed a number of people when he held strict to it. Levi knew what she wanted to hear from him, but then, he'd turned up at her place 20 minutes before schedule, and scared that reedy blonde guy out of the townhouse. Where, admittedly, LEvi felt the man belonged, trying to cuddle close to Zoe. It almost made him sick. But still; obviously he cared._

_"What are we doing?" She asked._

_That drove him crazy, it really did. Such an ambiguous question that she breathed sometimes, and he didn't have the heart to answer, or consider, remaining quiet. Levi only put one thing on the shaky foundation that this world provided; that if she was still around, he'd keep her with him; hold onto the memories with her, as well, one of the last tethers to Isabel and Farlan. She'd always be his._

_And for a fuzzy term, as he loved to say (Erwin had given him a speech and a visual board aid up on fuzzy terms of endearment), she'd always be his baby. Honey, darling, lovely, were all terms so sweet his teeth ached._

_**| late 847 |**_

_She yanked at his shirt, buttons spraying everywhere. Very upsetting, since he knew she couldn't sow worth a damn. But it was nice to have her on him as soon as he came back, her hand dragging through his hair, nails tingling over his scalp, barely breathing properly as she kissed him hard. Maybe she was getting him back for all the bruising kisses he'd given her in the beginning._

_Zoe jumped, and he caught her, as always. She should give him more credit. He had her. Always._

_**| late 848 |**_

_He really hated these meetings, but the worst part of being in the capital was being in the Military Office. Made worse when Nathan brought his pale and smiling face near him, that hardly controlled prowess that granted him confidence Zoe would be lucky to feel half of. Levi was going to hold sentiment for her half of the issue, at the moment, so._

_He'd meet Nathan about 2 years ago, at first somewhat impressed with his skill, and the way he carried himself around his superiors. Of course, Levi considered how he was wasting talent in the Military Police, but he'd give a bit of slack for initiative, and other Zoe like qualities (nothing physical, but he was clarifying where he didn't need to, wasn't he?). When Levi had seen how Nathan dealt with his underlings, however, his opinion had taken a normal route with Military Police; shitty human beings. Violence should be directed at the true villains; the titans. And their keepers (when he found them)._

_"Humanity's greatest soldier, right?" Nathan asked, as if, after 2 years of seeing Levi in the Capital for general business, he needed clarification, and a handshake._

_Levi didn't stand up. Not just to avoid the embarrassment of hardly coming up to Nathan's chin, but to snub him, and his red hair. He also didn't shake his hand, or really acknowledge that Nathan had spoken. A huff came from the man, and he stepped back, revealing Zoe, short cropped hair finally growing out, pushed from her face with a couple of hair ornaments._

_"Thank you for coming, Commandeer Erwin," she said, talking too fast as always, words almost bleeding together, "I'm so, so sorry for the wait, I truly hope it was of no inconvenience, and I understand that Captain Levi doesn't enjoy being at the Office."_

_Levi made a low noise, unsure if he was annoyed with the formal use of his name, or by the setting. "Yes. Can we move this along, Lieutenant Commander?"_

_"Captain."_

_Was she trying to pull rank on him? Because it was hardly working._

_"Lieutenant Commander."_

_A bit too flirtatious, maybe, and he barely caught a smirk before it snaked over his lips._

_"Of course," Zoe said, waving them up._

_Erwin stood first, and Nathan dropped away, walking in an entirely different direction, leaving the three of them alone. They already knew where they were going, so Zoe didn't have to do any leading of sorts, Levi choosing to walk beside her, in front of Erwin, his commander acting the impartial 3rd party as he always did. The conversation was mostly him expressing his annoyance with Nathan, and Zoe rolling her eyes in response._

_"He's not terrible."_

_"Has he seduced you as well?" he asked._

_"You're so dramatic, Levi."_

_"I am not, Zoe."_

_"Yes you are, you hate the Military Police, and it's hilarious. I've never heard anyone make 'unicorn' a slur."_

_"Hilarious?"_

_She made his face, entire face falling into neutral, a fairly flat, low voice used, "I'm Levi and I hate everybody."_

_Erwin made a noise, and Levi looked over his shoulder, saw the blonde with a half smile. Erwin finally decided to make a vocal input to the exchange, "You're so mean to her, Levi."_

_"Blondie, you're not even in this conversation,"_

_"I think he has a point," Zoe said, tilting her chin up to give him a haughty look._

_"Thank you, Lieutenant Commander. Further, towards my point, it must be difficult putting up with him. I mean, I'm not with him in the same manners you are, though Hanji would say something different, "_

_Levi grunted loud enough to break Erwin's sentence flow, interjecting, "shitty four eyes."_

_"it has to have dragged on to the point where you've wondered why you stick around."_

_"Well, he's a good partner."_

_Levi was very, very, very happy with that verdict, tossed another monotone sentence over his shoulder, "Hear that, Erwin? I'm a catch."_

_"I never said that."_

_"I'll say it for you," Levi said, catching one of her hair ornaments as it fell from her hair._

_"No you won't."_

_He made to fix the hair back in place, but he ended up making it look bad, which was his usual result with hair that wasn't his, or hair that didn't need a straight sheering. After he'd hacked of Hanji's hair, half out of spite, and half out of lack of skill, people steered clear of asking him for cosmetic help of that persuasion. A great effect he'd brought into being._

_"Opps."_

_"Not opps, Levi, how can you mess up a hair-clip-thingy?"_

_He scoffed, "You don't even know their official name name, so why are you being so judgy?"_

_"Because you can't set a clip."_

_"You were moving, Zoe, it's not like I've mastered fixing short hair along with 3D gear. I don't have that kind of time."_

_"Mm. What would Isabel say?"_

_He still hadn't told her that Isabel and Farlan were dead, and wasn't planning to, but he hardly took offense, happy for the memory. "A lot of stuff. Mainly hurtful, but then, maybe if you stopped moving I could help you out."_

_"We have a meeting to go to, LEvi, and you're implying procrastinating."_

_And it was back to their own back and forth after that, Erwin swiftly cut out of conversation. He had plenty of time to talk to his commander, but he didn't have enough time with Zoe in general, to get elbows in response to bad sentences, have a warmth more familiar than the Titans close to him. Because that was the most frequent heat, and he almost wished them present in the winter missions. When he came back to civilization with a free reign, he immediately thought of Zoe._

_Now he had Zoe(even if he didn't actually have Zoe), sitting beside him in some high up meeting._

_He was leaning to the side too keep up appearance, though his hand was snugly over her inner thigh, almost one hundred percent sure that she wouldn't retaliate. Levi did enjoy not being bored to hell in shitty meetings. And her actually fighting back, in sorts, was just as good. It worked better than his measures, making him so hard he couldn't sit still, an idea he'd never really accepted until her. Now. Whatever._

_Levi had to hold a fucking folder over himself, making out that he needed to read this out of the room. No one wanted to argue with him, so he had her where he wanted her in the hall. Some sort of revenge, though it hardly felt like it, more a reward, her body against his for the first time in a long, long while. Maybe he was over exaggerating, but it felt like a long time._

_"You really could have choice of a million better people, Zoe," he murmured, reached to catch her, pulling her to him._

_His eyes swept over her face, memorizing it once more, a pale new scar over her shoulder, along with a number of sears on her abdomen that he'd never seen on a military police who didn't go outside the wall. A secret, maybe, that he was allowing himself to over think already._

_"And lose such an ill-defined relationship?" She said, finding a more comfortable place on his lap. "I don't want to even consider that."_

_**| 849 |**_

_"I don't think I've ever had such a frustrating member, Levi. He-he constantly degrades me, and generally gives me these looks, and I can not...not fantasize about killing him," Zoe said, eyes away from his, leg shifting under the covers._

_"Then tell him to fuck off."_

_Her head jerked up, "What?"_

_"Put your foot down, Zoe, and tell him to fuck off."_

_"...fuck off?"_

_"Oh, fuck, Zoe, don't say fuck off like you've never heard it before."_

_"I'm just saying it's unprofessional."_

_"And you fucking the Captain of the Survey Corps isn't?"_

_She stopped everything to glare at him, hand dragging her hair back, making sure he felt the force of those narrowed eyes, "Well, I like sleeping with him when he's not an ass, and telling me to do things."_

_"Well, I don't like Nathan either."_

_"Don't tell anyone what I said."_

_"It's pillow talk for a reason, Zoe," he said, scoffing as he sat up, looking over his shoulder. "I don't talk enough to people to give secrets away."_

_He really felt like she was his equivalent, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Levi watched her settle into the sheets. Zoe smiled slowly, relaxing as she turned on her side, collecting her pillow under her head. Gorgeous; even with her tousled into a bird's nest._

_"Are you going to get me food, or something?" she asked, reaching for him. "I'd really like that."_

_Her hand moved up his arm, giving him one of her practiced, dewy eyed, please-Levi-do-this-for-me looks. "You have such entertaining fantasies, Zoe. I was just adjusting myself, because you take all the damn blankets."_

_"I don't need fantasies when I'm with you."_

_He snorted, eyes resting on the star studded sky. "Are you implying I'm the full package?"_

_Zoe shrugged. She drove him crazy. But he'd rather not have her anywhere else but here._

_She rolled herself on top of him, hands cupping his face as she kissed him, though they soon left it to peruse his chest. Zoe eased back, hips grinding down onto him, making him regret his underwear choice. Her nails dug into his skin, and he breathed a shaky breath, hissing her name under his breath._

_A smirk flashed over her face, confident now that she had him where she wanted. "How does it feel to have me like this?"_

_"Fuck me," he breathed, moving his hands to grasp greedily at her flesh._

_"Tell me you want me," she said, as if there was any other answer but one._

_Levi pushed himself up, arm wrapping tight around her waist, peppering kisses over her chest, "I want you so fucking much, Zoe. You feel so good."_

_Her hands passed over his arms, smoothing over his muscles before she looped her arms around the back of his neck, hips continuing that maddening rhythm against his dick. He was usually the one turning her to easily managed clay, but now, he just needed his underwear off. It was hard to focus, the sheets tangled around him as much as her legs were._

* * *

_| Present |_

* * *

He'd lost her, along with all the words they'd exchanged. Levi held his hair away from his face, body tensed. She was just not here anymore. At all. He wasn't going to be annoyed by her anymore, and that's what really killed him.

"Shit," he sighed, standing back from the chair, back protesting due to his sleep position. "**Shit**," he repeated, an octave raised, and he kicked the chair back into the wall, the wood snapping on impact. "Like hell I'll let them take her." He started towards the hall, shouting, "Hanji!"

Hanji leaned out of a side room, watching him as he stalked towards her. "What is it, little guy?"

"Shut up, four-eyes, and listen. Where do the central military police congregate?"

"Off books, they have an out post in Sina, and a couple other in less populated places, where they can keep their dealings quiet."

"Give me their locations. Can you have out contacts inside the Military Police keep an eye out for Zoe? What about some of her friends? That sad looking one, Jay, and the fucking redhead."

"They haven't been on the map for a week, I heard."

"What?"

"I can have the other ones look out, but you know we don't have a lot of allies in the MPs."

"I know. But just...do it."

"What's the magic word?"

"Shut the hell up, four-eyes, you called me little."

"I enjoy your thug vocabulary."

He glared at her, but at least the back and forth relaxed him.

* * *

_I'm gonna keep that diamond in my mind. For there's hell upon the breeze, there's hell upon the breeze; Six riders ride. They say I must be the devil's child. And the hell upon the breeze; Six riders ride. And all my days I been the losin' kind. And the hell upon the breeze. Love, it ain't mine_

* * *

AN (going crazy with the flashbacks, as I analyze the uprising arc and put it into this story)


	24. Hypnopaedia

(AN: I'm taking liberties with the Attack on Titan world in this chapter, and really manipulating it, applying the ideas of memory alterations, along with sleep-teaching, a somewhat ludicrous idea, but it's applied heavily in Sci-fi.)

* * *

_When we were coming down they said it was too soon; I never had to lie no no, no no. We were coming down, they left us all alone. Way to nowhere, nowhere. I know you've been around, I feel you in and out, how are you? Do you sleep? Are you with me? We used to be unspoken. Now everything is broken_

* * *

Zoe spluttered as her head was lifted back, unable to catch her breath. She saw the red tinted water, tasted the blood streaming from her torn out piercings, then she was shoved back in, about to pass out, but Nathan lifted her from the water, cuffs at her wrists yanking her against his pull. Jay looked amused, crouching, hand on his chin, fingers drumming slow on the side of his face.

"What did Captain Ackerman say?" Jay asked, over her harsh breaths. "Oiya, John, what did he say?"

"Ben, cool it, let me think." Nathan frowned.

She had no idea why they didn't recognize her, and she'd stopped talking a long time ago, the names making everything worse as they brought chuckles. Her body trembled with exhaustion, listening to the men, who'd been _her_ loyal soldiers, never mind their flaws, laugh at her desperation. Jay rose, moved closer to her. Nathan yanked her back from the table, chain rattling with her, hitching her arms up high this time. His large hands gripped the start of her clothes, then tore down.

Jay stepped in again, and something pressed to her skin. Zoe found her voice again, screams tearing from her lungs, twisting, turning, kicking out, hearing her skin sizzle. Her breath wasn't coming properly, and black spots swam in her vision, as well as the smoke. Jay dragged the poker over her stomach, Zoe retching, dry heaving, water and stomach acid the only thing to force out of herself. She'd used that exact torture method once, and she remembered all too well the scar left.

She passed out, woke up to darkness. Zoe heard something that convinced her otherwise, and her body shuddered, closing her mouth, listening to the noise. Her stomach twisted, tears starting up, the hissing, shifting, tangible slithering there _every time_ she woke. At some point, she started pleading, wondered how they knew about this phobia; she'd never, ever talked about it, had it redacted on medical documents, nor really thought about it, though the fear was there. Down in the underground going after her pendant. It was a common passing thought when she saw was making her way around a forest, long grasses, even alleyways. The latter had given her more shocks, due to the frequency of rats, and she just; thank fuck that it wasn't a spider.

It was so dark, as well, and she hated the dark, hated the snakes, hated everything. She began jerking herself side to side, screams pitching, foreign to her own ears, a single thought going round and round by the end of it. Just to get out, she just wanted out, that was all, before the snakes got her. Her mind went stretches farther, and she couldn't stop the thought of snakes, managing to cloud all of her senses.

One thought. Nothing else. No more snakes.

A door opened, a break in the stream, and she stopped babbling for an instant, straining for the safety she hoped would be provided. Soft, cold skin brushed over her arm, the first actual contact, different from her influencing thoughts, very much real. Zoe's mouth stretched wide, scream cut off by her own panic, breath halted in her throat. She couldn't seem to clear her mind enough to recall how to breath, jolting like she was attached to copper filaments.

Jay delivered a hard slap that seemed to restart her, and Zoe slumped, sucking air into her corrupted lungs, "She doesn't look pretty anymore," Jay murmured. "Wanna talk, lovely?"

Zoe nodded. Nathan made it so she could move, holding her up as he walked back to the large door, thrust her inside again. Captain Ackerman stepped forward, caught her before she fell. Someone stepped forward, pressed a cloth along her chewed up ear, and Zoe shook, huddled in front of the fire, noting that barely a day had progressed. Fuck. She was so worthless, she couldn't- she wouldn't-. Just no more snakes.

"Now," the man's voice was behind her. "Tell me."

"I know him," she started, felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, and words spilled from her lips. They didn't stop, and Zoe wanted to die, kill herself, because she'd never be able to look **him** in the eye again. She was betraying the only person who she had left, really, but she didn't want the snakes. Her words petered off to that phrase, "no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes no more snakes _no more snake_s."

"Shh-shh," Captain Ackerman's hand patted at her back, and she tipped into the warmth, thinking that at least it wasn't snakes.

She felt a needle at her skin, but she stuck close to the Captain, drifting into a sleep that Zoe didn't wake from.

Emma did, looked up to a man's face, thin, sallow, wrinkles prominent. A frown bent her lips, but Emma blinked, recalled something that was whispering there on the edge of her consciousness. This was her long time Captain, appropriately Captain Ackerman, who, along with her, served the Royal family. They'd carried a relationship on for 3 years, hadn't they?

So Emma smiled, and all that whispering knowledge asserted itself, as Captain Ackerman closed the machine, pushed the needle to the side. "Hi," she said, reaching, rubbing at her eyes before she did, vision wavering for an instant, a brief flash of a handsome, younger, dark-haired man with a frown and gray eyes replacing the Captain. She rubbed her eyes harder, and the image vanished. "What happened?" because her entire body hurt.

"Some people...who wanted to harm the kingdom got in our way."

"mmm. Who?"

"Just a couple of Scout Regiment soliders."

Her lips fell into a slash. "Really, now?"

"Yes, but. We've got one suitably contained."

"Hmm?"

"A silly little girl. Tried resisting."

A man with red hair walked in, but she placed a name to him quickly; John. And then a slimmer man, with sleep ringed eyes; Ben. Men she'd fought along side with. Emma tipped her head to Captain Ackerman, his mannerisms familiar, if not overly tall, but then- She frowned, something there, right there, but once again, she didn't try to follow it. He'd always been tall, who was she trying to fit in that place? Someone short, she thought, but shoved it away, not liking it. She assigned Captain Ackerman to the significant other trope without really realizing it, the chunk left out from the memory alteration properly slotting.

"Well. We should get moving, Ben and John are waiting."

His hand was at her back, pushing her forward into the next room. Ben tossed her a uniform, and Emma grabbed it from the air, the leather of the jacket sliding soft against her fingers. She moved into a changing room, pushing her leg through her pants, wondering why she had so many scars she didn't remember. Emma pulled up her pants faster, the material form fitting enough to allow knee length boots, wrapping the straps around her legs, fitting it for 3D movement gear. She eased more straps over her torso, wincing as they pressed bandages that spanned her stomach.

Emma pulled a button out to look at those bandages, eyelashes wet with tears that'd come from nowhere. She frowned, blinking the water from her eyes, scowling when they refused to stop. To pass the time, she finished dressing, the Central Military Police insignia detailed in gold. For some reason, it wasn't as familiar as it should've been, if she'd been in this part of the military for so long.

And she didn't know how to use the anti-human gear; it felt odd, on her back instead of her waist, with guns instead of blades. She didn't know what it was. Emma didn't dare press for the meaning, or close her eyes. When she did, she saw the frowning man again, knit brow heavy over gray eyes, and her heart hurt as bad as her head did.

* * *

Captain Ackerman asked about Levi again. The pudgy man didn't respond quickly, but he did, eventually. Emma wondered what was so special about Levi, jealousy spiking through her, resting against a tree, John close to her. He chuckled, and Emma turned, narrowed her eyes, her chewed up ear giving a sharp jolt of pain validation. So she ignored John, wondered how she'd lasted 6 years with that idiot at her side. and then Ben, who was resting close to the little clearing as well, the lanky man slinking around to their side as the Captain dispatched the pudgy man.

She thought she saw someone, but focused on the Captain, "I thought I was your pride." She could've sworn he'd said that.

He chuckled, and then snapped his fingers. The three moved, mixing with the five other men, bundling the targets, a small blonde, and the other, a shifter, in to the cart. Emma spent time on the boy, wondering why he was trying to say, 'Zoe', brows furrowing, then thought, Hanji Zoe. So she tightened the bonds, made sure everything was properly placed. With a tiny humm, she stepped back, regarded her work.

Captain Ackerman rapped on the side, and she dipped to tighten it, not leaving anything to chance. She turned, slipped off with the use of his offered arm, his kiss always making her confused, comparing it to something else, wondered why the affection she remembered wasn't in his eyes. Nor were they grey. Emma scolded herself, smiling for her own reassurance and his.

Ben tossed her a knife, pointed, and she turned in the direction he'd pointed out as she caught it, the merchant running headlong into her knife. She pulled it out, stabbed back in once, twice, then walked back to the cart. Emma swung herself up, sat close to Captain Ackerman, considering, for some reason, that she should be sad. Or something.

Ackerman leaned back in his seat, tipping his hat over his eyes, "To town, John."

The redhead nodded, flicked the reins, the carriage shooting forward, bouncing over the rocky terrain.

* * *

She watched Kenny get blown back out of the bar, the loud noise of a shotgun deafening, and the team jolted in surprise. Emma just managed to duck as a flash of movement preluded Levi diving from the bar, slashing through one of her squad members. His eyes locked on her, and he gazed at her, disbelief cracking the emotionless mask. Raising her gun, she took aim, but he was already moving, a dead man used to halt her and her two squad men's fire.

Blood sprayed when he slit their throats, and he took a few steps towards her, dragging the dead man with him, "Zoe, what the hell-"

Emma squeezed the trigger, and he used the dead man one more time, flinging him towards her. In the time it took for her to dodge and line up her gun again, he was already moving fast through the streets, out of range. Kenny's second in Command moved beside her, the two of them checking that he was, in fact, alive. Ackerman even chuckled when he sat up.

"My dream is slipping away."

She spoke on instinct, hardly thinking, "I'll catch it, Captain."

"Will you, Emma? Will you?"

"Yes," she hissed, swinging her arm out to attach her wire to the nearest building. "I'll get him. And I'll be better than him."

Kenny looked bored; she hated that look, desperately launching herself after Levi to get rid of it now and forever. She didn't know who the small guy was, but no one was better than her. No one. She wanted to be better than everyone, or she'd lose her worth. Emma couldn't remember a lot of things, but she knew that drive like it was engraved in stone. With viable competition in front of her, the want became a need.

Two soldiers of the First Interior Squad were out of commission by the time she gained on the cart. A woman landed in the escaping cart, and the next minute, she was dead, the small blonde directing the horses turning and putting a bullet between her eyes. Emma used the tiled roof to project herself further into the air, heading for the man with the superior skills.

His blades clashed against her gun as she made to bring it down over his head. He attempted to elbow her away, but she stuck with him, forcing him to focus on her as she attacked him relentlessly, sparks flying between them. She fired a shot at him, but he was fast enough to deflect it, delivering a solid kick to her stomach in the lull. The additional pain from her bandages hurt like hell, forcing tears to her eyes, and she clenched her teeth together.

He angled himself, shoving her into the nearby wall. Emma barely recovered before he came for her, his fighting style familiar to the point of madness. She was messed up by that familiarity and the questions brought with it, increasing the speed of her attacks to offset her nerves. Levi stepped up to the level she provided, the both of them still flying through the air behind the cart.

_Where the hell was he from?_

"Zoe, what is-"

People kept calling her that; people she didn't know, but she reacted to the name as if it were her own.

She shouted at him to rid herself of the crushing doubt, "Stop calling me that!"

She launched a flurry of attacks on him, guns a disadvantage against blades, but she refused to let those slow her down. Emma would not have him best her, and put everything behind her next attack. The bullet burned through the side of his shirt, and she saw blood bloom. Her attention lulled as she congratulated herself, and Levi took that moment to grasp her waist, dragging her to the cart.

They tumbled around a bit before Emma tried to get up, but Levi grabbed her collar, slamming her back down on the wooden surface. Dots appeared in her vision. He was stronger than his small stature gave; just like her. Another man was on her, face long like a horse's, grasping her wrists and binding them with a leather strap, soon doing the same to her legs. She wiggled wildly, but eventually took a damn hint and stopped fighting it.

A goddamn prisoner now. Fuck. Her body trembled when she thought of Kenny, wondered what he'd do once he found out she'd failed. All her big words had fallen short, and she was going to...have hell on her heels if he saw her again. She curled into a ball, frantically searching for a way to handle herself, but her memories were blank, and nerves shattered her entirely, black enveloping her.

Emma had nothing, her life a blank slate, no memories where there should be some. She knew that right now, she was like a blind man reaching upward for the sun, feeling nothing but the heat, the burning question; should there be something? Or was the sun nothing but wives tales set up by a population luckier than he?

She woke in a hay bale, legs still bound, but her hands were free, Levi crouched in front of her, gray eyes conveying concern unlike the woman behind him, holding bandages in her hand like she'd soon move to turn them into weapons. "One of my squad, Sasha, will re bandage your wounds, but you can't run, and if you hurt-"

"I won't do anything," Emma snapped, cutting him off, purposely rude so she didn't have to hear his inexplicably comforting deep voice. Like he was her lover, or something. And she had that, didn't she?

"Good."

He still grasped her wrists in his hands, holding her away from the mousy haired girl. Sasha reached to unbutton her shirt, and Emma jolted, uncomfortable having one of the enemy undo her clothes. Despite the fact it was flimsy cloth, it was a line of defense she was loathe to allow the rebels to get rid of. The pain radiating from her wounds convinced her otherwise, and she relaxed unconsciously towards Levi.

Everything about him was familiar. Everything; from the pattern of his breathing, to the sharpness in his tone when he told Sasha to take a better approach. She allowed the puzzle Levi presented to distract her, head tipped away from Sasha and her wounds to stare at him. _Where was he from?_

He didn't break their gaze, instead speaking to her in a low voice, "Do you remember me, Zoe?"

"That's not my name," she said, "it's Emma."

"What the hell did they do to you?" he asked, eyes going to her stomach, jaw clenching. "You at least remember those burn wounds, right?"

"No, I-" she attempted, voice breaking around the syllable, and she swallowed to keep her nervousness from overtaking her again, "I don't."

"I'm going to go get Armin," he said, speaking her her as if she'd know the face behind the name, beginning to release her wrists.

"No, no, wait," She grasped his hand this time, stopping his progress. "How do I know you? You can't leave when I have questions, right?"

Levi sighed, sitting back down, nodding to Sasha to fetch the person he'd named. After a few seconds in which Levi did not answer her questions, Sasha soon darted back into the stables, a small blonde boy in tow. The one who'd killed a squad member of hers, actually, though he didn't fit the bill of a killer at all. In fact, he was sort of shrimpy, with his long blonde hair and blue eyes, two things she'd not seen a lot of in the military. But then, she couldn't remember her military training, really. It was all vague, a fog surrounding everything when she attempted to call the memories up..

"Yes, Captain Levi?" Armin said, standing near Sasha as she crouched again to handle Emma's wounds.

"What do you know about memory manipulation?"

Aramin hesitated, looking between her, and Levi. "So, you don't think she willingly switched sides?"

Levi looked more than mildly irritated at that. "She wouldn't."

"I think memory manipulation is a plausible idea," Armin said,

"I asked her her name, and she said Emma."

"If it is possible, then you'd assume the government would have a remedy."

"You think we'll get any remedy from the Central MPs, Armin?"

"No, but I don't see any other way. Maybe jog her memory, but with all of them gone, it doesn't seem possible."

"You really think we'll find on?"

Armin nodded with a good amount of zeal, "They're not as dumb as you think; they'll keep a failsafe."

"Where?"

"If it's used commonly, then you'd think it'd be common knowledge to the higher ups, or some apothecary in service to the Central Government."

Levi made a 'tch' noise, eyes flicking from Armin to the floor. "I know an apothecary; he might be employed by the government."

"Could you contact him overnight?"

"No. We have to stay hidden. I'm not putting everyone's lives at risk for one person, especially when the action isn't needed."

* * *

She was tucked away in the corner of the barn, four or so of her kidnappers sleeping on the floor around a dimmed lantern, Levi sitting close to her, eyes resting on her now and then. He should've been sleeping; he wasn't scheduled for a watch, so why not take advantage of that? Emma had ropes around her legs and hands again, so she wasn't confident that she'd be able to get out of her bonds, nevermind the minefield of highly trained teenagers on the floor.

Sleep wasn't coming to her, and she hoped it would stay that way, as she'd be plagued by confusing dreams with people who she didn't know. Or maybe her subconscious would decide to play out just what Kenny would do to her when she came slinking back to him. He didn't handle failure from his subordinates well, especially when she'd been so quick to make him proud by grabbing Levi. But she always fell short of her expectations.

She didn't want to brood on it. "Why do you look at me like that?" she asked, wondering if he'd ignore the question.

"Like what?"

"Like you care, or something. Maybe you care about that Zoe girl."

He shook his head, soft looking lips tipped down into a seemingly permanent grimace. "yea."

"You shouldn't care about someone like that."

"I know."

"Did you lose her?"

"Maybe."

"You think I'm her."

He clenched his teeth, snapping, "I know you are."

"Really?" she asked, feeling as if she should treat him like fire.

"I've know her, you, for six years, so don't say really like you think I'm crazy."

A hesitant smile pushed at her lips, "That's nice to hear. I suppose Zoe's luckier than me. I'm not her."

"Why don't you remember me?"

"I don't know, I-"

"What about those nights we sat up in the bell tower? That book I stole from you? All those stupid arguments, even?" he asked, though he didn't give her space to answer. "The months of training? The sex, at least? How generally unstealthy you are? Your brother, Jaz? His kid; your Nephew? That night when I-All those nights when your anxiety flared I held you through it? How worked up you can make yourself, even if the reason is stupid? Nathan, or Jay? That locket-the locket I gave you a new string-"

She jerked violently, elbow knocking against the wall, tingles fizzing over her body. "Stop it, I'm telling you I don't know those things, and it hurts my head to try and break the fog, so please, please stop." Emma didn't know how he knew about her anxiety, but he seemed to know those little things that made her up.

"But-"

"I want to be her, okay?" she said, shoulders shaking with a strained laugh. "I want to be someone else, because I feel like I'm going to implode. I don't know why I don't have any memories to really go on, except vague suggestions of the First Interior squad, and Kenny."

"Do you remember anything?"

She gazed at him, taking in his face, the cheekbones, and stormy gray eyes. His frown broke an otherwise handsome face, much more youthful than Kenny's. Emma was at least able to place him now, recalling flashes of him when she closed her eyes, or Kenny stepped in to do something mildly amorous. What Levi had described to her seemed more real than whatever haze filled memories of Kenny. Still, she wasn't Zoe.

"Maybe."

Levi tipped his head back, let it hit the wood panelling behind him, "I promised you the world once. You know that normal life shit? A farm, maybe, with a porch and a fence, with fucking rocking chairs, and a goddamn kid, who "

"Life's not fair."

"I know, but she made it bearable. You do, I don't mean to speak in past tense," he said, resting there with one knee crooked, and the other stretched out on the floor.

She stared down at her hands, asking, "Could you even handle normal, Levi?"

"I'm not normal, not after all the shit I've been through."

He moved suddenly, leaning from the wall to reach into his jacket, bringing out a pretty, oval gold locket, strung with a braided string. Levi eased closer to her, holding it out, lantern light caught in the gold. She held out her hand, and he dropped it, watching her as she inspected it. Emma didn't want to open it, raising her eyes to the man who seemed to have all the answers to her questions.

"Is this mine?"

"Yes."

"Could you tie it around my neck, then?"

She turned her back to him, tipping her head forward, feeling the ghost of his hands as he moved the necklace into place, fingers making quick work of the tie. Emma welcomed the familiar weight on her chest and Levi's presence. For once, she felt comfortable in her own skin, turning back to the man who'd professed to love her; Zoe, at least. Her eyes lingered again on the planes of his face, dropping to his lips, wondering how soft they'd feel against hers. But she didn't have time for love, or any sort of optimism, focusing on taking the knife she'd seen him slide into his pocket when he first cut her bonds. Her nose brushed against his, and she allowed a minor slip to send her body onto his, the shuffle of movement allowing her to remove the knife from his person.

Levi stood, walked out of the barn. Emma instantly took up the knife again, managing to saw her bonds away from her hands, flexing her numbing fingers before she went to her feet. The leather binding had also reduced that region to pins and needles, and she stood gingerly, sliding out the back of the barn, a slight hole just enough to wriggle through. She took up a fast walk instead of a run, annoyed that her feet were still protesting.

Every branch that cracked under her foot made her wince, casting a gaze behind her as she came to a halt in a clearing, gazing up at the moon, attempting to gage some sort of location. Her eyes caught a blur of movement a moment before Levi charged her, and she jolted out of his way. He caught her wrist, holding her still for the moment needed to sweep her feet out from under her. Abruptly, her progress to the forest floor was stopped, his grip too tight around both of her wrists.

She didn't let the display of strength surprise her, and collected her feet under her, using the obvious bias Levi felt towards 'Zoe' to her advantage; he wasn't going to hit her hard, right? Emma shoved him away from her, bringing her leg up to force him further away, booted foot connecting with his stomach. The hit would've slowed down anyone else, but he was still on her, slamming her against the rough bark of a tree, the hit rattling her.

Fuck, she'd fucked up, she'd fucked up _s_o bad trying to mess with Levi. Maybe Kenny had been right in calling Levi his pride. She wasn't good enough. There wasn't a good with Kenny Ackerman, only a demand for great.

Levi didn't give when she pushed against him, using the four inches or so he had on her to effectively trap her. Wriggling brought more scratches and pain, so she learned her lesson and stopped, panting up at him, glaring against tears that were beginning to form. Emma hated losing, especially against him. The drive to win, and succeed, wasn't buffered by unfogged memories, and all she had was Kenny. "Let me go."

"No."

"Shit!" she sobbed, hands pressing with increasing futility against his chest. "Why the hell do you want me?"

"Because Central government has fucked with something they shouldn't of."

"You'd just break up with her, wouldn't you? You learn about someone, start to doubt them, and I know me, and I'd be better off without me."

He seemed to chuckle, eyes conveying some bemusement as his body shook with the internalized action, "Moron."

"That's hilarious," Emma sighed, rolling her eyes off to the side, crossing her arms over her chest to put space between them. "Are you sure she fell in love with you?"

"I never told you that she loved me."

Her eyebrows rose, and she laid her eyes on him. "Oh. The L word."

Emma shifted, focusing on the hollow of his neck, how he didn't smell as bad as he should after rolling about in the same barn she had. The attraction she felt to him was offensive, and normally, she wasn't…. And she reached for some sort of release, winding her arms around the back of his neck, willing him, or whatever emotions he held for this Zoe woman, to complete the inch between them. He did, lips meshing soft against hers, and she let a noise ease through hers, running her hand greedily into his hair, tugging the soft black locks as she fisted her hand. Levi leaned away, pressing his lips together, giving his head a little shake as if to say no.

She felt a physical ache for him, and pulled him back in, pushing her body against his in a flustered attempt to hold his focus on her. Maybe it was a bit pathetic, yes, but she just fucking needed to have his hands on her. Emma was alive, mind unfogged, enough to gain some recollection of her past. The ripples of the break fluttered through her, but she didn't let it deter her, moving her hands to one of his, pushing it to her belt line, nodding in hopes to stop him from hesitating.

"Zoe, I-"

"You love me, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"But what?" she snapped, clenching her teeth. Lust seemed like child's play to her. "Fuck me, okay? Why else would you want me?" The words felt hollow, and she covered her insecurity by kissing him fervently, coaxing his hand up to her breast instead, hook a leg as best she could around his waist. He thrust his groin harshly against hers, and she groaned at the sensation, feeling his teeth scrape her bottom lip, moving himself to better mold against her. Emma was thrilled he was taking control like this, his hands passing over her body, taking hold of her wrists in one of his hands, holding them above her head.

Something wrapped quick around her wrists, and she leaned away, twisting to look at the wire. Shit; really? _Really_? Weren't men supposed to get caught up in anything close to sex? Damn it. He was very good at distracting her. Emma lowered her gaze, eyes searching his face, annoyed that he was still incredibly attractive with his hair whipped up like that. While she was gasping for air, his cheeks were only slightly flushed. She assumed she looked like shit, and he was a statue in comparison.

He sighed, breath tickling her skin. "You're trouble, you know that? I know you're stubborn, but ignoring common sense?"

"It's called escaping."

"It was an attempt. You make it sound like it was a success."

"It would've been if you'd just-"

"What?"

"Did you not like what I was doing to you?" she asked, speaking quickly to try and minimize the embarrassment.

"Yes."

"Yes you did, or yes you didn't? You're rather cryptic."

"Yes I did."

"So why did you end it?"

"She doesn't have to ask if I love her. So you're not her; right now."

"That's weird. You don't look like someone who handles monogamy well."

"I handle it."

"What, are you going to open a tea shop with her, or something?"

" I talked to her about that."

"Are you serious right now? I can't tell, I just-you don't move your face. But a tea shop sounds...well, it's-yea."

He shrugged, silence ending the conversation, hand clamping harder around her elbow as he led her forward. She walked alongside him back to the barn, sitting with a huff. Levi sat right beside her, arms crossed over his chest.

* * *

_Shaped like a figure eight who trusts pretty girls anyway?. And I can't recall the last time I took advice from anyone. I'm sure I'll be the death of me And I can't recall the last time I took love from anyone; I called daddy, who's got one anyway? Not me._

* * *

Levi tossed crude arrows onto a pile of weapons in front of him, rubbing the back of his head as he examined the somewhat lackluster pile. How the hell were they supposed to get into the Central Military Police's compound with this sorry shit? And yes, the compound would have a armory somewhere, but it was under lock and key, and who the fuck in the group of children would have the sense to complete the retrieval and door opening? Armin, maybe, but Levi swore the kid was scared of his own shadow sometimes, and the events of yesterday seemed to have shaken him to his core. Jean, no; flatly so. The boy might have advanced 3D gear maneuvering, but he'd hesitated the day before when his life was in danger, and he'd fare better in the combat arena

Sasha, no; he'd need her marksmanship abilities on the rampart as soon as possible. Connie was an option, now that he thought about it. The kid was small and intelligent enough to handle himself, so the option was up in the air. Mikasa; like hell he'd sideline her on a task like looking for potions. She didn't need weapon refills, same as him, and she could carry on through hell and high water. So Connie and Armin might be a good pair, maybe.

Zoe passed him, holding a stack of logs in her arms. Levi shifted to watch her go, perturbed by the lack of a smile and animation in her. She wasn't Zoe anymore. She'd lost the memories that made her Zoe; lost the meaning behind her scars, maybe. They'd stolen her from him in the most creative way, and he had to give Kenny credit for that.

"Commander Roth?" the black haired boy asked, and Zoe turned to him. "Mario, Mario Freudenburg."

Zoe narrowed her eyes, mouth parting as if she'd say something. She closed it with a snap, jogging away from the clearing towards the area where Sasha was fletching.

"She's had her memory altered," Levi supplied dryly, eyes sweeping over the boy. "Stop stalling, tell us what we need to know. Jean got hit in the head because of you, so prove your worth."

"Memory altered?" Mario echoed.

"Yes."

Hitch, the girl with the chin length wavy hair spoke up, voice strong despite a trembling hand, "I've seen that happen before."

"Have you?" Levi asked. He knew better than to allow any kind of hope to run through him.

"Yes, they...forgot to close the door, and I caught a little glimpse."

"How do you reverse it?"

"It's a quick and easy remedy, really. Most of the memory alteration isn't meant to last long. Mostly because the person can't operate under the altering for long, especially if it's a full wipe of everything besides basic abilities. I've heard they kind of snap because of it."

Levi wasn't happy that he had to hear that. "Can you describe the look of the potion?"

"it looks like a nettle tea sort of thing, really. Just, much more green."

"How do you know?"

"I mean, they were testing it out on a couple of people, really. The Central Military Police uses us too much to hide everything. We're not stupid."

"Just ineffectual?"

Hitch glared, and turned her nose up at him. Levi turned his attention back to Mario. He watched Zoe out of the corner of his eye, resisting a sigh. She'd spoiled him with gentle touches and kisses, easing his tension at the best moments, little things like her steady gaze doing wonders for him. And now all that was gone; permanently if the remedy didn't work. Levi wasn't sure he could handle that without help from a bottle. Maybe he was destined to turn out like Pixis, haunted by the images at the bottom of various alcohol containers.

Levi assumed Erwin would have words like, an end can be a start, to be applied, but he hardly knew what love was when she wasn't apart of the equation. He set a hand to his temple pacing forward, path wavering on the way to her. Zoe looked up as he moved towards him, and he relaxed instinctively, though words stalled in his throat. What was he supposed to say to someone who didn't know him?

He leaned against the tree next to her, eyelids heavy with exhaustion that didn't really call for sleep.

"Just because you're good looking doesn't mean you can just lean and stare," Zoe said, side eyeing him as she employed some of her more critical sarcasm.

"I think I will."

Even if she wasn't 'Zoe' anymore, the bare roots of her personality still remained. That's what he enjoyed, that sarcasm, the stubbornness, the incredible lack of stealth and various social skills. She wasn't just his equivalent, she seemed to slot perfectly into his life. Always had. And he was loathe to forfeit that comfort, so used to it after all the years he knew her. He'd been pampered, maybe. All his efforts to not get close, to not feel something for, had failed spectacular.

She rolled her eyes off to the side, and walked a good ways, but he saw a smile on her lips. As always, it made his day a bit more bearable, even though he had to demonstrate how to properly tip arrows more than three times. It was like him having to tell Hanji to leave him alone three times.

* * *

-break-

"Captain!" Armin shouted, waving at him.

Levi brought his fist down on the man's face, flooring him before he brought his foot down on the man's ankle, making sure he was suitably hobbled. He stepped off towards Armin, noticing Zoe's presence at the small blonde's side. He'd bound her wrists again just in case, getting over the fact he usually trusted her. Armin turned, striding fast down the hallway.

"where are we going?" Levi asked, making sure Zoe walked in front of him.

"Captain, I think I found the chemicals room. And from what you told me, I think this might be it."

Armin grabbed a vial of green liquid from the shelf, holding it up for him. Levi inspected it closely before he snatched it from Armin's small hand, grabbed Zoe's in his, almost sprinting back down the corridor, finding the man with the apron he'd kicked a few moments ago. The man looked something like a scholar, when compared to the other Central Military Police, monocle broken beside him. He was going to explore all of his options, and this seemed like the best one.

"Oi, get the fuck up," Levi snapped, lip curling as he nudged the man with his foot. "Can you hear me?"

Monocle-man cracked his eye open as best he could, Levi's hand print clearly defined on the side of his face. "What-aren't you done with us?"

"Shut up, and tell me what this is," Levi shook the vial in front of his face.

A bedraggled cough and wheeze from monocle-man followed as if cued. "I can't-"

LEvi's hand shot out, gripped the man's collar, raising the considerably larger man off the ground, adrenaline fueling him anew. "_Tell me_ what the shit this is. I don't have the time right now to be patient. She's had her mind fucked with by some of your cohorts, and guess who gets to clean up their shit?" Levi gave the man a good rattle, watching his face turn red.

"Let me go-!"

"Tell me."

The man struggled, legs churning the air under him, finally stopping when Levi gave him another shake, the tint of his face steadily shifting towards purple now. Maybe maroon was the right color at the moment; he wasn't sure. Zoe was right within reach, and if this position was going to clear up her issues, then he'd do almost anything to get it. He'd wring the man out if he had to. Levi wasn't particularly vexed by his decisions, whether they were too violent or not. He cared about his results. And in this case, he'd promised her the world. Levi wasn't looking to break another of his promises.

"It's the antidote, alright? Don't kill me, please, please; I swear it's the right one. Just give her a couple tablespoons with water, and she should recover her memories over 2 hours; maybe sooner."

Levi dropped the man before he really finished his speech, grasping Zoe's hand again, pulling her along with him back into the room. He yanked all of the tools off the shelf, patting through them until he found the tablespoon measure, unscrewing his waterskin to put the medicine into it, pressing it into her hands. She hesitated before she drank it, returning it to him empty.

Her voice was small, a flickering, almost burned out candle the only thing to illuminate her, "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"No," Levi said, wanting to hold her, do something to assure himself that she was still there, as she'd been reduced to a ghost of herself. "But I'm trying it. Okay?"

She nodded, and reached for him, fingers feathering over the exposed skin of his arm. The gentle intimacy the touch afforded made hope blossom within him. But he never trusted hope.

He reached for her, wrapping his arms tight around her just as the candle went out. Since he didn't see her, it was easier to imagine that she was Zoe again. That her eyes held the same warmth as Zoe.

* * *

_And I'm a man of my word, that I got nothing at all. So tell me now does it hurt, or is it too late? I'm a man of my law, I gotta keep my weight up; But who will lean if I fall? But never mind, I'm fly, you know_


	25. These Walls

_Walls telling me they full of pain, resentment, need someone to live in them just to relieve tension. Me? I'm just a tenant. My lord said these walls vacant more than a minute. These walls are vulnerable, exclamation; Interior pink, color coordinated; I interrogated every nook and cranny, I mean it's still amazing before they couldn't stand me. These walls want to cry tears, these walls happier when I'm here, these walls never could hold up, everytime I come around demolition might crush._

* * *

Zoe surfaced, and stopped seeing the world from the bottom of a well, images no longer distorted, voices far away. She called for Levi, voice feeling scratchy as she fought to regain some purchase in the crash of images from her nightmare. The one where she had battled Levi and his team; where she'd...forgotten him, and couldn't see him anymore. Levi bent, lowering his face to hers, eyes flickering over her face, waiting for her to say something.

She shifted slightly, straining under an invisible weight, limbs heavy as she struggled to use them properly. Zoe wanted to reach for him, do something that would ease the concern in his eyes, mirrored in everyone's that stood near him, peering at her from their vantage points. She'd rather be alone with him, somewhere she could panic without worrying what others thought about her, even if she'd been near them for a good month, and their lack of general importance in her life. But at least she had her panicked stream of consciousness back, the crushing self doubt that threatened to floor her again.

He finally spoke, voice low as if to tell her a secret, "Is it you?"

"Yea." she clung to the first clear sound of his voice in weeks, nodding her head.

His lips twitched, smile tugging at the corner of them. "Yea?"

She wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his neck, disregarding the fact that this was no doubt a bad time. Zoe always picked the worst times, she knew, but right now, she needed him against her. Zoe breathed him in deep, grateful he was close to her again, or at least, where she had control. She'd felt like a marionette, moving on strings she couldn't control. Her breath rattled from her lungs now, and pulled away from him to gather her emotions. The way she held herself now was odd, barely kneeling with her back hunched, but she didn't mind how she looked, only how secure she was feeling at the moment.

Zoe could breath again, yes; she wasn't drowning anymore, as she had struggled to a surface that never seemed to be there. Still, she was shaken by the lack of agency that'd occupied the past week, and the troubling images the greeted her. He dropped to his knee, alone among his seemingly preoccupied squad members, Hanji standing close by, providing answers to the questions the children doled out.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, eyes searching her face.

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay."

He held out his hand, gripped her elbow when she held out her arm, pulling her off the ground with some force. Levi kept his hand in her elbow, pulling her far off to the side, where she could hardly hear the other's conversations.

"I can remember everything they did to me before they drugged me," she said, body wracked with shakes as she allowed her nerves to take her, "I can't-They put me in a room with snakes, Levi, you know I can't do snakes, and then they fucked up-fucked up my ears." Zoe moved a trembling hand to her ear, allowed him to see the barely healed over areas. "They almost drowned me, Levi, and they screwed with Jay and Nathan." She leaned against the tree behind her. "Fuck," she cursed. "It was the worst because of that. They're my soldiers, and I wasn't able to protect them. I have to find them, Levi, and give them that antidote."

She made to walk away, not really knowing where she was headed, and he reached for her, spun her back to him. "Hey, where are you going?"

"To find them."

"Zoe, you can't do that right now. Kenny the Ripper, or what ever silly Captain title he's masquerading under, is still out there," he said, reeling her back in, holding her away by her shoulders. "Look at me right now. Now."

Zoe made a strong attempt to avoid his eyes, eventually allowing herself to make eye contact. She knew it was somewhat childish, but she didn't like the way the conversation was going. She owed something to Jay and Nathan, even if that debt was small when it came to Nathan. Jay on the other hand was...she couldn't leave him brainwashed like she had been. No one in his life cared for him as much as Levi did her, so she'd fill in right now.

"Levi, they need me."

"No, right now, you need to get better."

"I'm going to have a meltdown either way, Levi, and not knowing they're safe is going to make it worse."

"Fine. Fine, if that's what you have to do, then fine. We have to let Hanji collect information and weapons to fit a strategy so we can find Eren, but I think they're going to be at one of the Military Police compounds, and she's going to check as many as she can. Did they remain on your squad?"

"No, Kenny," she began, pressing two fingers to her temple, pain searing through her body at the attempt of bringing back memories. "He left them be on some odd orders, made them stay back because their memory manipulation was breaking at the seams."

"How did you notice the effect wore out?"

"They, or at least Jay from what I can remember, used my real name, and Kenny didn't let them stay a second longer. I don't know what they were planning on using me for, why I was more important to Kenny Ackerman."

"You're a talented fighter, it's fairly obvious in those terms."

"I think he was going to use me to lure you in."

"Makes sense. I'm sorry I've put a target on your head."

Zoe grimaced, nodding as she spoke, "It's not as if our relationship is intensely guarded."

"I think it is; who have you told?" Levi asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"For the people who've guessed it; Erwin, Sjeh, my nephew, and Hanji. I've told Jay directly, and Nathan knows because of you, mostly. Everyone in the MPs believes that we're not together, just two crackpots with defined morals. You know we keep it quiet for the most part; we did enough sneaking around in the beginning, I'd like to believe it actually counted for something."

"They missed the loud sex? You're not good at keeping quiet most of the time."

She reached out to shove him away, Levi barely rocking back on his heels, staying mostly stationary. His expression really didn't change, but his eyes were unusually gentle, brow no longer wrinkled in annoyance.

Silence rose up briefly between them before Levi sighed heavy, hand sliding quick over the back of his neck. "So, Nathan and Jay, you want to help them?"

"Yes."

"You're going to be the death of me," he started, sounding for all the world older than he was, "but, I suppose I could help. Make it all faster."

She hesitated before she spoke, "...Can you spare the time? I have an idea of what happened, but isn't helping me not a good idea?"

"If we hurry along the extensive operation at the compounds, I think we can pull it off. But you have to leave when I tell you. We can't waste anytime."

"I can do it alone."

"You can't linger anywhere. Do you know what just happened?"

She shook her head.

"Erwin and the rest pulled an uprising. Shit's out the window now, and you can't step in it," Levi said, brow heavy.

"And what about them? What if they-Levi I cannot handle the idea of my men taking any sort of torture that I might've been able to save them from."

"You can't save everyone, Zoe," he said, glaring at the ground now, foot tapping on the loose soil. He'd put space between them, hand on his hip. "They're just two people."

"Jay is one of my only friends, always has been. Nathan and I don't mesh well, but those two have gotten me out of binds in situations similar to Trost District's. I still owe them something, don't I?"

He sighed, but reached for her, pressing a brief kiss to her lips before he murmured, "You're lucky you're on my good side."

"I didn't know you had a good side."

"Take the compliment."

She leaned up on her toes, and kissed him, resting her back on the tree behind her, holding the bottom of his shirt, tugging it to bring him closer. His breath was audible as he sighed, relaxing into the next kiss, an arm looping around her waist. Zoe carded her fingers through his hair, his proximity working wonders for her. He'd been so far away recently, a muddy image from the hell she'd been stuck in, and she couldn't touch him, really feel him. Her muscles were still sore, from the residue of torture, and fighting Levi, but it didn't matter now.

"I missed you," she mumbled, lips brushing his as she spoke. "So much, and I'm so, so sorry I got captured. I tried to do too much."

He shook his head. "That doesn't matter anymore. Even if you did pull the dumbest move I've seen in awhile."

"I-it was dumb."

"I should've been there for you."

"No, I make my own choices, Levi. And you came after me; that's what important right now, okay?"

"But I'm still going to hurt him," he said, heavy-lidded eyes seeming much more threatening now. "Got it?"

"are you asking me?"

"I'm not. Just telling you."

She nosed in again, unable to keep a smile from her fingers briefly smoothed her hair back from her face, tilting her chin up before he leaned into kiss her. Levi's hands were hesitant, but that reality didn't last long, his grip on her tightening, pulling her closer. Levi watched her respond to him with half closed eyes, ghost of a smile on his lips whenever her breath hitched.

"I missed you too, you know," he murmured.

"Because of this?" she asked, again taking in his face as best she could in the semi-darkness, his gray eyes on hers.

"Yes."

"you're the worst."

Her hand glided over his soft skin, the hard muscle underneath it all providing a lovely contrast, knowing just how much she'd missed this as well. She hugged him close again, interrupting progress as she clung tight to him, caused him to muffle a chuckle into her skin, his arms back around her, a couple fingers still underneath her clothing. Levi pulled away, grabbing her hand briefly, dipping into kiss her cheek before he turned on his heel, heading back to the group.

Zoe sighed, sinking down the trunk of the tree, wrapping her arms around her knees as she rested on the ground, setting her forehead to them, taking the moment to breath. His touch had calmed her down, and the fact he was near by was helping as well, but she'd learned to be confident in herself before anything else. She knew having Jay and Nathan safe would help; she desperately needed to know they were as safe as she was so she could find some peace of mind.

With them; she didn't know what it was that'd concreted her allegiance to the both of them, more so with Jay, she had to admit. Despite Nathan's blunders, and her own spiral out of control that had brought them together for a moment, she'd still never wish his situation on anyone else. Even Kenny Ackerman didn't deserve to have his memories wiped, because she'd lost all of her identity.

All of her memories were wiped to a blank slate, leaving only the rough, shaky, one dimensional outline, and planting a terrible foundation. Her personality was sustained by her background, and she needed those lost experiences, recalling briefly the serious panic attacks she'd underwent, along with the lack of understanding Kenny displayed. She didn't have Jaz anymore, either; they'd wiped her brother from her memories, someone who'd been there for her when her anxiety became a stark reality.

Jaz had put himself subjacent to her in those situations, taught her how to breath with him. The position she held now was a trademark of her panic attacks around the house, even if 'the house' probably wasn't there anymore. Nothing was there; she just had her memories, one surfacing for the briefest moment.

_"Okay, so tell me how 3DMG works?" Jaz asked, keeping his focus on her. "Come on, you always love to talk about the mechanics of it, and since mom doesn't let you do that anymore…"_

_"H-Haven't I told you about that?"_

_Zoe cracked her eyes open, taking in her twin again, his light brown eyes familiar because they were hers, skin already darker than hers, even if summer had just begun. While she'd have prefered to be outside, her mother was forcing her to undertake the mind numbing task of sewing. Her mother would snap at her if she missed a loop with her crocheting hook, fingers trying to guide the hook through, but she just couldn't seem to manage it._

_"Okay, so what's the coolest thing about the 3D movement gear?"_

_She pushed her head into her folded arms, knees still clutched to her chest. "um, the blades are made from super-hard metal."_

_"I thought those were just regular metal."_

_Zoe shook her head, looking at him again, a faint smile on her face. It was always funny when people, and especially Jaz, were wrong. She breathed deep, reaching for his hand where it rested on the floor, placing hers over his._

And she wanted to keep those memories of her twin as long as she could.

Zoe stood soon, glancing to the dark sky, thinking one of her rather clever inside jokes to her brother, unsure as to why she still looked up to the sky, him, for some sort of guidance. She'd never put her confidence in an otherworldly entity, for some sort of higher social status; she was still struggling to find power in herself. And any power she'd accumulated seemed to have left her.

She stood up, walked quickly back to the group.

* * *

_Something sinister to it; Pendulum swinging slow, a degenerate moving, through the city with criminal stealth, welcome to enemy turf(..) Get up off the pavement brush the dirt up off my psyche, (psyche, psyche)_

* * *

She slipped between the gaping bars of the portcullis, hardly stopping to ponder at her new overly slim size, going for the next obstacle instead. Her muscles ached under the new strain, protesting terribly. She'd never felt this kind of fatigue, so deeply settled into her bones she wondered if she would ever rid herself of it.

Levi helped her raise herself up, eyebrows knitted with unspoken concern, slipping up the slight incline with ease. His hand touched at her elbow, eyes locked on her, waiting for a slight nod to dispel his obvious tension. She felt that wouldn't do, as Hanji's loud and annoying distraction wasn't going to last, as the military police wouldn't put up with it for very long.

Zoe moved to the cells, walk turning into a jog, steps echoing hollowly on the stones beneath her, finally giving up any measured pace and sprinting. Her head was turned, watching the cells blur beside her, panic rising to her throat. She could hardly imagine what had been done to them, if they'd been tossed in here without any sort of help as the drug left their systems. Kenny Ackerman had been the first to see the cracks in their memory manipulation, as they'd not been given another dose in weeks. She did know where they'd been sent, and she'd been only slightly lucky to not suffer the same fate.

She saw red hair a bit ahead and slowed, grasping a bar to hold herself up, breath catching in her throat. "Nathan."

He looked up to that name, cheeks pale and sallow, a hand at his temple, squinting through some sort of pain. "Commander?"

"Where's Jay?" she asked, glancing to Levi as he went through his lock picking set, holding a slim metal piece between his lips. "Levi's going to unlock you, but I need to know where Jay is."

"Couple blocks down," Nathan said, groaning in pain as he shifted to point down the hallway. "tell me someone brought water, I can barely think straight as I is-it, I meant, and," Nathan left off, staring, dazed, at the wall opposite his cell, jaw sagging, any effort to continue talking vanishing.

Zoe moved away, walking towards the indicated direction, Jay coming into her field of vision. Her knees threatened to buckle under her, Zoe's world spinning out of focus, falling to one knee, pulling at the bars in a silly attempt to open the door. She looked towards Levi, barely managing to say his name, but he jogged to her, opening the door with a level of expertise that she would've complimented in any other situation.

She scrambled into the cell, crashing into Jay's generally thin frame, hugging the man too tight. Jay made a noise, and he leaned back for a moment to give her a strange look, her name forming on his lips. In response, she squeezed him harder, hating that she was blinking back tears; but this was her friend, her best friend, and Zoe didn't allow herself friends in the slightest, not since she'd joined the military, and a good space of time before that.

"How'd you find me?" Jay asked, and Zoe finally relented, sitting back on her heels. "Why did you find me, Commander?"

"Why?"

Jay took a deep breath, and Zoe leaned back, knowing he was going to rush out a sentence, hands fisted on his knees where he knelt in front of her. "I have to assume you have something better to do, I cannot be worth the time, or energy you and Captain Levi have put forth- "

"Shut up."

"What?" He squinted at her, the dim light of the cell block making it difficult for her to see his complete reaction.

"Shut up, Jay," she said, grasping one of his hands in both of hers. "You've come back for me numerous times when orders said otherwise, so here I am."

"Also, it was on the way, and we needed supplies," Levi spoke from where he leaned on the opposite wall, Nathan sitting close. "That's an important fact."

Jay's exhaustion was possibly a factor in him not putting up a serious fight, but he seemed more put together than Nathan, limping along next to her without help. Nathan leaned on Levi for support, despite LEvi's evident annoyance with this situation, keeping a steady pace beside them. Maybe Nathan was leaning too much on Levi, just to be as much as an asshole as possible in this situation.

"Your memories, have they come back?" Zoe asked Jay and Nathan as the moonlit doorway came into view.

"Yes, for the most part," Jay responded, "My headache seems to be permanent of course, but hopefully, it'll pass. Flashes of those memories I have while under the influence come with searing pain and...I need to converse with you privately beyond this, Commander, for a second at least, because I remember what I- what we did to you."

Levi cleared his throat, shoving Nathan off him as they stepped into the courtyard before he spoke. "I'll leave you to that; I'm going to collect my squad, I'm sure Hanji is done, and I'll give you six minutes; come or not, it doesn't matter to the rest," Levi started off towards the portcullis entrance, turning slightly to continue haltingly, "and to me, of course. Make your own choice."

Jay gave him a quick nod, focusing on Zoe now. Nathan completed their half circle arrangement, standing as still as usual, contrasted by Jay's nervous shuffling to the otherside of her. The redhead held out his hand, not seeming as large as she remembered, and she took it, giving him a firm shake, know this was his thanks, and perhaps an apology as well. Between Jay and Nathan, the former handled the formal situations, while Nathan would deal out brute strength when needed.

"I'm not sure what to say," Jay began, crossing his arms tight over his chest, shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes. She'd never seen his hair as long as it was now, nor his clothes as disheveled, his nails caked with mud, pale skin muddled with bruises that were yellow and purple in the dim lighting. Zoe nodded, desperate to collapse into a week long sleep, preferably being waited on by Levi, but that was a wild fantasy for a reason.

"I've got something, actually," Nathan said, raising his hand as if they were at a meeting, and she nodded to him. "I'm sorry. I could kind of see what I was doing to you, and you gotta know I didn't meant to do that to ya, Commander Roth, I feel like you might think I wanted to, but fuck no; never." Nathan shook his head, matted hair barely moving. "Never, got it? I can't make that clear enough. You've gotta know I'll have nightmares for a good while. I had no control, and those blurry images get clearer and clearer." His shoulders shook along with a mirthless chuckle, breaking off to cough into the crook his his elbow, keeping his eyes on her when he regained control. "I'm sorry. I'm gonna hop on that cart back to Sina with the Survey Corps, put up with those crackpots for a couple minutes until Jay joins me. His talking is better when he's alone with someone else."

With a tiny stoop that might've counted for a bow, NAthan was gone, limping towards the portcullis entrance where the two carts were settled, hopping as smoothly as possible into cart. Jay made an odd movement, arms extended, wrapping her in a awkward, but tight hug. They'd never hugged before this, excusing one time, or two, but those moments hadn't been any better, maybe even more oddly executed.

"I couldn't have lived with myself if you hadn't come back, you know?" he mumbled, squeezing her to the point of asphyxiation for a moment. "I remember all of it, nothing is blurry, nothing at all. You're the only person who really accepted me, so I can't detach myself from those emotions, because you're a friend. I don't have friends."

She laughed, nodding into his chest, feeling rather dwarfed, despite Jay's overly skinny state. "I don't have friends either."

"You're still my friend, right?" Jay asked, drawing away from her, his chin tipped down, head cocked to the side, like a dog who'd been kicked.

"Yes, Jay, of course."

He attempted a smile, white teeth displayed briefly to her, though it was fairly threatening. "Good; great, I mean, that's excellent, it's nice to know you're still here. Now, you should go back to Captain Levi, who seems to really care about your presence."

"He said he didn't," Her remark was more of a joke than an actual statement.

Jay resisted an eye roll. "He can't keep a straight face."

"That's a lie. Have you seen him destroy people in poker? It's spectacular."

"Yea, but I'm good at detecting lies; that's why I win cards so much,," Jay said, tapping the side of his nose, the odd 'keep a secret' gesture making her heart warm. "Come back safe, Commander."

She reached for him again, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, patting him roughly on his back (more like his shoulders because reaching his back wasn't an option, she was short in every aspect). He coughed in response, returning the hug, and Zoe sighed, reluctant to let him go. Still, she was pushing her time allotment, and she couldn't ignore Levi's eyes on her.

"You too," she mumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, but still...just meet up with me when I come back, okay?" Zoe drew away slowly as she finished her request, gripping his hands in hers before she stepped back. "I think you should cook for me, because according to reports I can't cook."

Jay gave her an instant response, on the heels of her statement, practiced and earnest as ever, "You can cook."

"Really?"

He nodded, and she smiled wide, waving him goodbye as they separated between the wagons, Zoe getting unneeded help from Levi to board their wagon. She snuggled smugly into a corner of the wagon, tracking Levi as he moved, finishing the final touches to their carry ons. Zoe eventually slipped off the wagon to help him, though he flatly refused to let her lift anything he didn't check, helping her into her 3D gear, as Jean and Connie of his squad watched in awe, mouths wide as his fingers trailed too low on certain parts of his buckling moves. When she gave him a little elbow, they both flinched, ducking behind the wagon for an instant.

Levi finally raised his eyes to their position, sighing heavily, "Don't you two have somewhere to be right now?"

"Hanji said she was done-" Connie said, raising his hand tentatively.

"When have I ever ordered you to take Hanji seriously?"

The two boys considered that statement, then shuffled off in the general direction Hanji was. Levi raised his hand to her cheek for a moment, drawing her attention to him as he brushed invisible dirt from her sleeve, leaning in for a quick kiss.

"Are you happy?" He asked. "Now that you've seen them?"

"Yes," she said, flashing him a smile before adding, with a rather juvenile poke at his chest, "and according to Jay, I can cook."

"You've got to let that idea go, it's shitty."

"I think you should reconsider that answer."

He shook his head, smile tugging at his lips before he returned to his normal flat, "What did the government have you doing? What you couldn't tell me once? Tell me now."

Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, shrugging her shoulders as she did. She remembered how pissed he'd been that she hadn't been able to tell him what had spoiled their outing. Still, the bid for secrecy had been so well enforced, that even now, after the very real betrayal the Central Government had brought on her, she didn't want to tell him anything. There was so much trust between them, but she couldn't seem to dredge up the bravery to tell him about her activity.

She'd thought she'd take it to her grave, and with death so recently presenting itself to her, she didn't want anything to be left unspoken between them. He'd said he loved her; something she'd resolved to not hear, and to be happy not hearing it, and she was much better off hearing it once than not all, because his feelings spoke louder now. So, she should just tell him, fuck redacted words guarded under irrelevant lock and key. It seemed crazy, she just _couldn't. _

"I don't know, Levi, it's not-I don't know."

Levi waved her words away, scowling at her, no doubt annoyed with her lack of trust, still. "You're stronger than ever; I saw your performance during Trost, you, Jay, and Nathan, shouldn't have been that polished taking on Titans. And then the shitty female titan? If you hadn't let one little thing distract you, you could've slowed her down drastically, so don't 'don't know' me."

"I'm strong without practice, thank you," she said, gazing down at her feet before she glared up at him through her fringe.

"Oi, Zoe, listen; you are, but you've been tested, and you've come through it. Not everyone gets through it, so don't bullshit me, tell me what happened."

"It was fairly safe, it wasn't- I just don't know what it was," Zoe said, gazing up at the night sky, pressing her lips tight together.

"Yes, you have to have an idea, because you're you, and you observe," Levi stated, brushing imaginary dirt off his shirt. "You're my equivalent."

"Hardly, Levi, you're humanity's strongest soldier."

He scoffed. "Propaganda. And the government is done, Zoe."

It had to be done. She wanted the Central MP Office burned, and HQ weeded out, with all the useless leeches plucked and thrown under boot. Did she need a representation of that destruction before she told him anything? Would her words come when the confidential stamped documents were firmly eradicated, so they couldn't find her one remaining family member? She'd trusted Levi with her body, her life, why wasn't that trust spreading to her work?

"Fine," she said, clasping her hands behind her back,deciding to take this as a debriefing of some sort. "The government had us chaperoning Central Military Police into Wall Maria territory, just outside of a small district; name redacted. It was a thirty minute or so ride to the area, where they'd go into a trap door area, some sort of basement, but there wasn't a house around, ruined. So it was built in, and we have to assume that the government lost some assets behind the wall, and it has to be one of them. Every other week, I'd risk my men's lives to provide the Central MPs safe passage-"

"And none of this convinced you to drop everything and come to me," Levi interjected, interrupting her entire flow without any consideration, eyebrows raised.

She would've given him a less that playful slap, but his subordinates were still close, so she tightened her hand in a fist, glaring at him. Levi's eyes went to her fist, not taking her quiet threat seriously, per usual. Zoe breathed deep, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, hoping her side-eye had done enough to deter further interruptions.

"They'd go into the trapdoor, and wouldn't come out for an half an hour, at least. One time, at the start of it, I was sure we were there for three hours, and in that space of time, we dealt with more titans than I think most of my men, who hadn't been involved in the wall Maria debacle, had seen in their lives. We lost one man, out of the 18 of us, and most of us were injured, even myself, when a variant we thought was down and dead grasped me," Zoe lifted her shirt from her straps, pulling it up to her bra line, touching the burn muddled skin gingerly, the splotch close to her hip twinging. "and then the normal crashing through bushes cuts those exchanges deal out. After that the time spent out was reduced to two hour excursions at most, but they always liked to push it to piss us off. Stalling in Titan Territory," Zoe sighed, twisting her fingers slightly as she considered the fate they could've encountered.

There'd been many times her nerves had spiked when she thought her 3DMG wouldn't meet her demands, and after that one man had been killed, she'd actually gone over the Central MP's head to Zacklay. She supposed that she should've known that someone from the Central MPs would've been there to glare at her from behind Zacklay's chair, as the Commander read a disclaimer directly from a sheet. Zacklay's words were flat, and he looked generally agitated by the Central MP not sitting in front of his desk, in the clearly indicated chair next to hers.

Zoe talked with her hands as she continued, "I think it was some sort of research lab, not a serial killer lockup, because they'd drag crates of equipment from the industrial districts there, mainly glassblowing companies, so I think they'd stock it. And that apothecary I hooked up with a job and my nephew would show me his order forms, for an exaggerated amount of herbs around the time we went out, so I think they stuck some scientist down there, I can't fathom what actually went on, they gloss over everything important. Furthermore, a couple of passed out 'criminals' were included. Bound tight in ropes, bag always over their faces, the weaving worn enough to get a rough judgement of their faces, though. They were mostly older men, I'm pretty sure, and I think one was an artisan of some sort. They were too lax one time, left the old man in only ropes, no bag, and I knew the rumors that had popped up around him, that he was an inventor. I just can't...it was a big cover up, but dammit, they had a good location. And that's all I know, really, vague shit, I'm sorry."

"It's better than nothing," he said, reaching for her, hand hesitating on her shoulder before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. "How many hugs have you had today, then?"

"Too many now, I think."

His public hugs were still intensely odd at the start, as Levi tried to relax enough to not squeeze her threateningly against him as if he was going to crush her. Back in training, Isabel had always whined when he pulled her into a rare hug, and he'd mutter about how it was on purpose before rubbing his knuckles against the top of her head. Thankfully, she didn't have to deal with that sort of roughness, and he relaxed enough for her, the action still very tight, but she didn't mind.

Hanji's melodramatic sigh had Levi pulling away from her, leveling his glare towards the woman, an effort that never seemed to stop her from continuing her sentences. "Adorable, really, Levi, relationship goals, and all that."

"Don't start four-eyes," Levi hissed, walking to grab the reigns of his horse, settled next to a couple other saddled mares. "Zoe, you're riding next to the cart, I need you to be ready for battle; with that old squad of yours."

Zoe shook her head. "They were never my squad, you know?"

"Kenny probably didn't disclose any information," Levi said, faint amusement lacing his voice. "What a tight-ass; you'd think he'd make things easier for us."

"jokes now?"

"It's a fact, not a joke."

Levi swung up into his saddle, face still at it's neutral zero as he gathered his troops. Jean and Connie lugged out a number of barrels, rolling them onto the wagon with a bit of help from Mikasa. Armin jogged out with an extra canister of gunpowder, clambering into the wagon along with Hanji, Connie, and Mikasa, setting it in a secure location before he settled behind the reigns, easing the horses into a brisk trot, behind two torches carried by two of the (she assumed) ex-MPs Marlo and Hitch on horseback.

"Do you think you should be getting back?" Hanji asked as they pulled out of the thoroughly plundered compound, something of final bastion of the Central MPs, considering they'd already decimated their ranks at HQ. "I know the political wheels are turning, and you should be there to come out on top."

Zoe shrugged, casting a glance over her shoulder towards Levi. "I can't really pinpoint when I stopped caring about politics, but…"

"You're staying for Captain short stuff over there, I understand."

"I know he doesn't need me, really," she rushed out, flashing a bland smile towards Hanji, noticing acutely how the rest of the cart group was listening in on the conversation.

"That little guy doesn't know what he needs."

"What was that, four-eyes?" Levi asked, the corner of his left eye giving that telltale twitch of annoyance, reserved for Hanji. "Speak up."

Hanji cleared her throat, faking a cough. "I'm fine, I was told to watch my volume. Got something of a cold."

"Those symptoms and advice seemed to crop up fast, huh, Hanji?"

"As only you know, Captain Levi." Hanji gave him one of her brighter smiles, eyes hidden behind the moon's reflection in her glasses.

She led an extra horse along side of her, same as Jean and Levi, Sasha leading up the back of the group. The group made excellent progress on the bendy, grown over road, getting lost a bit at least twice. Levi made Hitch, Margo, and Zoe go together up in the first try and ask for directions, their MP jackets making them a friend to these inner Wall Sina residents. Zoe didn't like talking to the person they met, standing stock still between her subordinates. They motioned towards a map she held out for them, annoyed that she only came up to Hitch's shoulder.

The second time they got turned around, Hitch and Marlo went up alone, and Zoe swung herself up into the cart for a quick debriefing.

"Once we get there, you guys will have no time for pause or mistake in those caves. And as cramped as they are, that's not even close to the real threat. Get it? It's Kenny the Ripper. If he's around, he will be the number one obstacle. In terms of the threat that he poses," Levi paused for a moment, searching for the correct description, "think of as if I were the enemy. No," Levi stopped himself before he continued, seemingly oblivious to the way his squad paled at the comparison, "with that weaponry he's more dangerous than I am to some extent."

"Then...it's impossible for us…" Sasha said, trailing off.

Connie spoke next, "Waiting to rejoin with the Army Corps is…"

"Absolutely impossible," Mikasa finished the group thought.

"That's right!" Connie turned to look Mikasa in her eyes, "it's impossible. If we wait till morning, Eren might get eaten!"

"But...from what the captain said, it doesn't seem like he has no weakness either," Armin said.

"Are you serious, Armin?" Jean asked.

"Yea, even if they had training, their real battle experience didn't start until yesterday," Hanji said, glancing to Levi as she continued. "But, even though you lived together, you have no information about Kenny the Ripper; what's with that?"

"My bad...yesterday was the first time I even heard his full name," Levi murmured before looking to Mikasa, seeming to glower a bit more. "Kenny Ackerman...A relation of yours, perhaps?"

Mikasa took a moment before she answered, "According to my parents, when they were alive, father's Ackerman family had been persecuted in the cities. Mother, who was Asian, her family lost its place in the cities too, because of their race. The two of them, both chased deep into the mountains at the edge of the wall, met one another, and became husband and wife. Even father had no idea why the Ackerman family had been persecuted. I didn't see any distinguishing features, like mother had, in him."

"You...Have you ever experienced a moment where it was like a power had awakened inside you?" Levi asked.

Zoe couldn't help but focus on Mikasa as intently as everyone else, waiting for her response. Was the girl connected to Levi? And by any simple logic, were they related?

"I have," Mikasa said.

"It seems Kenny Ackerman had a moment like that as well. At some time, in some moment, it was as if some stupendous power welled up within his body, and suddenly he knew what he had to do," Levi murmured, detaching himself from any eye contact as he continued. "I, as well, had a moment like that."

At that moment, Marlo and Hitch came back from the door, ending the conversation to move forward on their push to the church. It's spire soon crept into view on the horizon, and Zoe dropped back the needed moment to come level to Levi's horse, leaning in to nudge his shoulder, making brief eye contact with him. She hoped he'd get the message, find sometime to talk to her one on one like she wanted.

He did as soon as they were a clearing away from the church, settling down to make preparations for the foray into the underground caverns. While the others finished off the unloading of the carts, they stood to the side, standing as close as they usually did, heads bent slightly as they spoke in hushed voices.

"You felt comfortable telling them that?"

"Erwin knows this, same as you. Hanji talks too much, yes, but they needed the information. You, on the other hand, got the information from Farlan when he was tipsy, and then from me when you pried."

"I _confirmed_ it with you. Confirm sounds better than pried. Is there a possibility she's related to you?"

"Possibly, but that's not what I'm worried about, really."

"I understand that, I just barely know anything about you and Kenny, so I'm…"

"I'll fill you in after, Zoe."

"Full details, not Levi details."

He snorted, raising his eyebrow. "What are Levi details?"

"short, vaguely passive aggressive sentences that belong on file in some sort of dusty room at HQ."

"That's a dumb name, nevermind your definition," Levi said, brushing a leaf from her shoulder before he stepped towards the church, motioning at her to follow him. "I'll tell you, Zoe, don't think that I won't. I know we'll have time after this, if we can just clear this shit up, I think- never mind." He stopped briefly in front of the doors that led into the church, gaze level with hers. "I love you, you know?"

She couldn't help a smile, face warming as she responded quietly, "I love you too. Slightly."

"Slightly? What if I died right now, and you've left me with slightly?" Levi asked as shook his head, opening the rickety door for her.

"But you're not going to die."

"Neither are you."

They rejoined the group quickly enough, Hanji and Armin crouched around a lantern, while the rest were posted at the windows and doors of the church, doubling up on the lookout job. Marlo and Hitch were outside as the first line of defense; and she was sure the group honestly trusted the two MPs, no matter their present moral clarity. She understood that they may have mistrusted her at the start, but…

"There it is," Hanji said, plucking at the tattered rug that had covered the trapdoor, "A hidden entrance. Eren and the enemy should both be beyond this. Hopefully, the layout is as I had anticipated."

"I hope taking that roundabout path and bringing those souvenirs along was also not in vain," Levi murmured, turning to look at Armin, still fiddling with one of the barrels.

Armin finished a final tie off, shifting the cylinder to check on the other lines that crisscrossed it, the gas canisters firmly in place. "All right. The preparations are complete!"

"I see...Well then. So are you guys prepared to get your hands dirty as well?" Levi asked the room, and the ones on lookout turned slightly to meet his gaze. They all responded in their own ways, and Levi turned back to the trapdoor. "looking good."

He stood, kicking the rug further away from the trapdoor, checking his 3DMG. Marlo and Hitch were called in briefly by Hanji, who made sure the two of them knew what to do if anyone came to check on the area. Mikasa picked briefly at the scarf around her neck as she watched Jean pace to and fro, Armin still running his eyes over the cylinders they had rigged. The blonde's mouth moved without sound, and Zoe pulled her eyes away from the group to focus on herself.

Slowly, she circled her wrist with her hand, pad of her index finger on her veins, feeling her rapid heartbeat acutely. Zoe released her wrist, twisting her body to check on the straps that adorned her back, the clasp near her collarbone, and the ones on her thighs. She slid out her blades once, recalling the anti-human gear, how odd it had felt on her, compared to the 3DMG, relieved to have it back.

And now she had the chance of revenge? As if she wasn't going to be one of the first into the cavern.

"Zoe," Hanji called, motioning her over, Levi and Mikasa standing close to the bespectacled woman. "I think the frontal charge will be better with you a moment behind. We can't waste someone with serious battle experience."

Levi nodded, speaking quickly, "You'll split off with me, we have to spread out; we're still unsure of their numbers, but with a wide sweep, we should be able to pinpoint them, and adjust our strategy."

"Okay."

The trap door opened down to a corridor, the group moving slowly along it, dragging their barrels with them. Sasha held her bow at the ready, oil soaked cloth around the tip of an arrow, ready to be lit by the torch they carried to light their way. Armin and Hanji set them selves into place, waiting for Connie to kick away the door. Connie looked behind himself, waiting for a nod for Hanji, executing his kick in the next moment. Hanji and Armin sent over their barrels, Connie shoving the third down before stepping away to let Levi, Mikasa, and Zoe sprint past, down the stairs that led into the cavern.

Armin took the torch from Jean as Zoe passed them, lighting Sasha's arrow, the girl's precision carrying their plans through as the barrel blew up. Zoe put her arm up to block as much heat and light as she could, the ground beneath her feet rumbling before she took to the air, a beat behind Levi and Mikasa.

"THEY'VE BROKEN IN," one of the enemies shouted, heralding a quick follow up of, "SHOOT THEM DOWN!"

* * *

_Black rocks and shoreline sand; Still that summer I cannot bare. And I wipe the sand of my arms, the Spanish Sahara, the place that you'd wanna, leave the horror here, forget the horror here, forget the horror here; leave it all down here, it's future rust and then it's future dust._


	26. Internal Bleeding

_I'm fleeting thoughts on a leash, for the moment, (...); I've been alone in my shit for the longest. Snakes sliding in the street….Mama taught me how to not be like the bodies lying in them_

* * *

The trap door opened down to a corridor, the group moving slowly along it, dragging their barrels with them. Sasha held her bow at the ready, oil soaked cloth around the tip of an arrow, ready to be lit by the torch they carried to light their way. ARmin and Hanji set them selves into place, waiting for Connie to kick away the door. Connie looked behind himself, waiting for a nod for Hanji, executing his kick in the next moment. Hanji and Armin sent over their barrels, Connie shoving the third down before stepping away to let Levi, Mikasa, and Zoe sprint past.

Armin took the torch from Jean as Zoe passed them, lighting Sasha's arrow, the girl's precision carrying their plans through as the barrel blew up. Zoe put her arm up to block as much heat and light as she could, the ground beneath her feet rumbling before she took to the air, a beat behind Levi and Mikasa.

"THEY'VE BROKEN IN," one of the enemies shouted, heralding a quick follow up of, "SHOOT THEM DOWN!"

Signal flares shot past Zoe, Levi, and Mikasa, smoke filling the air. The more smoke, the more difficult it was for them, moving through the air without guns, to be targeted. It was an easy plan to see through, and there was no remedy to a place that had no feasible way of ventilation, even if the space was as large as it was proving to be.

Huge, naturally formed columns stretched from floor to ceiling of the caverns, and members of the Central MP anti-human squad were dotted on platforms on the pillars, all close to the ceiling. Zoe counted them as best she could as she zipped past them, knowing the others in the air were doing this was well. 32, maybe, 36? More than 30, definitely, or maybe she was overestimating, but overestimation was better than taking the enemy on without greeting their true threat.

"35 of them!" Levi's voice rang clear as he barked his orders, close enough that she could see him. "holding up around the the pillars in front of you, near the ceiling! Resume the strategy! All of the enemies; smash them here!"

An unfamiliar, high-pitched voice screamed, "All units, disperse! unite and zero in on them one at a time!"

She allowed herself to drop through the air, twisting around the pillar to catch two of the slower members of the group, just exiting their platform, anchors attached to another pillar. A shot flew by her head before she was in too close for them to recover, cutting their lines, along with a few fingers, before she forced them to the very distant ground, looking down just long enough to examine their remains. Nathan would've agreed with this more brutal method, she went for another one flying through the air, catching him just as he fired an anchor to a gleaming pillar, trying desperately to redirect him self. Her blades flashed, slashing through his soft midriff, hot blood washing over her hand.

Gunshots went off around her, shouts and screams joining periodically, commands desperately given by the Central MP's squad leader often unintelligible. Mikasa whirled past her once, and Zoe had to admire her form, her maneuvers as advanced as most of Jean's, brushing close to Levi's style. She rested briefly halfway up a pillar, eyes on a clump of the anti-human squad members, preoccupied with going after Levi, shouting about the smoke.

The group lined up almost perfectly, and she shot from the pillar, using a liberal amount of gas from the pressurized cannister at her back to bolster her speed. Zoe needed all the speed she could gain to whirl between them like she wanted, without a serious redirection maneuver. To redirect would mean cutting out a good amount of momentum, and she wanted to change directions slightly by pushing off of her targets. She executed her idea with precision, tailoring it perfectly to high standards, then to her own standards.

And she loved this; the destruction of opposition who'd taken agency away from her, how her blades almost sang through the air, playing through the flesh of her targets, watching them drop like stones to the glossy floor of the caverns. nearby movement brought her attention to another two anti-human squad members swinging towards her, jaws locked in that certain way that assured they weren't going to be caught off guard anytime soon by speed. Zoe turned to face them both head on, able to gage the trajectory of most of their shots, trying to get closer so they couldn't reload or really fight, and blocked her slashes with the metal of their guns. She was locked in battle with one of them as the other dropped back to reload, knowing then that she had to move far away from the man to dodge the bullet, and not give him a steady target.

Zoe locked her legs around the thighs of her combatant, hands on his wrists next, weathering a heavy hit to her skull so she could shift him just enough so that the shot his fellow squad member fired off at that second would be absorbed by the large man. Her human shield did absorb damage, but she was still knocked severely off balance, the dead weight she had tightly grasped sending her fast to the ground. She had to wiggle to push him off, and another second was wasted on stabilizing herself before she shot an anchor out. Hanji's cry of pain distracted her next, Zoe turning her head just in time to catch the sight of her falling, clearly wounded.

Her still present enemy's shot was unavoidable,had she been paying attention or not, firing off a new sort of ammo that sent chunks of metal in a wide spray, most of the projectiles only clipping her, but a piece lodged in her shoulder. Zoe struggled through the pain to get further away from the man to launch something of a counter attack.

"NOW! ALL UNITS RETREAT!" the female anti-human squad leader ordered, relieving Zoe of her assailant. "GET AWAY FROM THIS SMOKE, AND THEN REGROUP!"

Levi flashed by her, catching up to her previous attacker, hacking him down quickly as the rest of Levi's squad followed his effort to catch the group. Levi slowed briefly to assign Armin to taking care of Hanji, shouting, "Armin, take care of Hanji! The rest, after the enemy!"

Zoe moved quickly through the air, following the remaining anti-human squad members, blown back as a burst of heat and light ripped through the cavern. Her heart dropped, knowing she could only imagine what was going on there, and that it had to be the worst possible thing to occur. She sped up, staying close behind Mikasa as she caught Historia, pushing the two to the wall, the wind force pressing her hair flat.

"You okay?" Mikasa asked the small blonde, grasping her shoulder to help her keep her position.

"Mikasa?" Historia said, holding her eyes open against the heat, dress pushed up her thighs.

Levi landed close, out on some sort bridge, holding out his hand. "Gimme the keys."

Mikasa handed him the keys to undo Eren's binding, Connie and Jean helping out Levi's effort. Zoe scanned the room as best she could, eyes narrowed to slits, her throbbing head not helping her attempt to gain situational awareness. Cracks in the ceiling were appearing, slowly but surely, the immense, half-formed titan close to them the obvious cause. It was giving off so much heat that she wondered if they'd be burned to crisps.

Connie was at Eren's feet, figuring out the keys on the key ring with as much haste he could muster, Jean and Levi's arms were coiled around Eren's suspended ones, holding him still.

"Hurry up, Connie," Levi said, glaring down at the boy, teeth gritted as he fought to hold his place.

Connie's response was panicked, words blurring together, "Dammit, which one of these keys is it?"

"You listening, shirtless wonder?" Jean addressed Eren. "It's not just the titans we have to deal with! we've got gun-wielding bad guys flying this way, too!"

"Well...most urgently, the roof's going to collapse," with Levi's words, the ceiling dropped a large chunk of it's structure to the floor.

"HURRY!" Jean commanded, nudging Connie with his foot.

Connie found the correct key in that instant, and the chains fell from Eren's person before a falling ceiling piece hit the bridge, the three jolting back from the large rock, dragging Eren with them. Levi, Connie, and Jean came back to the stair well that'd once led to the suspended bridge, all of their eyes on the titan that continued to give off shocking amounts of heat from its overlarge form.

Levi glared at Rod Reiss' warped form as he spoke, "Really, how shitty can this situation get? That thing looks bigger than the colossus titan."

The 'thing' finally shifted, the outlines of a skeleton in it's skin as it began to bring the cavern down, a steady thud echoing. Zoe cringed away from it, forehead on Levi's bicep, knowing that this had to be the place she'd die. She couldn't do anything, couldn't 'kill' the ceiling, all she could do was hope that somebody would do something. Oddly, she looked to Eren, hoping he'd take the initiative, as the only person who could stand against this sheer force.

Eren tossed his head back and groaned, closing his eyes as he spoke,"I'm sorry, everyone. I was useless...I've always been, from the very beginning. I was never humanity's great hope…" Eren's eyes opened, gaze drifting to a small vial on the floor, reading it's label out loud. "Armor?"

"What, now you want to play the tragic hero?" Jean asked from where he was almost glued to the wall, glaring down at Eren next to him, as unamused with Eren's disposition as usual. "You've been able to settle everything on your own before, haven't you?"

"You're being so timid.." Connie said, between Jean and Sasha on one side of Eren. "it's not the first time something like this has happened to you."

Sasha's loud voice reached even Zoe's ears, the roar of the Earth as it collapsed almost deafening, "This isn't exactly something I want to get used to though!"

"It'd be hard enough to escape even if we didn't have to carry Eren and Historia as we flew," Levi said, arm over her stomach now, pressing her harder against the wall.

"The heat from that titan...We'll probably be burned to death if we get any closer," Mikasa said.

"Still, what else can we do but fly through and hope for the best!" Sasha shouted.

Eren's voice was smaller than she'd ever heard it, used to very passionate speeches delivered at a high volume, "No...There's nowhere left to escape…"

"So you just want to wait here and hold hands until we either get crushed or burned to death? Because we're enemies of humanity?" Historia asked, standing next to Eren, taking in his blood coated face.

Levi breathed deep before he spoke, black hair whipped up in the gale, "I'm sorry for always doing this to you, but; Eren, do what you want to do."

Eren ran forward with a wail, the vial breaking in his teeth before the boy transformed, Zoe flinching from the bright flash of light. Levi's hand was clenched in her shirt, holding her closer as to shield her from whatever was coming. She opened one eye to look at him, his lips moving without apparent sound, standing firm with her.

Zoe knew the cavern was destroyed, no doubt taking them down with it, turned away from the action. When death didn't come, and almost all noise halted, she turned around, Levi's grasp on her midriff loosening, taking in the new terrain. Eren's titan form was stilled, various columns blocking the cavern from collapsing down on the group. The rocks the column held back were immense, and she knew she was staring her possible death in the face. She had to wonder if Kenny and the anti-human squad made it out.

"He did it, Zoe. He pulled off the skin hardening thing, shit," Levi said, hand going to his brow. "Fuck, I can't believe it."

"We're alive," she sighed, moving off the wall even if she swayed a bit. "Aren't you going to swing me around in joy?"

"I would, but you hate being spun."

"Good point."

Mikasa and Jean were at ERen's manifest, swinging up to his neck, breaking him out of his titan body soon enough. Levi sent Connie and Sasha up to search for a way out, waving Zoe after him as they scoured the the rocks, touching at the columns Eren had made. Levi's hand rubbed over the back of his head, sliding his hand into his hair, giving a soft 'tsk' before he turned around to her.

"Are you still going to say slightly whenever you say you love me?"

"Maybe."

For a moment, his frown lines vanished, a turning up, speaking once he was finished with expressions, "Fucking ridiculous you were going to be the last thing I thought about, Zoe."

She looked over her shoulder at him, adrenaline rushing from her limbs, leaving them heavy, wanting desperately to relax into his embrace. Right now, that'd be the best feeling ever; heaven, even, if she would chose to be dramatic. Zoe didn't really believe in an afterlife, confronting her own mortality. Her lack of belief in a heaven made her fight a bit harder to stay in this life, where she was sure she'd be close to him.

And maybe if (when) they got back to Wall Maria...if Eren's new power could seal the hole...she might believe in something.

"Captain!" Sasha shouted, from her ceiling spot, apparently done finding a suitable route out with Connie as she said, "we found an exit."

"Well done," Levi said, tipping his head up to watch Sasha descend.

Sometimes, the 3DMG's wire looked so flimsy, just a simple, silver strand suspending you in the air. But it was the only thing she'd depended on for a while, then, and the gear was one of the only constants in her life. She would probably die in one, she assumed.

Sasha dropped to the floor, jogging over to where Jean, Mikasa, and Eren had collected close to her and Levi. "Ah; Eren. You managed to dig out of that!"

"It took some work though, " Jean said, kicking fallen chunks of Eren's hardened titan off to the side.

Sasha sank to her knees with a bow, forehead to the glossy floor. Zoe looked to Levi, confused that a female from one of those woods located clans, the ones who didn't seem to speak her form of language, warping it to suite their own needs, was bowing so formally.. She'd bad some rather bad prejudices against Sasha's people before she'd entered the military, all of them planted by her mother, helped along by her father's tacit agreement.

Sasha spoke from her position on the ground, "Thanks to you, we're safe!" she wiped tears from her eyes as she continued, "But to be honest, when I saw you wail and run in that creepy way, I thought it was the end..that we were all done for… I thought, 'What the hell's that crying wuss doing, come on, pull yourself together'."

"This is.." Eren's eyes wavered from Sasha's form, looking up at his titan body, the pillars he'd made inspiring the same awe in him as it had Zoe.

"It hardened," Levi said. "even after extracting you from that titan, it didn't disappear. That's quite interesting." Levi's facial expression really didn't help anyone believe he was actually interested in the topic at hand,

Eren gave a sharp noise, fixing his attention back on Levi. "where's that bottle? Right! ON the spur of the moment I drank that armor bottle, became a titan, and…"

"We found Rod Reiss' bag, but," Historia held up the stained bag, drooping limply between her small hands. "the inside of the bag, and all the other bottles were just crushed, or the liquid had evaporated. Nothing is left."

"That's…" Eren began, eyes lowering to the floor, hands fisting next to him on the floor.

Levi spoke next, "There might be others somewhere else. After drinking the contents of that bottle...you managed to harden, something you could never do before. Thanks to that, you supported the ceiling that was about to collapse, and protected us from the heat and bedrocks. I don't think you have the knowledge to do something like that, yet you created this building in an instant. It sounds like nonsense, but that wall might've been built the same way too." Levi stepped closer to Eren, stooping to a bent knee. "In other words, with this, we could fill in Wall Maria's hole. Many of our enemies and friends died, we've traveled a long road and we're anything but heroes. However, we still...managed to reach this point."

The group was silent for a moment, leaving Sasha to break it with a small whisper, "By the way...that Titan."

They all knew which Titan she wasn't naming; Rod Reiss. Another shitstorm; she wasn't sure she'd seen the end of the one she'd been in. Zoe wondered when she'd last slept, how long she could go until she crashed, scuffed and sore, the wounds she'd received from earlier only increasing her weariness.

Connie shouted from his perch, nestled in the hole of the cavern's ceiling, "Captain, fast! Come here!"

Levi looked up briefly. "First of all, we must get out." His gaze strayed to Eren, brow lifting as he mumbled, "you really...look like shit."

She smiled to herself, walking at the back of the group with Levi at her side, arm brushing against his. Levi directed the group over the rubble, pairing Eren with Mikasa, filtering the younger members of his squad upwards. Rocks clattered down as they worked to find stable ground, hiking their way as safely as they could up the incline, before they switched to 3D gear, disappearing from view, the night sky barely visible from her vantage point.

"Don't think I didn't notice the blood before, Zoe," Levi murmured, catching her sleeve, halting her progress for a moment.

"It's nothing."

"You look like shit, too."

She was too tired to roll her eyes, sighing instead. "Well, that's not very nice."

Levi leaned close to examine her shoulder, where one of the fragmented bullet shots had lodged in her shoulder. "At least it's not deep. But still, I'm concerned for my soldiers. Shitty four-eyes got hurt, and I don't want to take anymore chances. If you think you can't continue, tell me now."

"I can. Don't treat me differently because-"

"All those wounds you got from Kenny," Levi's monotone broke for an instant around the words 'wounds', and 'Kenny', hands fisting at his sides to match his tone. "they're still not gone, and you carry yourself all wrong when you're hurt, you know. So you've got a lot of extra shit adding to all this."

"I'm fine, I can carry on."

"I know that. I trust you know your limitations, too."

She nodded, and he stepped away to allow her space enough to engage her gear, as Armin pulled Eren up and out of the cavern, Connie following quickly. Zoe reached to Historia, grasping her upper arm tight, helping the small girl navigate her way up the rocks, without the aid of 3DMG. Connie reached for Historia, tugging her up and away from the crater before he offered aid to Zoe, pulling her above ground into the cool night air. When she made to help Levi in the same way, he accepted it for once, instead of batting her hand away.

He brushed at his pant leg for a moment before he stepped up to the group surveying the caved in caverns, a huge stretch of earth utterly demolished. Her eyes grew wide as they played over the huge flaming body, no doubt the cause of the nearby forest fire. Levi examined it out of the corner of his eye as he strode past the group, walking towards the collection of horses and carts Armin had brought over to them.

"Let's follow that Titan. Be careful, people from the Central Brigade might be hiding in the surroundings," Levi said, the group turning away from the rather grand spectacle to follow him and his orders.

Armin spoke quickly, "Captain, if they made it out, I didn't see them."

"Doesn't matter. Kenny Ackerman isn't going to go down that easy," Levi replied, grasping the reins of his mount, holding the reins of another horse's out to Zoe. "And his soldiers wouldn't either."

In less than five minutes, the group was after the Titan's lumbering form, Hanji lying in the cart between them all, Eren and Historia sitting close to her head.

"Uhm, so basically, let's consider the Titan power inside eren to be the 'Primogenitor Titan'. If the 'Primogenitor Titan' is carried by someone not of the Reiss bloodline, it can't exert its true power. How ever, even if people from the Reiss family gain the power of the 'Primogenitor Titan', they become controlled by 'the will of the first king' and mankind cannot be freed from the Titans. Hm...I'm quite fascinated. The First King said that this was true peace? That's really interesting."

Eren spoke next, "In other words, there is still an option left. If I let that Titan eat me, Rod Reiss will return to being human. And it will be possible to have a complete 'Primogenitor Titan' once more."

"but that-!" Mikasa gasped.

"It looks like it," Levi said, and Mikasa looked at him, eyebrows raised in surprise. "After he's returned to being human, if we restrain Rod Reiss and rid him of the first king's brainwashing...if we can succeed in that, then maybe a way to save humanity is within reach. So then, you want to say that you're prepared to do that, right?"

Eren paused before he responded, "yes."

Looks were shared within the group, and Zoe was reminded of Eren's bravery, knew she'd never be able to sacrifice herself in the way he could. And she was less important than he was, in this fight for humanity.

"Eren," Mikasa said, "you can't possibly…"

Historia spoke over Mikasa, "There is one other option. To begin with, there are any number of problems in turning Rod Reiss into the 'Primogenitor Titan'. You speak of ridding the brainwashing, but that happens to be something the Reiss family has been unable to do, despite decades of efforts. Furthermore, you wouldn't be able to resist Rod Reiss' memory manipulation after he gained that power, no matter how much you tried to restrain him. We should think that there are many more unanticipated factors on our end."

"Historia, Zoe was brainwashed, and we managed to reverse that, so maybe the same potion will work," Levi said.

"I don't think so," Hanji croaked, lips pressed tight together, brow furrowed in pain. "I think this brainwashing is stronger than any knock off brand the Central government made. If we hadn't found her, it would've worn off eventually, like it did with her other troops, Nathan and Jay; and even if that mental state wouldn't be sound, with a distorted personality, it's not like the Titan's power."

Levi seemed to mull it over for a moment, nodding at looking to histria again. "Continue."

"On the other hand, now that we've wrested away the 'Primogenitor Titan from its holders, with their twisted sense of peace, this is precisely mankind's greatest opportunity," she said, gesturing to Eren, turning to make eye contact with the boy, hair whipped up in the wind, due to their speed. "that right...your father was trying to save us from the first king. Taking the 'Primogenitor Titan' from my older sister, even killing the children of the Reiss family… he had no choice but to do so."

Eren set a hand to his head, eyes wide in disbelief. "Father…"

Armin chimed in, "That's right! Dr. Jaeger had no choice but to do that, without thinking of anything else!"

"That's right," Mikasa said, "there must be a way to save mankind, even without the blood of the Reiss family. That's why he entrusted Eren with the basement key."

"Basement?" Sasha asked. "Ah, that's it, huh? It must be important!"

Connie agreed softly before Jean spoke, "Our aim of sealing the hole in the way is finally in sight. There must be more than one option."

Levi's eyes flitted over Eren. "You don't look like shit anymore, that's encouraging."

"I'm in with this option as well, but are you okay with it, Historia?" Hanji inquired. "There's no use for him, we just can't let that Titan go strolling about inside the walls, either. With that size, it doesn't seem like he can be restrained either," Hanji was pointing towards the flaming titan body, still misshapen and horrible. "in other words, we'll have no choice but to kill your father."

Historia gazed at the body, eyes flitting to Eren. "eren, I'm sorry. Back then, I was really thinking of becoming a Titan and killing you. That wasn't for the sake of humanity either. I just wanted to believe father wasn't wrong." the small girl paused, curling in upon herself. "I didn't want him to hate me. But now, we must part."

Their little convoy rolled onwards, pace increasing, and she saw the cart horses frothing at the bits in their mouths. As they grew closer to the deformed monster, they were blasted with the familiar heat. She didn't have a clue as to what they were going to do to counteract that part of the puzzle, but they'd come to it when they could. A few men on horseback were riding close to the Titan, the shouted orders garbled, but she could tell who it was; Erwin.

Eren stood up abruptly, shouting, "Hey stop! I'm talking to you! Can't you hear me, you stupid bastard?! Stop right NOW! I'm talking to you, Rod Reiss! You midget geezer!"

Levi looked to her then, and she responded by shrugging slightly, Levi seeming a bit surprised to hear that from Eren. She wasn't. Maybe a bit, but still, this was an inspiringly stupid move, more of a gamble than anything, that Eren would be able to get the Titan's attention.

Hanji popped up to look over the side of the cart, "umm, there doesn't seem to be any response." she glanced over her shoulder to Eren, asking, "Did you you do anything other than scream that other time?"

"that other time...I was trying to…" Eren mused, before he threw a punch towards the deformed variant, calling out, "Stop, Titan!"

"No response," Hanji followed up.

Eren continued to attempt his punch, "stop! STOP!"

She wondered if Eren knew how ridiculous he looked at the moment, deciding to laugh at him later, unable to take him to seriously. Levi noticed Erwin then, nodding towards his Commander.

"Levi," Erwin said in acknowledgement.

"Erwin?" Levi seemed surprised.

"How is everyone?" Erwin asked.

"Only Hanji is injured," Levi answered.

Hanji waved to her Commander, "Oi, Erwin."

"Commander!" Eren responded to the man'd presence as well.

"It doesn't seem too serious," Erwin said, looking over his shoulder at the group, "Well done everyone."

Levi spoke, "Eren's 'cry' isn't working...I have much to report."

"What is that Titan?" Erwin queried.

"It's Rod Reiss," Levi said, "I need your opinion Commander."

* * *

**| Levi |**

Rod Reiss was there at dawn, Orvud District's cannons already pointed towards the monstrosity. Levi and Zoe picked their way over the wall, plans firmly in place, returning the his squad, settled on the wall as well, the group of teens talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Are you sure you want to fight, Zoe?" he asked, gazing out towards the oncoming Titan.

"I do."

"But I know you're tired."

"I am, extremely so, but that doesn't matter, the adrenaline dismisses it easily."

"I'm not in the mood to die for you today."

"That's a fun joke."

"What do you mean?"

"That you'd die for me."

"I'm not joking." The statement made her freeze, and Levi walked on, satisfied with her reaction, "Oi, Historia. You can't join in the battle. You've been ordered to standby in a safe location, haven't you? What do you intend to do?"

"I came to settle my own destiny," she said, surprising him, "To run or fight. You're the one that told me to choose, Captain Levi."

He recalled entirely lifting her from the floor, holding her there as he snapped at her. He'd been stressed, concerned with Zoe's absence. In a way, he regretted his actions, gritting his teeth as he looked at the small blonde, Zoe approaching the group as he stood still.

Finally, he cursed, "Shit, there's no time. Here he comes."

They walked to the edge of the wall, his arms crossed firmly over his chest, Erwin at one shoulder, Zoe at the other, watching the cannons as they fired the first volley.

"So what happened?" Erwin asked, waiting for the Titan to react.

The Titan hardly paused, steam rising from its form. A hand reached, hitting the ground with a dull thud, and the Titan continued forward. Another round of cannon fire from the rows on the ground, an action that also had little to no result on the Titan's oncoming speed.

"It seems the cannons on the ground are even less effective," Erwin stated.

"Of course," Levi said. "Even from the firing angle on the walls, the wall cannons couldn't hit the nape. What's going on with them?"

"This is a motley crew of scrambled soldiers and cannons. Plus, this is the inner land of the north. It cannot compare to the front line of the Garrison in the southern parts of Wall Rose. But at this point, this is certainly the greatest military strength we can muster," Erwin said.

"Yea, I know that all too well. After all our strategy, this time is Just a gamble as well, isn't it? That's what your inspiration all comes down to in the end."

Hanji called out to her Commander, alerting them to her presence(though he'd sensed a vaguely annoying aura approaching), "Erwin! I brought it! All of the remaining explosives, rope, and netting. We still have to prepare it." One of her squad members approached, pushing along an explosive barrel in a cart. "And then 'this'. There's another one on the opposite side as well. Once fired, the triggers will be fixed and it'll wind up, like a three-dimensional maneuvering gear." She looked to Levi. "So what of the canon fire?"

"As effective as a bit of piss," Levi sighed. "So we're really going to use 'this' then?"

Erwin took control again, "alright, Levi, Jean, Sasha, Connie, Zoe; I'll leave the other side to you."

The three teens sounded off, as they jogged away, "Understood!"

Levi cast a look over his shoulder, praying the Commander's gamble would pay off, grateful he'd been allowed to keep Zoe in his radius. When the wind changed, he was blasted by the sudden rush of air, cursing his bad luck. The Titan was too hot to get close to, let alone stand on the wall and be caught off guard like this. Fuck it. He wasn't going to allow any panic to distort his face, watching as the Titan raised itself up, using the wall to pull itself upright, ribs gaping, showing its internal organs.

The people in the district had begun to mill around wildly, shouts and screams ringing out, and the Garrison troops started to scatter, the heat too much for the ones on the wall. Levi looked to the barrel of water, snatching a small bucket from the ground, pouring water over himself, the instant relief rather gratifying.. Zoe followed suit, and the rest of his squad did the same. He stepped towards a high ranking Garrison offer, setting a hand on his shoulder to bring the man's attention to him instead of the frightened citizens of his district.

"The Garrison my step down. We'll handle things from here," he said, a brought flash coming from the other side, and he waited for Erwin's flare.

As soon as he saw the tinted smoke burst in the air, the attack commenced, the things Hanji had built doing their jobs, blasting the Titan's wrists, toppling it over. Erwin shouted Eren's name, and the boy's Titan form sprang at the monster, sack of explosives over his shoulder, following his order to the exact letter; and the Titan's mouth was open, just like Erwin had predicted. His gamble was paying off, and Eren shoved the bundle of barrels into Rod Reiss' mouth.

After a moment, the explosives detonated, a huge amount of light and noise ripping through the air. Erwin's command to finish it off with maneuvering gear reached them, and, with water dripping from his brow, Levi shot into the air, Zoe and Mikasa hardly a second behind him, debris flying through the air; they all used it to their advantage. They couldn't miss this chance, blades slicing through boiling flesh, hardly able to breath due to the heat. Zoe whirled past him, movements as clipped and precise as always. Historia flew in next, and dealt the final blow, knocked to the ground a beat later.

Historia Reiss rose soon enough from her padded landing spot, and Levi turned his attention back to his landing, dropping down onto a red tiled roof, entirely because Zoe was there. She smiled at him, bright as ever, standing to greet him, swaying only slightly.

He beat her to it, saying, "You don't look like shit entirely."

She sighed, rolling her eyes, looking down at groups of citizens, everyone's focus elsewhere at the moment. Of course, people had began to notice him, and Zoe held some renown. Garrison Troops milled around, one of them calling up to him. Levi dismissed him with a wave of his hand, unwilling to involve himself just yet, deciding to slip off the roof. Zoe followed him, falling off the roof instead of slipping, and he caught her before she hit the ground, though he set her upright soon enough, hidden in the shadow the roof cast.

"...You know, I like that you're not dead," she murmured, stopping close enough for her boot to be pressed up against his , chin tucked to her chest, standing next to him,

Zoe pushed her curly wet hair back, clothes clinging to her small frame. Levi turned to look at the side of her face she presented to him, this display of communication, very close to each other without flinching, was new. But he didn't give a shit, allowing his pinky to brush against hers, and she grasped his thumb in one hand for an instant, tugging once.

"Me too."

She gave him a halfhearted smile, pulling him along after her for a second out of the shadows, dropping his thumb after that moment had passed. He fell into step alongside her, a beat behind, feeling more serene than he should've, frown lines clearing up for a minute or so, until he was pulled back into clean up efforts, Zoe by his side, and vice versa. Levi always preferred her working with him, as she'd always done. And, as always, she resisted going to the medical tent that'd been erected 30 minutes ago, insisting that the home made patch up she'd given herself was better than actual bandages and wound flushing.

He stopped by Erwin on the way out, scowling down at the one handed shitty bandit, in all his eyebrow-y glory, "Why the hell are you here?"

"Now, Levi, that's no way to talk to a superi-"

"Cut the shit, how the hell did you get hurt again?"

Erwin cleared his throat, hair still a bit damp. "Clipped by some shrapnel."

Levi couldn't find the words to express his extreme disappointment with his Commandeer, in that the man seemed to be set on ending his life sooner than it should. Because without him, Levi wasn't sure if humanity would win. Maybe Armin, but the kid didn't have that charisma that Erwin did, and it might take him years till he matured; maybe a death, but Levi wasn't prepared to die for him to realize his true strength. The notion was some sort of poetic justice, and no doubt the former idea might work, but still. Eyebrows still had work to do, and if vaguely parental anger might correct the actions of a man he'd known a bit longer than Zoe, then he'd try for that.

The overly smart ones loved to deny their mortality, manifesting in a lack of care for wounds. He saw the same pattern in Zoe, even Hanji, though shitty four-eyes was mostly talk.

"We can't lose you, you know? So don't be shitty, and stop going out of your way to get hurt."

"I'm not exactly going out of my way, Levi," Erwin said, bushy eyebrow lifting.

"Sure. Watch your constipation, Erwin."

Zoe tried to creep out of the tent, wounds half bandaged, but he caught her quickly, her reaction slowed by what he assumed to be exhaustion. She was still energized enough to sigh heavily, plopping down on the nearest cot.

Levi pointed at the two of them, annoyed at having to be a fucking grandparent in this moment. "You two had better stay still. If you leave before Sjeh clears you…"

The effect was instant, Zoe and Erwin straightening with a mutual shiver, statuesque, now, rather than wiggling with impatience. Levi nodded, quite proud of himself, leaving the tent soon after Sjeh appeared, reminding Zoe to find him after she was finished here. The stout woman was already waddling about, snapping at the other medics, Levi's entire squad under the white tent, along with a couple other troops who'd gotten too close to the monster, burns showing through tattered uniforms.

* * *

_Cut me down, Slice me deep; I dare you. Burn my crown, Spit on my grave; I'll make you. See my face. See my face; I'll haunt you. Deep in the dark, Behind your eyes, I'm on you. Salt of the Earth, Bird of the Heavens; You hear them, All in the hell. The hollowest halls, Don't fear them,_

* * *

Levi didn't waste anytime to go search the woods, not bothering to sleep, collecting an exhausted Zoe and another soldier to his side, riding fast back out to the wooded area. The area was a desolation, charred trees bent wearily, casting a slim shadow over the remains of grass, blackened earth all that remained in most places. Rubble lay in place of the church, a wide swath of land sunk into the ground, dust billowing around him when a gust swept through the area.

The scent of burnt tree sap hung as a vague suggestion in the air, everything far too still, the birds and animals no doubt chased away by the fire and the monstrous form. Levi held his gun tighter, walking along the edge of a forest that'd been spared from the fires, packed close enough to provide cover to his enemies. He didn't doubt his ability to hold his own, even in a surprise attack, but he could do without, and the area seemed to infect his spirit. It'd been a long time since he was this on edge, but he supposed the latent danger of Kenny Ackerman was enough to bring the effect about.

They swept the area closely, nearing the end of the tree line, Levi's gaze on the trees above him. There'd been no sign of life anywhere, and he let himself breathe, the ominous feeling that'd set in blown away in the next breeze. The top foliage rustled softly with the wind, devoid of any apparent life

When his subordinate cocked his rifle, followed quickly by the same noise from Zoe's, he brought his gaze down; of course the man had made it out. "Kenny," he said, not bringing his gun up when he saw the state of the man.

Kenny opened an eye that wasn't sealed shut, temple smeared with dried blood. "Huh...It's you."

"Your comrades that have fought with you against us have all fallen," Levi said, tone as even as usual, betraying no emotion as he inquired further, "Are you the only one left?"

Kenny was silent, closing his eyes, lips barely forming his words, "...I guess." The man took a shuddering breath, barely moving in his propped up position on a tree.

"Captain...he's.." his soldier spoke softly, the butt of his rifle at his shoulder still, aimed carefully at Kenny, though there was really no need to shoot an already dead animal.

Levi turned to the man and Zoe, pointing at the blonde male. "Return to base and report in.."

"understood," the blonde said, turning on the heel of his boot, walking fast back to base.

When Zoe began to follow, he stopped her, "Zoe, stay."

Kenny's shoulder shook in something like amusement, casting his gaze towards Zoe, standing close to Levi. Kenny looked like shit, limp, blood soaked strands of hair falling into his sallow face. In fact, he almost smell like it at this point.

"Serious burns and you're bleeding out," he murmured, "there's no saving you now."

"you sure?" Kenny asked, opening whatever he had clutched to him, a syringe filled with clear liquid safe in the padding. "I dunno though." Levi's eyes widened, not only at Kenny's resourcefulness, but the idea that he hadn't already taken advantage of the serum. "I took one of these from Rod's bag, because apparently taking one can turn you into a Titan. Maybe I'll become a stupid one...I dunno. But at least...it could keep me alive." Kenny gave a little grunt of amusement, gaze on Zoe now. "Give you enough time to take your revenge, pretty."

"It's Zoe," she responded, hand curling into a tight fist.

"...nice to play pretend for once," Kenny continued, eye sweeping over her frame. "But, never thought he'd allow himself to become so weak, that this is no longer pretend."

Levi was slightly annoyed by the statement, believing wholeheartedly she made him stronger, gave him one more thing to fight for. But here he was, in front of the man who'd taught him to show no emotion, how to fight with full intent to kill as soon as possible and most importantly, be stronger, and better than everyone else in order to survive and prosper. He didn't show any 'weakness', stayed silent to let the man finish.

"Half done kidnapping shit, what is she to you? I'll hear it from you, before..."

Levi replied quickly, "A partner."

"You're still too cold to say shit else, that's more like it. Pretty girl for you to play house with, to me."

"It's not like that."

"Fine. Not as if...I can…if you can really feel that emotion..." Kenny shrugged, shut his eyes, ending the conversation, even though Levi thought he still had something, maybe, to prove to him.

Levi stepped a bit closer, Zoe still hovering over his shoulder. "You probably had a better chance when you were less...messed up. So why didn't you."

"yeah...I wonder...why. Gotta make sure I do it right..or I might turn out like him...some half-baked dumbass."

"There's no way you'll just sit here and wait for your death. C'mon, don't you have any better excuses?"

"yeah, I...don't wanna die, and...I wanted power, but...I see...now I think...I get why...he did something like that."

"Huh?"

"Everyone I saw...was the same. Alcohol...women, or even pretending to be God…" Kenny took a breath before continuing, beads of blood dripping from his goatee, blinking to rid himself of the blood that trickled into his eyes, clumping in his eyelashes. "family, the king, dreams, children, power; they all had something they were drunk on...it was what kept them moving. They were all slaves to something. Even he was." A violent coughing fit shook the man, blood spraying from his mouth, but he still spoke when he caught his breath, asking. "What about you? Being a hero! Getting the girl!?"

Levi lurched forward, grasping the man's shoulder, disregarding the mess of blood, determined to get something out of this man, who'd found him half-dead, on the floor of his dead mother's room. "Kenny...tell me everything you know! why didn't the previous king want mankind to survive?"

Zoe dropped to a crouch beside him, Kenny's words quiet now, "I don't know..but that was why we Ackermans went against the king…"

Kenny's cough sent a splatter of blood on his cheek, Levi's stomach clenching in distaste, but he had to have truth, placing his other hand on the dying man's shoulder. "I was told that I was an Ackerman too; is that true? You...who were you to my mother?"

"Idiot..just her big brother…" Kenny said, laughing low, amusement betrayed by a harder cough.

Levi couldn't help but be floored by the information, betraying his emotions, wetting his dry lips. "Then why...did you leave me back then?"

"I was unfit to be a parent."

With those words, the man slapped the case to his chest, arm strong for a moment, before the man went limp, arm falling to the grass, blood trickling from his mouth. His one open eye was sightless, and Zoe reached for Kenny, maybe to attempt to revive him, though she stopped herself quickly enough. Levi couldn't help but stare at this man, his uncle, his past somewhat clearer now, replaying moments he recalled when he closed his eyes.

Zoe's brief gentle touch at his shoulder brought him back to reality, and he sat back in the grass, looking to her, so afraid to touch him, sleep ringed eyes haunting him. He leaned towards her instead, unsure how to ask for some of the contact he wanted, almost needed.

"You're welcome to comfort me with touches and shit, but I'll tell you right now...it's not that deep," Levi tried to lie, frustrated he'd lost the man with answers, the man who might've brought a bit of closure to his little life. "Shit. Shitty guy, leaving me with this," He joked, half-heartedly as he set the box between his legs. "Fuck it, I can't care right now. What are we going to do with the body?"

"It's all up to you, I'll help you in anyway I can," she murmured, brown eyes muddy with exhaustion; but she was still trying for him.

"I know. Thank you."

She attempted a smile. "Of course."

She smoothed her hand over his shoulder, touching at the blood on his cheek, smearing it in her effort to wipe it away. Zoe frowned, wetting the edge of her cuff with her saliva, and he stopped her, feeling like a small child again. Levi scowled at her, pressing at his cheek with the heel of his hand in a personal effort to rid himself of the mess on his cheek, but his hands were already bloody, and it didn't help.

"Are you trying to mother me, Zoe?" He asked, sighing heavily, trying an idle conversation continue as he considered the dead body in front of him.

Zoe waved his comment away, covering her yawn in her hand. "I couldn't do that even if I tried."

"I don't think I should leave him to the birds, and shit," Levi said, rising slowly to his feet, offering Zoe a hand, "but I don't have a shovel."

"We could go back to the outpost."

"As long as we move quickly."

She took his hand, let him pull her to her feet, holding her hand for the time it took to coax her into a fast walk. Zoe stumbled as they walked, grasping his hand tighter so he wouldn't pull away, using him as a pillar, the mental trauma she'd experienced with her memory alteration no doubt increasing her lethargy exponentially. So he allowed her to hold onto him, leaving her outside the gate of the military outpost as he searched for shovels, returning to her presently, swaying where she stood.

Zoe gave him a sleepy smile, offering to take one of the shovels from him, which he refused, letting her half assed complaints go in one ear and out the other. He caught her hand almost automatically as they made their way back to Kenny, the dead man still where Levi had left him. Levi had almost expected him to be gone, that somehow, Kenny had faked his death, had another syringe with serum in it, saved himself. But he hadn't; the remaining serum was in Levi's inner pocket, hitting his chest with every step he took.

They dug a shallow grave in silence, and Zoe stood back to allow Levi some space so as to shift Kenny into the hole they'd made. Gently, she pushed the loose earth back over the man's lower body, stopping at his waist to look at Levi, standing, straight-backed and unmoving at her side, shovel useless in his hands. He muttered a quick curse under his breath, pushing the remaining dirt over Kenny's torso, muted feelings bubbling up, throwing him through a loop.

He clenched his jaw tight when the job was done, dropping abruptly to a crouch, pressing his face briefly to cupped hands, knowing the slight pain he felt was silly, useless. The man had turned his back on Levi, still young, after coaxing him into a dangerous lifestyle, left him down there, in the dark. It'd been so dark sometimes, so fucking dark, he wondered if life could exist in the underground, hadn't believed in life when he watched his mother wither away. No one had cared; Kenny had come too late to save his sister.

But, before Kenny left, he'd given Levi fighting chance. Levi had been given power, of the most basic sort, starting with food, something he hadn't seen in awhile. He'd been consigned to the same fate as his mother before Kenny had shuffled through the door of her bedroom. To have someone looking after his well being, teaching him how to interact people, a skill formerly foreign to him. Kenny taught him about knives; how to hold the grip tight, and how to disarm a man dim enough to come at him without a similarly firm grip. The 'basics', in the underground, were consistent with an intent to stave off basic fears of dying and starvation.

"My mother's name was Kuchel," Levi said, addressing Zoe without looking at her. "The fat fuck of a pimp called her Olympia, didn't even notice her death, nevermind my presence."

"Mary, was my mother's name," she murmured, two of her fingers resting on his shoulder, "she...was a very proper woman, who belonged to a middle class family, and married a man she thought was below her station. It was a common arguing point."

"Did you love her?"

"Yes, I suppose, in the way you love a family member who you don't...really...I mean, in retrospect, in a couple of ways, she did help me achieve the position I have now. I can't hate her. "

"I think I may have loved her, my mother. I barely have a memories of her, just her name, fleeting images, then her death, when she wouldn't wake."

"I'm sorry, Levi."

"For what?"

"That you mom died, and...I don't know. It's polite to say sorry. "

He gave short noise, reaching for her hand on his shoulder, standing up again. She raised her hand to his hair, plucking at the dark strands before she tried at his bloody cheek again. Levi pulled her hand away from his face gently, grasping the two shovels, moving a good foot away from the grave before he looked to her. Zoe was slow to react, a tired smile pulling at her pretty lips, exhaustion almost palpable.

Levi wanted to tell her, show her, that he loved her all the more for being here with him, that he wasn't 'playing' with her in the slightest. "Are you going to let me carry you back?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she protested, "that's dumb, no-no-LEVI!"

He had her on his back, weight easy to manage, as she was lighter than Isabel had ever been, and certainly not as drunk as the girl had been on the number of occasions Levi had carried her on his back. In a series of quick moves, glares, and veiled threats to any officials that tried to get in his way, he got her back to her townhouse within the capital, setting her down on her bed, resisting her pull, and small words of encouragement, asking him to stay with her.

"You need sleep, and I can't stay right now."

"Didn't Hanji call you Captain 'stick in the mud'?" she mumbled, almost inaudible, a sly smile playing over her lips. "Or was it Captain fun sponge?

Levi arched a disapproving eyebrow, sliding the covers neatly over her, pulling her curtains across the one window in her room, dark enough now to sleep comfortably in. He was going to throw legal name change papers in shitty four-eyes' face the next time he heard a new nickname. Hanji was giving Zoe too many ideas.

* * *

_Here I am_  
_The warrior man_  
_Here I stand_  
_The warrior man_  
_I done tried it all, Tried it all(Hey), Done tried it all; I can't stop this internal bleeding. And my heart is leaking, heart is leaking out; And it hurts_


End file.
